Chapter 36
Riley
“Where are we going?” Noah asks as I help him into his booster seat.
It’s almost seventy degrees out but he’s wearing a fleece and a hoodie and a beanie.
CF has a way of messing with regulation and the poor little guy is always cold it seems. Losing four pounds he couldn’t really afford to lose after surgery didn’t help.
“We are going to see Heather,” I say, rounding to the driver’s side of the car and getting in.
“Why do we need to see Heather?” he asks. “Am I going to be on camera again?”
“Maybe…” I say, my heart ticking nervously in my chest.
“What for?” he asks. He’s still grumpy from our blow out the other day. I’m hoping what I am about to say will change that, even if it does scare me. “I don’t have to talk about my wishes again do I?”
“No, baby. But you will have to put on your best acting smiles.”
“Acting?” he asks and two seconds later it clicks and I catch his hopeful little face in the rearview. “Wait! Do I get to be in the play?!”
“Maybe,” I say and the word isn’t even all the way out of my mouth before he freaks out.
“Yes! Thank you, mommy! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I’m going to do such a good job, you’ll see! And I’m going to try out for the best parts and–”
“Well, hang on,” I talk over him though it’s no use really. He’s exploding like a confetti filled balloon right now. “We still have to talk to Miss Heather and I want to make sure you’re healthy enough.”
“Oh, Mom. I feel fine. I’m plenty healthy. I can’t wait! Can you drive faster?”
“Noah, I have to go the speed limit,” I tell him as we stop at a red light.
“But this is an emergency!” he says, waving his arms with excitement and I have to smile. As nervous as I am, I have to smile. Then I tear up. My kid is finally getting to be a kid.
The theater is buzzing with kids of all ages, reading scripts and practicing in groups for the parts in A Christmas Carol.
It’s obviously going to be a shorter, less detailed kid version of it, considering the oldest kid in the Just Breathe group is sixteen and the youngest is four but all of the kids, regardless of age, are taking it very seriously.
Heather spots us from across the room and hops off the stage to greet us with a smile. “Hello! I’m so glad you made it!”
“Yeah, well, I was a little apprehensive,” I admit with a still unsure smile.
“I understand,” she says, touching my arm.
“This is amazing, though,” I tell her, looking around at the old refurbished theatre. “Did you have to pay to use it?”
“Nope,” she smiles, turning to stand next to me. “When I told them who we were and what we needed they actually jumped on it. I’m sure that’s thanks to Noah,” she says, scruffing his hair.
“All of the kids here are wonderful,” I say, smiling at too little girls as they scamper past us.
“Yes. But Noah has a way of inspiring the others. We wouldn’t be where we are right now if it wasn’t for his bravery.”
“Which part do I get to play?” Noah asks, looking up at her with excitement.
“Let’s just make sure it’s not too crazy,” I smile, squeezing his shoulders. Noah shrugs away from me.
“I can do it, Mom,” he says.
“I know you can, buddy but–”
“I think I know the perfect part,” Heather cuts in, giving me a wink. Then she crouches down to his level. “Have you heard of Tiny Tim?”
“Tiny Tim?” he scrunches his nose and I bite back a smile, knowing exactly where she’s going with this.
“Oh don’t like the name fool you,” Heather says warmly. “Tiny Tim is actually one of the biggest characters in the whole play! You know why?”
Noah shakes his head in response and Heather goes on.
“Because he overcomes so much! Even when he’s sick, even when he’s feeling kind of sad, even when everyone is worried about him, he still finds a way to be happy and make people smile and make the whole story better.”
“That does sound kind of like me,” Noah says and Heather laps. A tear escapes my eye and I quickly brush it away before Noah has a chance to see it. “I’ll be a good Tiny Tim.”
“Oh I believe it!” she says. “Let me find your script so you can practice with the other kids. Then you can take them home and practice there too. Practice, practice, practice.”
“I will!” he says and Heather stands up again.
Before she walks off I mouth the words thank you and she nods. And as I watch Noah with the other kids, I can’t believe how lucky we are.
After rehearsal is over, Noah and I head to the grocery store to grab a couple things for dinner.
Noah was insistent on making waffles, which I agreed to under the stipulation that we need eggs and bacon too.
If he’s going to drown his Eggos in maple syrup, he’s going to need some protein to offset it. Balance, you know?
We pursue the busy aisles, weaving in and out of people as we go.
Dinner time is the worst time to go grocery shopping.
For one, everyone is here so you’re constantly bumping into people and reaching for the same things.
And two, you’re hungry so literally everything looks good.
My stomach growls as the signature grocery store smell of fried chicken wafts through the air but I convince myself I don’t need it, a difficult thing to do given my love for fried chicken.
As we rush away from the deli, we turn a corner and I stop. At the same time, Noah’s face lights up.
“Cameron! Mommy, look! It’s Cameron!”
So it is.
This is what I get for stopping at a store near the theatre on our way home instead of going to the one by my house.
“Hey,” Cameron says apprehensively as Noah throws his arms around him. “Funny seeing you here,”
“We were at Avery Park Theatre,” I tell him.
“Oh. Watching a play?” he asks.
“No silly! I’m going to be in a play!” Noah corrects him. His arms are still wrapped firmly around Cameron’s waist and he is staring up at him with a smile.
“Oh…that’s right. I think I heard about that.”
“I was going to say no,” I say. “I was worried since he just got the surgery and all. But–”
“But I talked her into it!” Noah says. “And guess what?”
“What?” Cameron asks, smiling down at him. Every time his eyes dart up to mine though he looks apologetic. Panicked even. He clearly is surprised that we are here.
“I’m going to play Tiny Tim!”
“Oh wow,” Cameron pats Noah on the back and Noah finally releases him. “That’s a big part.”
“It is,” Noah says, pushing his glasses up the brim of his nose. “One of the biggest parts. At least that’s what Miss Heather says.”
“It is a very important role. And you’re going to do great, kiddo.”
“Thanks,” Noah smiles up at him. “Are you going to come?”
My stomach bottoms out.
Cameron’s smile fades a little and he looks down at Noah. Then he looks at me and holds my gaze for a moment before I tear my eyes away. But I can still feel him looking at me, his eyes on mine whether I am willing to meet his stare or not.
“Don’t worry, bud. I’ll find a way. No matter what, I’m going to find a way.”
We leave the grocery store and I can’t seem to get my bearings. Cameron’s words are playing on repeat in my head. Words that had a double meaning. Words that make my heart ache and scramble to protect itself.