Chapter 8
Eight
Hannah
It’s so bright. And I’m warm. In a good way. Comfortable. How is that possible? I’m never this comfortable. Not even before I was pregnant.
I slide a hand to my belly, like I do every morning, as I remember my situation. I’ve started every day making sure I feel life still kicking inside me.
Except today, my hand lands on something other than my stomach. I gasp, my eyes popping wide open as I look down to see another hand is on top of me. A huge hand that’s holding my stomach protectively.
This is why I’m warm. There’s someone behind me, spooning me. Touching all along my back. My butt is nestled against him. Panic consumes me right before he speaks. “Good morning, sunshine. Relax. It’s just me. Aaric.”
Aaric …
Oh yeah. The long walk… Aaric finding me on the path to his house… Reuniting with Rebekah… Being pampered by this giant man… Sleeping in his bed…
He kisses my shoulder. “You rolled over a few hours ago, after you went to the bathroom, and plastered yourself to me, honey.” He massages my tight belly. “I don’t know how you can sleep at all. This baby has been doing gymnastics for over an hour.”
I still haven’t spoken. My brain won’t send words to my mouth. I’m so stunned. On the one hand, I feel cherished in a way I’ve never experienced. On the other hand, I have no business letting a man touch me like this. He’s not my husband. I barely know him.
Except that’s not exactly true. I know him better than any man I’ve met, and that’s from information gathered in less than a day.
He has shared more words with me than Presley did in two years.
That old fart mostly grunted and barked orders.
Aaric looks at me, too. Looks me in the eye, like he cares.
I like him. I don’t trust men, but I trust Aaric. He’s good to me. He was always good. Even when I was a young girl.
Memories flood back to me. I used to sneak over to the Gallant property sometimes. I would follow Rebekah. She was bolder. More outgoing. She would come right out in the open and interact with the Gallants.
I was too shy. Not brave enough. I think I was jealous, but not in a bad way.
I was frustrated with myself that I didn’t have the nerve to talk to them.
Not often. Sometimes, one of them would saunter over to me and say something nice or hand me something to eat.
They were nonchalant about it. They would play it cool and act like they just happened to walk by and just happened to be carrying something to eat and just happened not to be hungry.
My sister always brought me food when she left. She was so kind to me. When I think back, I feel like the most interesting parts of my life happened here, on this land, me watching other people interact. Including Aaric.
He’s a good man. His parents raised him to be kind and decent.
My mother was good. I suppose my father was, too, when we were very young.
But when he found out we snuck over to the neighbors, he forbade us from doing so.
He said the Gallants were uppity and thought they were better than other people.
I knew he was wrong. I knew them better than he did. I mostly watched, but they were nice people. They still are. My father was angry and bitter. He was hateful. He got worse after my mother died, probably because he blamed himself for not having enough money to get her proper medical care.
And then he sold me.
And now he’s dead.
And I’m glad.
“Breathe, honey. The baby needs oxygen,” Aaric teases, chuckling so hard that his body shakes mine.
I draw in a deep breath. I hadn’t realized I’d been holding it. He doesn’t know where my mind wandered. I shake off the sad thoughts.
“That’s better. I bet you need to pee again. How about if I go make breakfast? The baby is hungry.” His lips are so close to my ear, and I find myself gripping his hand over mine, not wanting him to move yet.
He must read my body language because he nuzzles my neck and scoots closer. “Everything is going to be okay, sunshine. I promise.”
His words mean the world to me. He’s calming me.
The panic is ebbing. My brain is a jumbled mess.
The fire-and-damnation side is shaking a finger at me for sleeping so close to a man who is not my husband.
The newer side of me, which is starting to think all that nonsense is rubbish, is telling me to accept the attention and let myself experience kindness.
Why should I believe the words of an angry man who started a fire that killed two people and then sold me? Why should I believe the words of a man who bought a woman, let his son take advantage of her, blamed her, and threatened to let a baby die?
I shouldn’t. I should put those people behind me and listen to this man who is offering me the world.
He asked me to marry him. He said he would do so more formally today. If I say yes and we head to the courthouse this morning, like he suggested, will it really be sinful that I slept in the same bed as him the night before? It’s not like we had sex.
He told me to erase the word sin from my vocabulary. It’s an awful word. I think I will.
My stomach growls, causing Aaric to take action. He gives my belly a pat and releases me to slide off his side of the bed. After rounding to my front, he bends over and kisses my forehead. He’s smiling, and I love his tousled morning look.
“Give me two seconds in the bathroom, then it’s yours.”
He shuffles away and closes the door behind him. I miss his touch. The way he kisses me is so sweet. And he’s so unbelievably handsome. He makes my heart race.
When he returns, I’m breathing heavily from thinking about him.
“Let me help you up, sunshine,” he says. “The stool might be handy after you’ve had the baby, but I’m not liking you using it until you can actually see your feet.”
I let him pull the covers back, and holy cow, it’s nice to have someone actually lift me upright. He tucks an arm under my shoulder, guides me until I’m sitting, and then grips my hands as I ease to the floor.
“Are you steady, sunshine?”
I clear my throat. “I think so.”
“Yell if you need me. Don’t do anything strenuous.”
I feel even more like a whale as he pads from the room. He’s still wearing nothing but sweatpants. His back is almost as nice to look at as his front.
Somehow, I manage to convince my feet to move and make it to the bathroom. The relief I feel after emptying my bladder is tremendous. It’s shocking how few hours I can go without peeing. I can’t wait for this baby to get out of me so I can have my bladder back.
When I look in the mirror as I wash my hands, I wince. My face is swollen and white. My entire body is swollen. I ache from head to toe. I’m not a complainer because it won’t do any good, and no one has ever been around to listen to me, but I’m close to breaking down into tears.
Didn’t I cry enough yesterday? It’s like all the crying I could have done for the past few years built up, and it’s all rushing out of me now that I’m safe, with someone who doesn’t reprimand me every time tears well up.
I cry silently for a few minutes before splashing water on my face and taking several deep breaths.
After drying off on the soft hand towel, I leave the bathroom.
I’m still wearing Aaric’s T-shirt and the leggings, but the reality is I haven’t been this clean in a long time.
The bath yesterday was luxurious, though.
Maybe he’ll let me take another one after breakfast. Why am I so tired?
I pause three times on the way to the main room, out of breath as though I’ve been walking for miles. I wasn’t this physically exhausted during the four days it took me to get here.
Aaric turns to face me while I’m holding on to the back of the couch. He drops the spatula on the counter and rushes to my side. “You okay, honey?”
“Just oddly tired.” I let him help me to the table.
“I should think so. I still can’t believe how far you walked. I looked at your map. Honey, that would have been challenging for someone who wasn’t pregnant.”
“I was determined.”
“I see that, and I’m so glad. But I wish you hadn’t had to endure that hike in your condition.”
When I’m seated, he gives me two glasses—one of orange juice and one of water. I down the orange juice immediately and feel better for it.
Aaric brings a giant platter of food over and two plates. He sets one in front of me and hands me a serving spoon. “Take as much as you’d like.”
It smells so good, and I’m starving again, but I try not to dish up more than I think I can eat. Bacon, fried eggs, hashbrowns, and toast.
Aaric settles next to me. “I’m certain you’ve lived your entire life with food insecurities, Hannah, and worrying about your next meal is ingrained, but I want you to know those days are over.
You will not go hungry. There will always be food here for you.
You don’t need to overeat, nor do you need to clean your plate if you’re full.
Eat what you want. If you’re hungry again in an hour, I’ll fix you something else. ”
He’s right. That’s really hard to imagine. I’ve never in my life had enough food. I’ve even learned to scarf it down out of fear it might be taken away.
“Is there anything you want that you don’t see on the table, honey?”
“No. This is so good. You’re spoiling me.”
He grins. “This is how a man should treat a woman. I’ll never stop.”
It’s so hard to chew and swallow slowly, but I do. It seems like there’s not enough room in my stomach today. Is the baby sitting lower or something?
“Are you okay, sunshine? You’re quiet.”
“I think so. I’m just so tired, and it seems hard to eat.”
He sets his hand over mine. “Don’t force yourself. Eat what you want. Maybe you’ll feel hungrier in a while.”
I manage to finish what’s on my plate and drink all the water. I’m so stuffed. I feel like I’m going to explode. But I suspect there’s a good reason for that. A human is in my stomach, taking up far too much space.
“Do you want to lie down again, honey?” Aaric asks, his brows furrowed with concern.
I look at him and hesitate. I’ve been here for one day.
I shouldn’t feel as comfortable as I do.
It’s hard for me to trust that he won’t get mad if I ask for what I want.
I’ve never had the freedom to do so. I haven’t had the ability to “go lie down again” in years.
It’s not a concept I would even consider.
I would never ever have let myself be “lazy” in Presley’s home or my own after my mother died. Dad said Rebekah and I were grown up and needed to fill our Mama’s shoes. Sometimes, he wasn’t home, and then we relaxed a bit, but when he was, we were not idle.
Aaric scoots his chair back, reaches for the edges of mine, and squares me up with him. He sets his hands on my thighs. “Talk to me. You can tell me anything. Ask me anything.”
“Would it be okay if I took another bath?” My words tremble a bit.
“Honey, you never have to ask if you can take a bath. Take five a day if you want. You don’t need permission to eat, either. Open the fridge, grab whatever appeals to you, and eat it.”
Tears well up, but I fight them, keeping my jaw tight. All I can do is nod.
“Please be careful getting in and out of the tub. I’m worried about you climbing over the edge. If you need help, ask for it.”
“Okay,” I manage to mutter.
“I spoke to the midwife about coming by this morning. Is that okay?”
“Yes.” I hate talking to strangers about my body, and I’m not looking forward to her examining me, but I know it will be safer for the baby if I find the will to meet with her.
“One more thing,” he says. “Have you thought about marrying me?”
My face heats. It’s been on my mind in between every other thought since he first suggested it. I thought maybe he would have changed his mind and not brought it up again. But apparently, he has not.
I lick my lips. “Are you sure you want to strap yourself to a woman and a baby who have nothing to offer but burdensome noise and chaos?”
He chuckles. “I can’t think of anything I’d rather do than add noise and chaos to my life, sunshine.” He lifts a hand and strokes my cheek. “It’s far too quiet around here. I think we need to add a crying baby.”
A smile forms on my lips. He’s teasing, but he’s also serious. I stare at him.
He scoots his chair back, drops onto one knee in front of me, and takes both my hands. “Hannah Sharp, will you marry me today? I promise to love and honor you and our baby for the rest of your lives.”
I nearly choke when he says “ our ” baby. My heart is racing. How could I say no to him? He’s the best man I’ve ever met. I’d be a fool to turn him down. I nod. “Yes.”
Aaric jumps to his feet, lifts me to mine with both hands on my hips, and hugs me as tight as he can with my belly in the way. “I’ll make you happy, Hannah.”
He already does.