Chapter 7 Arden
ARDEN
Today is not my day.
Understatement of the year.
I knew I should have stayed home, but after barely leaving my house the past week, I needed a change of scenery. My messages to Jude had gone unanswered. While I know I need to just put on my big-girl panties and go to the bar and see him, I’m not up for that level of interaction today.
So I settled on popping into Vetted Paws to talk to Sorren and Tanner about a new series I’ve been toying with. Tanner is usually up for anything but Sorren is a harder sell, unless he can make Tanner do it—then he’s all for it.
I’ve barely been inside the building for sixty seconds before the crackers and water I’d attempted this morning make their reappearance.
More embarrassed than I’ve ever been in my life, I’m acutely aware that Bodhi is holding my hair back as I puke into the lobby trash can.
No one says anything as Tanner hands me a tissue and Sorren offers me a cup of water as I apologize profusely.
All of that would have been bad enough, but the universe saw me desperately trying to hold myself together and said hold my beer.
Vetted Paws isn’t in Blackstone Falls. It’s on the edge of Clementine Creek, and even though the two towns neighbor each other, it never crossed my mind that I would see him.
Not today and not here.
Jude’s eyes are locked on mine, the room so quiet you could hear a pin drop, but I don’t dare break the silence. One because I’m not confident I’m done puking and two, I don’t know what the hell to even say.
But then neither does anyone else.
So, awkwardly, I do my best to defuse the tension. “Jude, hey. What are you guys doing here?”
“Can I talk to you outside for a minute?” Jude’s voice is deep and gravelly, his eyes never leaving mine.
Straightening my spine, I tell Sorren I’ll talk to him later and stomp my way toward the door. Willing myself to breathe, I push it open, not bothering to hold it for the man behind me. He can get his own damn door.
“When the hell were you gonna tell me?” Jude’s voice is low as he follows me out to the parking lot.
Dangerous.
The question is laced with unconcealed rage, the kind that’s begging for a fight—which I’m all too happy to provide.
“Who says it’s yours?” I ask sweetly, watching his jaw tic and his fists clench as we face off. God, he’s beautiful—tall, dark, handsome—and dangerous, but not to me. And not to our baby. “Fine. It’s yours,” I concede.
“When were you gonna tell me?” he repeats, taking a step forward as I take one back.
“Maybe you should have answered one of my messages.”
“I’m a grown fucking man, Arden. I don’t talk about serious shit through a text,” he says, throwing his arms wide, arms that had held me as I cried out his name.
Arms that had made me feel safe and grounded when so much of my world was falling apart.
“It was the best I could do, okay? I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. I’m scared and alone and—”
“You’re not alone.”
I glare at him, choosing to ignore his comment as I rub my hand over my forehead.
“I have daddy issues, Jude. Hell, I have mommy issues. And now, my sister is pregnant and she’s excited to have her baby and she’s going to absolutely lose her mind when she finds out I’m pregnant too but it’s not the same. ”
“And none of that changes the fact that you’re not alone.”
“We barely know each other.”
“And none of that changes the fact that as of five minutes ago, you and that baby are the only things that matter.”
“Jude.”
“I’m serious. You want to pick up and move tomorrow to get away from your family? I’ll go. We’ll pick some bullshit spot on a map and just drive.”
“You’d leave your brother? Your bar—”
“He’d understand.”
“And the bar?”
“It’s a part of my past that I’d give up in a heartbeat for a chance at a future.” He nods toward my stomach, my shirt covering the bump that looks like I ate a big lunch.
I miss lunch.
So far crackers, grapes, and the occasional apple with peanut butter are the only things I can keep down.
Usually.
“I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You’re not asking,” he says, taking another step toward me, but this time I don’t move back. “Look at me, Tennessee. I’m not running.”
“This is a baby,” I tell him, tears clouding my eyes as I try desperately to keep my voice steady. He can’t be sweet and use that stupid nickname—a woman can only withstand so much. “You’re going to be stuck with me for decades and—”
“And I can think of a thousand worse things than that.”
“Sure,” I scoff, less to pick a fight and more to choke back the sob that’s stuck in my throat. “But we don’t know each other. How are we—”
“I know the important things.” He smirks, closing the distance between us, his paw of a hand on my waist as he pulls me against him. “Like what you need to get off.”
“Yes, that’ll come in handy during the midnight diaper change,” I snark and he chuckles.
“Do you honestly think there’s another man out there that’ll be able to handle all your mood swings? The hormones and all the meltdowns?”
“You’re not selling this.”
“I’m sayin’ I’ve got you. You’re gonna hate me and you’ll wanna cut my balls off, but the good news is I’ve trained in hand-to-hand combat and I’m not afraid of you.”
I want to laugh and cry and scream as I push out of his arms. “Don’t you get it? I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to be happy when everyone is going to be so happy for me. For us. What do I do?”
“You let me take care of it,” he murmurs, approaching me like he would a scared animal. “Let me shoulder all of it. You think I give a fuck if I hurt someone’s feelings? I’ll be the bad guy. I’ll take it all so you don’t have to.”
“But why? I get it for the baby but why me?”
For the first time since we stepped outside, Jude lets me see him—the man behind the gruff exterior—his carefully constructed walls vanishing right before my eyes.
“Because I like the way you look at me. You don’t give a shit about my size or why I don’t smile. You saw me limp in the bar and not once did you ask if I wouldn’t be able to hold you up, if I wouldn’t be able to give you what you need.”
“Fuck anyone who thinks otherwise,” I grit out, my heart double-timing it when his lips curve up on one side.
“Doesn’t take much more convincing than that.”
“Dammit,” I sigh, letting myself fall into him and curl into his chest. “I still need space.”
“I’ll let you have it as long as you promise not to hide from me anymore.”
“I’ll try.”
“You push and I’m gonna push back.”
“I know.”
“Then that’s enough. For now.”