Chapter 39 Grief
thirty-nine
Grief
*GWENDOLYN*
Idon’t even know how late it is when we all eventually leave Marina’s hospital room. She has taken her last breath. I knew I had to let her go, but it still feels like I failed her so much.
Felix holds my hand. “We will make sure to find whoever did that to her.”
“Yes,” Elden agrees. “That’s why Marius met with us in the first place. The kid will visit us tomorrow.”
“The kid?” I ask, confused.
“Maddox. Your former alpha’s son.”
“Wait, really?!” I exclaim. “You managed to reach him so soon?”
“Actually, Liam did,” Elden explains. “He reached out to the contact you gave us – Maddox’s cousin. Through that, he was able to safely contact Maddox. The rest, apparently, was simple. Maddox is surprisingly eager to meet us.”
“Could it be a trap?” Felix asks.
“That’s what we are trying to figure out,” Elden admits. “We know that Gwen was followed, but we don’t know if Maddox is involved. We don’t even know if the guys were from his pack.”
“Unfortunately, I don’t know either,” I admit. “They didn’t seem to know me, but that alone is not proof for anything, considering I was pretty much living secluded from everyone else.”
“So, it’s possible they don’t know what you look like?” Aurelia asks.
“Yeah, definitely.”
“But you haven’t seen anyone spying on you recently?” Elden wants to know.
“No, but I didn’t leave pack grounds, and it’s highly unlikely that someone got past the borders.”
Elden and Aurelia exchange a look. “We have to be really careful,” Elden mutters. “I don’t know Maddox. If he wants to help, I will happily accept it, but if he wants to harm Gwen, I am taking no chances.”
“Where should we meet him?” Flora asks.
Elden gestures for Aurelia to answer. She just shrugs. “Here,” she says.
Felix looks at her, his eyes wide in surprise. “You want to invite him onto pack grounds? But he might see Gwen here.”
“Exactly. I want to see his reaction. The size of our pack and the fact that Gwen is mated to a member of the alpha family will be daunting for him. In case he wants to trick us, he will know that it’s a major risk for him and his pack.
Also, we are on home turf here, and can react quicker.
We will immediately know when someone else steps onto pack grounds.
If we meet outside the grounds, we might be followed. ”
“What about Liam’s pack?” Felix asks.
Aurelia is quiet for a while. “Liam has taken a lot of risks for us and our allies during the last couple of years. I don’t think it’s necessary to involve his pack in this. If Gwen was followed, they would know her whereabouts sooner or later, anyway.” She looks at Elden. “What do you think, Dad?”
“Risky,” he says. “But I would have decided the same. We need to be quick, and the sooner we can gauge Maddox’s intentions, the better.” He looks at me. “You don’t need to do anything, Gwen. Take a break. After today, you really need it.”
“Are you sure? If you need me-“
“If we truly need you, we will link you,” he says. “But take a day for yourself.”
“I can fill in instead,” Felix offers.
Elden nods. “That would be a good idea.”
“Charlie will come and visit tomorrow,” Felix tells me. “Why don’t you spend some time with her?”
I want to argue, but I feel tired. So tired that my whole body feels heavy. Marina is gone! For the longest while, she was my only friend, and it makes me feel so bitter that she had to live the last year of her life as a shell.
Marina didn’t deserve this. Faye didn’t deserve this.
How is any of that fair?
No matter how hard I try to come up with answers, I just never manage to understand the why, the reason for someone being so cruel to another person. Maybe when Elden, Liam and Aurelia find the perpetrator, I will finally have answers, but until then, I need to push through.
Once in the packhouse, we make our way to Elden’s and Flora’s suite.
To my relief, Marius and Celine are there, playing with Faye as they promised they would.
They have retrieved some of the toys Elden and Flora have here in case their grandchildren visit, currently building a colorful castle out of small bricks.
“Oh, you are building a castle,” I say.
“Yes,” Celine smiles at me. “Faye wants a house for her doll, right Faye?”
Faye nods.
Elden sits down at the table, a reasonable distance from Faye. Felix and Arden do the same. Now that we know that she probably saw her mother being abused, no one wants to trigger her. Faye took a liking to Marius and trusts him, but it‘s probably better that the others stay away.
“It’s late,” Flora says quietly, while joining us on the carpet. “We should all try to sleep a little.”
Marius nods. “Yeah, it was a long day.”
“And we need our strength for tomorrow,” Elden adds. He rubs his face, muttering something I don’t quite catch. Just something about how he will try to get justice. His tone is grim, and somehow that makes me feel a little lighter.
It’s good to know that I am not the only one who is mad. That my new family is mad together with me.
“We don’t have a long way to go home,” Celine says. “But we should probably leave you alone so that you can get some rest.”
“No!” Faye wraps her arms around Celine’s waist.
Celine looks surprised, exchanging a look with Marius. “Sweetie, you can visit us anytime,” she offers. “We can pick you up next week and show you our pack.”
Marius nods. “We have a lovely playground. Oh, and the pool is still open. What do you say? I will pick you up for a playdate on Monday.”
“Meanwhile, you can stay with us,” I offer softly. “You can play with the animals.”
But Faye just shakes her head, wrapping her arms around Celine even tighter. “Don’t leave me,” she begs. “Don’t go.”
Something about the way she says it breaks my heart.
I wish I could be what she needs, but I know I am not.
I love this little girl so much, but she doesn’t see me as a second mom.
What Flora and Elden told me a while ago is true.
She sees me like a big sister, maybe, or an aunt, and that’s okay.
I am happy to be that for her, and I doubt I could be something else, but right now she needs more.
Marius and Celine exchange another look. “I would have returned for the meeting with Maddox, anyway,” Celine says into the silence. “Tomorrow, I mean.”
“Yes, it’s probably a waste of time to drive home just to sleep there.” Marius adds.
Celine nods. “Arman and Harmony can fill in for us until tomorrow.”
With that, Marius gets up. “I will give them a call.”
“Where can we stay?” Celine asks Flora.
“We have two big guestrooms here. You know, for when Liam and Annie come with the kids to visit. How about you take one of those?”
“Sounds fantastic,” Celine agrees, before picking up Faye and standing up. “How about the two of us get ready for bed?” she asks.
Faye has her arms wrapped around Celine’s neck and nods.
Once they have left the living room, we all fall into silence. “And now?” Aurelia finally asks.
“Well, we should all go to bed,” Elden says.
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I know.” Elden sighs. “I have no idea.”
“What if Celine and Marius have to leave tomorrow?” Aurelia asks. “What are we going to do then?”
“Maybe I can convince Faye to stay with Felix and me for a while,” I say. “She lived with me before.”
“I thought she would love that,” Aurelia admits. “The pets and you, you all feel familiar to her. But…”
“I know,” I say quietly. “I don’t know if she will want to go with me.”
“You are not the problem,” Arden says. “I don’t think it has anything to do with you, Gwen, or the pets.
I think if it were a normal day, Faye would love to go with you and play with the animals.
But she doesn’t want to stay with them, because it reminds her of her mom and the last year where she was shunned, and had to hold it together for the sake of her mother.
She can’t go back to that life anymore.” He pauses.
“I am sorry, Gwen. This is not to say you did something wrong. It’s quite the opposite. It’s just-“
“I get it,” I reassure him. “I totally do. For me, coming here was a new start, but Faye doesn’t have that yet.”
“I agree,” Elden says. “This child is having a full-blown breakdown. I will get her psychological help asap. Tomorrow, there will be a therapist to guide her through her grief. Until then, we need to handle it somehow.”
“She can stay with Elden and me for now,” Flora offers.
Elden nods. “We wouldn’t mind. But Gwen is right, Faye will need a fresh start soon, and we need to figure out how.”
Flora taps her lips thoughtfully. “Let’s have her stay with us for now. I am positive we will find a way.”
Elden looks at her with interest. “Are you?”
She nods, her lips tugging into a smile. “Yes.”
Somehow, none of the others are arguing with her on that, so I guess it has to be true. Maybe she has a plan? Since I have no idea myself, I am happy to put it into Flora’s hands. I promised Marina that her child would be cared for, and I will accept any help to achieve that.
When Marius returns from his phone call, he and Elden leave to gather some clothes for him and Celine to change into and to probably discuss some details. For everyone else, this is the cue to retire.
“It’s going to be okay,” Aurelia tells me before we part.
“I promise it will be. If Mom says she will find a way, she will.
We know better than to question her on that.
As for Marina...“ She reaches out to take my hands.
“We will make sure to send her off the way she deserves. And then we will hunt down whoever is responsible for hurting her like that.”