Chapter 29
After having tea and scones with Winnie and Enzo, Sonya went back to her room. By then, she was so tired she didn’t have the strength to do anything but immediately go to sleep after taking another dose of Bisma’s potion.
She slept like a log through the night, and when she woke in the morning, she felt perfectly well. After freshening up, she felt ready to tackle the day.
That was when she remembered the letters in her pocket. She was just about to look for them, but of course, Elspeth had already emptied the pockets and put the letters on her bedside table.
Sonya reached for them, reading Winnie’s first, which primarily asked Sonya if she was alright and if she needed rescuing.
Then, Sonya read the letter from Kiri, her heart pounding. She hoped Kiri wasn’t too angry. But when she read, she found the very opposite.
Sonya blinked, sitting up in bed to reread the letter again.
Darling Sonya,
You need not apologize for keeping your identity a secret.
I understand! I hope only that you are safe and happy where you are now, and I am so thankful for the time we had together.
I wish, also, to apologize and hope you are not too cross with me.
It was I who foolishly and unwittingly told the soldiers where to find you and Azam.
When the soldiers arrived at the cottage asking for Azam, I told them he was attending Lady Ximena’s wedding at her country estate in Oakdale.
I thought perhaps there had been an emergency with the royal tailor, or some other issue they needed to speak to Azam about urgently.
If I had known telling them such information would lead to you ending back where you had escaped from, I would have never done it.
Please forgive me. We love and miss you dearly. I hope we can meet again, someday.
Until then, you have all my love and good wishes, and Dania’s as well.
Sonya’s heart raced as the words sank in. Azam had never betrayed her. He hadn’t led the soldiers to her.
She needed to speak to him. Immediately.
‘Elspeth!’ Sonya called, and her maid came to her bedside.
‘What is it?’ she asked.
‘Call the tailor, please.’
With a nod, Elspeth went to call for him. He arrived shortly thereafter, before she’d even had a chance to change.
‘Azam,’ she said, surprised. Not only by how quickly he’d arrived, but by his appearance. He was in his ordinary clothes, his hair tousled.
‘I was just on my way to you,’ he said, and she realized why when she saw the package in his hands. He had her wedding dress.
Of course. The wedding was in just a few days. She hadn’t even finalized a design, but he must have gone ahead with one of his sketches, anyway.
Sonya blinked. She glanced at Elspeth, who nodded. Elspeth cleared out the room until it was just Sonya and Azam left. She was standing in front of her bed, barefoot and in her nightgown. She didn’t know where to begin.
‘Would you like to see it?’ Azam asked. She nodded, and he brought it to her, laying the package on the bed. She watched as he unwrapped it, gasping as he held the dress up.
‘It’s …’ She was at a loss for words.
It was perfect, exactly what she would have wanted. There was no tulle or big skirt or bustle. It was simple and romantic and girlish. There was something almost familiar about it.
Then she saw the dupatta: the fabric was baby pink, like the dress, with pearl work on it. It was her mother’s veil, and she realized now that the dress had been made to match.
‘Is this—?’ she asked, stunned.
‘Your mother’s? Yes. I made the dress around it. You mentioned once you loved pearl work because of your mother’s bridal dress, so I found portraits from your parents’ wedding and used that for inspiration,’ Azam explained.
She was astounded. ‘How? Baba doesn’t even let us see those.’
Azam gave her a small smile. ‘It was a bit difficult, but I managed. You were right, the other day. Those sketches were awful, and so were the dresses I made for the tourney. They weren’t you.
’ He broke off, running a hand through his hair.
His voice was low when he spoke again. ‘I wanted your wedding dress to be perfect.’
And it was perfect—but what did that matter?
‘Azam,’ she started.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said at the same time.
He gazed into her eyes and she saw how earnest he was. ‘I’ve been terrible to you, I know I have. It’s why I’m leaving. This was the last dress I’ll make for you.’
She blinked, shocked. ‘You can’t go,’ she said.
He touched her cheek, his touch feather-soft. He looked tortured, but still he gave her a soft smile. ‘Chanda, I must.’
She wouldn’t accept that. ‘Why didn’t you tell me it wasn’t you who led the soldiers to me at Ximena’s wedding?’ He blinked, shocked. ‘Kiri wrote to me, she told me. Why did you let me think it was you?’
His lower lip trembled. ‘I thought it would be easier,’ he said, voice hoarse.
‘I didn’t wish to complicate things. It felt like a dream, the time I had with you.
Everything was so perfect, in a way that I didn’t dare let myself hope my life ever would be again.
You, the shop … When it all came crashing down, I was reminded of my place, reminded not to dream and reach for things that weren’t meant for me. ’
‘Why didn’t you turn me in?’ she asked. ‘You had every opportunity. Why didn’t you?’
‘Because I love you, Sonya,’ he said. Her breathing hitched. ‘I would have never turned you in. I would have kept you with me my entire life, if I could have.’
Tears welled in her eyes. ‘Why don’t you then?’ she asked. ‘You can have me, you can have me forever.’
He shook his head. ‘But I can’t,’ he said.
‘It was why I tried to stay away. You’re a princess, and I’ve watched you with your brothers and your father.
You love them. I won’t be the reason you are far from them.
I know royals cannot marry commoners, not without giving up their titles, and I won’t make you choose.
So I’m taking myself out of the equation. ’
‘What about me?’ she asked. ‘What about what I want?’
He stilled, not quite believing what she was saying. ‘You don’t mean that,’ he said, with disbelief on his face.
‘But I do,’ she said. ‘I mean it. My title means nothing to me. I don’t want to be a princess, I just want you.’ She let out a teary laugh. ‘Azam, we get to decide our place,’ she said. ‘If you want me, then reach for me. You’ll find me reaching back. I love you, too.’
His eyes filled with tears. ‘I never dared hope …’ He stepped toward her, grasping her hands.
He brought her lips to his and kissed her, and she held on to him, kissing him back. The kiss was desperate and hungry at first to make up for lost time, but then slow and sweet as they realized they had all the time in the world, a whole lifetime full.
Everything was perfect and wonderful.
Until she drew back, catching her breath. ‘Now to tell my father.’