Chapter 19
JESSE
Yeah. Jacqueline knows something is up.
She had to. There was no way she didn’t. I’d practically bolted out of that pool like I’d just committed a crime, but shit. The fluttery feelings in my chest when I kissed her had scared the hell out of me. It wasn’t simple desire or lust.
I scrubbed a hand over my face, staring out the window of the jet as the island disappeared beneath us.
Last night in that pool, I’d completely lost my mind for a solid thirty seconds and then panicked like a teenager, and we probably should’ve talked about it, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to be the one to broach the subject.
That would mean saying it out loud and I just wasn’t ready to do that.
As a guy who generally owned every bad decision I’d ever made, this was uncharted territory for me, but fuck, my fake girlfriend was getting under my skin and I had no idea how to handle the complicated knot of emotions in my chest.
I should have never let myself cross the boundaries we had established. Now that I’d had a taste of her, I desperately wanted more.
But with elephant on the jet with us, neither of us said anything else either. For the entire flight back, she avoided me and I let it happen, burying myself in work instead. Focusing on anything other than the memory of her mouth on mine and how stupidly good it had felt.
By the time we finally landed, I was in motion before the plane’s wheels had even stopped moving. In a rush to get the contract over to the office before the ink was even fully dry, I packed up my laptop, and as soon as we came to a standstill, I was out of the door like a shot.
By next week, W&S would have another acquisition and I’d be able to focus on other things, like trying to figure out how to undo this absolute shitshow I’d produced by not knowing how to control myself for five minutes.
For now, however, I’d arranged for a separate driver to be waiting to take her home. He strode up to the plane when I felt her disembark behind me, quickly introducing himself before moving forward to collect her luggage.
My own driver opened the back door and I turned briefly to face her, rolling my lips into my mouth.
She didn’t even look at me before disappearing into the other waiting car, though.
A pang shot through me at the sight. I hated this, but at least neither of us had the opportunity to say something we couldn’t take back.
So instead of even saying goodbye, I just watched as she shut her door behind her, still not even sparing me so much as a glance. Through the lightly tinted windows, I saw her lean back against the seat and let her eyes slide shut. That was it.
Moments later, her bags had been loaded into the trunk and she was gone, the taillights of the car disappearing around the bend.
“Go,” I told my own driver after sliding into my seat. “We’re headed to W&S.”
“Yes, sir.”
I exhaled a harsh breath, not really wanting to think about the way we’d parted. Because if I did, I wasn’t entirely sure I wouldn’t go after her and that would only make things worse.
Even so, by the time I got to the office, I felt like the biggest idiot alive. Not only did I kiss my fake girlfriend, but now I’m obsessing about it. Stunning.
Nate and Zach were waiting for me when I walked in just after midnight on a Sunday morning, running on no sleep and too many thoughts I didn’t want to have. Since this was a major acquisition, they were both wide awake and grinning instead of asleep in their beds.
Zach took one look at me and mimed breaking into applause. “That was well done, Jesse. Seriously. In record time, too. Even Will couldn’t have done a better job.”
He grabbed the contract when I held it out toward him. Then he disappeared to start the gears in motion. I envied him a little right now, for how this was just a normal night when a big deal was coming in. Meanwhile, I was a fucking wreck.
Nate looked at me like he saw the turmoil inside me. After Zach left, he stayed exactly where he was, perched on the edge of his desk, just watching me like he knew something was going on.
“Are you okay?” he asked finally. “Because I’ll be honest, you don’t look great.”
I shrugged. “It’s midnight. We all look like shit.”
Was I okay? No. I hated myself right now. I was freaked out, still a little bit turned on, and so fucking confused about the fact that I couldn’t seem to just let the kiss go.
“I’m fine,” I added, feeling like he still needed convincing.
“No, you’re not.” He followed me with his eyes when I strode to the bar cart in the corner and poured myself a stiff drink. “Did something happen in Hawaii?”
I sighed. Objectively, Nate was usually the worst possible person to talk to about something like this, which made him the best person to talk to today. He was the most levelheaded person in our family, never spiraling or overreacting.
On a good day, he was emotionally lacking. On his worst? He was a fucking robot.
All of which made him exactly what I needed, so I jerked my chin toward the door without saying anything and he stood up, crossing the room and shutting it without question. When he turned back to me, his expression hadn’t changed much, but there was a flicker of interest in his eyes now.
“Okay,” he said simply. “Give it to me straight.”
I hesitated, which wasn’t like me at all, but this felt like stepping directly onto thin ice, knowing damn well it was probably going to crack. But I had to tell someone.
“Something happened in Hawaii,” I said.
“Did you finally try Spam? I love that stuff in Hawaiian cooking.”
“Well, I definitely tried something new,” I said. “Like kissing Jacqueline.”
Nate’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “Of course you did. Dammit, Jesse. Can’t you keep it in your pants for a couple months?”
“I kept it in my pants, thank you very much,” I said. “I only slipped a little with one kiss.”
“Well, I suppose that’s not the end of the world.” He paused. “As long as she’s still good with things.”
I shook my head and shrugged. “Things are definitely tense now. I’m worried I screwed the deal up by crossing a line.”
Nate sighed. “Well, you can keep worrying yourself sick or you can just talk to the woman. See where the two of you stand.”
“As if it’s that easy,” I said, frowning.
“I didn’t say it would be easy,” he said. “It’s simple but not easy. But that’s the price you pay for letting your little head do the thinking for you.”
“I showed a heroic level of restraint after that kiss, just for the record.”
His eyes narrowed on mine and he looked at me for long enough that I wondered if he was going to call me out, but he didn’t.
“For now, my advice is for you to go home and sleep on it. Everyone makes better decisions after a good night’s rest. With the kiddo, I’ve forgotten what good sleep is like, but you can sleep for the both of us. ”
I smiled faintly. “I’ll try my best.”
Nate nodded. “Alright. I’ll see you on Monday.”
“Yeah,” I muttered.
Monday. At least that gave me a day to figure out how the hell I was ever supposed to look Jacqueline in the eye again.