Chapter 7
Seven
Aaric
My nerves are frayed. It seems like my life has taken a one-eighty since I got out of bed today. I’ve literally rescued a pregnant woman and asked her to marry me. She hasn’t agreed, but I’m hoping she will in the morning.
When Hannah steps back into the room, she takes my breath away. Nothing has changed. She’s still wearing my T-shirt and the leggings that Rebekah brought her, but she looks more relaxed than a few minutes ago. She’s not frowning in confusion.
I’m sitting on the edge of the bed where she slept earlier, and I quickly stand and pat the mattress. I also point toward the floor. “I found a stool you can use to get in and out of bed, but please be careful. I don’t want you to fall in the night. I’d rather you let me help you get up and down.”
She stares at the stool and shuffles closer. “You think of everything,” she mutters.
“I’m sure I won’t think of everything . You’re going to have a million needs in the coming days. I’ll be playing whack-a-mole trying to guess what you might need every step of the way, but I promise to do my best.”
She furrows her brow. “Whack-a-mole?”
I chuckle. “It’s a game.” I wave a hand between us. “It’s not important. I’ll show you sometime. I just mean that I’m going to try to anticipate the things you’ll want me to do, but sometimes I’ll be floundering and guessing.”
She takes my hand on her own accord when she reaches me. “You’re the nicest man I’ve ever met. You’ve already done more for me than every man I’ve encountered in my entire life combined. Whatever whack-a-mole is, you’re winning.”
I grin broadly. I like to know I’m pleasing her. It feels important to me. Holding her hand, I help her onto the step and then the bed, but she can’t even see the stool over her stomach, so I’m not sure it’s safe or reliable.
She curls up on her side, like she did earlier, and I tuck a pillow between her legs and an extra one under her head. “Are you comfortable?”
She giggles. The sound is so refreshing. “No. I don’t think I’ll ever be again, but I’m one hundred times more comfortable than I was up until today.”
“That’s good. It’s all I can hope for.” I tuck the covers around her and bend to kiss her temple. “I’ll leave the door ajar again. Please call out when you need to get up so I can help you and make sure you don’t fall. I don’t really like the stool. You can’t see it over your belly.”
Hannah takes my hand and brings it to her face. “I’m in your bed.”
“I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“It’s not nearly as long as your body.”
I shrug. “I’ll be fine, sunshine.”
She grips my fingers tighter and stares at me before shaking her head. “You should sleep in here. The bed is big. I may be a whale, but I don’t think I’m taking up too much space.”
“You are not a whale.”
“Although I’ll warn you, I get up about ten times in the night to pee. My bladder is squished. You’d be exhausted if you had to get up every time I do. I won’t wake you up.”
I sit on the edge of the mattress next to her. “Hannah, it’s no bother. I’m worried about you. You’re very unsteady on your feet. I don’t know how you walked this far, but your body can barely support itself. You’re worn out. Let me help. I don’t want you to fall.”
She looks over her shoulder. “I’ll be fine, but please don’t let me kick you out of your bed.”
“Okay.” I only agree because, honestly, I can’t stand the idea of being in the other room. I’d rather be close to her in case she needs me. She could go into labor, and knowing Hannah, she’d lie in here silently taking the pain because she wouldn’t want to disturb me.
I head for the bathroom and return five minutes later, having changed into sweatpants.
Hannah’s breath hitches, and she rises onto one elbow.
“What?”
Her gaze roams up and down my body. “You’re so…”
I didn’t think much of it when I removed my shirt, but maybe I should have left it on. I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable. “I can put a T-shirt on, if you want.”
“God, no.” She giggles and covers her mouth. “I was just startled, that’s all. There have only been a few times I’ve seen a man without a shirt on, but none of them looked as, uh, buff as you.”
“Thank you?” I chuckle. I’m glad she finds me attractive.
That’s a good sign. She can’t take her eyes off me.
It’s mutual. I like staring at her, too.
Even in her current very pregnant state, she’s stunning.
Perhaps more so. Her face is glowing now that she’s had some rest, food, and a bath.
I bet she’ll look even better tomorrow. She needs some color.
That will come from getting enough to eat and drink.
I turn off all but the nightlight and round to the other side of the bed.
“I’m in your spot, though, aren’t I?” she asks, rolling onto her back to follow me with her gaze.
I’m glad I had the nightlight in the house. It’s proving to be a necessity. It’s bright enough for her to see me okay and easily find the bathroom in the night.
I pull the covers back and climb onto the bed. “Honey, I don’t care where I sleep as long as you let me be close enough to hear you breathe and know when you’re moving around.”
When I prop up on one elbow and lean my head against my palm, she turns her head all the way in my direction. Two feet separate us. It seems like a mile, but I’ll take it.
“Why are you being so nice to me?” she whispers. She might even be talking to herself. I’m not sure she realizes she spoke out loud.
“Sunshine, I’m being a decent human being.
You’ve been short-changed on that for most of your life.
I know your mom was a good woman, and I’m so sorry she passed.
I was saddened when I heard about her death.
But you have really had shitty men in your life.
I’m not like that. Not all men are assholes. I’ll prove it to you.”
“It’s one thing to be kind to a stranger, Aaric. It’s another thing entirely to take her into your home, feed her, buy her a million gifts, and offer to marry her.”
I chuckle. “I guess when you put it that way, it does sound rather rushed.”
“Rushed? Aaric, that’s a freight train hurtling down a hill with no brakes.”
Laughing again, I shrug. “I guess I’m a freight train, then.
I can’t think of any place I’d rather be or any person I’d rather be with.
I’ve been wandering aimlessly for years.
Today, I feel a sense of clarity I don’t recall experiencing before.
Maybe I’ve lost my marbles, but marrying you and becoming the father of your baby feels right to me. ”
“You’re going to wake up tomorrow and realize you had a concussion today,” she teases.
“Nope. I’m going to wake up tomorrow and find this gorgeous woman in my bed and know I’ve made the right decision.”
“The marriage won’t be real if we don’t have sex,” she blurts out.
I shake my head. “That’s bullshit. Our marriage will be real no matter what.
No one will ever know when or if we have sex.
It’s none of their business. I would never pressure you to make that kind of decision on top of everything else.
Pregnant women have a hard time finding a comfortable position to have sex in, and there’s no way I’m going to enter your body without knowing I can make you see stars.
So don’t even think about sex for a while.
Doctors don’t recommend women have sex for six weeks after giving birth.
Your body will need to heal. But even then, we will wait until you’re ready. ”
I hope I’m making sense. This is such an important topic. I want her to know she will not be pressured by me. Never. I don’t care how sexy she is. I’ll keep my dick tucked away in my pants.
And damn, is she ever sexy. Even right now, lying in bed, her face is rosy with embarrassment. When she’s waddling through the house, she’s fucking adorable. I know she will be radiant after she gives birth. She’s going to blossom into the best mom in the world. And I can’t wait to see it.
Hannah rolls toward me. It’s not easy. Every movement takes effort, but she manages to turn onto this side, reposition the pillow between her legs, pull the covers up, and lean her cheek on the cool pillowcase.
“Thank you,” she whispers. “I don’t know where I would be tonight if you hadn’t found me. ”
“You would still be right here. You were headed this way when I picked you up,” I tease, reminding her that she was only a short distance from Gallant Mountain at the time.
She rolls her pretty blue eyes. They look like deep pools of water in the dim light. I could stare into them for hours. When she tucks her small hands under her chin and sighs contentedly, my cock lurches.
Down, boy. You’re going to have to be patient. Very patient .
She has to be tired even after sleeping for most of the day, but she stays alert. After several minutes, she speaks again, her words careful and soft. “I’ve only had sex one time.”
I hadn’t expected her to open this conversation. I guess she’s been thinking about my words. “I didn’t figure you had.”
“It was painful.”
“I’m sure it was, especially since I assume he didn’t do anything to make it feel good for you.”
She frowns. “Like what?”
I lick my lips, hesitating. This is a serious fucking discussion, and I need to be careful. I want to say the right things to reassure her without making her freak out.
“When you’re with someone you care about, sex is a beautiful experience for both parties, honey. For most men, it doesn’t take a lot of time or material for them to get aroused and ready to have sex. But, on the flip side, most women need foreplay.”
Her brow scrunches deeper. “Foreplay?”
“Yep. If I were going to have sex with you, I would start by treating you like a princess for the entire day. Little kisses on your neck when you least expect them. Soft touches. Whispering kind words in your ear. Cupping your face and touching the small of your back. Things like that. Things that make a woman feel amorous.”
She continues to stare at me like I have two heads, her nose and cheeks so contorted it looks like she smells something sour. She’s so cute.
I smile. “A man shouldn’t get to decide when a woman must have sex with him. It’s a mutual decision. She should always be able to say no or even change her mind once they’ve started.”
“You act like it’s a big deal.”
“It is, honey. It’s your body. No one gets to touch you unless you want them to.
That includes your husband. But trust me, if you were really happy and in love, you would want to have sex.
It’s natural. Snuggling up to your man would make your body come alive.
Your breasts would feel heavy. Your pussy would get swollen and wet.
Then, when he touched you, you would see stars. ”
Her cheeks flush a deeper pink. “That sounds silly.”
“It’s not. I assure you.” As I watch, she pulls her knees up as much as her bump allows and fists her hands in front of her chest. I think my talk about sex has affected her. Good. My cock is fucking hard.
“Well, I don’t get it, but it sounds nice.”
“And I’ll be happy to show you, when you’re ready.
If that’s something you want.” Am I rushing her?
I am. There’s no denying that. But it seems like she needs a bit of nudging.
Or a huge shove. If it makes her feel safe and protected and gives her peace of mind and keeps her from referring to her baby as a bastard, I’ll look into her eyes tomorrow and promise to love, honor, and protect her for the rest of her life.
It’s not a whim. I’m sure of myself. I want her to be mine. I don’t care how absurd anyone else might think I’m acting. They don’t understand.
The best feeling I’ve ever experienced in my life is happening right now.
I’m two feet from the woman I’ve fallen for.
I’m not even touching her, and I’ve promised not to for at least two months.
She’s an angel who fell into my arms, literally and figuratively.
She’s so perfect, I want to make her mine more than anything in the world.
I’ve never been clearer or more certain.
“Do you think it’s sinful for me to sleep in the same bed as you?” she asks.
“No, Hannah. I don’t believe you’ve committed even one hundredth of the number of sins most people commit in their lifetimes, sunshine.
People have pushed that stupid word on you and made you feel like a bad person for far too long.
I don’t want to hear the word sin anymore. It’s on the banned list from now on.”
She smiles, which kind of surprises me. “Okay.”
Progress.
“Would it be sinful for you to scoot closer and hold my hand?”
Quickly, I close the distance between us and reach out to take her hand in mine. “No, sunshine. Banned word, remember?”
“Okay. Don’t you believe in God and the Bible?”
Oh, boy… “Hannah, the Bible has its place, but I don’t happen to believe it should be taken so literally. It’s filled with contradictions, and it sounds to me like people have been filling your head with shit that’s not even in the Bible, honey.”
“Probably…”
“They wanted to control you, and they did so by making you feel bad about yourself. That’s cruel. And it won’t happen in our home. I will never say anything that’s meant to make you feel like you’ve done something wrong. And we won’t fill our children’s heads with such nonsense either.”
She bites her bottom lip, watching me closely.
It’s going to take time, but I’m confident I can undo the damage.
After all, most of it has been done in the last four years.
Her mother didn’t fill her head with all this shit.
It started after Eve died. It was a gradual thing that happened under her father’s roof because he was such an asshole after his wife died.
I’m certain Presley Vanguard was an even bigger piece of shit who spent the last two years adding to the list of stupidity.
I can undo that. I’m already making progress.
Hannah relaxes deeper into the pillow and mutters, “ Our children… plural… Can I get through just the one first?” Her words are barely audible but filled with a twinge of humor, making me chuckle.
Eventually, Hannah’s eyes grow heavy. “You’ll stay with me?” she murmurs.
“Yes, honey. I’m right here. I won’t leave your side.”
“It feels nice,” she whispers. “You’re warm and… I like it.”
All she’s touching is my hand. She’d be even warmer if I wrapped my body around her and spooned her, but that would be taking things too far. She’d end up pondering the sinfulness of allowing herself even one iota of pleasure. It’s infuriating. She deserves better. I vow to make it happen for her.