Chapter Twenty-Nine JACKIE #3
“Sure,” he says. “We should talk.” He rolls a pen between his fingers, looking at me with an unreadable expression. “When you have the time.”
Is he punishing me or protecting himself?
I can’t read him, but something in his demeanor makes me want to bolt. To deal with a real conversation and the consequences of what I confessed, after he’s had me on my knees, feels overwhelming.
There’s nothing else to say, and I’m about to cross the threshold when I glance back.
I wish I hadn’t.
Because Adam is slumped in his chair, hand over his mouth, a deep crease between his brows.
Have I managed to ruin everything for good this time? I tried my best. To change, to let him in. To stop being paranoid.
But maybe it’s not enough to undo the hurt I caused him. That I keep causing him.
I took a risk and laid my cards on the table. Now it’s the part where he finally gets to decide what comes next.
Three days and a full-scale security operation later, my new home is practically airtight. I’m in my sparsely furnished living room, watching Patrick scroll through pictures of his daughter moving into her college dorm.
“We met her roommate,” he says, swiping through his phone to show me her campus. “Sweet girl from Montana. They were already giggling when we left.”
Pride radiates from him. It’s written all over his face, proof that every sacrifice was worth it. The kind of pride I never saw in my own father’s eyes.
Most of my things are still in boxes, hidden in the new drawing room. The new kitchen still feels temporary. Bare counter-tops, only the essentials unpacked.
Except for the incomplete crystal rainbow.
Each piece is lined up along the breakfast nook, exactly where the morning sun spills in.
I can’t put my finger exactly on the moment I decided I had to bring the incomplete set with me and display it. If I were superstitious, I might say I hoped they’d work as a good luck charm. Maybe channel a little magic through the light and fix the wreckage I’ve made of things.
But the truth is, they remind me of him. Plain and simple.
After the last security briefing, Derrick and Logan gave me the green light to officially return to New York, on the condition that protection would be doubled.
Carter was way too relaxed about it, and Logan wouldn’t let anything slip when I pushed for details. I don’t know what they’re hiding, and I’ll deal with it after tonight. But when the offer came, I grabbed it with both hands.
I knew the second I peeled off the yellow police tape from the hallway that I couldn’t spend another night in my old home.
This house doesn’t feel like mine yet, but at least here I can unravel in peace, without having to pretend I don’t notice Carter and Eliza’s worried glances. I love them, but I’d rather have a hundred guards pacing my floor than stay with them much longer.
Patrick adjusts his earpiece. “If you’re ready, I’ll tell the driver to pull around.”
“I’ll be right out.” I give him a small smile, thumb hovering over my phone screen, before thinking better of it and shoving it into my clutch.
I almost called Adam to let him know I’d moved in. But something stopped me.
Yes, we had sex.
Amazing sex. Again.
But afterward, he seemed…distant. Off.
I’m still hanging on to the way he said, “We should talk”. Maybe this time we actually will, instead of ripping our clothes off.
I came clean. The ball’s in his court now. I don’t feel I have the right to demand more. And maybe, deep down, I’m also afraid of what he’ll decide.
“Let’s stop at the office first,” I tell the driver as I slide into the backseat. I have to sign off on some last-minute security additions to our labs. The final box to check before we can resume work at full capacity.
Mom picks up after the second ring. I haven’t forgotten the brunch fiasco, and I’d put off talking to her again until I took some time to calm down.
“All set for the bachelorette party?” she asks brightly.
“Yep, I’m meeting the girls there.”
The private club has been vetted harder than a presidential inauguration.
“That’s lovely, dear. Did you settle in to your new place?”
I hesitate. “Yeah, it’s…nice. You should come by.”
Maybe this time she’ll keep her opinions regarding my decoration choices to herself. I hate when I’m excited about something and she manages to nitpick at it until it loses all its flavor.
“Actually, that’s good timing,” she says brightly. “We need to talk about Blanca’s winter gala.”
Of course. The time off was useless. “Are you kidding me?”
“What? We can’t miss it.”
“I don’t want anything to do with that woman anymore.”
“But you need to make an appearance.” Mom pushes the subject, and I snap.
“Damn it, Mom. I’m the fucking CEO of the biggest tech company in the country. I don’t need to play nice with those women. I don’t need to audition for a husband at their freaking balls.”
Silence crackles down the line.
“You’re…right,” she finally says, her voice thin. “We’ve been doing this because I thought it was what we had to do…to fit in. But you don’t have to, do you?”
She chuckles softly. “I raised a fearless daughter, then expected her to live like I did. A scared newcomer, desperate not to embarrass your father.”
“You did what you needed to find your place, Mom.”
“I thought being friends with Blanca and her circle would make things easier for you,” she says after a pause.
“They did a lot more harm than good anyway,” I mutter bitterly.
“Is there something more that you’re not telling me?”
Telling her about Adam is out of the question at this moment. There’s too much to pour out on the phone. But I do tell her what I overheard in the bathroom. The things Blanca said about Eliza. And my brother.
By the time I get to the office, I’m slightly less morose. This won’t take long, and I’m excited to go and celebrate Eliza.
The floor is nearly empty; it’s Friday night after all, but Michelle’s still at her usual spot. I can’t believe I’m the one to say this, but the girl needs to get a life.
Although, something about her is… different tonight. She jumps up when she sees me, and that’s when I notice. She’s wearing heels. And a dress. Lipstick.
“Finally got yourself a Friday night out?” I tease.
She blushes, tucking her short bob behind her ears. “Yeah,” she hesitates. “I, um, have a date.”
“Way to go, Michelle.” I perch on the edge of her desk, grinning. “You look lovely. Who’s the lucky guy?”
She looks down at her fingernails. “Actually…you know him.”
“Oooh, tell me more!”
This girl deserves to go out more, she works too hard.
“Your friend Adam stopped by yesterday.” She hesitates. “He asked me to dinner. I hope that’s OK.”
I hear words coming out of her mouth, but I don’t understand.
The air changes. My lungs feel too small.
“Adam? My…” My stomach clenches. “The public affairs consultant?”
Michelle shrinks back in her chair, voice barely a whisper. “If it’s against company rules, I can call it off.”
I can’t breathe. I thought we were getting better somehow. That maybe we were…
But I don’t have the right to say anything. He’s not mine anymore. Can’t stop him.
“Of course not,” I say, blinking hard. “Where’s he taking you?”
She gushes about this restaurant he picked. She’s blushing, talking fast, so endearing I can taste her innocence.
I smile through it. Nod at her story, say I’m happy for her.
But inside, something cracks open in my chest. It’s not jealousy. Or pain. It’s the dark side of hope.
Naked despair.