Chapter 6 #2
He squeezes my hand. “Stop talking down about yourself. You can’t help not knowing things you haven’t been exposed to.
You’re a sponge, Hannah. If you want to learn new things, you can.
Besides, your mother did a good job educating the two of you when you were young.
I recognize that from getting to know Rebekah.
Eve Sharp was a smart woman, and she passed as much as she could on to her daughters.
As for why I would want to marry you? I can’t fully explain why I feel like I do, but my heart has been in my hands from the moment I approached you on the path this morning.
Something about you calls to me. It’s the sunshine behind your eyes, the light people have been trying to snuff out for many years.
It’s there. It just needs kindling and care to relight.
I want to help you find yourself. I want to be the man you deserve, Hannah. ”
He’s so certain. It’s baffling. He can’t be serious. “Aaric…”
“Think about it, honey. Sleep on it. I’m offering you a loving, safe home. I promise I won’t rush you or pressure you to feel something for me. I won’t force myself on you. Never. We won’t have sex unless and until you’re ready.”
I can’t take my eyes off him. “Are you serious?”
“Totally.” He leans in closer and lifts my hand to stroke my knuckles against his beard. “Seems like the smartest idea I’ve had in years. And I’m a tech guy. I come up with a lot of good ideas.” He grins.
“I don’t even know what that means.”
His smile widens. “I’ll show you everything you want to know about my job any time. You can come to my office whenever you want.”
“Your office? Where’s that?”
“My primary office is in the main house. We all have offices in the main house. Some of them are in the basement, which is also a safe room. I’ll give you a tour when you’re feeling up to it.
I doubt you’re going to want to do much walking for a few days.
Your legs must be jelly from walking as far as you did to get here. ”
My head is spinning. He said he would marry me, and then he changed the subject. Maybe he realized it was a horrible idea.
Aaric waves his free hand through the air dismissively.
“Back to my proposal: I think we should get married. I promise I’ll do everything in my power to be the man you deserve.
I’ll treat that sweet baby like it’s my own.
I’ll make sure you’re safe and happy. If Vanguard comes looking for you, it will be too late. You’ll be married to me.”
That last part makes me sit straighter. It sure would be nice to have someone be a buffer between Presley and me if he comes here to drag me home.
Home? Ha. His cabin in the woods was never a home. It was a place I lived and marked time. Where I slaved day and night to take care of the old fart, cooking and cleaning with limited supplies and equipment. His homestead was in worse shape than the one I grew up in.
I told myself it could have been worse. At least he had electricity and running water, a bathroom, basic kitchen appliances, and a washer. My life would have been a lot harder if I’d had to wash clothes by hand and cook over an open fire.
Shuddering, I jerk my gaze back to Aaric.
He’s patiently watching me, and he smiles warmly again.
“You don’t have to make a decision right now, honey.
In fact, you never have to. It’s just an idea.
Well, I guess it’s more than an idea. It’s a suggestion.
A proposal. I haven’t asked you properly, though.
I’ll let you sit on it for the night and ask you like a gentleman in the morning. ”
He’s rambling. It’s endearing. I kind of love that he’s flustered.
Part of me wants to throw my arms around him and tell him yes right now. How could I ever turn him down? He’s the most perfect man I’ve ever met. I knew that when I was a kid. And he’s so handsome that my knees grow weak when I look at him.
His full beard is so soft. I know this because he keeps rubbing my knuckles against it. I bet there are a pair of dimples under it. He’s strong and broad and capable. He’s also smart. He’s educated. The man went to college. I never went to any school in my life.
I’m intrigued to find out that my sister has been studying and wants to get her high school diploma. I’m jealous. Maybe Aaric would let me do that, too. But what am I thinking? I’m about to have a baby. If I really keep the baby, like he’s suggesting, I’ll never have time for school.
Why would he want to marry me? I know I’ve asked this out loud, but it boggles my mind. I’m nobody. Just a waif of a girl with no education and ideas that are so backward that he keeps reminding me of it.
“I don’t have a single skill that would be helpful to you,” I blurt out, pulling my hand free of his touch and leaning back. I glance around his kitchen. “I probably won’t be able to figure out how to use any of your appliances to cook you a hot meal. I’m a burden, Aaric.”
He shakes his head. “You’ll never be a burden, sunshine. And I’m not asking you to cook for me. I suspect you’ve done enough taking care of someone else in the last few years to last a lifetime. How about I take care of you instead? You and the baby?”
I feel like the oxygen is getting sucked out of the room. I shake the cobwebs out of my head. “If I stay here on your land, I will want to earn my keep. Even if only for a while. Maybe I could clean or something.”
“You’re not cleaning, honey. You’re going to have a baby any day now. All your energy will need to go toward caring for the child. You’ll need to sleep when the baby sleeps so you can keep your own strength up. I’ll help you as much as possible, too.”
A hard kick from the baby makes me lean forward and cover my tummy with my full hand. I never mention when the baby kicks. Who would I have told before today? But I secretly feel peaceful every time I experience movement. It reminds me that the baby is alive and well.
“Is the baby kicking?” Aaric asks.
I nod, smiling.
He stares at my stomach and curls his fingers on his thighs.
“Did you…uh… Did you want to feel it?”
Aaric beams. “May I? You don’t mind?”
I shake my head and remove my hand. “Go ahead.”
This giant of a man, who just asked me to marry him, leans forward and sets his enormous palm on my belly.
He’s trembling. When the baby rewards him with a hard kick, he chuckles.
“That’s amazing.” He’s grinning from ear to ear, and he dips his head lower and speaks again as if talking to the baby.
“I can’t wait to meet you. I bet you’ll be a ray of sunshine like your mommy. ”
My chest is tight. He’s talking to my baby. In fact, he shoves his chair back, drops to his knees in front of me, and cups my belly with both hands.
Aaric looks like he’s in heaven. So reverent as if I’ve gifted him the world. “Oh!” He chuckles when the baby kicks again. It almost seems like he or she knows Aaric is here. He continues to hold my belly with his broad hands for long minutes, eventually closing the distance to kiss my stomach.
When he eases back, he looks at me. “Thank you. That was the best experience ever.”
My face is warm. I’m not used to people paying any attention to me and certainly not to the baby.
I’ve been alone with Presley for the entire nine months.
All he’s ever done is scowl. He’s been worse since he found out I’m pregnant.
Now he grumbles and scowls. Sometimes he points at my stomach and tells me horrible things.
“You’re not keeping that bastard.”
“What a hussy.”
“Such an ungrateful harlot.”
“It will never survive childbirth.”
“Don’t think I’m going to help you when you go into labor. I don’t know nothing about birthin’ babies. You’re on your own.”
He never once offered to take me to a clinic or find a midwife to come take care of me for the birth.
He gave no indication he cared if either of us lived or died.
In fact, I’m certain he hoped the baby would not survive the birth.
I’m sure he didn’t relish the idea of losing his personal maid, so I suspect he preferred that I not die.
Aaric cups my face. “Hey… Wherever your mind wandered, come back to me. The past is behind you. Your future is here.”
I lift my head from focusing on my belly and flush deeper.
“You need sleep, sunshine. You need all the sleep you can get between now and the birth.” He stands. “Let’s get you into bed.”
I love the way he takes both my hands and helps me stand. It seems like I’m more wobbly and unsteady by the hour. I don’t know how I managed to walk as far as I did for so many days. I think I was so desperate that I just kept going on sheer will alone.
I’m safe now. Aaric has assured me so, over and over.
“Can you get to the bedroom on your own? I’ll clean the kitchen and come check on you after you use the bathroom.”
Unable to resist, I lean into him and hug him. I could hug him for the rest of my life. It feels so good when he’s touching me. I hadn’t realized how deprived I was of human contact until I got here. Now I can’t get enough.
Aaric wraps his arms around me and holds me tight. “You’re safe,” he reminds me again. “Everything is going to be okay, honey.”
It’s hard to force myself to let go, but I do, and I turn and hurry from the room before he sees me crying again. I’m a giant ball of emotions today. The crying won’t stop. It’s embarrassing. I’m sure he’s tired of it.
In the bathroom, I find an unopened toothbrush on the counter. Aaric thinks of everything. I use the toilet, wash my hands, brush my teeth, and return to the bedroom.