Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
Warm light spills across my eyelids, tugging me gently toward wakefulness. Not used to the sun, I enjoy the feeling a little longer. But my curiosity eventually wins and I open my eyes, not surprised to not see a hint of sunlight filtering through the window.
It takes a minute for me to remember where I am.
My room at Moonveil - which still sounds insane to me - is breathtaking.
Couldn’t have asked for anything more. When I turn my head to the window, I notice that the clouds are a little lighter than what I’m used to, but not a hint of sunlight to be seen.
I sit upright and lift my arms above my head, placing the back of my hand in the palm of the other and pushing upward, enjoying the stretch it gives my aching muscles.
Aramis didn’t come back for dinner last night. Or…maybe he did, but I escaped too deep into sleep and didn’t notice him. I wasn’t hungry then, but now? I’m ravenous.
I throw the covers away and walk towards the bathroom when I see a small piece of paper lying in front of the door. Nerves make my stomach turn. Who would send me a note already? I pick up the paper and unfold it, immediately recognising the handwriting.
Heard you want to get into training. Pretty badass. Wear something you can move easily in.
Aramis
Mrs Delalune actually kept her word. I don’t know why that surprises me. Maybe because I’ve heard a lot of promises, but they never kept their word. A smile tugs at the corners of my lips. Although it makes me a little nervous, I also can’t wait to begin training.
I head into the bathroom to take care of my necessities, then walk towards the closet to see if there’s anything in there that looks remotely suitable for training.
On one of the left-handed shelves lay three tight leggings in a stretchy material with the T-shirts and bras in the same colour next to it.
I decide to go with the forest green set and grab an oversized black sweater as well.
Black sneakers stand at the bottom of the closet, exactly my size and I finally grab a pair of white socks.
I don’t know where all these clothes come from or who they belong to, but I can’t take all of this for free. Even if they are hand-me-downs, which I don’t think they are based on the impeccable state they are in.
I tie the shoes and walk out of the room, trying to remember the route to the cafeteria.
I wasn’t really expecting Aramis to wait outside my door, but it would’ve been good for my anxiety.
Walking through these unfamiliar halls by myself is a little scary to say the least. Everyone is probably still asleep, so I gather my courage and walk towards the staircase.
My teeth worry my lip as I reach the bottom of the stairs, afraid I will have to ask someone where the restaurant is. But when I take in the grand open hall in front of me, I catch sight of the familiar doors that lead towards it.
The hall is empty, safe for a few wandering souls, but I keep my eyes strained on the double doors, push them open once I reach them and walk inside.
The restaurant is nearly empty and I breathe a little easier again. It really must be early in the morning then, but it makes it so much easier to spot Aramis who gives me a little wave as he sees me searching.
I order scrambled eggs on toast and some yoghurt with fruit on the side, remembering I enjoyed that yesterday. It’s ready in a couple of minutes and I make my way over to Aramis.
“Good morning. I was about to pick you up, but you beat me to it. I’ll keep that in mind. Did you sleep well?”
So he was coming for me. Huh, I wasn't expecting that. But it shouldn’t surprise me based on how he treated me yesterday. I think about his question for a moment. To my surprise, I do feel rested. “Yes, thank you. And you?”
He stops chewing and blinks a few times before answering. “I’ve had better nights, but it’s fine. Nothing a good breakfast can’t fix.” He takes a sip of what I presume is orange juice before speaking again. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up. I really thought you were going to sleep in.”
I bite into the toast, the fluffy eggs melting away on my tongue and I nearly moan again. But I can contain it, barely. “No need to worry, I found it, didn’t I?”
“You did.” Aramis observes me with a look I can’t quite decipher. Unsure of what to do or say, I continue eating, amazed by how delicious everything tastes, the full flavours dance around my tongue.
When his eyes roam across my face for the tenth time in equally as many minutes, I can’t hold it in anymore. I put down my fork and wait until our gazes meet. “Is everything alright?”
“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”
I’m not imagining things, am I? “You’re staring at me as if I have this horrible disease I’ll never heal from.”
He breaks eye contact first and looks down at his hands resting on the table in front of him. “I’m sorry, Mai, I am just worried, that is all.”
An uneasy feeling settles in my stomach. “Worried? About what?”
He laughs, but it lacks joy. “You, of course.”
Me? I frown, unsure of how to respond. Deciding it might be good to fake confidence I don’t have, I tilt my head a little to the side as I saw Ami do many times before and put up a convincing, teasing smile.
“Have I already gotten under your skin?”
His eyes go wide, one of his fingers draws slow circles on the table, refusing to look at me. “You have no idea.”
My smile falters. “I’m joking.”
He looks up again, all serious now. “I am not.”
I swallow, although there isn’t anything to swallow away, my throat is completely dry. “I’m…I’m sorry Aramis, I didn’t —”
“No, please don’t apologise, it’s just…” He sighs heavily, searching for the right words to say. “When I left you last night, I thought you were fine. I know the first day can be scary, but it seemed as if you were having fun.”
“I was, I really was.”
He smiles, although it isn’t the smile I got to see yesterday just yet.
“I’m happy to hear that.” His smile falters.
“I came back an hour later, just to see if you wanted to grab something to eat, but I heard you crying. I knocked, but you didn’t hear me, or maybe you wanted to be alone, which is fine of course. ”
Oh. I do not like where this is going. I do not want to relive last night. “Aramis…”
He doesn’t hear me. “I decided it might be a good idea to come back later, give you some time to let your emotions out without a stranger barging in. So I did, that’s when I heard you screaming.”
Another sigh leaves his lips and I want to reach out a hand to comfort him.
I don’t. It’s against my nature to do so.
“I know we’ve only met yesterday, but I felt your pain, Maily.
Really felt it, and it took everything in me not to open the door and try to cheer you up or hurt the one who caused you so much pain. ”
He has no idea what his words do to me. My emotions rise again and I bite the inside of my cheek, trying to distract myself from what is coiling inside of me.
His jaw tightens and he looks towards the large windows on his right, as if his emotions make it hard to speak as well.
“I decided the only thing I could do, the only thing that felt right, was to stay with you while you went through your personal hell. I sat outside your door and waited, waited until the screaming stopped.”
Time moved weirdly yesterday, but I know my voice was gone when I was…me again. It was light outside when I entered my room, but pitch black when Aramis put me to bed. It must mean he was out there for…hours?
“Enver, a friend of mine, came by,” he continues.
“I begged him to get Mrs Delalune. I didn’t want to leave you all by yourself, maybe I should’ve, I don’t know.
” He runs a hand through his golden waves.
Gone is the confident male I met yesterday.
His gaze finds mine and what I see is raw, real emotion.
My breath catches in my throat. “She arrived mere minutes later, right when your scream started to fade. I nearly tore the door of its hinges, fuck the consequences. Even if you’d hate me for it. ”
“I could never hate you,” I say without hesitation. And although it surprises me, I mean every single word of it.
Something shifts in his expression. “I’m not so sure about that.”
Aramis is more than good looks and kindness. His soul is genuine and his heart is in the right place. I don’t deserve it, none of it, but he is truly concerned for my wellbeing. It’s so unexpected, I’ve never had this before, only with Ami. “But…we’ve just met?”
He lets out a soft breath, it sounds like a laugh, but there is no amusement to be seen on his handsome face.
“Believe me, I know. I don’t fully comprehend it either, but what I do know is that I felt your pain as if it was my own, it cut through me like a knife.
I wanted…no, needed to help you, but I didn’t know how. ”
Without giving it a second thought, I reach out my hand to cover his, noticing how cool his skin feels against my burning fingers.
A tingling sensation travels up my arm and surprise lights up Aramis' eyes for a second.
“But you did help me, Aramis. I had drifted far away, but somehow you brought me back. You broke through my haze. Back at my previous residency,” I say, steadying my breath as I talk.
“There was someone who would pull me through my darkest moments, just like you did. You remind me of her in some way. I needed her at times like these and…I guess I needed you too yesterday. Thank you for that.”
A slight blush colours his cheeks and for a moment he is too stunned to speak. But he recovers quickly and carefully squeezes my fingertips. “How are you feeling today?”
“There is still a gaping wound in my chest and I’m not sure if I will ever properly heal from it. But Ami wouldn’t want me to shut down, she’d want me to live life for the both of us. To explore what else is out there and have fun whilst doing so.”
His smile wavers for a second, but kicks up in full force instantly. My heart makes a little loop at the sight of it.
“That sounds like a great idea.”
I smile back, feeling my cheeks burn a little. Only then do I notice we're still holding hands. I clear my throat and slowly let go, as if my body doesn’t want to release the one who anchored me. “Now, I’m sure my scrambled eggs will taste fine cold, but I think I prefer them while they are warm.”
He laughs, breaking any lingering tension and continuous eating himself. “Yeah, you better eat as much as you can. You will need the energy.”
I raise a brow. “It’s a self-defence class, the basics, I assume. How hard can it be?”
He stops mid-chew, staring at me as if I just declared I can fly. “You’re going to regret saying that.”
I pick up the napkin and clean my mouth. “What do you mean?”
The grin he gives me is one of pure mischief. “Oh, you’ll find out soon enough.”
He winks and eats the last of his oatmeal. It can’t be that bad, now, can it? It’s not like they will let me fight immediately. Or…that’s what I’m hoping for.
Only once Aramis is done eating, I notice I actually managed to finish everything I asked for. It might be because I didn’t eat anything last night. And all of the crying I did can be draining too.
“Are you ready?” Aramis asks, standing up and holding both our trays.
I rise from the chair and I can’t help but feel confident. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
Let’s see how long it lasts.