Chapter 17 #2
I lean heavily on my knees, gasping for air that isn’t there. I am so out of shape. Now might be the time to work on it. I’m seconds away from coughing up a lung.
After a couple of minutes, my breath doesn’t sound as laboured as before and I manage to right myself. To my surprise, Siri still stands next to me, gaze aimed at the heavy snowfall outside. “You’re still here?”
She turns back to me. “Of course I am. Are you okay?”
I don’t think I am. “Yes, sorry about that, I’m a little out of shape.” Understatement of the year.
“No worries, running through snow isn’t easy.” I would almost kiss her for not pointing out the state I’m currently in. “Would you like to freshen up before we go grab something to eat?”
My forehead is damp and I am practically on fire, but I think I’ll manage for now. “No, that’s okay. Eating something sounds perfect to me.”
I don’t know if it’s from the little run, the long morning or the fact that I know there is a lot of food here, but oh my, am I starving.
We walk through the double doors that lead to the restaurant and I freeze. It’s a lot busier than it was this morning. I’m not that surprised, but if I had known, I might have taken Siri’s offer to go to my room for a couple of minutes.
I take the two steps down and follow her on unsteady legs.
Staring at my feet feels safe, but it looks weird to others.
With a confidence I didn’t know I have, I raise my head and look around, only to notice that…
no one is actually watching. Some curious eyes meet mine as I let my gaze roam over the seating area.
They only look for a couple of seconds, probably wondering who the new face is.
But no one is pointing or making nasty comments, no one laughs or calls me names.
A tiny weight falls off my shoulders. Siri waits in line and I halt next to her, taking in the lunch menu.
The meals are again unfamiliar to me, but I order the same thing as Siri. A Caesar salad, whatever that might be. A salad doesn’t sound that bad.
We grab our trays and I follow her, still a bit hesitant. She turns around, noticing my stalling and lowers her voice. “Everything okay? We can eat somewhere else if you’d like?”
She throws me off with her offer, but it’s so tempting to take it. Even though I’ve only met her a couple of hours ago, I know she wouldn’t mind. I look around at the other tables, again noticing how no one is bluntly staring. I shake my head. “That’s okay, I’ll manage.”
Siri takes me in a second longer before she turns and walks towards one of the free tables. I follow her, ready to crawl out of my skin, but I reach the table and keep my eyes on my plate.
I pick up my cutlery and start eating, surprised to find so much taste in the lettuce. I keep my gaze down, my attention fully on the food in front of me.
“You know,” Siri starts after a long moment of silence.
“Some might be curious about who you are. Really, I was too.” I drag my gaze up, seeing only kindness written across her face.
“But no one will ever bully you or make comments. No one. I can promise you that. It’s not like that here at the Academy. We are not like that.”
She stretches out her hand to probably take mine. I know it is to comfort me, but physical contact, even if it’s not with the opposite sex, clenches a fist around my heart. The only one who I was comfortable with touching me every now and then was…
The scent of pine and snow clings faintly to the air, right before Aramis sits down on the chair next to mine. “My apologies for leaving you, I hope Siri here took good care of you?”
She smacks him on the arm. “What kind of question is that? Of course I took good care of her. Do you really think so low of me?” A tinge of hurt flashes through her eyes when she looks at him, but when her ocean blue eyes meet mine, all I see is uncertainty.
“Did I? I mean, I know I might talk a little too fast whenever I explain something, but that’s just because I’m enthusiastic and —"
Now I have the urge to take her hand, but I contain it. “You explained everything perfectly. I couldn’t have wished for a better tutor.”
The light shines in her eyes instantly and she sticks out her tongue to Aramis, who returns the favor.
I eat until I’m close to exploding, which means I only managed to eat half of what I got served. I look at my plate, guilt settling in my stomach at all the food that is going to waste.
“Is something wrong?” Aramis asks, finishing the last of his yoghurt. Siri now takes me in as well. Great.
“No, not really…” They don’t believe me, that much is clear. “Okay fine, it’s just…I still have so much food left, it pains me to throw it away. That’s all.”
They both remain silent, making me feel awkward that I even said what was on my mind in the first place. “Never mind, it’s stupid.”
“It actually really isn’t,” Aramis says while standing up. “May I steal her back from you, Siri?”
“She isn’t anyone’s property you know.” Internally, my mouth drops open. I mean…she does have a point, but I hadn’t interpreted it that way. “But yes, show it to her, it might relieve the guilt that is already settling in her bones.”
I stare at her. How does she...?
She gives me a wink. “If you ever want to go to the greenhouse together, please let me know.”
“I’d like that.”
“Okay! I’ll see you later.”
She waves us goodbye and walks toward the exit of the restaurant.
It’s only when she is completely out of sight I realise I have no idea how I can reach out to her.