Chapter Four
The day of the funeral for Avila’s mother. Avila wasn’t ready for the well of emotions working through her as the limo pulled
in front of Our Lady of Czestochowa Cathedral. The December sun shone on her, but it provided little warmth. Avila and Ebony
headed toward the massive church. They were forty-five minutes early, which was a good thing. She didn’t want to rush. Avila
wanted to spend this time telling her mother goodbye.
Once inside, Avila took in her surroundings. The stained-glass windows, marble altar, and mahogany pews evoked memories that
she’d forgotten. She tugged on her pearl necklace and took a deep breath.
“You okay, Mom?”
“As okay as I can be, given the situation. How about you?”
“Same.”
Avila would have to thank Ebony later for not being super upset that she had never met her grandmother until now. She would
also have to ask Ebony for forgiveness. No amount of pride should have caused Avila to keep a grandmother from her grandchild.
If she could turn back the hands of time and make different choices, she would.
They made their way to the front of the church. Avila looked at her mother as she rested peacefully in the casket. She blinked several times, trying to hold back the urge to cry. “Goodbye, Mom,” she said softly. After a few moments, she made her way to the front pew, sitting next to Ebony.
“You okay?”
The deep voice captured her attention, and she glanced up. Terence. Her friend. “You’re here.”
“Of course I’m here. Where else would I be?” He glanced at the empty chair next to her. “Is it okay if I sit next to you?”
“Sure.”
Avila would have to remind herself not to get overemotional today. Although this was her mother’s funeral, she had to hold
it together since she was also in charge of the logistics for today’s Mass. Also, people were bound to wonder where she’d
been all these years, and they were going to ask all about Ebony—and Ebony’s father. She had to brace herself for those questions
too.
Terence made a subtle shift closer to her, and something in her froze. Being next to him brought up a lot. Maybe it wasn’t
a good idea to have him sit next to her during the funeral.
“I know that it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, but I’m here for you and Ebony,” Terence said. “I’m here as a
friend.”
She let the discomfort that instinctively arose within her dissolve. “That means a lot. Thank you.”
“And if you need anything. Tissues. Assistance with anything regarding the funeral, just let me know. I’m here to help.”
Her vision blurred, and her lower lip trembled. “I shouldn’t have been gone for so long. I should’ve seen her. I should’ve...”
Her voice trailed off. Avila was about to say that she should’ve made better choices, but that was done and over with.
Guests trickled into the church and made their way to the pews. The number of people attending the funeral Mass seemed endless. Familiar faces of people whom she hadn’t seen in years arrived. Even her third-grade teacher showed up. A nervousness returned. Many of these people were at last night’s wake, and they asked her a lot of questions, questions about the details of the last twelve years of Avila’s life. She wasn’t the famous Broadway actor that she had set out to be, and now everyone probably wondered why. They’d fill in the blanks with speculation and gossip. The thought of it made her nauseous.
Why’d she think she could hide out while she was here? Their questions were inevitable.
“Avila, you doing okay, baby?”
“Ms. Mable.” Avila stood and hugged her tightly. She was the only person at the wake who didn’t need to inquire about Avila’s
life because she knew every single detail. “I was planning to stop by your house after the wake, but I got so busy.”
“Don’t worry about it, honey chile. I know you have a lot on your plate.” Ms. Mable looked at Terence with a pleased expression.
“I see the two of you have caught up with one another.”
The tone in Ms. Mable’s voice put Avila on edge. “Yes.” Better to keep it short and sweet.
“And looky there. Ebony Houston, looking so pretty and ladylike.”
Ebony beamed. “Thank you, ma’am.”
“Come here and give me some sugar.” Ms. Mable extended her arms and embraced Ebony. “Your mother has been keeping you from
us for way too long. It’s time you meet your people. Although I wish it would’ve been under different circumstances. But you’re
here now, and that’s all that matters.”
The warmth in Ms. Mable’s voice put Avila at ease. “Appreciate that.”
Her eyes didn’t leave Avila and Terence. “Good on you for being here for Avila, Mr. Professor Gaines.”
Terence’s mouth curved into a half-smile.
“Well, I best be going to my seat,” she said, whispering. “If I don’t catch up with you again today, I’ll see you tomorrow,
perhaps?”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ll be sure to stop by,” Avila said.
When they neared the time to begin, the organ played, and her eyes filled with tears. Avila resisted the urge to bawl out
and start crying. If her mother could see her today, what would she think of the decisions she had made?
Her mother would be upset, yes, but would she stay upset? Avila never even gave her mother the chance to form an opinion about
all that Avila had done. That bothered her too. Her mother would probably insist that she return to college, and she’d insist
that she continue with her plans to be a performing artist. Avila would raise her objections, citing that she was a single
mother and so she didn’t have time to take economic gambles.
Then her mother would tell Avila that she was making excuses. She’d say that if she was really serious, she wouldn’t quit.
She’d tell her to get over her fear and keep going with what she’d planned. Perhaps that was also the reason why Avila never
returned home after getting pregnant. She didn’t want to hear her mom talk down to Avila’s fear. She didn’t want to be on
the receiving end of her tough love. It was easier to just quit and do something normal with her life.
Yet the thought of taking that risk while she had a baby to care for scared her. She was responsible for a new life. Ebony’s father refused to be in the picture, and so she didn’t want to take any chances.
“I did the best I could, Ma. I am doing the best I can today,” she said, her voice a whispered prayer. “I hope you can see
me from heaven and understand.”