CHAPTER SIXTY-THREE
For a moment I thought I had accidentally spoken and revealed my own background, but no, it was definitely Io who had said those words out loud.
A princess? I asked, making certain I d heard correctly.
She nodded. Yes.
Of Ilion? I clarified.
The only one. And I ran away from the palace to join the temple. She sounded pleased with herself.
Why would you do that? I had done the same thing, but for very different reasons. It occurred to me that this was another way Io and I were connected. We were more alike than I d even realized.
I told you. My stepmother wanted to make an arranged marriage for me with an older man. She practically spat the words but somehow still managed to slur them.
Here I d thought Io incapable of keeping a secret, but she d been keeping a huge one from me. From all of us.
You were almost my sister-in-law, I said with a laugh before I took another drink.
Are you related to the old, gross man? she asked, confused.
A part of my brain warned me to hold my tongue, but it only seemed logical that if she shared such a monumental secret with me, I was obligated to do the same. You re not the only one who is a princess. I m a princess, too. And I was betrothed to your brother.
Her mouth dropped open. What? You re Princess Thalia of Locris? You were supposed to marry Xander?
Xander? It must have been a nickname for Alexandros. Regardless, revealing my own secret identity almost seemed like more information than she could handle. Her eyes were so wide, her mouth still agape.
I suppose I can t marry him now, I said before finishing up my wine.
No. You took vows. To us, the temple, and the goddess.
Yes, I did. You re stuck with me.
Her face broke back into the smile I was used to. I m so glad! Her smile faded again. You won t tell our sisters about who I really am, will you?
I won t tell them. I promise. Will you promise that you won t tell them about me, either?
She held a hand over her heart. I swear I won t tell our adelphia.
With a nod I thanked her and put my cup on the ground. I was very tired and needed to use the washroom and then head to bed. I leaned over and gave Io a loud kiss on the forehead. Good night, almost-sister-in-law.
Good night, my fellow princess turned priestess. Well, princess turned acolyte, she amended, giving me a cheery wave.
It took me longer than it should have to find my way back to our dormitory. After I had used the toilet, I went into our room. Kunguru was on the windowsill and he squawked at me but I ignored him. So, so tired.
I climbed into my bed and turned on my side to fall asleep.
My own thoughts from earlier returned to me. Like I d missed something.
Io can read.
If she could read, that meant she could have taken the book. She would have been able to read it herself and personally gone over the content. She had been so upset when I d told her what I d discovered about priestess marriages and their dowries. What if she had wanted to hide the truth? And had destroyed the book to do so?
I couldn t believe that of her, though. She didn t seem the deceptive type.
Demaratus s voice filled my head.
Stupid girl! She cheated to become an acolyte and hid her true identity from everyone!
That was true. And if she was willing to cheat to get what she wanted and lie about her background, she might have been willing to steal to protect something she believed so strongly in.
I woke with a start, having heard a noise coming from the window. I sat up and saw that there was a man on the windowsill, about to jump into our room.
My sword was missing. I frantically fished around under my pillow but it wasn t there. What had I done with it?
Then the man was on the move and he ran over to my bed. I pulled in a deep breath, intending to scream so that I could draw the guard to help me, wake my sisters up.
I told you I would sneak in. Jason s voice immediately calmed me and my shoulders dropped as I relaxed. He sat down next to me on my bed and it took every bit of strength I still had not to throw my arms around him.
I was angry at him for his rejection. I needed to remember that.
Antiope will kill you, I said.
Who?
My battle master. She s a Scythian who- I shook my head. Why was I explaining this to him? You have to go.
Not yet. I think we have some unfinished business.
My traitorous heart leapt with excitement. You re speaking too loud. You re going to wake everyone up.
He glanced over his shoulder. Who?
All my sisters beds were empty. I reached up to my head and felt the long strands of my hair against my fingertips.
Oh. This was another dream. It wasn t real. It was only my fevered imagination bringing Jason here so that we could finish what he d so skillfully started.
This was what I d hoped for when I d gone to bed, but instead of feeling excited, I just felt pathetic.
Go away, I told him. I need to sleep.
He reached for my hand and held it with his own and it had the desired effect. I didn t tell him to leave again. I let him breach my defenses once more.
I d never considered myself weak but I was quickly learning that, when it came to him, that wasn t true.
Why are you here? I asked.
Why are you fighting what exists between us? he asked.
My gaze flew up to his. You know why. Nothing can happen.
Even if the goddess wills it to be so?
You have said that before. She doesn t. Her laws say that we can t be together.
He shrugged one shoulder. It s her magic that connects us.
What do you mean?
This is a dream, he said, looking around the room before his eyes returned to mine. But I m here.
And obviously I m here, I said. What did that have to do with anything?
That beautiful smile of his lit up his face. Yes. You are in your bed and I am in mine but we exist in this space together.
Now I took my hand away from his. What are you saying? That this is real? I m not imagining you, you re actually here?
He nodded.
That can t be, I protested.
It is.
Are you saying that everything that s happened between us has been real? That we have both been here in our dreams the entire time?
Yes.
Images flooded my mind and I put my head in my hands. All the things we did, the words we had exchanged-all of it had actually happened? Everything you ve said to me . . .
I trailed off, not able to complete the sentence.
He laid his hand out flat, offering it to me. Leaving it to be my choice whether I wanted to touch him again. Not able to help myself, I took it. I saw the way the tension left his body when I did so.
I meant everything I ve ever said to you, he told me and my heart froze in place, refusing to beat.
He had all but confessed to being in love with me.
Why didn t you tell me about this earlier? I demanded.
I thought you knew!
This was too bizarre to be a true possibility. Or I m dreaming that you re saying all this to me now. How do I know you re not a figment of my imagination?
He smiled slightly. I don t know. I ve never had to prove my realness before.
His hand squeezed mine gently and I looked at where we were joined, still not quite able to comprehend what was happening.
I have kissed you a thousand times, he said, and would kiss you a thousand more if fate allowed it. When I made you that pledge? I meant every word. You know how I feel, Lia. I have shown you over and over again. I would gladly give up my life to save you.
My heart wanted so badly to believe him but I was still afraid that my desperate mind had conjured this up.
Do you feel the connection between us? he asked in that growly voice that made my insides flutter and shake.
I swallowed back what I was feeling. What connection?
You know what I m speaking of. I ve never had this happen with anyone else before. Like we were fated to be together. Like the goddess herself ordained it. As if you were made for me. I feel so much that whenever I see you, I forget myself and all I want is to touch you and kiss you and let the world fall away.
I wanted the same thing, which was why we should stay away from each other. It doesn t matter. None of this matters. I don t even know if I believe this tale you ve told me.
He lifted my hand up near his face. The next time I see you, I ll kiss your hand. Like this. He pressed his warm mouth against the back of my hand and my fingers tightened in response, wanting to reach for him.
You ve never done that before.
Correct. That is how you ll know that this is real and has been the entire time. He kissed my hand again and then placed it back on the bed. Because I will see you. There will be obstacles in our path, but we are fated. Destined. I know us and what we will be. I know you.
I shook my head. No one really knows me.
But I do. He paused and then asked, How do you feel about me? Do you love me?
I don t know. It was the only answer I could give him. It was also the truth.
My non-answer didn t seem to bother him. I think you do. You might need time before you realize it, but you ll see that we belong together.
I tried very hard not to let his words affect me. He was painting a picture that I wanted desperately to be a part of, even if my plans made it impossible. If all of what you re saying is true, and you re actually here, then what did you mean when you told me to say yes? Were you talking about the festival?
He opened his mouth to respond but he was suddenly gone and I was alone in my dark bedroom.
Jason?
The ground beneath my bed gave way and I was falling. I landed with a thud in a meadow of wildflowers. I spotted him in the far-off distance. I called his name but he didn t move or respond. I ran toward him but I didn t seem to be making any progress. He never got closer, no matter how hard or how long I ran. I couldn t reach him.
The landscape swirled around me and I was back in Locris. But not the Locris I knew. It looked like Ilion. Everything was green. Trees, flowers, plants of every kind, blooming and growing all around me.
I smelled the irises first and then I turned to see the goddess standing not far away from me. Again I was overwhelmed by her love for me, one that went beyond human understanding. She was so beautiful and radiant that for a moment I couldn t speak.
But I wasn t going to let this opportunity pass by.
Is this what s possible? I asked her. Can Locris be restored this way? Will I be the one to save my nation?
There will be a time when you have need of me. When you do, call on my name.
What did that mean? Call on her name? I would just say Damara and she would appear? And what, point me in the direction of the lost eye?
I don t understand, I said, but she vanished by turning into a shimmering golden and green light.
When I awoke for real, I lay in my bed for several minutes, listening to my sisters sleeping around me, contemplating what I had just seen in my dreams.
Call on my name.
I had need of the goddess now. She could tell me precisely where the eye was located.
With my heart clanging in my chest like a bell, I breathed out the word.
Damara.