33. Chapter 29
Zoe
“You look beautiful, Lily. This is going to be an unforgettable evening.”
Damien opens our date with these words. I should have known that it wouldn’t bode well.
Ever since we got back from Ryker’s yesterday, I haven’t been able to shake this bad feeling.
My rejection of Eli’s proposal didn’t make him leave me. No, but you could sense a certain rift between us, a distance. He was silent, lost in thought. Right there, but not with me.
And I don’t know how to fix it.
I don’t want to lose him either. I love him. But more than that, I don’t want him to wake up one day in a marriage and think he made a mistake.
After a night when neither of us could sleep, Eli left for work in the morning. This time, Ryker confirmed that the transmitters were working, though Eli had always been the one to keep me secure. It makes sense that he needs time. I just hope this situation doesn’t drive us apart for good.
“You seem distant today,” Damien says as we drive. “Did something happen?”
My smile’s all fake. “No, not at all. What’s this surprise you mentioned?”
“Ah, I’m taking you to a special place. I hope you like it. How was your week?”
Shitty, that’s how. Out loud, I say, “Work and more work.”
Damien laughs. It’s not exactly a joke. “Just like mine. I think we should take a few days off and go somewhere fun and warm. What do you say?”
“Sounds great,” I lie, fighting the urge to gag. “As soon as I get my things together. How’s work going for you?”
“Vast changes are coming. It’s exciting and nerve-racking at the same time. There are also a few things I need to get out of the way.” He nods.
“That sounds mysterious.” I giggle and bat my eyelashes.
“You’ll understand everything soon; it’s going to be all over the news.”
Damien’s a master of verbal manipulation. He always has been. The ambiguity of what he says is his everyday language.
Finally, we arrive at the coast and get out. “A yacht marina?”
“Yes. Today’s an important day. I wanted it to be nice and romantic.”
My gaze stops on his face but sees nothing unusual in it. He’s trying to be charming, as usual.
Why do I have these strange feelings inside? Is it because of Eli? Yesterday’s warning?
I’m about to ask Damien what makes today such an important day when one of his men in suits approaches and says everything is ready.
“Perfect,” he praises, taking my hand.
We walk past the moored boats, each one more beautiful than the next. Everything screams money. Luxury that entices the wealthiest.
Darkside. That’s the name of the yacht we’re approaching. So fitting.
Damien lets me go first, and we climb the stairs onto the deck. Then he gives orders to his crew. After a short while, they toss the mooring lines onto the deck. My nerves get the better of me.
“Are we setting sail?”
I’m foolish now.
“Yes. I hope you don’t get seasick. We won’t go far, just far enough to be alone, to have a romantic dinner.”
This doesn’t sit well with me. Being on the water makes me feel unsafe, with no way out.
It’s too late now.
The boat hums softly as we pull away from the harbor and head out into open water. Under different circumstances, I would think it was lovely.
Damien’s phone interrupts us. He glances at the screen. “Sorry. I have to take this.”
He walks a few steps into the depths of the yacht, and I allow myself to breathe more easily. Dusk is falling, and the city lights twinkle in the distance. We’re leaving everything behind: the city, the hustle and bustle, the problems, all the people.
“Sorry. It was the boss,” Damien explains.
“The boss? At this hour?”
“Yes, Aisling is demanding. But I like my job. You could say I find fulfillment in it.” His arms wrap around my waist when he stops behind me. I’m grateful he can’t see my face.
For the first time, the name of Ryker’s sister has passed his lips. But that isn’t what puts me on high alert. He said she was his boss. Their suspicions were true. What I’d heard about guarding her around the clock, her being used as a hostage…
It wasn’t about her. Fuck.
“Let’s go up to the upper deck; dinner’s waiting.”
With my head full of swirling thoughts, I follow Damien.
The upper deck is lit by hanging lamps, creating a romantic mood. A round table set for two occupies the center.
“It’s beautiful,” I whisper. “Thank you, Damien, for bringing me here.”
“You’re welcome, my beautiful.”
Dinner is delicious. The conversation drifts to trivial topics. Every time I try to steer it toward something meaningful, I hit a wall.
Why did I agree to this last meeting? What else was I looking for? What kind of confirmation for myself?
The news about Aisling is valuable; I won’t deny it. There’s no doubt Ryker heard everything. But I had a different idea.
“I have a gift for you,” Damien says at the end of dinner.
He pulls a small box out of his pocket and places it in front of me. With a smile, I pretend to be surprised, yet charmed by the gesture.
I lift the lid. Inside, on a white cushion, are pearl earrings.
“They’re beautiful. Thank you, but you didn’t have to.”
“It’s impossible not to notice you always wear the same earrings and necklace. I figured I’d surprise you. See how they look.”
He noticed. Damn it. This isn’t good.
My body goes on high alert.
“Now?” I don’t want to take off the earrings Ryker gave me, but Damien’s giving me an expectant look. It might be too suspicious if I don’t.
“Why not? It’s as good a time as any. Unless you don’t like them?” he asks, raising his eyebrows.
“Of course I like them. They’re gorgeous. I’m sorry. I’m just not myself today.”
The corner of Damien’s mouth turns up. “It’s okay. It happens to everyone. Try them on.”
Uneasy, but with no choice, I take off my earrings and place them on the table. That way, at least Ryker will still be able to hear everything.
“How do I look?” I ask after fastening the pearls.
“Like a femme fatale.”
A strange comment, but I let it slide.
“Aren’t you going to thank me properly, Lily?” Damien’s low voice sends a fresh wave of goosebumps.
“I already did.”
“How about a kiss?”
My expression remains neutral.
Just a little longer. Hang in there. It’s almost over.
Rising from the chair, I grant his request and lean toward his lips. The moment our lips touch, I feel disgust. No. This has to end. I can’t keep this up when Eli…
Damien grabs me around the waist and pulls me onto his lap. I giggle, but we don’t break the kiss.
Before I realize what’s happening, he grabs my thighs and stands up with me. On impulse, I wrap my legs around his waist.
What now? What next? Think, Zoe.
“My purse and my earrings.”
“They won’t get lost here. Let them stay.” He kisses my neck.
What on earth have you done?
Damien carries me into the cabin, and I understand that this was all a huge mistake. His hands hold me tight. Too tight. I don’t like this.
A few steps farther, and he lays me down on the bed. His body immediately covers mine, and he doesn’t stop kissing my neck and cleavage.
“You know, I don’t think this is the best time for this. I’m not feeling well,” I say. I’m not sure if he hears me because he doesn’t stop. Quite the opposite, he tugs at my dress strap. My breast pops out. I feel exposed. “Damien?”
One of his hands wanders to my neck. My heart races—I’m almost certain he’s about to choke me like Owen used to, but no. He just grabs the pendant and yanks so hard the chain snaps.
“What the hell are you doing?” I cry out. “Give it back.”
Dark eyes fixate on the small object in his palm. “You won’t need it anymore.” He tosses the necklace over his shoulder.
I screwed this up.
Panic-stricken, I peer over his shoulder at where my last hope lies.
“What the fuck are you doing? Let me go right now!” I’m not even pretending to be nice anymore.
I try to break free from him, but he grabs my wrists and pins them above my head. With his other hand, he reaches for the remaining strap of my dress. In a second, I’m bare-chested, and he caresses my breast.
“Damien, what the hell are you doing? You’re hurting me. I’m going to scream!“
He pulls his lips away from my chest, and our eyes lock. Finally. Except my relief lasts about as long as nothing.
“You can scream all you want. No one will hear you. No one will come to your rescue. And Damien? We both know that’s not my name.”
What?
Fuck!
No, no, no!
He knows!
Thousands of questions flood my mind. I don’t know the answer to any of them.
Damien’s hips move rhythmically.
"No!" My eyes widen, and I swallow the lump in my throat. “Don’t do this. Please. I don’t want to.”
A rough hand reaches between my thighs and rips my panties off in one swift move. Once again, I try to break free, but he’s too heavy. He uses that same hand to unbuckle his belt and unzip his fly...
Tears well up in my eyes and stream down my cheeks.
“I beg you, don’t do this! No! No! Please, don’t!”
“I can’t believe I’ve had you within my reach for so long, Zoe Monroe.”
Between my legs, I can already feel his bare skin. A slight movement of his hips, and I feel his erection against my folds. But not inside.
“Don’t do this. I don’t want to. Please don’t go any further. Let me go—”
“You’ve played a significant role, Zoe. My hat’s off to you. But stop begging already; we both know what a ruthless son of a bitch I am. What’s my name, Zoe? Come on, tell me.”
His face is like a blank sheet of paper, bland and devoid of emotion. But in his eyes, I see madness. Or maybe that’s his true self.
Fuck! No!
Now I realize we’ve both been faking it this whole time.
“Well? What’s my name?” he yells right in my face.
“Zade!”
He exhales with relief, while I feel like I'm going to throw up. The bitter taste in my mouth grows stronger with every passing second.
“Exactly. Zade Damien Estrada. And I’m your worst nightmare.”
With a single thrust, he enters me all the way to the very end, and I let out a painful whimper.
The stream of tears I’m shedding seems endless, or so it feels to me.
No! I fucking hate him. Not this!
The pain between my legs hits me instantly.
I swallow hard and feel like I can barely breathe.
I hate him. I hate myself.
That doesn't stop this, and doesn't stop him.
He says something to me, but I don’t want to hear his voice. I don’t want to see his face either. I squeeze my eyelids tightly shut and allow myself to see only one face.
Eli. Eli. Eli…
Damien was right when he said he was my worst nightmare. Even though Eli’s face doesn’t pull me out of these clutches and I don’t wake up, it helps me escape somewhere far away. Not to look. Not to think. Not to feel.
Just his face.
Eli. Eli. Eli…
Damien—Zade— sits on the edge of the bed, elbows resting on his knees, face staring out at the ocean.
I’m in a fetal position, pressing my legs against my chest. Everything hurts, and I feel ashamed. Why? I don't know.
My hands shake as I pull a corner of the sheet over myself.
I don’t want him to look at me. I want to be invisible.
My head throbs from crying, and I’m feeling sick. And yet, it feels like it’s not me lying here. Like I’m watching someone else entirely.
But it's true.
Breathe in... Breathe out...
“How did you figure it out?” I ask quietly. The last thing I can do is ask the questions that are tormenting me.
He gives me a quick glance over his shoulder.
“How did I know it was you? You made a mistake with Owen. You see, I had to meet him that evening, after his fight. He never made it there. Before your boyfriend got to the club’s security footage, I got there first. Imagine my surprise when I saw the woman I’m dating on the footage.
It didn’t add up. So I got the guest list for that night.
I was even more surprised when Lily Montgomery wasn’t on it.
You used fake details. That set off a red flag in my head.
Because if this woman had at least two identities, how many more did she have? And which one was real?
“I’m no fool, and I checked you out right from the start of our relationship.
It seems you put a lot of effort into creating this entire persona and her documentation.
Nothing sparked my suspicion. After Owen, I asked someone at DHS for help.
A scan of your face told me everything I needed to know.
And to think I really wanted to build something serious with you.
That you were the only woman I didn’t treat like an object… ”
“That gift, the cat’s head, was from you,” I guess.
“Yes. From me. Did you think your little revenge scheme would work? I figured it all out as soon as I got confirmation of what happened to Nathaniel and Jeremiah, and finally to Owen.”
“Why didn’t you just kill me?” I don’t let up on the questions.
“Why? That would be too easy. Killing you would be too easy. I want you to live so that every day you remember… that you let me into your world. You’ll see in the mirror the woman who is her own archenemy.
You’ll hate yourself every single day, hate every inch of your own body. For what you did to them.”
We can agree on that much.
“They deserved it. You all deserved it.”
“It’s hard to disagree with you,” he says and shrugs. “I’ve always been a curious guy. And this time, you led me to your sister, who became the wife of the Pact’s leader, and to the rest of your friends. I just don’t understand why they let you do that.”
“They didn’t know,” I say, resigned. I’ve failed in every single aspect of my plan. I've failed them.
“Bullshit. Personally, I think you were supposed to spy on them, but it doesn’t matter anymore.”
I think I should ask why it doesn’t matter. I should be interested in that. I don't have the energy.
A single tear rolls down my cheek. Its warm trail marks me.
“You’re on the wrong side, Zoe. The Pact won’t protect you. You’ll suffer even more,” Damien warns me.
“Are you talking about Aiden wanting to join forces with you?” The words slip out before I can stop them.
He’s laughing so hard his head snaps back. And when the laughter dies down, he gets up from the bed, straightens his shirt, and finally turns back to me. Slowly, he sizes me up.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.
In fact, none of you have any idea what you’re talking about or what you’re up against. But I have to admit your suspicions are entertaining.
Anyway, we’re reaching the shore. A car is already waiting for you there.
The driver will take you wherever you want to go.
” He heads for the exit but pauses. “Oh, and Zoe, it’s better if we never meet again. ”
I’m left alone, and for a long moment, I can’t believe I can just walk away from here, that he won’t kill me.
That this nightmare is over. First, I pick up the necklace from the floor, then the rest of my things from the deck.
Without looking back, I leave this damned yacht, vowing to burn it down one day.