Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
It turns out Moonveil Academy has its own no-waste policy, where everything that doesn’t get eaten gets delivered to the ones who need it the most. To the people who are sick and can’t cook their own meal, or the ones who don’t have enough money to buy food.
And as I watch the process of food being put in boxes by volunteers, a warm feeling settles in my chest. There is still good and kindness in this world.
“Of course there is.”
I didn’t even realise I said that out loud. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to —”
Aramis looks down, a thoughtful expression across his face. “You shouldn’t apologise that much. Especially if it’s not necessary.”
I open my mouth to apologise again, but Aramis arches a brow and I close my mouth again. It’s something that happens spontaneously, I can’t really help it.
“Can I help? Preparing the boxes, I mean?”
Wonder flickers in his eyes. “I’ll be right back, milady.”
I roll my eyes at him, but my heart glows. Maybe it’s because I haven’t received much male attention in my life, but Aramis does funny things with my insides.
After a couple of minutes, he returns, holding a complete attire to change into. “Mind if I help you?”
The smile I give him is genuine. “Of course not, I’d love to.”
He takes a step closer. “Is that so?”
My heart skips a beat, stupid organ. “Only if you have nothing better to do.”
Another step closer. “Oh, believe me, this deserves all my attention.” Dear lord. Is this what it feels like to talk to men? I mean, it was kind of like this with Noah, but that was once.
A soft chuckle escapes from Aramis and he creates more distance between us, gesturing for me to follow him.
A kind, middle aged woman named Lucine is responsible for making and delivering the food packages and takes us under her wing.
We store fresh food into boxes, set dates on everything and prepare some small meals. It feels good to help, in whatever way possible. And although he hasn’t said it with that many words, Aramis is enjoying it as much as I do.
After three hours we have run out of things to help with and Lucine thanks us. “You really shouldn’t have, but I am grateful you helped us.”
“It was my pleasure.”
She gives my shoulder a small squeeze, warmth traveling towards my hand. I smile and wave her goodbye, following Aramis through the door.
“How are you feeling?” Aramis asks as we walk towards the grand central hall.
“I’m happy I could help in some way, it felt good.” And although I mean what I say, a deep feeling of sadness slowly rises to the surface.
“But…?”
“Nothing really, I think I’m just a little tired.”
Aramis nods. “Of course, I understand. You’ve only been awake for a couple of hours, it’s normal you still feel drowsy.”
He guides me towards the staircase that leads up to where I suppose the bedrooms are located. “It’s been a while since I did something for myself and enjoyed it. My life hasn’t been that great." And that’s an understatement.
“I promise I will bring back the light in your eyes, Mai. Even if it’s the last thing I do.”
Mai.
Ami called me that, too. The sadness rises, my throat tightens at the thought of my friend who isn’t here anymore. I push it down, but it feels like a dam is about to break and I’m not sure how long I can hold it.
But we’re close to the room I’m assigned to. I can try a little longer. At least until I’m alone. Only then Aramis’ words reach me. I blink at him. “What if I’m a lost cause, unable to overcome the darkness that is my friend?”
Gone is the smile that seems unerasable. “Then I will be your light until you can create your own.”
A crack appears in the dam. Oh, he is making it hard, so very hard. But I won’t cry in front of him. I refuse to, so instead I start walking up the stairs. Running away from what I cannot face right now.
Aramis quickly catches up and we turn on the first level. I suppose it’s where the room I’m staying is situated. He wouldn’t be as forward to lead me to his room, now, would he? I quickly glance at him. He does have the confidence to do so, and the looks as well.
He catches me staring and smirks. “Do you enjoy what you’re seeing?”
Heat burns my cheeks. “What, uh, no, I just —”
He raises a brow. “No? Ouch, Maily, don’t hold back.”
I turn even redder. “No, I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant.”
Aramis halts in front of a door — probably the one that leads to the room I’m staying at. “So you do like what you see?”
I really don’t know how to answer that. I like it a little too much, but I can’t really say that, now can I? Thankfully, he speaks before I blurt out something embarrassing. “I’m just messing with you,” he says, winking at me. He pushes open the door. “This is your room.”
I take a hesitant step forward and look back. “Mine?”
He leans against the doorframe, arms across his chest. “Well, you did sleep here, didn’t you?”
“I think so?”
“So, that means that this room is assigned to you. I mean, if you’re unhappy, you could always ask Mrs Delalune for another one.”
“No! No, that’s not… It’s just…” I walk towards the centre of the room. My room. “I’m not used to this much luxury. Or any luxury for that matter.” I turn back to face him. “This is more than I could’ve dreamed of.”
One corner of his mouth tips up. “I’m happy it’s to your liking, milady.” He bows at the chest, the movement fluent. “I’ll let you settle in. I’ll be back before dinner to pick you up, okay?”
I offer him a thankful smile. “That would be perfect.”
The question that has been burning on my lips rises to the surface right as Aramis turns away. “Wait,” I say and he turns back around. “May I ask something?”
“Of course.”
Here goes nothing. “Do you know why I was brought here?” If my question surprises him, he doesn’t let it show, so I continue. “I don’t feel like I belong, taking lessons as a normal student. I didn’t hurt my friend, but my past isn’t rainbows and sunshine either.”
His eyes grow darker, as if a storm rages in his head, but his response is kind, gentle.
“I’m not sure. I wish I could give you the answers that you seek.
” He moves closer and I don’t have the urge to back away for once.
“You were brought here for a reason, Maily, and you do belong here. I know that and so does Mrs Delalune. I’m sure she will answer your questions. ”
I thought he would say that. He won’t know the answer to my other question either, who killed Ami since I didn’t. My eyes burn with unshed tears.
“Hey, don’t worry,” he reassures, noticing the wetness in my eyes. “I’m sure everything will become clear very soon.”
I plaster on a convincing smile and nod. “Okay.”
“Okay,” he responds, and something flickers in his eyes. Is that…worry? “I’ll see you later?”
I nod and offer a small wave as he walks towards the staircase.
I close the door and lean against it as I slowly lower myself to the ground. The burning feeling in my throat is near painful as I try to keep the tears at bay.
But I have been trying — and succeeding — all day. And I’m so tired. More cracks appear in the dam inside of me. A wretched sound escapes my lips and I slam my hand across my mouth to silence it.
But when a tear cascades down my cheek, traveling across my burning fingers, another one follows. And although I try to stop it, each tear follows faster than the other and I don’t have the energy to hold them back anymore.
The dam inside me breaks. And so do I.