Chapter 28
Sonya was sick. Everything was canceled and a team of doctors was called in. She was fussed over and fed lots of soup, but her condition did not improve for the entire day. If anything, it seemed to get worse.
She thought of the last time she was sick, at the cottage, how Azam had fretted over her, bringing pillows and blankets. Dania sitting with her by the fire. Kiri bringing tea. Winnie with her mother’s dumpling soup and a Mirabel Summer book.
She missed all of them in a way that physically hurt. She missed Caden and Butterscotch and Enzo, too, and every other person she had met in the Outskirts.
She flitted in and out of sleep, feverish and tired.
Elspeth stayed with her that night. On hearing a noise outside her door, Elspeth went to see what it was. A moment later, she was by her side again.
‘There’s somebody here to see you,’ Elspeth whispered.
When Sonya opened her eyes, Azam was there. He had his sketchbook.
Elspeth left them alone, clearing out the other maids as well. Sonya was too tired to move. She could barely keep her eyes open, though she was desperate to see him.
‘Am I dreaming?’ she asked.
‘No, chanda,’ he replied, taking her hand. Her eyes widened at the term of endearment, at the softness in his eyes as he sat down beside her.
‘The dress was only an excuse,’ he told her, voice quiet. ‘Really, I just wanted to see you. Are you feeling any better?’
She shook her head. He touched a hand to her forehead, frowning. Her hair was matted with sweat, but she was so cold.
‘Will you tell me a story?’ she asked. She thought of the story he had told her in Oakdale, the one she had fallen asleep to before hearing the ending.
Azam looked sad. ‘I don’t know any stories,’ he replied. She closed her eyes, her lower lip trembling. ‘But I can read you one.’ He stood and went to her bookshelves. ‘Mirabel Summer is your favorite, isn’t she?’
Sonya nodded, and he came back to sit by her legs.
He read aloud to her, and she listened, comforted by the familiar story and the sound of his voice.
She never wanted to stop hearing his voice.
She had longed for it all these days, when he hadn’t been speaking to her.
She couldn’t tell which scenario was worse. Either way, it hurt.
After some time, she couldn’t stay awake any longer, and her eyes drooped closed. Azam stopped reading, closing the book and setting it on her bedside table. He leaned forward and kissed her cheek.
‘Get some rest,’ he said.
As he turned to leave, she grasped his hand, stopping him. She opened her eyes as he glanced back, lips pressed together as if he was trying to stop himself from crying.
‘It can’t work?’ she whispered. She meant he and her, and he knew it immediately.
‘You’re a princess,’ he said, voice quiet. ‘I’m … nobody.’
And she suddenly understood why he had kept himself away from her—why he had deprived her of him.
But it wasn’t fair. Not one bit.
She had never made him feel that way. How could he say that?
She was too tired to argue. She closed her eyes, turning her cheek. When she managed to open her eyes again, he was gone.
Sonya was still sick two days later, and none of the royal doctors knew what to do with her. Nothing they did was working; she could hardly move.
Then, around noon, Shahmir came to see her, his eyes bright. ‘I’ve called in a friend to check on you,’ he said, brushing back her hair. ‘You’ll be right as rain in no time.’
‘Which friend?’ she asked. Of course, Shahmir had many friends from all over the kingdom.
‘An old friend from school,’ he replied. ‘We’re lucky he and his wife were in Castletown on business. They live all the way in Old Town.’
Sonya nodded, and Shahmir touched a hand to her cheek. ‘You’ll get better, I know you will,’ he said.
He left her. There was only a week until her wedding now, and she was meant to be making her choice, but she was sick, so nobody was pushing. They all just wanted her to get better.
A little while later, Sonya heard bickering outside of her room.
‘How do you know the prince again?’ a girl’s voice was asking. She had a provincial accent.
‘Didn’t I tell you?’ This was a man’s voice. His accent was posher. ‘We went to school together.’
The girl made an irritated sound, scoffing. ‘Of course you went to school with the crown prince. You’re utterly absurd.’
‘I don’t see what about that can be considered absurd, Bisma.’
‘Hush,’ she scolded, and then the doors opened and Elspeth brought a couple forward.
‘Mr. Xander and Mrs. Bisma Chapman, Your Royal Highness.’
Sonya looked up to see a girl with brown skin and dark hair.
There was a rope of scented, white motia flowers around her long braid, and she wore an emerald-green dress.
Beside her was a man with eyes the same shade of green as well as copper-colored hair, which added a few inches to his already tall height.
He wore a gray outfit and took off his top hat as he and his wife bowed their heads.
‘Are you Shahmir’s friend?’ Sonya asked.
‘Yes, I’m Xander,’ he said, giving her a dazzling smile. ‘And this is my darling, dearest wife, Bisma. I brought her along because she is much smarter than I am, so she’s sure to find out what’s wrong with you, while I look dashingly handsome on the side.’
Bisma gave her husband a pointed look, pinching his side. He let out a squeal.
‘Ignore him,’ Bisma said. ‘He enjoys being ridiculous.’
Xander smiled. ‘Don’t worry,’ he told Sonya with a cheeky smile. ‘She enjoys it, too.’
‘Please!’ she hissed, exasperated. ‘At least pretend to be professional.’ But Sonya saw how her cheeks turned pink.
‘Hello, Your Royal Highness,’ Bisma said, taking a step forward. She had a strong but kind exterior, the way Sonya imagined an older sister would. ‘I am a garden-witch, like Xander. We studied together in Whitebridge and have our own apothecary shop there. Would you like to tell me what’s wrong?’
She was the first one who had asked. The other doctors had inspected her and prodded her, but none of them had asked her what was wrong. Bisma was clearly practiced, and she was so gentle that all of a sudden, tears sprang into Sonya’s eyes.
‘Dear me,’ Xander said, eyes widening. Bisma glanced at Xander, and he gave Sonya a kind smile. ‘I’ll take that as my cue to go. Don’t worry,’ he said. ‘Bisma is the best there is.’
He left, leaving the girls alone. Bisma reached for Sonya’s hand. ‘Would you like to tell me?’ she asked. ‘I think I have an idea, already.’
‘Is it so obvious?’ Sonya asked, sounding absolutely miserable.
Bisma’s lips twitched. ‘I have more sisters than I can count. I know a thing or two about afflictions of the heart.’
Tears fell from Sonya’s eyes. ‘Is it possible to die from a broken heart?’
Bisma frowned. ‘It is, but you won’t,’ she said. ‘We will fix this.’
‘How?’ Sonya asked.
‘Why don’t you start from the beginning?’
Sonya told Bisma everything, about falling in love with Azam, his betrayal, and then his distant behavior ever since she arrived at the castle. ‘He won’t speak to me,’ she said. ‘I know he cares for me still, but if he won’t speak to me, how will anything be salvaged?’
Bisma released a sigh. ‘Love is difficult,’ she said. ‘I won’t pretend like it isn’t. And sometimes love must be tested before it can be true. Do not let difficulty deter you.’
Sonya sighed. ‘Perhaps I am meant to marry one of the suitors. It seems as though that is what Azam wants for me. But how can I marry any of them?’
Bisma touched the gold band on her left hand; it was shaped like vines and held an emerald in the center.
‘You can’t marry anyone unless you love them wholeheartedly,’ Bisma said.
‘Do you love Xander wholeheartedly?’ Sonya asked.
Bisma smiled, pure and genuine. ‘I do. He is ridiculous and he drives me mad, but I love him as dearly as I love anything or anyone. He is the very best person I know.’ Her voice dropped.
‘But don’t tell him I said that. Lord knows his head is big enough already.
’ That made Sonya smile. Bisma squeezed her hand.
‘I’m going to make you a potion and I’ll leave it with your maid.
Drink it, and you should start feeling better by the evening. So long as you do not give up.’
Sonya nodded. She did not want to give up, and she wouldn’t. She was strong.
Bisma took her leave then, and while it was nice speaking with her, Sonya desperately missed Winnie. She hadn’t received a response to the letter she had sent her, nor to the one she had sent Kiri. Perhaps Kiri was angry with her for not telling her the truth, but why hadn’t Winnie replied?
Before Sonya could think on the matter further, she dozed off, tired from talking with Bisma.
She woke a little while later when Elspeth brought up the potion Bisma had made for her.
It was bright pink and tasted like raspberries.
After she drank it, she fell asleep immediately and didn’t stir until evening.
When Sonya woke, she felt revitalized. She had the maids draw her a bath, and after having her hair washed and putting on fresh clothes, she felt much better. She wrote a letter of thanks to Bisma, and that reminded her about the letter she had sent Winnie.
She spoke with Irfan, asking him if any response had arrived, and he promised to look into it. After dinner, he came by her room, holding up two letters.
‘Are those for me?’ she asked, gasping. She went to him by the doorway.
Irfan nodded. ‘Celeste had them. She claimed that she had forgotten to give them to you, but I suspect she may have held on to them on purpose.’
Sonya’s face broke, anger bursting through her, and Irfan squeezed her shoulder. ‘Don’t fret. It won’t happen again, I’ll make sure of it.’
Sonya nodded. She took the letters from Irfan, but before she could read the already opened letter, Elspeth appeared from the hallway.
‘Your Royal Highness, let’s take a walk down to the kitchens,’ Elspeth said. ‘I think the fresh air will do you good.’
Sonya furrowed her brow. If she needed fresh air, she had a balcony. She glanced at Irfan, smiling at him, and he left. Sonya took a step toward Elspeth.
‘Now? But—’ Sonya started, but something on Elspeth’s face made her pause.
There was something afoot. She nodded, putting the letters in her pocket before following Elspeth down to the kitchens. While she was feeling better, she was still weak, and the walk had her breathless.
‘Elspeth, what is it?’ Sonya asked, voice low.
‘You’ll see,’ Elspeth whispered back. Sonya’s heartbeat quickened. Was it Azam waiting for her in the kitchens? Or had something happened to Arabella?
‘Elspeth?’ Sonya said, but they made it down to the kitchen. Arabella was perfectly fine, sitting and eating her dinner.
‘Out in the garden,’ Elspeth said, nudging Sonya’s back. She stayed in the kitchen, letting Sonya go on her own. She gasped when she realized who was waiting for her.
‘Winnie!’ Sonya cried, rushing to hug her friend. ‘You’re here! You’re really here.’ A sob rose in her throat, and she quickly blinked away her tears.
‘We were worried sick,’ Winnie said, pulling back, and she wasn’t the only one there.
‘Enzo!’ Sonya cried, hugging him as well.
Winnie and Enzo both looked concerned.
‘God, you look awful,’ Winnie said, looking Sonya over. ‘When I heard you were sick, I couldn’t wait for your reply any longer. I knew I had to see you.’
‘Are they hurting you?’ Enzo asked, voice on edge. ‘Are you alright?’
She was touched by their concern and so happy to see them that she let out a laugh. Winnie and Enzo exchanged a glance, their concern deepening.
‘Sonya, if you say the word, we can run,’ Enzo said, lowering his voice. ‘We don’t have to go to the Outskirts, we can take you anywhere. Whatever you want.’
Sonya was surprised. ‘You’d do that?’ she asked.
Enzo didn’t hesitate. ‘Of course. We’re your friends.’
Winnie looked up at Enzo, eyes wide with wonder and …was that fondness?
‘We’ll do whatever we need to keep you safe,’ Winnie agreed.
Sonya smiled, looking between them. ‘Since when do you two agree on anything?’
Winnie and Enzo seemed to have reached some sort of peace working together to get to her.
She reached for both of their hands, squeezing.
‘I’m alright,’ she said, giving them a weak smile.
‘I truly have been sick for the past few days, but I’m doing better now.
A garden-witch made me a potion, and I suspect I’ll be back to perfect health tomorrow. ’
‘You look horrid,’ Winnie said, unconvinced. ‘Why didn’t you reply to my letter?’
‘I’m sorry—my father’s advisor kept it from me. I only received it a moment ago. I haven’t even had the chance to read it yet.’ Sonya sighed. ‘How is everyone?’ she asked. ‘How is Dania? And Kiri?’
‘They miss you. We all do,’ Winnie replied. She glanced at Enzo, biting her lip.
‘Azam is miserable without you,’ Enzo said. Sonya’s chest tightened painfully.
‘I love him,’ she said, an edge entering her tone. ‘It is he who does not love me.’
Enzo and Winnie looked confused.
‘That’s not possible,’ Enzo said. ‘He loves you as surely as his heart beats.’
‘I cannot think of anything more obvious than the fact that he loves you, Sonya,’ Winnie agreed.
‘Then why won’t he speak to me?’ Sonya asked hotly. ‘He keeps himself away.’ She shook her head. ‘He acts so formal and withdrawn, he won’t even look at me. It’s as if he’s cut me from himself and left me stranded.’
Winnie nibbled on her lower lip. ‘You are a princess,’ she said. Sonya frowned. ‘I’m not trying to make excuses for him, but you royals don’t understand what it’s like for us commoners. We’re taught that you’re above us, untouchable. Perhaps he thinks he isn’t worthy.’
‘And not only that, but knowing Azam, I am sure he is trying to do the honorable thing by letting you go,’ Enzo added.
There was no point at guessing. She needed to speak with Azam directly.
She would speak with him. Even if for the last time.