60. Colson
SIXTY
COLSON
ONE MONTH LATER
Finn: How’re things going?
Colson: Don’t tell me you’ve been domesticated and are actually asking about my well-being.
Finn: Shut the fuck up and answer the question.
Colson: I’m fine, now get the hell out of my text inbox.
Finn: Whatever you say, Brother.
Sebastian tosses the controller on the coffee table. It skips over the polished surface and lands on the carpeted floor. I chuckle over his ensuing tantrum.
“The fuck was that for?” he asks.
“You were camping,” I tell him, clutching my chest in amusement.
“The hell I was. I was waiting until I figured out my next plan of attack.”
That makes me laugh harder. “Yeah, that’s the literal definition of camping.”
He turns, pointing at me with a look of accusation. “You were looking at the map, weren’t you? You only knew where I was because you cheated, you asshole.”
I toss my head back on the couch, laugh after boisterous laugh coming out of me.
Since being released from the hospital a month ago, I’ve stayed with Aunt Bess and Uncle Thad. I needed twenty-four hour care since I’m in a wheelchair. As much as I wanted to burrow myself into Violet’s pocket the day I was released and go home with her, I couldn’t.
I didn’t want to burden her with my injuries or having to help me to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Besides, it's been good for Aunt Bess and me to have time together. We’re slowly working on mending our relationship.
I’m finding my forgiveness when it comes to her keeping Clyde from me. The deal I made with him that he rescinded on helped a lot, showing me the type of person he truly is, even if I did already somewhat know. It put me in close proximity with him for a short amount of time. Enough for me to realize that she did right by paying him off to stay the hell away.
Sebastian has been keeping me company in between Violet coming over to hang out. We took it slow the first two weeks, but our relationship has definitely progressed these last few days. I can’t go more than an hour without talking to her. It annoys the hell out of me when she’s in class and her texts are sporadic in timing. Worse, when she’s at the daycare and can’t respond at all. But I stay patient because it’s who she is. Finishing college and doing something with her life is important to her. I haven’t told her yet, but I secretly look up to her because of it. How she hasn’t let everything that’s happened derail her like it did me.
It’s why I plan on registering at the closest community college as soon as I’m able to get around on my own. Gone are the days of succumbing to Harrison Heights and not being much more than a piece of gum stuck on the bottom of a shoe.
I want a life for myself that makes me proud when I look in the mirror. I want to be part of a bigger picture. One that doesn’t involve crime, paying people money, or drug addictions.
“What’s going on in here?” Aunt Bess asks, coming into the room with a plate of Sebastian’s favorite: M&M’s cookies. The fucker swipes the tower of them when they’re within reach and walks away, shoving one in his mouth. “Those are for the three of you,” Aunt Bess scolds.
“Three?” There’s only two of us, unless she’s counting Sebastian’s sore loser side of his normally easy-going personality.
“Yes,” she smiles down at me. “You have a visitor.”
Violet walks in from the foyer then, trailing around Aunt Bess like she’s done a million other times since I was released from the hospital. This moment is the best part of each of my days. Seeing her walk in after being separated all day, her mouth tipping up at the corners when she sees me. Her in those tight little leggings she wears all the time. She knows they drive me crazy, that I can’t do anything about it for another few weeks because I’ve been prohibited by my doctor.
My collarbone is almost in the green and fully healed. My leg still has a bit to go and remains casted. The second the doc gives me the go ahead with my shoulder, I plan on dragging her onto my lap, regardless of the status of my leg, and letting her straddle me for a solid hour. Maybe more.
Yeah, that’s exactly what I want—the real thing.
Violet in my bed, her wrapped around me, my hand smacking and kneading that juicy, delicious ass.
“Don’t trust him, Violet!” Sebastian shouts with a mouthful of cookie, crumbs flying out of his mouth. “He’s a traitor.”
“Ignore him,” I tell Violet, giving Seb my middle finger when his mom shakes her head and leaves the room. I think she likes having a full house again, Sebastian and me screwing around like we used to all the time as kids.
I grab Violet’s hand from my perch on the couch and steer her toward me. Sebastian grumbles and leaves the living room, too. Situating her between my legs, I gently pull her down on my lap and kiss her.
“Colson,” she says in warning, holding up half her weight. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You’re not,” I murmur, sprinkling kisses down the side of her neck and under her chin. “You’re perfect right where you are.”
“Where am I supposed to put my hands? Your collarbone isn’t healed yet.”
“It practically is,” I muse, running my tongue over the sweet spot behind her ear she melts over.
“It’s not. Oh, God,” she moans, my dick twitching from the breathy little moan she lets out. “Why are you doing this to me?”
This .
She means torturing her with my mouth. The same thing she’s done to me since she kissed me that first time in my hospital room.
“What’s the matter, Violet?” I rumble, willing her to tell me just how badly she wants me.
She pulls on my ear, but only because she’s afraid she’ll hurt me if she slaps my chest. I rear back, grinning up at her like a damn fool. Because I am one. I am completely smitten with this girl. Head over heels in love with her.
“You’re doing it on purpose. Trying to get me turned on in your aunt’s house. What is wrong with you?” she asks, a playful undertone in her words.
“A lot is wrong with me,” I comment. “But lucky for us, I know exactly what’ll fix it.”
She runs her hand down my neck and toys with the neckline of my T-shirt. My arm is still in a sling, so I use my other hand to grip her hip and drag her center over exactly where I need her.
Her eyes turn heady and her pretty lips part. “Well,” she lets out. “Are you going to tell me?”
I knead her waist. “Patience is a virtue, Vi.”
“Colson.”
“I was going to say…” I pause, drawing it out. “That my cure would be you on your knees, those gorgeous brown eyes looking up at me while you give me those lovely lips.”
She tilts her head to the side. I take it as an opportunity to lick my way up her throat. We haven’t gotten physical outside of her grinding on me once or twice since we made up. Every time I convince her to sit on my lap, she stays for all of a minute before she’s up, too afraid she’ll hurt me.
Yesterday, we made out for an hour and a half until my blue balls couldn’t take it anymore. She helped me into my wheelchair, and I rolled into the bathroom so I could finish myself off. It took all of two minutes.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” she muses in that flirty tone of hers.
“No, baby. I’d fucking love it. I fucking love you.”
She smiles against my lips when she comes in close to kiss me. My chest soars with the promise of a lifetime with her. I wouldn’t mind that. Spending the rest of my days with my heart in a similar shaped box, hers for safekeeping.
“It never gets old hearing you tell me that,” she whispers, running her tongue along the seam of my lips before flicking it against mine.
A fiery pressure builds in my groin.
I pull away. “You have me rock hard.”
She swivels her hips over me. “I know. I can feel you.”
“Ah, fuck, baby,” I groan, imaging what it’ll be like when I finally get inside of her.
She brings her mouth close to my ear, and my stomach rolls with the anticipation of what she’s going to say. I hope it’s something dirty. I hope she’s gearing up to tell me how goddamn drenched her pussy is or maybe that she can’t wait to be on all fours taking me.
My breaths turn shallow and my dick throbs in my sweatpants. She drags her weight over me again, and I nearly come in my pants from the contact—that’s how much I need her.
Her breath fans over my ear and she says, “I’m going to go see if Bess needs help in the kitchen.”
Damn it.
She’s up and off of me before I have the chance to grab on and keep her on top of me. “Why the hell would you go and do that?”
“Because she cooks for us every night,” Violet tells me, bending to give me one last kiss before sauntering away. I stare at her ass until she disappears into the kitchen. I don’t bother wiping the smile off my face once she’s gone.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this for you. Remind me again why I agreed to bring you here,” Sebastian grumbles from beside the car. I opened the passenger door as soon as he parked. I’m currently watching him struggle setting up my wheelchair. When he finally secures it, he rolls it over to me. It's been a hassle getting in and out of vehicles since I’m down a leg and arm, which is why he was the one I asked to bring me to Gulliver’s. Aunt Bess can’t hold my weight as well as he can.
“Stop bitching and moaning and help me,” I tell him as I reach for the door handle. He comes over to my side and lets me lean into him. He holds my good side as I swivel down into the wheelchair. He pushes the passenger door shut and toes off the wheelchair brakes.
“I should make you wheel yourself in just for the hell of it. Getting kind of tired of you bossing me around.” His tone drops as if he’s mimicking me. “Sebastian, do this for me. Sebastian, do that for me. Sebastian, take me to Gulliver’s.”
I grin at his antics, knowing for a fact it hasn’t been like that. If anything, he’s the one that pesters me. He’s just like Aunt Bess in that way. Always making sure I’m okay. I fucking love him for it, but still, I quip back, “Trash talking doesn’t look good on you, Seb, and it’d be an awful shame to lose a modicum of that charm you carry around. What would all the females do without it?”
“Shut the fuck up,” he jests. I’ve been getting on his case a lot lately when it comes to dating. Mostly because it’s been forever since the guy has had any female attention. He’s a ten out of ten, so I’m just wondering why he’s not more adamant about it like every other guy his age.
I guess, in the grand scheme of things, what I’m wondering most is when the time will come that he’ll meet his Violet. Someone who’s there to take care of him while he’s so busy trying to be there for everyone else.
Just to get on his nerves, I put my good foot on the ground, skimming my shoe on the pavement as he pushes me toward the entrance. It’s my newest favorite pastime since I’ve been in the thing for the simple fact that it bugs the hell out of him. My foot snags and slows us down.
The wheelchair skids, pulling to one side. My shoulders hunch in preparation for what I know is coming next—a slap to my head, aka Sebastian’s go to reaction when I pull this stunt on him.
“Ouch, what the fuck?” I chuckle even though it doesn’t hurt one bit. He always smacks me soft enough to get his annoyance across but never enough to harm me or my injuries.
“Don’t start with me or I’ll leave you here. Let Llewellyn deal with your ass.”
My brow arches as he gets me past the entrance door. “Then who would put up with your sore loser attitude at all times of the day and night?”
I can hear the smirk on his face when he replies, “Hmm, Violet wouldn’t be too hard to teach.”
“Fuck you.” I don’t really mean it but only because I know he doesn’t really mean it.
Once inside, Kelsie greets us from the other side of the front desk. She leans on the countertop, looking down over the edge with a wave. “Hi. Welcome to Gu—oh, it’s just you.”
“It’s just you,” Sebastian repeats with amusement. “What the hell did you do to her to get that kind of reaction?”
I ignore my cousin and nod my chin at Llewellyn’s niece. I admit that I could’ve been nicer to her in the past, but there’s no rewinding time now. “Hey, Kelsie.”
“Ah, so he does know how to say hello.” I don’t get to reply because in the next breath she informs me, “If you’re looking for my uncle, he’s back in the locker rooms putting a load of wash in because someone hasn’t shown his face in weeks.”
Damn. She almost strikes me speechless. I was expecting a shy, reserved Kelsie. The girl who waves as people come and go. Not this version with a sharp tongue and quips strong enough to riddle a guy with guilt and knock him on his ass. Maybe I was all wrong about her. Maybe she’s not as quiet as I thought.
Sebastian steps around the wheelchair. “Kelsie, is it?”
She nods, and I’m hoping like hell Sebastian gives it straight back to her. Instead, he grins at her. “What do you say we take you home with us just to help keep this one in line?”
Her forehead rolls with an emotion I can’t place since I don’t know her that well. “Um…no thank you?”
I roll my eyes. “Ignore him,” I tell her. “He’s not usually so…”
“Charming?” Sebastian supplies.
“No, obnoxious. We’re going to go talk to Llewellyn now. Let's go, Seb.”
“See what I mean,” he whispers at my back, surely for Kelsie. “Bossy. All the fucking time.”
I glance over my shoulder to see a small smile appear on her lips as he pushes me away. Pointing in the direction of the locker rooms, Sebastian deposits me inside when we catch sight of the man I’m here to see. Llewellyn knows I haven’t been medically cleared to work again, but I wanted to come see him, anyway. A lot has happened, and I want him to know how much I appreciate him trying to help me all those weeks ago. I also need to apologize for going MIA on him and not letting him know sooner about my accident.
Sebastian pats my shoulder, leaving me next to a bench, then walks back out to the gym area. I wouldn’t be surprised if he found his way back to the pretty redhead at the front counter.
“Colson, my boy,” Llewellyn greets, extending a palm to shake mine. He drops down into my space and gives me the best hug he can with the hunk of metal under me. “Wasn’t sure when I’d see you again.”
I drop my chin. “I know, I’m sorry I didn’t call you sooner.” After my accident, I waited a full two weeks before I called with the news. So, to him, it appeared like I just stopped showing up.
He sinks down onto the bench nearby. “Don’t fret. Your aunt called to let me know what was going on.”
I just stare at him because I had no idea she did that. Then again, it’s not that hard to believe. Aunt Bess has always had my best interests at heart. Now is no different, I guess. But also… “You didn’t mention that during our phone call.”
“I didn’t?”
“No.” I let out a laugh.
“Wanted to keep ya on your toes a bit.” I shake my head at him. “Ya know, help you learn from your mistakes and all that.”
I hum in response.
“Have you?”
“Have I what?”
“Learned from your mistakes.”
I suck my bottom lip into my mouth and make sure I’m looking him in the eye when I say, “Yeah, I have. Turns out rock bottom wasn’t what I thought it was. All those weeks ago when we talked about it…I thought I was there, but there was still room to fall.”
He crosses his arms across his chest. “And? Did it hurt when you finally landed?”
I motion to my body. The very one that’s still healing. “What do you think?”
“I think you never go through stuff unless you’re meant to learn some kind of lesson from it. It’s those experiences where you gain wisdom, Colson.”
I understand that now. I sacrificed my own happiness for a long time because of it. But I’m done doing that now. I’m ready for a new beginning. One that includes healing, Violet, and everything in my life that feels good.
Curiosity gets the best of me. “How long did it take you to pick yourself back up when you hit?”
“It’s not about the time it takes to get back up,” he explains with a contemplative gleam in his eye. “It’s about what you make of yourself in those moments and what comes after the resurrection. It’s about what it gives you.”
“Yeah? What did your resurrection provide for you?”
He looks at me for a long moment then stands. I almost don’t even think he’s going to give me an answer until his hand falls on my shoulder and he gives it a reassuring squeeze. One that I only ever thought I’d get from a father growing up yet comes from the man who has always given me his kindness and time.
I don’t recall ever really choosing Llewellyn that first time we talked. Not that it matters because he chose me. He chooses every person who steps foot in this place. And for the first time in my life, my mom’s struggles feel like a blessing. In some odd way, despite all the heartache and grief it caused, it gave me this man. A person I would’ve never known otherwise. A person who has helped me understand that I don’t have to be what I came from, that I can rise from the hardships a brand new person and do it in a way that brings peace.
I glance up when he doesn’t immediately answer. I’m met with his cauliflower ear and the side of his meaty neck. It isn’t until he shifts his chin down that I notice the mistiness in his gaze. “My resurrection gave me Gulliver’s. It gave me every single person who has stepped foot inside since I opened its doors. And…it gave me you.”
His words simmer in the form of a rolling boil inside of me when he heads back out into the main gym area. Not because I’m angry or anything. Outside of the little family I have and Violet, I’ve never had a person admit how much of a blessing it is to have me in their life.
My heart staggers, nearly face planting in my chest from the impact of his admission. I sit there and take it, allowing the love from his words to consume me in a way I normally push away. I relent, surrender, and accept it for what it is while telling myself it’s okay. I’m deserving enough to have people out there who care about me. People outside of Aunt Bess, Sebastian, and Uncle Thad.
When the door swings open a minute later, I expect to see Sebastian ready to wheel me back out to the car. But it’s Eli who does a double take, ignores me, and makes his way over to one of the lockers.
After my accident, I never did get a text or call from him asking how I was doing. It was radio silent where Eli was concerned, and I’m beginning to see how okay I am with that. Because I don’t want people in my life who turn their back on me as soon as life gets a little fucking hard. And I certainly don’t want someone who has ties to Tommy Lescaro in my corner. Not after the dude put a hit out on me and burned my trust to the ground.
“I don’t even get a hello?” I ask, resting my good hand on the wheel of my chair. “Or a, wow, glad to see you’re alive?”
He pops a locker door open, his tone emotionless when he repeats back, “Glad to see you’re alive.”
I lick my lips and drop my head. “I thought you were better than this.”
His back stiffens at my barb, his movement halting for a split second before he toys with something inside the locker. It’s hard to see what it is when the door and most of his body blocks my view.
“You don’t want to talk, fine,” I reply. I can’t force him to have a conversation with me nor can I expect him to show up for me in ways others have. Eli was always a means to an end for me. A way to get out the emotions that took over every ounce of my being. But I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t mildly sting that he doesn’t look me in the eyes as he dismisses me.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to warn him the same way Finn did me about Tommy. I have no doubt he’d step on his other fighters if the opportunity arose, but…Eli is a big guy. If he can write me off without the decency of acknowledging me as more than a simple glance, then so be it.
Sebastian pushes into the back room with the remnants of a cheeky grin on his face. He notices Eli in the room with me. He doesn’t have the pleasure of knowing the role he played in my life. That he was the one who got me into The Battleground. I sure as shit don’t clue him in now.
He walks behind me and grabs the handles of the wheelchair, pulling me back toward the door. “Ready to go?”
“Yeah,” I tell him, my eyes still glued to Eli’s back. “Get me the hell out of here.”