62. Chapter 61
She was barely able to catch up with the assignments she had missed while she was unconscious.
No longer having anything for her two classes with Abbott helped with that.
But she was pretty sure her other professors were taking it easy on her, given the fact that she was like a walking ghost. Her hair was tied in a tangled mess half the time.
Her eyes were dark, and she wore sweatpants to class.
Even Walsh took pity on her. Maybe he wasn’t used to having his assistant gone.
She didn’t know what happened to Silas. Maeve and Liam didn’t either, though they barely knew him.
When she asked Walsh, he said Silas had taken an academic leave of absence and that was all.
Outside of classes and barely sleeping, she spent all her free time in the smaller library in Sequoia Hall.
She told everyone it was so she could be prepared for finals, which was partially true.
But it was one of the few places where she could be free from the memories of Ezra.
Most of the time, she would either sit on the couch watching the fireplace or sit in the bay window and gaze at the forest.
It was hard enough sleeping in her own bed without thinking of him, and even her beloved plant, Lou, was affected by her absence. His leaves drooped and faded to a dull green. Surely the sound of her quietly crying herself to sleep most nights took its toll on the fern’s health, too.
The Sequoia library was small and cozy, with only two walls of books, a few desks, and a couple of old plush couches and chairs near the fireplace.
A painting of Sequoia National Park, which was outside an arcane border in the west, hung above it.
She was curled on the couch, watching the flickering flames in the fireplace when the cushion dipped next to her.
“Ivy,” Rhea said. “Are you…”
“No, I’m not okay,” Ivy responded. She pulled her attention away from the fire toward Rhea, who was still in all black with dark circles and messy hair. Hell, they almost matched with how little Ivy slept.
“I won’t stay for long,” she said, brushing a thick lock of black hair behind her ear.
“They told me you helped that night,” Ivy whispered, pushing herself off the couch pillow behind her.
“It was the least I could do after everything I’d done,” Rhea shrugged, as if it were nothing.
“It would’ve happened anyway. But with your help, Maeve and…
” Her voice faded as his name fell on her tongue.
She stared over at the quiet fireplace and sighed before turning to Rhea.
“They were able to find us. If you hadn’t shown up, I might not be here.
So don’t apologize. I should be thanking you. ”
“All I wanted was to help a friend.” Rhea played with the edges of her black sleeves. “Could we…be friends again?”
When Rhea’s past with Briar was revealed months ago, she wasn’t sure if she’d ever find forgiveness for it. But the secret was never only hers. It was also Briar’s, who seemed to have more locked away and never to be found out.
Ivy smiled softly and nodded. “I think so.”
Heavy footsteps padded along the wooden floor, and Liam burst into the library, panting as if he had just run there. He glanced between the two of them, trying to catch his breath.
Ivy’s brows curled as she turned in her seat. “What’s going o—”
“He’s awake.”
She paced outside the medical wing’s doors. “Why did I come here?” she muttered to herself. If she saw him again, she wasn’t sure if she’d break down in tears or scream at him. Neither would help her feel any better.
“Hey,” Maeve murmured as she hurried up the hallway. “You okay?”
Ivy shook her head. “No.”
“You don’t have to go in there.” She laid a hand on Ivy’s shoulder. “You don’t owe him a thing. What he did wasn’t right.”
“He saved my life,” she croaked, tears welling in her eyes, and they stung.
Her head ached from all the crying. God, there was no end to it.
She stopped pacing and swallowed roughly.
Her throat was dry, like when she woke up in there not too long ago.
“I know I don’t owe him anything. I just wish I understood why.
If he was trying to cover this all up…why wouldn’t he do the same to me? ”
Maeve was silent for a moment, glancing at the doors and back to Ivy. “You know why.”
He loved her. But if he did, how could he do something so terrible? How could he not tell her about any of it?
“And I think yo—”
“No,” Ivy said too quickly, knowing what Maeve was about to say. She knew it was true. She loved Ezra. So much that it was painful to bear. And it was a secret she would keep to herself.
“Alright.” Maeve squeezed Ivy’s shoulder. “How about we get out of here? Go get some lunch?”
“Sure.” She wasn’t hungry. But she also couldn’t be here.
As they turned away from the medical wing, the doors creaked open, and Ivy, sating her curiosity, peeked over her shoulder.
A pair of nurses strolled out with their jackets in hand.
Between the open doors, Ezra sat in his bed and stared in her direction.
Even from this distance, heartbreak was clearly strewn about his features.
Crinkled brows, bright blue eyes brimming with tears, and dimples missing from his lips curling into frown.
A sharp pain twisted in her chest, and she tore her gaze away.
“Coming?” Maeve asked, her focus bouncing between Ivy and the door.
Ivy swallowed roughly, pushing back the word ‘no’. “Yeah, let’s go.”