Chapter 8 Jude
JUDE
What a fucking day.
Dragging my hands down my face, I wait until Arden is out of sight before turning around and heading back into Vetted Paws. I can feel the adrenaline still coursing through my veins, the inevitable crash something I’m not looking forward to.
But it’s been a long time since anything truly surprised me. The second I saw Arden throwing up, I knew. I have no idea how I knew, but the words were like a bass drum in my mind.
She’s pregnant with my baby.
At thirty-eight, I’d all but given up on finding someone, let alone having a family.
I’m not old by most standards, but I’ve seen more than most in my life.
I don’t want to talk about my feelings or pretend to be someone I’m not just to make the person I’m with happy.
It’s not usually an issue, since my physical size is a deterrent to most.
But not her.
My lips twitch at the chaos that Arden is about to rain down on me, and I can’t fucking wait.
“You good, brother?” Deacon asks from the doorway, his massive size matching my own.
“Yeah, we’ll talk about it later,” I tell him, watching as he presses his lips into a hard line as if he’s trying to keep his expression void of shock or anything else.
“Eventful day,” he murmurs as he turns to go back inside and I grunt, elbowing him as we walk back into the office.
“I expect that this doesn’t go any farther than this room.” My words are clipped. Final. And I thank God I don’t have to elaborate on what this is.
Sorren, Tanner, and Bodhi all nod as I cross my arms over my chest. It’s not to drive the point home; it’s to hide the fact that my hands are most definitely shaking.
“Do you still want to see the dogs, or do you want to reschedule?” Sorren asks, his expression the same as it always is—steady.
Unaffected.
That reassurance allows my heart to slow to a more normal beat.
“Let’s see them,” I manage, my voice gruffer than I anticipate but no one mentions it. Instead, Sorren nods toward the back as Tanner and Bodhi excuse themselves, my brother’s gaze following the former as he walks by.
For fuck’s sake.
I narrow my eyes at him but he just shrugs, his lips lifting into a small grin, completely unapologetic about checking Tanner out like it’s just another normal day.
“There’s three I wanted to show you,” Sorren says. “But I think I just want to show you Dez and go from there.”
We follow him a bit farther before stopping in front of a cage holding a gorgeous gray dog with bright blue eyes.
“What kind of dog is this?” I ask, the dog’s tail wagging as I approach.
“He’s a silver lab. We got him from a rescue in eastern Tennessee that was overcrowded. He’s incredibly smart, and after going through some standard training, we started doing more advanced work.”
“Think he’ll be good with kids?” I ask without looking at anyone.
“He should be. He’s got a great temperament, and you have plenty of time to socialize him with other pets and kids before then.”
“All right, let’s see him.”
“You ready to talk about it?” Deacon asks as we stare at each other over the burgers he cooked when we got home.
Sorren was right; Dez and I fit in a way I didn’t quite know how to articulate. It was strange, but there was no denying that he was meant to be mine.
I hope Arden is okay with dogs.
I asked Sorren to keep him for a couple of days until I can really talk to Arden and figure at least some of this out.
“Which part?”
“You pick.”
“Arden came to the bar late one night. She was upset…” My voice trails off because it’s hard to put into words what happened. It hadn’t been about the sex, although that had been life-altering even before I knew about the baby.
That night had been raw, all-encompassing passion. There’d been no pretenses, no motives, just two people who connected in a way that few would understand or experience.
She made me feel and I didn’t hate it.
Not that night.
And not even when she disappeared.
I’d been hurt but that’s not the same thing. Memories of the way she looked this morning eased the ache. She’d been scared. Hell, she’s still scared, and I can’t blame her because I’m scared too.
“You’re gonna be great,” my brother says, his voice full of emotion as I meet his gaze. “Really great.”
“Thanks. I just need to talk to her. She’s runnin’ scared but there’s not a whole lot I can’t fix. I need her to see that.”
“She will, just give her some time. Today was a shock not just for us but her too. You could see it on her face. She wasn’t maliciously hiding it; she was protecting herself.”
“She got my number from somewhere and texted me. I was pissed and I didn’t text her back.” The idea of Arden eight months pregnant rolling into the bar and me never knowing because I was too damn stubborn makes my stomach clench. “Feels like I fucked that up.”
“Yes and no.” His answer is automatic and it eases some of the doubt. “You both had your reasons. You just gotta make sure the other person understands so it doesn’t happen again.”
“You’re right,” I admit as my cell lights up on the table.
“I know. Is it her?” His response is smug and I ignore him as the messages keep coming.
ARDEN: I know you hate texting but I’m too tired for anything else
ARDEN: I’m sorry about today. All I keep thinking about is the look on your face and it hurts. I can feel your hurt
ARDEN: I’m so sorry that’s how you found out
JUDE: I’m pissed you’ve been avoiding me
ARDEN: I wasn’t, not in the way you’re thinking but that’s too much to text
JUDE: Make time for me
ARDEN: I promise
JUDE: I’m sorry you got outed the way you did today—the guys won’t say anything
ARDEN: I appreciate that. Truly.
ARDEN: We’ll pick this up later, I’m falling asleep already
JUDE: Sweet dreams, Tennessee