17. Emmy
SEVENTEEN
Emmy
Istare at Hattie, who’s been avoiding eye contact with me since she said the words aloud that I’ve been thinking for weeks.
I want to say something to ease the tension.
I know what I should say. It’s the same thing I’ve been telling myself for weeks: we can’t do this.
But I also know what I want to do. My hands are covered in pumpkin, but that doesn’t stop me from touching Hattie’s chin and making her look at me. Her eyes widen, but she doesn’t speak.
“Kiss me, and we can both pretend it doesn’t mean anything,” I say quietly, her face only inches from mine.
She doesn’t answer; instead, her lips melt into mine.
The same intensity of the night we met, mixed with the smell of pumpkins.
Both our hands are a mess, but neither of us seems to care because right now all I’m thinking about is how much I’ve wanted this.
Her body presses into mine, and I groan into her mouth.
How many times have I admired her from afar while knowing exactly what I was missing out on?
“God, we shouldn’t do this,” she moans, making me pull away. “What are you doing? Just because we shouldn’t doesn’t mean I don’t want to.”
Hattie pulls me back in for another kiss; this time, her tongue slips to meet mine. I’m worried about where to put my hands until she grabs my breast, and I no longer care where this pumpkin stuff gets.
She palms my breast in her hand, and I moan, thankful I didn’t bother putting on a bra. She must notice it at the same time because she moans into my mouth. I quietly shush her and use the opportunity to kiss her neck.
“Holy fuck.” She moans again. This time I put my hand over her mouth. She laughs, probably tasting the pumpkin.
“You need to be quiet,” I mutter into her ear, stopping to bite the bottom of her earlobe.
“Mmm,” she hums softly.
“Much better,” I whisper and take a nibble at the side of her neck.
She pulls her lips to mine again, kissing me harder.
Her left leg wraps around the side of my thigh, and I use my strength to pick her up.
She gasps, holding on to my neck while she kisses me, and I place her on the island.
I don’t bother looking where I place her; we are both going to need a shower after this anyway.
Hattie spreads her legs, and I stand between them, our chests pressing together as she sucks on my bottom lip.
My hands go for her ass, as she slides her hand under my shirt.
I squeeze her ass tightly, pulling her body closer to me, letting her wrap her legs around me.
Her tiny whimpers and gasps as we kiss only fuel the fire between my legs.
It hasn’t even been that long, but something about being with her makes me want to let go.
She rocks her body against mine, and I feel the heat of her core through those tiny shorts she’s wearing.
As she rocks forward, her ass is in my palms, making it known she’s not wearing any underwear. We’re trying our hardest to be quiet while I’m wondering which bedroom we should move this into.
“Mom?!” Ollie calls, breaking us apart like a bucket of ice water splashing between us.
“Coming!” Hattie yells back, then blushes. “I mean, be right there!” She jumps off the counter, rubbing her hands on the towel nearby, and races upstairs.
The moment between us is over almost as quickly as it began. I clean up as much as I can, waiting for her to come back down. But when it’s almost an hour later and I don’t hear her anymore, I take that as a hint and call it a night.
In the morning, I’m awake before Ollie and Hattie, but I hang out in my room until I hear Ollie is awake.
I don’t want an awkward encounter with Hattie, and I can’t risk a repeat of last night.
I replayed the moment over and over in my head.
Everything happened so fast and then she disappeared after Ollie’s call.
I guess she just went to bed. She didn’t even bother to come downstairs and clean anything up. I guess she thought she’d leave that to the help. It’s left a bitter taste in my mouth.
I know it was a bad idea, but I didn’t think she’d leave me feeling so cheap. I threw out the pumpkins in anger, not even giving her a chance to carve them.
“Hey,” Hattie says, pulling me aside. “Can we talk?” she asks, whispering.
“We’re good.” I shrug, hoping she’ll take the hint.
“I really think we—” she starts.
“We’re good,” I say. “I told you last night, kiss me and we can pretend it never happened, no need to discuss it.”
“Okay.” She sighs and heads out the front door.
Swallowing my pride, I force a smile on my face and head back to Ollie. I had promised him I’d take him into town to the bookstore and check out some new books. He’d already flown through the ones Hattie had me pick up, so first we are dropping those at the library and then visiting the bookstore.
Hattie has left me a list of books she needs for homeschooling him as well, so I tuck that into my jacket and head for the truck. It is raining harder than expected today. Neither of us bothered to grab an umbrella, but at least Ollie has his raincoat on.
We park as close to the library as possible, running in and out once we get the coupon for the bookstore. Then we get back in the truck to get a parking space closer to the bookstore. Literary Leaves is quiet today, with only the sound of the bell dinging and Gigi’s music behind the counter.
“Hey! How’s it going?” She grins when she sees me. “I didn’t know you knew my friend, Ollie.”
“I didn’t know Ollie knew you.” I look down at Ollie, who smiles.
“She’s Gigi, the bookstore lady,” Ollie says.
“Oh! Lady? Dude, we talked about this. Lady makes me feel old, and I’m only…well, I’m not telling you that. But I’m for sure not old, okay? So please, call me your bookstore bestie if anything,” Gigi teases.
“Okay,” Ollie says, giggling. “Can I go look for my books now?” he asks, looking up at me.
“Go for it.” I nod.
Ollie heads to the back, and Gigi looks at me. “How’d you get paired with the kid?”
“I’m his new nanny,” I explain.
“Ah, and that’s why you’re sticking around.” She nods in understanding. “I saw your dad’s place up for sale, but then I saw it sold awfully quick. I thought you ran out of town or something.”
“Nope, just the opposite. Thankfully, his mom let me move in, or I’d be homeless.” I wince internally thinking about Hattie. I am doing my best to avoid thinking of her right now.
“Ah, well, I’m glad you’ve decided to stick around. We’re having our monthly book club meeting next week if you wanna join. It’s super chill, and I’ve seen how fast you read, so I’m sure you can catch up in time.” Gigi smiles.
“What’s the book?” I ask curiously. I glance toward the back, keeping an eye on Ollie as he looks around. The store is empty, so I feel comfortable seeing his dark curls from afar.
“One City Night by Margo Pepper. Have you read her other stuff?” Gigi asks, pulling out the book from the bookshelf behind her.
“Ugh, she’s one of my favorites. How can you not read her books?” I groan. “I didn’t even know she’d released a new one.”
“It came out at the beginning of the month. Should I add a copy to your purchases today?” Gigi asks.
“You know, you really should work in sales where you get some sort of commission; your talents are wasted in book sales,” I tease.
“That means yes.” She laughs and puts the book on the counter. “Don’t worry, it’ll be fun, and we get coffee and pastries for free from the bakery.”
“Sounds good, let me go grab the books his mom asked for while he’s still shopping.” I pull out the list and excuse myself.
A lot of the books she wants seem advanced for his age, but that doesn’t surprise me.
Ollie is incredibly smart, and it is good that he is being challenged.
It still hasn’t come up why Hattie chose to homeschool Ollie versus sending him to public school.
As a single mom, it seems like the obvious choice.
He would be cared for and learning most of the time she was at work, and then she’d only need part-time help.
But there’s probably something I’m missing there.
I remember my mom saying thank goodness we were in school, or she’d have been spending everything she earned on childcare.
I manage to find everything on Hattie’s list, and Ollie has a stack for himself. We make sure to give Gigi the library coupon, but that doesn’t help too much for getting the cost down. I pay for my own book separately, but put the rest on Hattie’s credit card, which she left with the note.
“Are you sure you don’t want to wait it out in here? It’s coming down pretty hard out there.”
“I think we’ll be okay. We should probably get back anyway; it’s almost lunchtime.” I thank Gigi, and we race into the rain. Christopher is supposed to be stopping by for another visit soon, so Ollie needs to be home.
Thankfully, Ollie can buckle himself in, so we both get inside the car in record time.
I toss the books in the passenger seat, and we head back for the orchard.
My hair and clothes are soaked from the two-minute run from the bookstore, but at least the books are dry.
Nothing hurts worse than a damaged new book.
We head inside, and I send Ollie to change as I do the same before gathering our wet clothes for a fresh load of laundry.
“How come you and Mom didn’t carve the pumpkins last night?” Ollie asks, seeing the abandoned pumpkins sticking out of the garbage.
I clench my jaw, thankful I’m not facing him as I heat up some of the butternut squash soup we made a few nights ago.
Apparently, Ollie is a big fan of soup, so we were on a mission to try as many different kinds as possible before he stops liking them.
We’ve already had chicken noodle, cheddar broccoli, and we were finishing up the butternut squash.
“Your mom went up to see you,” I say. It wasn’t a lie, and it wasn’t like I was going to tell him what happened between us last night.
“Oh yeah, then she fell asleep in my bed.” He nods.
“Wait, what?” I stop to face him.
“Yeah.” He shrugs, but I press for more details.
“Why did she fall asleep?”
“I guess she was tired. I asked her to lie down with me because I had a bad dream. But then she fell asleep first. It was funny; I put my blanket on her because that never happens.” Ollie laughs.
I smile, realizing I had the situation all wrong.
So Hattie hadn’t blown me off last night, she was just tired.
She fell asleep in Ollie’s bed, which was why I didn’t hear from her again until this morning.
Which makes sense, we had a crazy busy day after she worked so hard all week.
She was pulling twelve-hour workdays three times a week; of course she was tired.
That was probably what she was trying to tell me when I blew her off this morning.
She probably woke up confused this morning and wondered why I never came to check on her.
I should’ve considered the possibility that she fell asleep.