Chapter 29 Life in a Pack
twenty-nine
Life in a Pack
*GWENDOLYN*
The next morning, Aurelia picks me up for some girl talk while Felix leaves to help his father with something.
He is trying to take over more jobs and responsibilities in the pack.
He still isn’t sure about what to take a class for, but he either wants to do something with IT or learn to become a mechanic.
“Do you have a new family member?” Aurelia asks when gazing through the terrace door to the garden. My alpaca is standing there, currently chewing on some grass.
“She joined last night,” I explain. “Her name is Al-Pac.”
“Oh, it’s a female alpaca? How could you tell?”
“It might sound weird, but I just know.”
“You are so interesting, Gwen,” Aurelia says. “Everything about you is intriguing.”
“Are you serious? I feel like I am actually quite bland. Dry, you know?”
“Eh, I think you are just more realistic than others and rational. That’s nothing bad.” She pets the alpaca gently. “How are you holding up?” she asks. “With the news about Marina.”
“I don’t think I am coping well,” I mutter. “You know, one minute I try to accept it and make plans to be prepared, but the next minute I shove everything aside and just can’t accept the fact that she is so ill.”
“She didn’t deserve this,” Aurelia says quietly.
“Barely anyone deserves this, and I am so sorry you have to go through it.” She puts a hand on my arm.
“Coffee? We can have some in my suite. Arden‘s turned into a coffee geek and stocked up on all kinds of coffee beans and even bought some super-special coffee machine.”
I smile. “Coffee sounds good.”
We make it to the packhouse and up to the top floor in silence. I‘ve already seen where Felix’s parents live, but it’s my first time seeing Aurelia’s place. She lives in a luxurious apartment with a lot of open space and barely any doors. “This is amazing,” I blurt out.
“I took it over from my oldest brother,” she explains. “It was Liam’s suite first, as he was supposed to inherit the pack. But then his path led him elsewhere, same for my other brothers, and Dad picked me to take over the pack.” She pauses. “Sometimes it all still feels so surreal.”
“But it isn’t,” I say. “And your standing here is obvious. I have only been in the pack for a couple of days, and I could easily tell.”
“I am terrified but also excited about it,” Aurelia says. “Dad is letting me do most of the alpha tasks now, and I love it! I know it’s a lot of work, and it’s going to have its ups and downs, but I am so motivated. As is Arden. Plus, I have an awesome team around me.”
She sounds so happy when she talks, so full of energy and motivation, I can’t help but admire her for it.
It also makes me realize that I need to do something, as well.
Felix has thrown himself into working for the pack.
Even if he hasn’t truly figured out what to do yet, he is actively working on it.
“You are so quiet, everything okay?” Aurelia asks, handing me a cup of steaming hot coffee.
“Sorry, I was spacing off,” I say. “I have been thinking about what I could do here, in the pack, but also in my life with Felix.”
“You can take it slow. Arrive, settle down and then think about what to do.”
“I know, but I still want to contribute something.”
“I get that,” Aurelia says, and I feel a wave of relief hit me that she takes me seriously. “I believe I would feel the same.”
I take a sip from my coffee, blinking when my taste buds take in the delicious brew. “This is amazing coffee!”
Aurelia laughs. “Arden will be happy to hear that.”
“It’s really good. I worked in a coffee shop before, and we didn’t have such amazing coffee,” I pause, taking another sip. “I need a job,” I finally say. “Maybe there is a coffee shop around that would hire me?”
“You want a job?” Aurelia asks me. “Would you tell me what you are particularly good at?”
“In general, I am good at organizing, budgeting, and planning, I am good with budgeting. I learned all that pretty early, so I’d be able to survive. I guess I am also a pretty good people person, including the annoying ones.”
“How about phone calls and event organization, or preparing folders for a presentation?”
I look at her curiously. “That sounds oddly specific, but yes, that‘s all pretty much up my alley. I am not shy at all.”
“Well, I am looking for an assistant,” Aurelia says, much to my surprise. “And I think it would be great to have you for the job! I know you already, and you are trustworthy, which are two of the most important factors. We can give it a try and see how you cope.”
My mouth drops open in surprise. “Are you for real? Aurelia, you really don’t need to go out of your way-“
“I am not,” she laughs. “I really need someone. My friends already found their place in the pack; two have become my ranked members anyway, and Tori, one of my best friends, is the gamma female, already working with Arden. I honestly could do with your help.”
My heart almost jumps out of my chest when I think about her offer.
She is going to be the new alpha soon. An alpha’s assistant is actually a pretty amazing opportunity.
Plus, she is Felix’s sister. Of course, I don’t know how she would be as my boss, but I can cope with stressful situations. That’s actually my strong point!
For once, I decide to shove self-doubt and my guilt aside. “If you really need someone and if you think I would fit, I would love to try!”
“Fantastic!” Aurelia cries. “This might just solve a few of my problems. Can you start next week? I am wrapping up my last college classes and could do with some help then.”
“Of course, I can start anytime. If you need help before that-“
“No, it’s fine,” she reassures me. “I want you to have some time to settle in and to just get a feel for the pack. Spend some time with Felix.” She pauses. “And with Marina, of course,” she adds. “If you need more time, you don’t need to start so soon.”
I put a hand on my heart. “I am trying to come to terms with it,” I admit. “When I lost my dad, I was broken. Getting through a routine actually helped me.”
“Everyone grieves differently,” Aurelia says. “And no matter how you personally deal with losing your friend, it’s not wrong.”
“Can I tell you a secret?” I ask. “But you need to promise me to keep it to yourself.”
“Of course,” Aurelia says.
I take a shaky breath, not sure if I should tell her, but I just want to get it out there.
To finally tell someone. “I… I think part of me already said goodbye to Marina,” I admit, my chest clenching.
There is a pressure in it that I feel every time too much guilt hits me.
It seems like my guilt is triggered easily, but I can’t help it.
“I love her, I want her to survive and become better, but I have spent over a year with her in that state and I… I think I knew she wouldn’t get better.
I tried to tell myself otherwise, but I…
” My voice trails off, making me feel frustrated that I can’t seem to find the words.
“I understand,” Aurelia says. “Your mind needs to rationalize it to help you push through. Gwen...” She takes my hand. “It’s okay to feel like that. And it’s okay to be relieved that she can finally rest.”
It’s one thing when my personal sunshine says something like this, but something else entirely when a person like Aurelia – older, more mature, much more confident and a clear leader – gives me the validation I didn’t know I needed.
Warm tears start to trickle down my face. “I feel so guilty,” I blurt out.
Aurelia pulls me into her arms. “It’s okay that you feel all these emotions, and internal voices are hard to shut up. I can offer you an outside voice, which I know many others share: You have nothing to feel guilty for, Gwen.”
It felt cathartic to cry and let it all out. Afterwards, I was finally able to make some real plans and talk with Aurelia about what she would need me to do, starting from next week. I hope I can live up to her expectations, but overall, the tasks she has in mind are pretty much in my wheelhouse.
Then I meet my mate for lunch.
“Gwen!” Felix comes running towards me, his brown eyes sparkling in joy when he looks at me. And just like every time I am in his presence, the heaviness around me seems to lessen; even the voice of guilt in my mind turns silent.
I wrap my arms around him and pull him into a kiss. Felix answers instantly, shoving one of his hands in the back pocket of my jeans, while his free arm sneaks around my waist and pulls me closer. Behind us, someone clears their throat.
“Oh!” My cheeks heat up when I spot Dario.
“I don’t want to be a cockblock,” he says. “But I‘d rather not watch my brother devour his mate!”
“Spoilsport,” Felix says, but immediately grins and takes my hand.
“Are you hungry? I hope you are, because from today on, we’ll have some more veggie options.
I know it’s not an awful lot in comparison to what the other pack members get to choose from, but you will at least have two options each day. ”
“Are you kidding?! That is a lot, considering I am the only vegetarian in the pack!” I smack my cheeks to make me realize this is true. “Your family and pack are amazing.”
My words seem to make both Felix and Dario happy.
“Then let’s go,” Dario says. “Mom and Arden are having lunch now, too. I will join them, but if you two prefer...“
“No, I am fine with joining your family,” I say. I want everyone to know that I feel at home here and that I am truly thankful for everything the alpha‘s family is doing for me.
“When will you be joining the pack officially?” Dario asks. “It’s just a technicality, now, since Felix marked you.”
“Anytime,” I say. Secretly, I was hoping they would ask me soon.
“How about tonight?” Felix offers. “Dad will be free in the evening, and I know he would love to add you to the pack and have you officially join the mind link.”
When I nod, Felix smiles in relief. As if I would have said no! But I guess we both have our insecurities. “I will link him immediately,” Felix says.
We walk in silence, waiting for him to finish his talk with his father before continuing our chat. “He is happy to do it,” Felix tells me.
For the rest of the way, Dario explains to us that Elden and Aurelia are skipping lunch because they are preparing for the alpha meeting. “They have invited some of their allies to talk about what happened with Marina,” he explains. “And in your pack, Verdant Forest.”
“Wow, that was quick!”
“Yeah, Dad never beats around the bush for long,” Felix says. “Liam is the same.”
“Auri, too,” Dario adds.
I purse my lips. “Must be an alpha trait.”
“Clearly.”
“Talking about alpha… Aurelia offered me a job. She wants me as her assistant.”
“Awesome!” Felix beams. “Did you say yes?”
“Of course.”
“She has been looking for someone for a while,” Dario explains. “I believe this is a perfect solution.”
“I do feel a bit bad for getting the job through contacts,” I admit.
Felix laughs. “Gwen, anyone would have gotten the job only through contacts. Aurelia would have never chosen a stranger for it, but only someone she clicks with and trusts. You are not a nepo-baby, don’t worry. If anything, the nepo-baby would be me.”
“Doesn’t it work the same for you?” I argue.
“Sure, you have options and privileges others don’t.
But you also work hard. You joined the warrior training.
If you were a true nepo-baby, your father would have made you an elite warrior immediately, but he didn’t.
Plus, the alpha needs to choose someone he can trust for important tasks – obviously, it’s going to be someone from his own family. ”
“You are a kind person for saying that,” Dario says. “To be honest, it’s a fact that we were and are incredibly privileged.”
“But you are making something out of it,” I add. “And you obviously all have great values.”
“Maybe,” Dario says thoughtfully.
Once in the dining room, I deliberately take some of both veggie options. There is an awesome-looking casserole with fried chili tofu and some Indian curry.
Felix takes some of the two dishes too, ‘to try something new‘, as he says. It’s the simple things about him that always strike me at how lucky I am to have met him.
Flora waves at us when she sees us. Unlike her usual joyful behavior, she is much more serious today. “Did something happen?” Dario asks promptly.
“No,” Flora says. “Arden and I have just been talking about the luna meeting.”
“The lunas are coming, too?” Felix asks.
“Yes, they might add a different perspective,” Flora says. “Gwen, sweetheart, would you be willing to join us? The topic mostly concerns you, or rather, your old pack and friends.”
My throat goes dry. Of course, they would want me to make a statement. Well, it’s the lunas, so it should be okay. “Yes, I am ready.”
“That’s not the only thing,” Flora says. “The alpha meeting will start earlier, and for the most part, they are going to research your old pack and try to establish which pack Marina’s mate could be from. But Elden said, he might need to call you in and give them more details.”
At that, my heart rate picks up pace. I am comfortable around Elden and Aurelia, and since yesterday, also Liam. But a room full of alphas… that’s a whole different challenge.
Through our bond, I can feel the warm emotions from Felix coming through, grounding me a little before I can panic. I am part of this pack and family now; my life in my old pack was traumatic, but I want to learn to eventually not need my old coping strategies.
This is going to be the first step.
“Felix can accompany you,” Flora says softly.
“It’s only going to be our closest allies and friends,” Arden adds. “They are all good people.”
“Okay,” I say. “Of course, I am ready. This is for Marina and to get some justice for her.”