Chapter Twenty-Nine JACKIE #2
That doesn’t make me feel better. Not even a little.
“How long have you…felt like that?”
“First day at Harvard.”
Oh, my poor Adam. Baby-faced freshman. My heart twists for him.
“It wasn’t all bad,” he says, voice warm. “After all, I met Carter there. And then you came along.”
I look down, throat tightening. Suddenly, we’re standing at the edge of the real reason I came here, and I’m not ready.
“Well, that didn’t exactly go over too well, so, yeah…” I ramble on, the carefully crafted plan I rehearsed in the car unraveling in real time. “I know it doesn’t fix anything. It’s not supposed to. That’s not why I created the fund.”
My mouth keeps moving, panic curling around my ribs. I’m scared he won’t forgive me this time.
But Adam is unaffected by my verbal stumble, and walks calmly to the window, pressing a button. The glass tints instantly.
For a moment, I’m rendered speechless. My throat works around a dry swallow as I watch his fluid movement around the room, mouth open, until he shuts the office door behind me.
I can barely hear the distinct click over my heart pounding.
“I… I don’t expect anything in return,” I whisper, my words coming out strangled. “That’s not why—”
Adam towers over me, so close I feel his body heat roll across my skin, setting my cheeks on fire.
He hooks a finger under my chin and tilts my face toward him, until his breath ghosts my lips, as he murmurs, “You take my breath away, Jackie.” His voice dips even lower. “Always have.”
That drop of hope bubbles in my stomach like champagne. But it feels unearned, knowing what coming here might cost me.
Guilt still clings to my skin, but he crashes his lips over mine with such hunger, it makes my knees buckle.
“And there’s something about your sense of justice and care that really turns me on.”
The hand squeezing my side possessively scatters my thoughts, and I forget I’m supposed to come clean.
“Is this a new kink of yours?” I pant out, fingers trailing his chest.
“Yeah. Acts of service make me feral.” He nips my earlobe. “Where’s your bodyguard?”
The question stops me in my tracks. “Outside…on the couch.”
“You’ll have to be really quiet then,” he whispers in my mouth. “This door isn’t soundproof.”
As much as I crave to have his hands on me, I can’t get sidetracked.
“Wait… I have to tell you something.” I gather all the courage I have, but he’s looking at me like he’s a second away from spreading me over his desk.
The words fly out before I second-guess myself again. “You were telling the truth.”
Adam stills, searching my face, then tilts his head, confused. “I never lied to you—”
“Before I left. The other…” I trail off, my mouth dry, “women. I know they didn’t exist. I got proof.”
His lips part, slightly moving like he wants to say something, but the words are silent. Then shock twists his features. “You hacked my accounts…”
Adam drops his arms, inching away from me, all the color drained from his face.
I clasp my hands to stop them from shaking. “Not only yours.” Because admitting to several counts of felony clearly makes things better.
All playfulness evaporates, replaced by tense frown lines. “So that’s what all this is about? You’re trying to feel less guilty?”
I shake my head violently. “No. The grants have been in the works since we came back from your parents’ place. I only got confirmation about…” I can’t even say it. I’m so ashamed I accused him of being a liar and a cheater. “Only recently.”
A trace of hurt shadows his beautiful face, and his shoulders drop. “In Italy?”
I can’t blame him for thinking the night in Venice only happened because I finally got my proof.
My gaze never wavers from his. “The day before we flew there.”
“Ah.” The sound is dry, brittle. “That explains the apology.” He chuckles darkly. “And there I was thinking maybe you’d realized on your own that I could never have done that to you.”
His chest heaves, fists clenched at his sides. I’m not exactly sure what I was expecting his reaction to be, but rendering him speechless was not on my list. I don’t know what to do with silence.
Adam’s jaw tenses, and my pulse picks up speed with every step he takes toward me. For a terrifying second, I think this is where we end.
The edge of his desk bites into my backside as he cages me between his arms. He hasn’t yelled at me to leave yet, and I don’t know if I should take it as a good sign.
He regards me for a long moment, and I hold my breath. Maybe I should leave. He knows now, and probably needs some time to think.
But a flicker in his green eyes makes me stay put.
Then he rests his forehead on my chest. A deep sigh shuddering his large frame above me.
“I should be furious,” he murmurs.
The words feel like absolution before I register how resigned he sounds. And somehow that’s worse. Will I lose him for good this time?
Outside his door, the murmur of people passing by and muffled voices rings too loud in the silence pulsing between us.
When he shifts his head, I brace myself.
He has every right to tell me to disappear and never cross his path again.
But his mouth hovers over the patch of skin peeking out of my shirt and plants a warm kiss, sending my senses into overdrive.
He follows it with a light bite, then moves up, kissing and biting my collarbone.
Heat blooms across my skin, seeping into my bloodstream, as confusion and want battle in my chest.
“You couldn’t just trust me, could you?” His voice is velvet, but he can’t hide the tension pulling beneath the surface.
His words sting. I could give him a million reasons why I did it, but I don’t. He begged me to believe him; no excuse would fix it.
His fingers make quick work of my top buttons, and he slides his palm over my bra, teasing and gentle to the point where I’m squirming.
“You make me so mad, I can’t think.” His breath comes faster on my neck, and I’m lost in the feeling of his touch when he suddenly pinches my nipple, and I almost yelp, clamping my mouth shut at the last second. “And I still want you.”
“Adam,” I practically plead.
His hand fists in my skirt, pinning me in place. “It always has to be your way.”
There’s a dangerous undertone, like that time in the boathouse, but this dominant side of him never frightens me. It’s the relief of surrender, in the hands of the man I trust to break me in the best possible way.
“I should throw you out of this office,” he whispers into my skin, voice like gravel.
Fingers skim beneath my skirt until they reach the edge of the silk between my legs. A gentle brush of his knuckles against the fabric sends a hot wave low in my belly. I fumble to find purchase on the smooth wood.
“You think you have the right?” Tender kisses trail my jaw until we breathe the same air again. “After everything?”
His words sting because they’re true.
I rest my chin on his shoulder, my insides coiled up. “I just… oh God…”
“You what, Jackie?” He continues his feather-light touch over my panties.
My breath stutters; I feel too warm, too strung out. “I wanted to know what happened…please…” I moan. “Why did she lie…”
“My sweet control freak,” he tuts. “Not in here.” Adam straightens and takes two steps back, leaving me a quivering mess. “On your knees.”
Oh.
My body obeys him without hesitation, sliding down the desk.
The carpet is dense under my knees. He takes his time to look at me, skirt hiked to my waist, damp panties on display. Trembling in anticipation of what he’ll ask of me next.
I have no idea what his answer means, but I’m past the point of caring. I’m helplessly drawn to his hands, slowly unbuckling and dragging his zipper down.
With each passing second, the pulsing in my core spikes to an unbearable rhythm.
“Did you put on that lipstick for me?” he says, sliding his hand up and down his length, so very slowly. “Open your mouth.”
The imposing sight of him, flushed, his gaze burning, wrecks me.
All I want is to feel him.
Taste him.
Break him.
His hand anchors in my hair when I take him as deep as I can. Greedy and insatiable, digging my nails into his hard thighs, I double down at the sound of his strangled moans.
But he doesn’t let me control the pace. One hand on my jaw, he moves faster, deeper, until my vision blurs. But I don’t want him to stop.
“You keep testing my patience, baby,” he grunts. “It’s a good thing I —” His words dissolve on his lips when my throat contracts around him.
I let him pour everything out, grasping onto his scent, the tang on my tongue, and the way he chases his pleasure.
He’s close. I’m so attuned to his tells that I know what he needs. With a swirl of my tongue, I push myself forward, my nose almost brushing his skin.
Adam’s eyes screw shut. “I need to pull—”
But I don’t let him go. I want all of him.
He gasps, fingers flexing around my head until he spills everything. And I don’t stop until he’s spent. Until he’s completely still.
We’re both breathless, dazed gazes locked on each other, lost for words.
Adam recovers first, reaching for my hands, and silently pulls me to him.
The buzz coming from my phone violently lands me back in reality.
“I should get that.” My voice comes out raw.
He only nods, straightens, and tucks himself away, before pulling my skirt down without a word. He tucks my hair behind my ear, retrieves my phone vibrating on the chair, and silently holds it out to me.
I try to clear my throat while straightening my clothes. “Yes.”
Michelle starts her rapid-fire update on a new client, but I can’t think straight.
“Tell me more when I get to the office.”
Adam is sitting at his desk, like he’s ready to end a meeting. It’s sharp, like a rejection.
He doesn’t yell. Doesn’t soften either, just buttons up his shirt, and somehow it pours gasoline on my anxiety.
All of a sudden, I’m self-conscious; my voice comes out thin, brittle. “I have to go.”