Chapter 39
Riley
“Noah, honey, why don’t you come with me?” Brianna asks. “It looks like there’s a table with cookies and hot chocolate and even egg nog for everyone.”
“I love egg nog!” Noah exclaims, hopping up and down. “Mommy, can I?”
“Yes, baby. You earned it,” I say with little breath in my voice. Everyone is headed in the direction of the dessert table, leaving Cameron and I alone, facing each other with about three feet between us.
“What was that all about?” I ask.
“I wanted to tell everyone how Noah has changed my life. Changed me,” he says
I swallow. “Is it true? Are you…I mean…were you just being metaphoric or–”
“You haven’t checked your phone,” he says and I just stare at him.
“Checked my– what does my phone have to do with–” I argue but he nods at me.
“Check your phone,” he repeats.
So I do. Apparently, about an hour ago, Cameron sent a text. It’s a screen shot of–
“Your paternity test results,” I say.
“Yes,” Cameron answers.
I look down at the screen and bite my lips to hold back the emotion rising in my throat.
It’s not that I didn’t know. I did. I’ve always known, ever since I saw the tattoo.
Ever since I connected all the undeniable dots.
But something about seeing the test, about seeing it confirmed, it really solidifies it. Impossible or not.
Positive.
“You're his father,” I say.
“I am,” he answers with the same strangle in his throat as I am feeling. “I don’t know how but…I am.”
“It wasn’t a question,” I tell him, handing him his phone back.
“I understand. And I’m sorry,” he starts to say.
“Why did you refuse to get the test before?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest, like a barrier in front of my still wounded heart.
“Honestly?” he asks.
“I mean that would be ideal, don’t you think?”
“I was afraid," he admits.
“That he was yours?” I ask, my words punching out like staples.
“No,” Cameron answers sternly. His eyes are steely and brimmed with the threat of a storm.
“I was afraid that he wasn’t mine. Riley…
” He takes a step forward but I take a protective step back so he stops.
The storm in his eyes shifts to something softer.
“Riley, I wanted him. I wanted you. I wanted those ornaments to hang on that little tree. For us to be a family. God knows I’ve only ever wanted that. ”
“So why didn’t you admit to being the man from the rooftop?” I ask. “Why did you walk out on us? On him?” My words snag in my throat and I take in a shaky breath.
“Riley,” he says softly, daring to take another step closer.
But this time I don’t move. I can’t bring myself to.
We are at a post-children’s play party. I’m not about to fall the fuck apart.
And yet, here I am falling the fuck apart.
“I wanted to believe it. But I was always told it wasn’t possible. ”
“And you believed that?” I ask.
“Of course I did. I’m a doctor. Doctors rely on facts. Medical research. Things they can see and know to be true,” he tells me.
I tip my chin up. “But as a doctor you see things every day you can’t explain? Do you not? You see people get better who you never thought would. You see miracles. You see people overcome the odds.”
“But this isn’t the same as that,” he shakes his head. “My body can’t–” he starts to argue but I cut him off.
“You know, if I only believed in the things Noah’s doctors said he can and can’t do based on his body…
I would have died from devastation years ago.
Yet here we are. He’s healing. His first doctor, the one who delivered him, literally told me that he didn’t think Noah would live to see two years old.
Then three. And now, he’s almost six and look at him. ”
Both of us glance over to see Noah at a table with other kids, eating cookies and laughing and have the best day ever.
“There’s no such thing as can't,” I say. “We didn’t come as far as we have riding on the word can’t. Because right now, for the first time in years, I believe in the impossible.”
Cameron nods and holds out his hand. I look down at it, not sure where this is going. “Sit down with me. Please?” he asks.
After a reluctant moment, I take his hand and follow him over to the stage where we climb the steps and sit down on the floor right in the middle of it all.
“I do believe in miracles,” he says, turning to face me. Our knees are touching and he’s holding my hands in his lap. Meanwhile, everyone else is still mingling and enjoying the baked goods on the other end of the theatre. “I see things I can’t explain every day, especially in pediatrics.”
“So why did you refuse to believe that Noah could be yours?” I ask shakily. “And why did you deny being the man on the balcony?”
“Because I was afraid of taking the test. I love him. I love Noah like a son. And if I found out that he wasn’t mine, it would have killed me.
I’d question who the father was, if he’s trying to come back into the picture.
I also worried that if that was the case and Noah knew, he wouldn’t want me around.
“He does want you around. Either way, Cameron. He loves you,” I say and he nods.
“I see that now Riley. But you know what else I see?” he asks and I shake my head. “You. I see a beautiful, strong, spicy, sweet, loving woman. And I guess I was also afraid that if he wasn’t mine…you wouldn’t want me around either.”
With that, I actually laugh a little. It catches him off guard but I can’t help it.
“Cameron…I wanted you around. The way you were with Noah, the way you made him feel, the way you made me feel…once I realized you weren’t some cocky asshole doctor I spent every minute we were apart thinking about you.
About how much you’ve done for us and changed our lives.
I knew you were Noah’s father. Once I recognized you from the rooftop, I knew.
But even if you weren’t…” I run my thumbs over his hands as I look into his eyes.
“I would have wanted to be with you. I would have wanted you to be his dad. I would have wanted to belong to you. Because somewhere along the way…my heart fell for you. For real. Not because you were going to help us.”
“I love you,” he says and it’s odd because it’s both expected and a surprise. “I have loved you since the moment I saw you. Even if it was mostly your ass I was looking at,” he says and I laugh through the tears.
“Which time?” I tease.
“Both. The nurse costume and Mrs. Clause. Though the doctor in me definitely leans towards the nurse outfit. The whole Mrs. Clause thing is actually kind of weird to me.”
“Says the man who got drunk in a Santa suit,” I jab back and we both laugh.
Then we grow serious again. “I love you too,” I tell him.
Cameron smiles and then it fades a little and his eyes tear up. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I missed so much. I’m sorry I wasn’t there more.”
“It’s not your fault,” I tell him. “You didn’t know.”
“But I know now. And I am going to be there. Every day. For both of you. I love you, Riley. And I’m not going anywhere.
Tears are streaming down my cheeks now and I don’t even try to hide it. I just cover my mouth and stifle a sob.
Suddenly, Noah runs up to us. “Look what I found!” he says, waving a small branch in his hand.
“Is that what I think it is?” Cameron asks.
“Mistletoe,” I confirm as Noah stands over us, holding it above our heads. It’s then that I realize the whole room has quieted and is watching us.
A smile tugs on Cameron’s lips and he half shrugs. “Well. What do you say?” he asks.
“Yes,” I answer. “Yes to forgiving you. Yes to moving on. Yes to adventures and choosing each other every day and building our family and–just—yes.”
Cameron’s smile reaches his eyes in a full blown grin.
“Well, then come here,” he says as he pulls me towards him.
Our lips connect in a hot, electric kiss and I find myself melting against him.
With that, all my worries melt. My son is healthier than he’s ever been.
My career is finally on the path to liberation and success.
And the man who I can’t seem to forget about no matter how hard I’ve tried, is here.
He’s making promises. He’s showing up. He’s everything I ever dreamed I’d find but never fully believed I would.
And he’s in love with me. He said so himself. Twice.
And with that, the room melts away too, leaving only me and him and the promise of a thousand tomorrows together. All of us.