Chapter 23 #3
Arabella was stony. Releasing a short breath through her nostrils, she warmed the milk, muttering to herself as Sonya sat down on the bench by the center table. Arabella brought the milk, setting the mug down with a clink. She wiped her hands at the end of her apron, not looking at Sonya.
‘You won’t say anything?’ Sonya asked, glancing up at her.
Arabella let out a frustrated sound. ‘What were you thinking?’ she scolded, brown eyes ablaze. ‘Going off like that! We were worried sick!’
So Arabella was angry with her, too. Tears pricked Sonya’s eyes, and before she could stop them, they fell down her cheeks. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, chin trembling.
‘Oh.’ Arabella’s anger melted in an instant, like butter on a hot pan, and she came to sit beside Sonya, pulling her into her side.
Sonya inhaled her comforting scent of dough. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said again.
‘Sweetheart, it’s alright. Hush now.’ Arabella rubbed Sonya’s arms. ‘Come, drink your milk before it gets cold.’
Sonya did, wiping her cheeks. It made her feel a bit better, the way it always did.
But Arabella reminded Sonya so much of Kiri, her heart squeezed painfully.
‘I’m just glad you’re safe,’ Arabella said. She looked Sonya over. ‘You do look different, though.’
‘The hair, I know,’ Sonya said, touching the ends. ‘And Celeste says I’ve gained weight.’
At the mention of Celeste, Arabella made a face. ‘Never mind her,’ she said, with a roll of her eyes. ‘You have gained weight, but that isn’t a bad thing. You look healthier, brighter. Like the clouds giving way to reveal a perfectly clear night for the stars to shine.’
Sonya smiled, feeling soothed.
‘Where were you?’ Arabella asked. Sonya explained she had been in the Outskirts with a family who took her in. ‘I was happy, Arabella. Really, really happy.’
She couldn’t bear to speak about Azam. It was still too soon. It didn’t feel real. Was it just yesterday that they had … Her chest ached. She couldn’t bear to think of how much had changed in one night.
Instead, Sonya asked Arabella how things were at the castle while she was gone.
Arabella called in the other cooks to get back to work preparing dinner, and Sonya stood with her by the stove as the two chatted, catching up.
Sonya could speak about everyone but Azam, and Arabella must have sensed there was some important factor Sonya was leaving out, but she didn’t push.
Then, Arabella needed to focus on dinner, so Sonya went back to her rooms alone.
They were so big and empty and lifeless, such a stark contrast to her time in the Outskirts.
She lay down on her bed, holding her hands against her heart, feeling it beating beneath her palms. She missed everything fiercely—the cottage, the walk to the market, everyone she had met—and her heart broke even further.
How could she live like this? She had never known she could feel such pain, but such was the price of the joy she had felt, she supposed.
In the evening, Sonya dressed again and went down to dinner. When she entered, the dining hall was quiet and hushed, her father and brothers already at their seats. Sonya sat, and different courses were brought out, one after the other.
Sonya had gotten so used to helping with dinner that it felt strange now to sit and be served. And while the food was delicious, she missed the loud and chaotic dinners at the cottage. She missed everything.
Sonya looked at her father. He looked the way he always did, like a king. But she wanted to know more.
‘How did you and Mama meet?’ she asked.
The scraping of utensils against plates silenced. Her father was taken aback, his dark eyes widening. Even her brothers all paused, gaping at her. No one brought up the subject of Queen Zoya, but Sonya was tired of not asking. She wanted to know.
And perhaps things would not change unless she changed them.
Her father cleared his throat, then took a sip from his crystal goblet. He continued eating his dinner, as if he had not heard her.
‘Baba,’ she said. ‘How did you and Mama meet?’
Her father knit his brows. ‘Sonya, what has gotten into you?’ he asked, flabbergasted.
‘I want to know my mother,’ Sonya replied calmly, though her heart was beating fast. ‘I did not get to know her when she was alive, but I do not see why that means I cannot know her at all.’
The king’s expression flickered with pain, and guilt tore through her.
‘They met at a duke’s ball in Granger,’ Shahmir answered quietly. He had been nine when the queen died. ‘Baba asked her to dance, and even though her dance card was full, she—’
‘Enough!’ the king snapped, squeezing his eyes shut. Sonya startled. She hardly ever heard her father raise his voice.
Shahmir fell silent, frowning. They ate the rest of dinner in silence, and then she went back to her room, where the maids undressed her. She was just heading to bed when Celeste entered.
‘You will be up early tomorrow for fittings for your gowns for the tourney,’ Celeste said, peering at her from behind her tiny glasses.
‘After your fittings, you will have dance lessons. The suitors will be arriving throughout the day, then the ball begins at six o’clock sharp.
Azam will have to work quickly on your dress, but he’ll have to manage.
Of course, you were meant to be having fittings and dance lessons all month,’ Celeste muttered, but Sonya barely heard.
She went completely still, blood roaring in her ears. ‘Azam?’ she asked. She resisted the urge to add: ‘My Azam?’
Celeste looked at her like she was tedious. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Your new tailor.’
Sonya was shocked. ‘Why him? What about my old tailor?’
Celeste sighed. ‘Azam has been promoted to your dressmaker,’ she said. ‘It is his reward for finding you. Honestly, Your Royal Highness, do try and keep up.’
What had Azam said? He had been waiting for a promotion.
Well, it seemed like he had finally gotten it.
Celeste left, leaving Sonya reeling.
So that was why he did it. She found she couldn’t even be angry with him. She was happy for his achievement, especially because it meant he would have more money to take care of Dania and Kiri. As a royal tailor, he would make quite a pretty penny.
He could even take a vacation, take Dania to Seaview like he dreamed. Her chest tightened, and she held both of her hands over her heart. Tears blurred her eyes, hot as they rolled down her cheeks.
She was happy for him—even if his success came at the cost of her heart.