CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO
In my dreams he had to beg me to change my mind, to give in, to yield, but that wasn t happening now.
I did not protest. I wanted this. All of him.
Demaratus had taught me that self-control was of the utmost importance. But Jason had obliterated mine.
He laid me gently on the bed, as if I were made of glass. He followed me down, caging me with his arms and body. If you want to go, you should go now.
Because we might soon pass a point of no return.
Shaking my head I told him, I don t want to leave. I want to be here with you. I wanted to lie with him, to be naked with him, to find out what happened where all my dreams left off.
When he kissed me again, it was more than just physical passion that I felt. There was an emotion there-a message he was conveying. He kissed me like he didn t want to ever let go of me.
Like he cared about me.
He reached down to outline my mouth, my cheeks, my jawline, with kisses. He kissed down to my throat, sliding his lips across my neck, and it made my nerves light up like a firefly. Then he was kissing the base of my throat, sucking at my skittering pulse, and fiery sensations glided along my skin, spiraling out from his mouth.
I dug my fingers into his shoulders while he kissed along my collarbone and over to my left shoulder. He pulled at my tunic, wanting access to more of my skin, and I hissed when he brushed against my wound. It was sensitive to touch.
What s wrong? he asked, sounding concerned.
I pulled the tunic away from my shoulder so that he could see. I was stabbed.
His eyes darkened, full of fury. Who do I have to kill?
Again, his words shouldn t have excited me, but they did. We were attacked at the temple. Another acolyte already took care of the man that did it.
When was this? he demanded.
A few days ago.
His eyes widened in disbelief. And you climbed over the wall in this condition?
It doesn t hurt. And it was the truth. I hadn t thought of it at all until he d touched it. Even if it did, it would be worth the pain to be close to you.
There was a long pause, an expression in his eyes that I didn t understand, and then he spoke. I understand that all too well.
Before I could ask what he d meant, he was kissing me again.
The kisses started out tiny, delicate, brushes of his lips against mine. But he built my pleasure the same way my sisters had built a fire. He began with the smaller things, the fleeting touch of his lips on mine, a whisper of his fingertips on my skin, a soft murmur of pleasure, piling them up. Then he ignited them, his touch firm, his lips demanding, until I was blazing and ready to consume everything within reach.
As that pleasure spread through me like warm honey, his kiss continued to smolder and burn. He incinerated whatever doubt I might have still had left. He reached over to knot his fingers in my hair, holding me in place while his tongue moved urgently against mine. His kisses were hot, tangling us together. They burned heavy, like the seal Io had pressed to my shoulder, and I did my best to burn him back.
This was everything-that way that all his attention was focused and intent on only me, how his fingers grasped my flesh, his chest grazing mine. He made me feel like a newly created sword being thrust into a fiery heat, and he would forge me into something new with his kiss and his touch.
Jason was magic, no matter what he d said. He had created some kind of potion that emanated directly from his skin and lips and I was helpless against it. Like he was a shape-shifting terawolf with a special kind of venom that went into my bloodstream like a sickness, infecting every part of my being. The only solution was to keep kissing him, to touch more of him, to move against him.
As if he were both the cure and the disease.
He gently tugged at my tunic and attached his mouth to a spot of skin that was below my collarbone and just above my breast. He sucked and I felt his teeth as he tugged at the skin. I arched against him, my eyes blurring, fire lancing through me as he marked me.
When he finished he pulled back and surveyed his work. I glanced down and saw my skin had reddened.
You re mine, he told me in a tone that brooked no argument.
And you re mine. I needed to get closer to him. I tugged at him, wanting his body against me.
He shook his head. I don t want to hurt you.
You won t, I promised. I m tough.
I noticed, he said with a grin.
Please. I had thought only minutes ago that I could have him pleading with me for more and now I was the one doing it.
I wasn t even embarrassed.
He gave me what I wanted and shifted himself over me and then lowered down slowly. I let out a moan when his taut body finally molded itself against me. It was both a relief and a demand for something new.
When his mouth found mine, ravenous and consuming, I realized that he liked this just as much as I did. Maybe even more. We wound ourselves together, one of his legs settling between mine. It felt like we were trying to possess each other, each kiss hungrier and deeper than the one before it.
I had found the right key, the right door, and now I was going to be led to the treasure waiting for me.
Then he slowed the kiss, taming it deliberately. As if he meant to calm me down, but somehow his precision and technique only added more fuel to the fire he had built.
You re always in such a rush, he told me, nuzzling his nose against mine. We have all night. You don t know how many times I ve imagined this. I want it to last.
I was so mindless with need that I didn t understand the words the way he was using them.
But first, this has been digging into me, he said. He rolled away and it was like someone had torn my skin off.
Then he was pushing my tunic up and running his hand up my left leg. He leaned over to kiss me and I felt him grin against my lips when his hand came across my sword. He disarmed me and tossed it to the ground.
I trembled, my breath quickening, as his fingers brushed against the bare skin of my inner thigh, undoing the straps there so that he could tug the sheath away and let it fall as well. It felt incredible.
Better, he said, but his fingers were still running along my thigh and I couldn t stop shaking.
He took his hand away and again I wanted to protest but then he was back on top of me and a buzz of pleasure started in my spine, traveling along all of my nerves. I needed something. Something more from him. I didn t know what it was, but these sensations were building inside me, desperate to get out.
It seemed he intended to kiss me slowly but it didn t happen according to his plan. I didn t allow it. I plundered his mouth and he immediately responded.
He broke it off and said, We can wait-
But I interrupted him. I need you to make me forget.
He reached up to softly stroke my face. Forget what?
Forget that tomorrow I will be parted from you.
Then he kissed me the way I wanted, the way I d been aching for. His hands moved like liquid over my body, over my curves, leaving heat in his wake. I pulled him against me, searching for . . . something.
We burned so hotly and brightly together, bigger than even the bonfire in the temple courtyard.
He ground his hips against me, right where I needed him most, and it caused all my other senses to turn off. I couldn t see, hear, taste, or smell anything else-I was consumed by the white-hot spikes of desire he created inside me. I arched up into him. Fire lit up my bones while he continued to move against me.
Now I understood the urge to bite. To devour. To consume. I sank my teeth where his neck met his shoulder and he groaned with pleasure.
I soothed it with my tongue and lips, tasting the saltiness of his skin again. He was undeniably delicious.
You re even better than the wine I had tonight, and that was exquisite. I murmured the words into his strong neck.
He immediately stilled. You were drinking at the festival? Before you came over the wall?
Yes. What did that have to do with anything?
Jason let out a groan of disbelief and rolled onto his back, covering his eyes with his hands. I know what s in that wine! Everyone knows what that wine does to the celebrants. He let his hands drop from his face so that he could look at me. You are not yourself. Your judgment has been impaired.
It has not!
Tomorrow you will wake up with the memory of this and you will hate yourself for what we almost did.
I opened my mouth to tell him that he was wrong, but the words wouldn t come out.
Why were we talking? I didn t want to talk. It didn t matter if I d had some wine. It was unimportant. I was sure I could coax him into kissing me again.
I leaned toward him but he scrambled off the bed and went over to the far corner of the room. You have to go back.
I don t want to leave you.
His voice was raspy and tortured. Go now, before I stop you and convince you to stay.
My heart was both breaking and beating with anticipation. I sat up on the bed, my bare feet making contact with the floor.
Now, Lia. He said my name like it pained him, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking.
I got my sword and sheath and, not able to help myself, took a step toward him.
He shook his head. If you kiss me again, I will take you back to that bed and not let you go. And you don t actually want that.
Jason was rejecting me. Because he thought I couldn t make my own decisions. That I wasn t able to think clearly. I marched over to the door and unlocked it, throwing it open as I went out into the alley.
Anger and humiliation filled every empty space inside me. Which was good because my body was urging me to turn around and take him up on his offer to be trapped in that bed with him. There was no need to climb back over the wall as the party had spread. Fortunately, no one seemed to notice me leaving the house and they were all intent on their celebrating. As I came out of the alley and onto the street, someone handed me a cup of wine, filled to the brim. I took it and drank the entire thing down. Warmth flooded through my veins.
I didn t care what kind of mystery ingredients were in it. Whatever they were, they must have been fast acting because they immediately ate away at my anger, giving the part of me that wanted to turn around and go back a much louder voice.
Only the tiny sliver of pride I had left kept me from doing so. The longer I thought about returning to that little house, the more it seemed like a good idea. To distract myself I looked for my sisters, but it was impossible to find them in this crowd. I knew I should just go back to my room and fall asleep.
It was embarrassing to admit it, but part of me hoped that when I drifted off, I would see my dream Jason, because I wasn t very happy with the real one.
As I pushed my way through the throng of women, I came across Io, who was swaying to the music, a cup of wine in her hand. Her eyes were glassy, her cheeks a bright pink.
Lia! There you are! she exclaimed, rushing over to hug me. Where have you been? Did you enjoy your walk?
I spotted Zalira a bit farther off and she grinned and mouthed the word Jason? I turned from her, not wanting to give anything away. I did not want to relive what had just happened.
The walk didn t turn out the way I thought it would, I told Io.
Your poor hands are so empty. You need a drink! She grabbed one off the tray of a passing attendant and handed it to me.
When she did she asked me, Do you think the goddess has a body that you can touch, or do you think she s made of aether, like the stars?
I can either discuss the transcendent nature of the goddess, or I can have more wine. I can t do both.
Her smile got bigger. Drink!
So I drank quickly again. Another spike of warmth.
She looped her arm through mine. Come and sit with me!
I wanted to sneak off to bed. To put my pillow over my head and let this day be over. But I had the distinct impression that drunk Io would follow me and ask me questions until she squeezed the entire story out of me. It was easier to play along.
As we walked toward a bench, I stumbled a bit. I realized that I was unsteady. Maybe I was drunk now, too. That had been a big cup I d had back there. Not to mention what I d drunk earlier and what I was currently carrying around with me.
I d never been drunk before. It was a strange experience. Both Io and I sat down a bit too hard, misjudging the distance, splashing some of our wine on the ground. She broke out into peals of laughter and I couldn t help but smile back.
Did you see the horses earlier? I love white horses! she exclaimed.
I didn t. I ve decided I m not interested in sacred animals. Which made me think of the terawolves and something began to nag at the back of my mind. It was a phrase Io had said the night we were attacked by those creatures, and I had overlooked it in the heat of the moment.
When I read about them.
Io could read.
How do you know how to read? I asked her.
What? She shrieked the word and then laughed. Why do you think I can read?
Because you said you could. The night of the terawolves.
She glanced up and to the right, as if trying to recall what she d said. I did, didn t I? Shouldn t have done that.
Why not?
She put an unsteady finger to her lips and made a shushing sound. Because it s a secret.
What is?
I ll tell you. My secret, she added on unnecessarily.
I think I know all of your secrets already, I told her.
You don t! she said insistently, shaking her head. Not this. No one knows this. Not Zalira, not Ahyana. Not even Suri.
That was serious. Tell me.
Io looked to our left, then to our right, before leaning in close to me and slurring her words. I m a princess.