Chapter 39
JESSE
Alex and I hadn’t taken a walk together in God only knew how long. This casual, let’s-discuss-our-feelings-while-strolling bit felt strange. Like we were both emotionally available, which neither of us had ever been accused of.
Historically, I preferred my emotional revelations to happen when there was alcohol involved, and as far as I knew, Alex liked his to come with a side of family drama, but here we were.
He’d called and asked if I wanted to bring Cameron to the park with him, and since my niece and nephews were fast becoming my kryptonite, I’d agreed.
“This is weird,” I said as I shoved my hands into my jacket pockets. “Why are we here?”
Alex didn’t even look at me, too busy keeping an eye on Cameron chasing a butterfly. “We’re catching up. I thought you’d like to keep us company at the park, is all.”
“Are you sure there’s no crisis at the office or maybe a family emergency?”
He finally glanced at me and smirked. “Well, not right now, but give it time. I’m sure something will happen in a minute or two.”
“I can’t decide if you’re being sarcastic.”
He shrugged. “Some days are more eventful than others, but there aren’t many that are actually calm.”
I looked at him then, feeling like I was really seeing him for the first time in a long time, and I suddenly noticed things I’d missed before. Slight crow’s feet starting around his eyes. A flash of silver at the very roots of his hair at the temples.
“It’s been harder on you than you’ve been pretending,” I commented before I could think the better of it. “Taking over from Dad as patriarch, I mean. You’ve been acting like it’s all just part of the way things are, but it’s taking its toll.”
He blinked a few times in rapid succession, clearly surprised by the observation. “It is just part of the way things are, but sure. That still doesn’t mean it’s been easy.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“What’s there to talk about?” he asked, giving me a one-shouldered shrug before he turned back to Cameron.
“It is what it is, Jesse. Dad’s living his best life out there in Florida, and that’s even when he’s not traveling to some remote, luxurious beach destination like the Maldives, and in the meantime, someone has to keep it all going.
I’m the oldest, so I get to be the bad guy now. All in a day’s work.”
“You can’t love that.”
He scoffed. “I really fucking don’t, but someone’s got to do it and if it has to fall on anyone’s shoulders, I’d rather it be mine.”
“Spoken like a true martyr.”
He rolled his eyes at me, silent for a beat before he dipped his head toward his son.
“If it wasn’t for him, for all of them, I’d have said screw it, let’s not do it, but I can’t.
The way we’ve done things for decades has brought us to where we are now.
Changing it up is a risk I’m not willing to take, especially not when Cam, Emma, and Little J will have to live with the consequences of my decisions. ”
I thought it over for a minute, really actually trying to put myself in his shoes for a change.
For well over a century, the Westwood family and the company we’d started had been going from strength to strength.
While our relatives overseas couldn’t really say the same thing, we’d remained rock solid for all these years.
The company flourished from generation to generation and so did our personal wealth. All of which, according to our fathers, at least, could be attributed to the fact that we stuck to tradition and focused on protecting what we had before we turned to building on it.
While I hadn’t always agreed with all of it, even I couldn’t deny that the recipe had clearly worked so far. We were all extremely fortunate and it was because Alex, and our fathers before him, and theirs before them, had hunkered down and done what they’d had to do.
It couldn’t be an easy burden to carry and honestly, if I was in Alex’s shoes, having to think about my little niece and nephews’ future, I wasn’t sure I’d have had the balls to gamble either.
“Jacque says it’s over between us,” I heard myself say before I’d even really decided to do it. “She thinks we can’t go any further than we already have.”
Alex was quiet for another second before he looked at me again. “What do you think?”
“I think she’s wrong, but she doesn’t see a future with me.
” I exhaled a long, slow breath, fighting the wince that wanted to come along with admitting all of this out loud.
“She’s not convinced that I won’t get bored with her once I finally realize that she apparently doesn’t have anything to offer the family. ”
“Will you? Get bored, I mean.”
I shot him a look. “Really?”
“It’s a fair question.”
“No, it’s a stupid question that you’ve asked me before.”
“If it was so stupid, you’d have answered it by now.”
I grunted, but he wasn’t wrong. “Would I normally come on a walk with you and voluntarily spill my guts?”
“No.” He called Cam back when he started running too far ahead of us, waiting for him to circle back before looking at me again. “What’s your point?”
“That I’m not going to get bored or just move on. I know exactly what she brings to the table and I also know that it’s not Thayer Steelworks or even the Hinds account like Kate, but none of that matters to me.”
“You just want her,” he concluded after studying me for a second. “I get that, but have you told her?”
“Yep. Unfortunately, she doesn’t believe me.”
Cameron suddenly changed direction and took off like a small, chaotic comet across the park. We rushed after him, but when he paused to inspect something in the grass, Alex sat down on a nearby bench and motioned for me to join him.
“What are you going to do about it?” he said after I’d planted my ass on the cold metal beside him. “You do have a plan, right?”
“That’s another reason why I agreed to come here with you today,” I admitted. “With her out of the picture, I know the plan for the Gala has probably changed, so I figured I’d better find out where that leaves us for now.”
“You mean where it leaves Zach?”
I nodded. “As much as I want to go rogue and just go after her, I can’t unless I know he won’t be the one paying the price for it.”
“That’s surprisingly responsible of you.” Alex’s mouth twitched into a sort of smile, sort of grimace. “Whatever you choose to do, it’s on you, Jess.”
“I don’t even know what that means.”
“It means that Jane told me to lay off.” He chuckled, his head shaking before he leaned back on the bench and spread his arms out on the backrest like this was his personal kingdom. “Her exact words were to ‘stop interfering and let things happen as they will.’”
My eyebrows shot up. “That must’ve been painful for you to hear.”
“You have no idea.”
A tiny seed of hope started sprouting in my chest. “What about the media?”
“They’re currently less interested in Zach’s prior relationship with the heiress and more interested in you being perpetually single. Again.”
I groaned. “That’s fantastic. I love that narrative for me.”
“It’s a popular one.”
“Yeah, but it’s not an accurate portrayal anymore and it’s definitely not going to help me convince Jacque that I’m serious about her.”
Unfortunately for me, Alex didn’t argue, which meant that he knew I was right.
Which really, truly sucked for me, because neither of us could stop the press from reporting what they were, but while they were getting so excited about me being single again, Jacque would keep reading all about me as a playboy.
Naturally, that would only serve to reaffirm a belief she already held. A belief she was already clinging to like dry grass to a wool blanket.
“What do I do?” I asked, figuring I might as well use our bizarre moment of emotional availability to get some advice from my happily married big brother.
Alex stared straight ahead of him, like Cameron inspecting a seed or maybe an ant was the most interesting thing he’d ever seen, but I also saw the thoughtful furrow of his brow. Eventually, he sighed and glanced at me again.
“Look, I won’t lie. The narrative as they’re spinning it right now helps Zach, but they’re going to keep spinning it for the time being anyway. At least until you give them a reason to talk about something else, but either way, the attention is on you.”
“Yay.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, I know, but the point is that they can rehash everything you did years ago until they’re blue in the face. As long as you don’t give Jacque any new reasons not to trust that you’ve changed, she should see that all they’re doing is peddling old bullshit.”
My eyebrows slowly crept up. “So all I have to do is keep it my pants?”
“It’s that simple.” He suddenly laughed before he sighed. “If that’s simple for you, that is, but sure. If you can manage to keep it in your pants and shift their focus to your newfound responsibilities as COO, then she shouldn’t have reason to doubt your word.”
“What do you mean if?” I huffed out a breath. “Obviously, I can keep it in my pants. I’m not an animal. How do I make them report boring things about me being a COO instead?”
“There’s a party in New York this weekend,” Alex said. “Start there. W&S has to go, but I can’t be there to represent the company. Nate offered. He thought he and Kate could make a weekend of it to go see her parents, but they could do that anyway. You should go.”
I frowned, waiting for the speech that usually followed an invite like this. The lecture about being on my best behavior. The reminders that I would be representing the family and ,as such, I should try not to embarrass us or not to get arrested, but he didn’t say anything else.
Instead, he just kept staring at Cameron and I straightened up a little. “Wait, that’s it? There’s not going to be a lecture?”
“Nope. No lecture.” He shook his head. “Will and Eliza will be arriving soon for the Gala. By the time you get back, everyone will be here, so all I’m going to say is try to come home well rested enough for the full family reunion.”
I nodded. “Yeah, alright. I’ll go. I could use the break.”
“Attaboy.” Alex seemed genuinely relieved, exhaling a heavy breath before he stood and jerked his head toward Cameron. “Come on. We should slowly start making our way home before it gets dark, and before he realizes what we’re up to. He’s never quite ready to go home yet.”
I chuckled, but honestly, it felt good to talk to Alex like this. To be included in his little family’s life in a way that felt normal, and it really helped to know that Little J would also be here by the time I got back from New York.
A few days later, I was at the party, apparently celebrating some big company’s new director. They did business with W&S, and although I didn’t know anyone here, I was doing my best to fit in, network, and play my part.
The venue Alex had sent me to had low lighting, expensive finishes, and a bar that stretched along one entire wall. I leaned against the counter, nursing a drink while I took a short break from making random small talk.
“Another?” the bartender asked when he’d circled back around to me.
I glanced down at my glass, realizing I’d need a refill soon after I got back out there anyway. “Yeah. Why not?”
He slid a fresh one my way and I nodded my thanks, leaving it where it was for now as I scanned the room, intent on choosing my next victim. It was a good crowd, every single person in here well connected.
A beautiful woman sliding into the spot next to me at the counter interrupted my focus for a minute. I glanced at her, not surprised that she was exactly the type I’d have taken back to my hotel room mere months ago, a blonde with striking features and legs that were at least two miles long.
Obviously, the universe was trying to tempt me, but I barely even looked at her. Or the friends standing right behind her. I just wasn’t interested.
Instead, I turned back to the room and I was trying to decide between the CEO of a company I knew Alex wanted me to woo and a CFO Nate had asked to me to talk to when a soft, familiar laugh drifted to my ears.
As soon as I heard it, my entire brain just stopped. Everything else in the room faded out instantly, every other noise dulling to a distant hum.
No. No way.
I turned on instinct, like a puppet on a fucking string, and there she was. Jacque.
She stood across the room, her thick dark hair falling over her shoulders in soft waves. She wore a deep red dress that hugged her in all the right places, instantly making me want to tear it off her.
Holy shit.
She looked unbelievable, even just standing there, talking to some old woman. It was like the old woman wasn’t even there, though. Not to me.
Relief, shock, and want all tangled together deep within, making it hard to breathe as I watched her.
I didn’t know just what the universe was playing at tonight, bringing us together here, in a different city and the last place in the world I’d have expected her, but I couldn’t say I was opposed to it.
After a whole week of not seeing her at all, I’d take it. Even if it was probably going to end with either nothing—or her taking my heart and ripping it out all over again.