Chapter 44
Forty - Four
Shaye
After a few days to recoup, I'm back on my feet and the strength of my magic has returned.
This morning, I'm not sitting beside Nyx's bedside and feel an enormous amount of guilt weighing on me for my absence.
With my magic restored, I've been helping him heal.
But his scars. I can't make those go away.
It's hard not to blame myself. Every day when I leave his room I weep.
Not because I see him differently, he will always be Nyx to me.
But because he sees himself differently and I'm the reason.
Had he not been taken alongside me during the attack, he wouldn't have endured the torture and cruelty he did.
Perhaps all Vesper's pent-up anger and viciousness would have been speared my way instead.
Although, Bastian put his foot down and wouldn't allow me to be mistreated by her, it didn't stop the Demon King from harming me.
My healing process has been slow, but what would typically take weeks for burns like mine to clear up, is taking far less time.
My head, although not bruised and bleeding anymore, still has a mending cut and from Hani has expressed, will probably scar.
I glance down at my right palm where Vesper's blade was dragged across to open the portal and grimace.
I put up the fight of my life to escape but still failed.
The realm is in grave danger and that, too, is my fault.
I can already hear Atlas' voice chastise me for thinking such thoughts. What could I really have done while drugged and pinned down by several grown men with demon strength?
Suddenly I feel the weight of their bodies crushing me, one of them pressing their knee into my neck cutting off my breath and will to fight. I feel their eyes on my naked body hanging for all to see. Shame, guilt, and embarrassment throb in my chest.
Hani's face appears in my mind spurring me to shove those traumatic memories from the forefront of my mind, swiping the tears they conjured. I will reclaim my power. I survived. I survived when I was meant to break.
Wiping my face clean, I ready myself to meet with General Naziri. The last thing I need is to appear as a weak bumbling fool. Silly girls don't sway mighty men. Powerful ones do. I intend to be the latter.
I follow my escorts through the winding and twisting hallways of General Naziri's house.
It's not a palace – they made sure I understood that early in my stay.
I suppose since I come from Midori and grew up in the Golden Palace they judged me, expecting me to belittle their home.
But I'm no longer accustomed to, nor do I crave the grandeur of castles.
I have fallen in love with the Harland House and the comfort and coziness it offers.
Every room serves a purpose and there's nothing frivolous involved.
General Naziri's home reminds me of the Tronovian row house.
Although it's much larger than the Harland House, it's not overwhelming.
It's also not separated from the rest of the city by a wall.
General Naziri's residence is amongst the houses of all citizens.
And by the looks of it, his home isn't much larger than an average family.
The trek from my borrowed quarters to General Naziri's meeting room takes a couple minutes.
My escort opens the double doors. I expected to see General Naziri on a throne, instead he and Helios are seated on plush pillows, lounging in a luxurious space of rugs, colorful patterns, and intricately arched windows overlooking the city.
Both men smile at me and motion for me to join them.
"Ah," General Naziri claps his ringed hands together. "I am a blessed man to behold the face of the daughter and heir of Enver Sol and Sylvane Basilius. Please, my dear, sit. Sit. Make yourself at home."
I offer him a smile matching his own and claim one of the open pillows across from him. I cross my legs and still have room. I could get used to sitting in comfort. And it certainly feels nicer than being forced to sit on a wooden chair for my healing burns to endure.
"Thank you for your hospitality, General Naziri." I bow my head to show him respect.
"It is my honor to host you and your friend for as long as you need.
" He claps his hands again and a line of attendants walk inside with silver trays of food and tea, setting it all on the rug before us and leaving just as quickly as they appeared.
"Please, eat. Drink. I never like discussing matters of great importance on an empty stomach. "
"I can relate to that," I chuckle and only reach for food once General Naziri has done so first. Turns out the courtly manners I learned in Midori do come in handy.
Helios clears his throat, drawing our attention.
"Forgive me," General Naziri wipes his mouth with a linen napkin. He motions to Helios who looks exactly like him, albeit a few decades younger. "This is my son, Helios. You two have met already though, no?"
I nod and smile. "Yes, we have met. Thank you again for coming to our aid in the desert."
Helios' warm brown eyes meet mine and the intensity nearly causes me to look away. He scratches his ringed fingers through his dark facial hair, as if he's attempting to think of something clever to say in response.
"I'm only glad Hagar and I were there to be of assistance.
" Some of his long dark locks slip out of the bun at the back of his head, so he refashions it.
When he pulls it all back, I notice his ears are pierced as well.
He's an incredibly handsome man. I fight a laugh picturing Nyx squaring up to him, wanting to retain the-most-handsome-man-in-the-realm title.
"General Naziri, if I might be so bold," I capture their attention. "What is to become of Bastian Tarkin?"
At the very mention of his name, the General frowns, placing the morsel of food in his hand back on the tray. His appetite apparently lost.
"That unholy bastard will be punished for his crimes against not only us, but the realm as a whole," he doesn't hesitate. "He is evil, his magic dark and disturbing. He is the reason Drogon's portal is now open after your father sacrificed himself to close it."
"And he kidnapped you," Helios adds, clearly having spoken with Hani. "You and your companion were tortured."
"Tortured?" General Naziri's eyes find mine. There is a pity only a father could bear for a daughter in his gaze. "The Beast tortured you?"
"No," I come to his defense, although I still blame Bastian for what I endured. "Drogon did."
"But the Beast did not stop him," General Naziri clarifies.
I swallow hard, remembering how Bastian fought to get to me. "He tried."
"Not hard enough," Helios sneers, his deep-rooted hatred for Bastian no secret. "May you find peace and healing here for all you have suffered."
I dip my head in gratitude for his blessing, but he's not going to like what I have to say next. "I ask that you spare his life."
"The Beast?" General Naziri scoffs. "Clearly you are still recovering from whatever head injury was inflicted upon you, child. There will be no mercy for the Beast."
"Kidnapping, torture, murder," Helios lists out, ticking his fingers. "These are not crimes that go unpunished."
"And I would readily agree with you, but Bastian is the reason Nyx and I escaped Malvolio – "
"He is also the reason you were there in the first place," the General grinds his back teeth.
"He knows the inner workings of the demons," I plead my case. "He can be an asset in this war."
"Or he can slaughter us all when we least expect it," Helios adds.
I'm not winning either man over right now.
"Why do you wish us to show mercy to an animal who clearly did not offer you the same humanity?" The General's question stumps me.
Why am I coming to Bastian's defense? He certainly doesn't deserve my forgiveness, nor any mercy extended to him. But then I see his face and remember all the good times we shared growing up and I'm immediately conflicted.
He's a monster, I remind myself. I've seen his cruelty firsthand.
But he saved us. He didn't have to. He could have made a run for it on his own. The demons probably wouldn't have chased him if he didn't have me. He could have gotten away and lived in obscurity. He chose to rescue us. Chose to right his many wrongs. Certainly, that counts for something.
"I am not asking you to forgive him," I say, which surprises them both. "I am asking you give him a chance to fight for his life. To fight for what little honor might be restored to him."
"You want fate to decide?" The General strokes his beard, considering my proposal.
"If he dies, he dies," I say simply. "If he lives, then he is to be kept alive as a tool to end this war."
"The spirit of Enver Sol lives on in you." The General smiles. "I will agree to your terms, but he will fight a creature in the arena for all to see. No weaponry. Just his magic may be used to defend himself."
Although we are coming to an agreement, Bastian's chances of survival are plummeting the longer we speak.
"Agreed," I bob my head. "We will let fate decide."
I walk down into the dungeon where Bastian is being held. He's tossing something against the wall and doesn't look up when I round the corner.
"I take it by your somber footsteps the meeting with General Naziri did not go well," his voice comes out as a barely-there rasp.
He still hasn't dared a glance my way, but I press myself against the prison bars and exhale. I'm not here delivering good news. "I tried to help you, Bas, but –"
"I know you did, Shaye." He finally looks up at me, and I stifle a gasp. His eyes are bloodshot and his cheeks sunken. My gaze darts to the plate of food brought to him this morning, and it's not been touched. He's purposely starving himself.
"Bas – "
"What is my sentence?" He interrupts.
I bury the emotions surprisingly flooding me. "You will fight for your life in the arena tomorrow. You will not be granted weaponry, but you will be allowed your magic. Should you win, you'll be kept alive to help us defeat Drogon. Should you lose…"
Bastian nods when I don't finish, understanding clearly what I'm ardently trying to avoid saying. "So," he sighs, "they will leave my future in fate's hands."
"They accused you of war crimes and according to their law – "
"I am guilty of war crimes," he says so calmly it sends a shiver down my spine.
"Bas – "
"There's no arguing against it, Shaye. I'm guilty. I deserve death." Tears well in his eyes, and he swallows hard. "I wish I could say I was not myself when I committed atrocities against countless people, but I can't. I was the ugliest version of myself, and I hate it."
I grip the bars tightly. "Maybe you are guilty, but you saved me and Nyx when it counted most. That means something, Bas."
He scoffs and shakes his head, scratching at the stubble growing along his jawline.
"It counts very little in the grand scheme of things.
I'm the reason you needed saving. I'm the reason your friend was tortured.
I'm the reason you…" He swallows hard, refusing to meet my line of sight.
"You think I can be forgiven for my sins?
" He rests the back of his head against wall.
Strands of blonde hair falls over his forehead.
He swallows hard, the ball in his neck bounces.
"The truth of the matter is I will die here, Shaye. Better to accept that now."
I frown and smack the prison bars, the sound echoes through the dark hallway. "You will not die here, Bastian. Don't you dare give up. You will fight; do you hear me? You will fight and you will live."
"I do not deserve to live!" He leaps to his feet with unnatural speed. Fury emanates from him to the point a tear stains my cheek. "Fate will find me guilty."
"You are not a quitter – "
"Even if I win tomorrow – defeat whatever horrendous and nightmarish creature they can muster – they will not permit me to walk out of Vashbehtan.
" He presses his forehead against the bars, and a tear slides down his cheek.
I'm tempted to wipe it away and comfort him, but I keep my hands to myself.
"I've committed unspeakable evils, yes. But I'm also Midorian.
The Naziris will not forgive that," he whispers.
"I will not abandon you here."
"You won't have a choice." His eyes meet mine and my soul shatters.
"I would rather die quickly in the arena then rot away in a prison cell until old age claims me.
" His face is close to mine. He reaches his hand through the bars to swipe a tear from my cheek.
Memories of the sweet boy I grew up with flood me and draw a small whimper from me.
"You must live, Shaye. Get back to Midori.
Find a way to undo all the wickedness I've unleashed. "
I wrap my fingers around his hand. "I will not leave you. I might not love you the way I once did, but I will not watch you die."
"There's no saving me now," he whispers, accepting his fate. His fingers twist in my hair with a crack of a smile as if fondly recalling some distant memory. "Could you please find it in your heart not to be stubborn about this?" His blue eyes soften.
I shake my head, lip wobbling. "Bas – "
Bastian draws me closer and presses his lips to my forehead. "Go back to Midori. Your parents will help you."
"They're not my parents though."
"Right," he nods. "They didn't know who you really were if that makes a difference."
"I know. But they still suppressed my magic, disguised my appearance."
"They were instructed to," he defends them. "They love you regardless."
"They love who they molded me to be," I snarl. "They don't know the real me, Bas."
"Then give them a chance to get to know you." He slips his calloused hand in mine and squeezes. "I know you don't love me the way I still love you, Shaye, and that's ok. Just know, I've made more mistakes than I can count, but loving you was never one."
Footsteps scuff down the stone steps and the guard growls, "Time is up."
Panic floods me. "Bas, promise me you will fight tomorrow." When he doesn't speak, I plead, "I need you to live. Please."
All he offers me is a sad smile. "It's you who needs to live, Shaye."
When I don't obey the guard's command, he comes down and ushers me toward the stairs.
"Bas! Promise me, Bas! Promise me!" I scream as I'm forced upstairs.
Bas watches, a stoic sadness overtaking him. I know that look. He's giving up, accepting his fate. But there's good in him, I know it. He doesn't need to die tomorrow.
"Bastian!"