Chapter 40
JACQUELINE
New York was a big city. A massive one, actually. Every single day, millions of people moved through it, living entire lives I would never touch or intersect with, and yet, out of the thousands of men who could’ve been taking up space at this bar tonight, there he was.
Jesse fucking Westwood.
Looking right at me with those hungry eyes I knew so well.
My breath caught when I saw him, my fingers tightening around the stem of my glass. I shouldn’t have been surprised he was here, or that he was surrounded by women, all of whom seemed to be vying for his attention, but somehow, it caught me utterly off guard anyway.
Jealousy swelled up like a beast rising from the depths of my soul at the sight of him looking as handsome as always, but with other women keeping him company tonight.
Abruptly, I tore my gaze away and tried to ignore the stabbing jealousy and the intent desire to go over there, deciding instead that I was absolutely not doing this.
I wasn’t going to stand across a crowded room, having some kind of silent, emotionally charged moment with my sort-of ex like we were in a movie. We’d ended things. It still hurt and I still wished it hadn’t been necessary, but he and I were over.
Yet, my brain betrayed me immediately. Because I dream about those eyes. Every night.
“Jacqueline?”
I blinked hard as I snapped back to reality, remembering that I’d been speaking to an elderly client of our firm and some of her friends. “I’m so sorry, Mrs. Evans. Did you say something?”
“Oh, no.” She waved me off. “Don’t worry, dear. Are you alright? You’re looking a bit pale of all of a sudden.”
“I’m fine,” I lied, forcing a smile to my face. “I just saw someone I thought I recognized.”
She laughed. “That happens to me all the time. These things are so exhausting that even one’s eyes eventually start playing tricks on you.”
I nodded, pretending to tune back into the conversation between her and our group, but it was like I could feel his eyes on me. It burned into my skin, a tingling awareness that he was tracking me no matter where I went or who I spoke to.
I didn’t look back at him, knowing exactly what I’d find if I did. He would still be watching me and I didn’t trust myself with that. Especially since evidently he was already moving on, utilizing the party as an opportunity to pick up women.
So I laughed when I was supposed to and contributed just enough to every conversation not to be accused of having been completely disengaged this evening.
I was so intent on pretending none of what Jesse was doing bothered me that I lost track of how long I’d been here, how many conversations I’d half-listened to, and how many times I’d had to stop myself from turning around.
Until eventually, I just couldn’t do it anymore. As the evening progressed, I’d kept feeling his eyes on me and it was starting to drive me to tears. Jesse, with that disheveled dark hair, his collar somehow already undone, and the casual ease with which he moved, was just too close.
At all times.
“I’m going to get some air,” I said, stepping away from the latest group I’d been part of before anyone could question me.
I slipped away quickly, weaving through the crowd until I found a quieter section of the venue. It was less crowded here, a smaller conference room away from the makeshift bar area that had been constructed overlooking a balcony.
Striding over to the railing by the window, I gripped it tight and exhaled slowly, finally letting my eyes slide shut to focus on my breathing. Get. It. Together, Jacque. You’re the one who ended things. You’re the—
“Are you seriously running away already?”
Everything in me went still at the sound of his voice so close behind me. I should’ve known he’d see the moment I made a run for it and follow me, but I turned slowly anyway, half-hoping that perhaps I’d imagined it.
No such luck.
Jesse stood just a few feet away, his thumbs hooked into his pockets, looking exactly the same as he had a week ago and completely different all at once. There was something strangely tired about him tonight, but he also still looked perfect.
Naturally.
“I’m not running,” I said, even though that was exactly what I’d been doing.
Jesse didn’t respond one way or another, not nodding or arguing. He simply shifted his weight on his feet and looked at me again, his head tilting slightly as he held my gaze. “I didn’t know you’d be here. If I had, I wouldn’t have come, Jacque. I’m sorry.”
There was something so careful in his voice that my heart ached just hearing it. Jesse was never careful with anyone, yet now, with me, he was. Gosh, that hurts.
I frowned though, not about to ask him why he was suddenly treating me worse than a complete stranger. “My presence will never preclude you from attending a function, Jesse. It’s for work.”
“Yeah, well, I still wouldn’t have come,” he said easily. “Are you doing okay?”
“This is going to keep happening,” I said instead of lying straight to his face about being alright.
“Our paths are going to continue to cross. Your company is a client of my firm. So is your sister-in-law’s.
So are those of many others in your social circle.
For as long as that is true, we’re going to end up at the same events on occasion. ”
His gaze didn’t waver from mine. “I know. This isn’t a one-off.”
“No, probably not.” I let out a slow breath, trying to steady myself even though it felt like I’d been knocked completely off balance. “I was invited here with my firm. I’m guessing you were invited with W&S.”
“Yeah, but still.”
For a second, the words that we were tied by fate sat right there on the tip of my tongue, but I swallowed them down before they could make it out. It was completely out of character for me to be quite that dramatic, but lately, I wasn’t entirely sure who I was anymore.
Not when it came to him.
“Exactly,” I said, clearing all those other words out of my throat when they tried rising again. “This is just how it’s going to be from now on, I suppose.”
He didn’t say anything right away, but standing this close to him was difficult for me as well. I imagined it had to be at least a little weird for him too. It was downright unsettling, how deeply I felt for this man, if I was being honest.
My trust issues weren’t something I’d ever really thought about before. Not until my entire heart had been taken up by him. I let out a quiet breath, looking away for a second when his gaze became too intense.
I’d never known love like this before. The wanting kind that didn’t just sit quietly, but demanded space, attention, and acknowledgment. A deeply rooted yearning I doubted would ever fully go away.
But he was Jesse Westwood and I was no one. I could never let myself forget that. No matter how big the lump forming in my throat.
“Where are you staying?” he asked, his voice pulling me back out of my thoughts.
I blinked hard. “What?”
He hesitated, like he’d already decided he shouldn’t have asked. “I just… I’m sorry. Forget it. I was just going to make sure you get home okay.”
My heart tried to throw a freaking parade about the fact that he still cared. Even after everything. But I refused to let it get excited. He’d always been good to me. That was all this was. Deep down, Jesse was a genuinely good person.
“I’m across the street,” I said, nodding vaguely in the direction of the hotel. “It’s not far.”
He nodded. “Okay. I can walk you.”
It wasn’t pushy or insistent, and that was what made me say yes. The smart thing to have done would’ve been to say no and keep my distance, but despite everything I’d spent the last couple weeks telling myself, I still wanted the extra few minutes with him.
“Okay,” I said, turning toward the exit. “It’s this way.”
He fell into step beside me as naturally as if we hadn’t just spent a week apart, pretending it would be easy to walk away from whatever this was. And me?
I just walked beside him, hyper-aware of every inch of space between us—and even more aware of how quickly it could disappear.