25. Sage
Sage
This ship was run like a well-oiled machine, back out at sea only a couple hours later.
My days had turned to a simple routine. Breakfast with Anne, days spent with Bramwell while I worked on my now long list of patching, and dinner in the mess hall in the evenings.
When I first got here it felt like everyone was doing everything in their power to avoid me, like I was some kind of parasite.
But now the crew would wave when they passed me, or even sit next to me during meals.
I learned Links also liked plants, and before they were a pirate, Bee used to work on a farm.
I’d hardly seen Shadowhart in the last couple of days. Every once in a while he’d check in with Bramwell, but as soon as he was told there was nothing of note, he was out of there like he thought he might be set on fire. Not once had he met my gaze.
I did my best not to think about it, or care. It was clear he was only interested in a quick hookup, and was trying hard to make sure I got the hint. Well, I read it loud and clear, so he didn’t have to worry about that.
It reminded me of a time such hints didn’t come as easily to me.
When I was a teen, I made out with Lord Bartred in the gardens during a party.
It was my first time being kissed, and I thought it meant something.
We’d been writing letters back and forth before that, having met at a ball a few months before.
But it turned out I was very wrong. When I voiced the assumption, he looked at me like I was mad in front of everyone, letting me know, “It was just a fling, don’t read so much into it.”
Since then, I’d allowed everything to be “just a fling.” Feelings confused things, and this way there was never any reason for the confusion.
And there still wasn’t. I was sure Shadowhart heard of my reputation and wanted to see for himself. And that was fine. I wasn’t upset, or hopeful, or any of those things.
The waves were extra bumpy today. Normally in the center of the ship there wasn’t much to feel, but when it was choppy enough the rocking became more evident. Luckily, it seemed only the water really bothered me; so long as I didn’t see it, I was fine.
“Moons,” Bramwell cursed. Papers flew to the ground with one particularly harsh knock of the waves. With the movement and my surprise at his outburst, I let the needle prick my finger briefly, making me jump. A bead of blood formed in place, and I stuck it in my mouth to stop it.
I set down the shirt and got to the floor to help him collect them. “Thank you,” he said, reaching for the stack I’d collected.
The ship creaked again. There was a lull, right before something hit so hard it sent both Bramwell and I flying backward. I slammed into the wall with a harsh breath, pain crawling across my side.
“Are you okay?” he asked, prying himself off the wall. His hand reached out, trying to help me up.
We were both halfway to standing when it happened again. Bramwell barely caught me, keeping us both standing.
“What’s up with the waves?” I asked.
“Those aren’t waves,” he said.
My brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
He kept his lips pressed in a hard line for a moment. “Stay here,” he said. We moved until I was positioned in the corner furthest away from any furniture. “Sit tucked in here, and wait for one of us to come back.”
“I… What—”
“Just wait here.” Bramwell left the room, leaving me in the eerie silence that came after something presumably hit the ship.
I did my best not to let myself spiral, I had no idea how I even felt. With no knowledge of what could have actually made that sound, my brain went everywhere. Another crew of pirates come to pillage the ship?
You’re not going to battle. You’re just… being attacked by a kraken.
Okay, even less helpful.
I spiraled until I could feel the tightness coil in my chest. My lungs felt like they were being bound by wire.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Breathe in.
Nothing helped.
I just had to sit in my discomfort, hoping it would end soon. Hoping the crew wouldn’t forget about me. Hoping Shadowhart would save me, if only for the gem.