Chapter 36 A New Presence
thirty-six
A New Presence
*GWENDOLYN*
Our guests left a clean house, meaning I don’t have to clean up after them, which is frankly amazing and attentive. It makes me happy all over again.
The only task that remains is tending to the animals. I feed our ‘indoor‘ pets, inside, while Felix is outside and tends to the ones in the barn. He has fresh hay prepared for our alpaca and chats with it while making sure it has plenty to eat.
He is the cutest.
When he returns, I have already wrapped up everything on my part and even showered and changed into my pajamas. Felix kisses me when he walks past me, twirling me around. “I am just taking a swift shower, or I will reek of hay the whole night.”
“It’s a nice smell,” I tell him.
Felix grins. “I might have cuddled too much with our alpaca. Seems like I made a new best friend!”
“Why am I not surprised?” My heart makes one of those happy fluttering moves, which makes me want to jump him and just taste and feel him everywhere. “Everyone likes you!”
“I am not sure about everyone. For me, it’s just important that you and my family like me. And obviously our pets. Everything else comes secondary,” he says without a hint of embarrassment. He doesn’t even sound corny when he says something so sweet.
I watch how Felix shimmies out of his clothes and disappears into the bathroom. And goddess, he takes his clothes with him to put them into the hamper! Brandon, the douchebag, never did anything even remotely considerate.
Maybe I should join Felix in the shower?
But then, I hate shower sex. I tried it several times and always got bruises everywhere from either slipping or bumping against something. Plus, the water temperature was always an issue and the slippery walls, and just…
Yet, being with Felix, even in the slippery shower, probably has different perks. I stretch my arms, still caught in my thoughts.
“Gwen?” Felix says.
“Oh, you are done!” So much about joining him.
My eyes fall on him, noting how he has a towel wrapped around his hips, but his perfect, chiseled chest is just waiting for me to touch.
Felix tilts his head to the side, his eyes pinned on my naked belly.
I am exhausted, but somehow the way he looks at me suddenly spurs me on.
I let my arms drop down, but before he can look disappointed, I get rid of my pajama top.
His lips curl into a bright grin. “I love your ideas! You have the best!”
Within seconds, he has dropped his towel and stands next to me, scooping me up in his arms. I wrap my legs around his middle and my arms around his neck.
This time, I want to feel and touch him more.
Now that he has marked me, I feel him so much more intensely.
One of his hands rests against my back, while the other slips into my pajama pants, squeezing my ass.
Fuck, this might sound silly, but I am already so horny for him. If I think back to Brandon now, it literally makes my vagina dry up, while thinking about Felix makes me want to ride his dick until he screams my name. Or I scream his.
I don’t care. There is no room for rational thoughts.
Felix carries me into our bedroom, sitting me on the bed while he tugs my pants off.
I don’t let him move away, immediately wrapping my legs around him until he follows me back onto the bed.
His knees are either side of my waist, straddling me.
Pushing up a little, I let my hand move down his chest towards his cock, his erection growing the more and longer I touch him.
I can see something flash in his eyes. They are turning darker with his wolf’s presence getting stronger. There is something so incredibly hot about being wanted so much. To see the passion in their eyes.
Before Felix can do anything, I press a hand against his chest. He lets me push him into a sitting position, his hands gripping my ass the moment I am sitting on top of him.
With the new position, I can feel his erection between my legs.
Lifting my hips a bit, I wrap my hands around it before lowering them again, until I have taken in all of him.
“Fuck, yes,” Felix groans.
He moves his lips to my mark, licking and sucking at it. It shoots so many new tingles through my body, I even feel them in my toes. Something in me seems to stir, a different presence that very much likes what he is doing.
He moves a hand to one of my breasts, kneading it, before twisting its nipple.
“Ride me,” Felix mutters against my neck.
So much for me being in control, but I don’t fucking care. I keep my hands at his back, moving my hips slowly at first, while Felix sucks at one of my nipples. I want to relish the sensation, feeling more tingles the more sensitive my skin becomes. When he bites one of my nipples, I gasp.
“Fuck, yes,” I moan.
I want to hear him moan, too! I move my hands to his shoulders for balance, while I move my hips up and down in fast succession, slowing down sometimes to make circles.
“Gwen,” Felix groans. “This feels fucking amazing.”
I entwine my fingers behind his neck, leaning back as far as I can.
Felix meets my thrusts now, his hips snapping upwards.
The angle helps him hit my G-spot, making my head spin.
I might even come from that alone, but Felix doesn’t seem to leave anything to chance.
He moves two fingers downwards, pressing them against each side of my clit.
He is not even touching it directly, but whenever I snap my hips upwards, I rub against his hand.
“Fuck,” I moan.
“You can come like this,” he spurs me on. “I know you can, babe.”
Spurred on by his words and his fingers doing whatever they are doing, I continue riding his cock, completely lost in the sensation.
Felix’s lips suck on my nipple again before moving up to my neck. “Fuck, you are hot,” he groans.
I can feel his dick inside me pulsating, and my walls tighten around him.
I cling to his back, feeling a shiver going down my body, something contracting inside me before exploding.
My forehead falls onto Felix’s shoulder, the world around me turning blurred as I can feel Felix riding out his own orgasm.
I never want this to end. I want to continue feeling him all around me, forever. Well, obviously, I can’t have sex with him 24/7, but I feel like with every day we spend with each other, with every smile he directs at me, and with every time he fucks me, our bond gets stronger.
I briefly taste iron on my tongue, but am too far gone to bother.
“…Gwen…”
Hmmm… I nuzzle my nose against his neck.
“Gwen, babe.” Felix takes my face between his hands, pulling me away slightly.
Not nice. I want to smell him a bit longer. “Is something wrong?” I mutter tiredly.
“No,” Felix grins. “But maybe look at my neck.”
I furrow my brows, blinking my eyes open to look at him first. What’s he getting at? But he just keeps smiling brightly like the sun. I tear my gaze from his eyes to his neck, only to feel my world pause for a moment.
A fucking long moment!
“WHAT?” I exclaim. “How… what… I…” I take a deep breath, suddenly feeling fully awake again. “I marked you!”
“You did,” Felix says cheerfully. “See, I told you! Definitely half wolf.”
“But how?” I demand. “She still doesn’t talk to me!
” I try to feel for my wolf. Since I became part of his pack and Felix marked me, I was able to feel her existence more, unlike previously, when it felt like she didn’t exist at all.
However, I still can’t talk to her. “She is still simply a fleeting existence inside me.”
“Yes, maybe,” Felix says. “But she exists. Maybe when you allowed yourself to relax and give in to your urges, she was able to take advantage of the moment-“
“-and mark you,” I conclude.
She is here; she clearly exists. And she came forward to mark our mate! Even if this is all I will ever hear or see from her, I am happy. This one thing has truly put my mind at ease.
I drop down onto my back, next to him, smiling when he pulls me into his arms. I am so happy he remembers I like to cuddle and feel him close after the high of having sex, finally dozing off into a much-needed sleep after a long day.
I wake up to the sun slowly starting to rise. We forgot to let down the blinds last night. But it doesn’t really matter. I am still cradled in Felix’s arms, feeling the warmth of his body, while I watch the sun rising.
It’s so peaceful. I am feeling loved, cherished and safe.
And happy.
As if on cue, my chest clenches, cold gripping my heart. I am happy. Why am I happy? I shouldn’t be when everything around me is still in flames. I can feel the change in mood, so suddenly it almost takes my breath away.
“Gwen!” Felix sounds alarmed. He stirs, sitting up and cradling me in his arms. “Gwen, babe! What’s happening? Are you hurt?”
“No, it’s just-“ I cling to him, letting him hug me to his chest. I feel so safe there. “I was just so happy. I was so happy that I forgot everything else.”
One of Felix’s hands brushes through my hair before resting on my back, rubbing it gently. “Okay,” he says softly. “You are talking about Marina.”
I can’t fucking believe how easily he was able to read me. He must believe I am a complete lunatic. We just had an amazing night, and here I am dragging it all down again. His free hand brushes over my face.
He doesn’t look exasperated or mad, but he should be.
“For a moment, I forgot.” The guilt is almost suffocating me. It has its grip tightly around my heart. “She is in the infirmary, miserable, and I am here-“
“Gwen,” Felix says, sounding more serious than usual.
When I look at him, there is still the same warmth around him and in his eyes, but his expression is earnest. “You did nothing wrong. You are allowing yourself to continue living your life. I don’t know the person Marina was before, but if you call her a friend, she must have been an amazing person.
You were there for Marina - all the time.
I am convinced that she always knew it. And I bet the part of her that might still be with us knows; she knows you brought her child to safety.
Her health started to deteriorate right at that moment, didn’t it? ”
“Yes,” I say quietly.
“I don’t believe it’s a coincidence. She was holding out so long until she knew you and Faye were safe. And it’s all thanks to you. You managed to save Faye because you were smart, persistent and empathic. Now she can finally let go and rest in peace.”
“I never saw it that way,” I mutter. “Rationally, I know that it’s true. I also know that I need to let her go.” I pause, tears filling my eyes. “Sometimes, I even wish she would leave, so that the whole misery could come to an end. I am a horrible person!”
“That’s not true, you are not a horrible person!” Felix argues. “That’s a completely normal thought process. Almost everyone struggling with terminally ill loved ones has these kinds of thoughts sometimes.”
“Is that true?”
“Yes, I talked to Dad about something similar a year or so ago, and he told me that when your mind is constantly under stress, and you are facing a tragedy for such a long period of time, it’s normal to want it to end,” he pauses. “There is nothing wrong with how you think, Gwen.”
Somehow, hearing it from Felix helps. It doesn’t take my worries or anxiety away, but it feels good to have someone validate me. I sigh. “My anxiety must be so annoying.”
“It’s not,” he reassures me. “I know how it feels. It sucks! But you can only accept it as what it is, and do things nevertheless.”
I blink. “You sound like you know what you are talking about.” A pause. “From the time you were kidnapped, right?”
He nods. “When Dario and I were freed, Dad made sure we both saw a therapist. I hated it at first, but it helped a lot. I was terrified for a long while and didn’t even realize it.”
“So, what do you do when anxiety hits you out of the blue?”
“I don’t know if I honestly have a strategy,” he admits.
“But usually I talk to someone I trust. Or try to distract myself by being active... and sometimes, I write it down.” He shows me a lopsided grin.
“Though I hate the latter, so I barely do it. It works better for Dario, however.” He pauses.
“I try not to give my destructive thoughts too much room. My therapist told me to accept that they are there, to pay attention to them when they need it – like a little kid, you know? – but to give it a time limit.”
“You mean, like, hey, stupid thought, I played with you for an hour now, that’s enough?”
“Yep, something like that. Doesn’t always work, but if I pay attention to it for a time, I feel like my mind is at ease. It’s less stressful.”
I tilt my head thoughtfully. “I guess I could try that,” I muse. “I could also try to work or play with the pets. That’s my sort of activity.”
“Do you want to meet a therapist?” Felix offers.
“Is that an option? I thought it’s only for Faye.”
“Of course it’s an option,” he proclaims.
I think his offer through, then nod. “Yes, I think I’d like to try seeing someone.”