Chapter 23
Molly
I blink at the TV, the news presenters saying words, but I can’t seem to understand them, I can’t seem to grasp them. If anything, I feel like I’m underwater.
I should be revising for my last test tomorrow morning, the last redo the dean is making everyone take, but I can’t.
I’m just numb—so goddamn numb and it isn’t because of the people on TV explaining that apparently Rylan and Gabby have runoff after stealing from May’s bar, a story that doesn’t really convince me is the truth…
Three days ago, Rylan attacked me. Three days ago, I woke alone in bed before being woken a few hours later by Luca with his face between my legs, and it hasn’t escaped my notice that suddenly a guy who couldn’t take no for an answer and a woman obsessed with wanting to have one up on me for reasons not even I knew, are both on the run.
I’m not stupid. I’ve heard the rumors about the MC, about the people that cross them who go missing, yet right now, instead of panicking after realizing that Luca may have had something to do with their disappearance, I’m ready to bolt.
By bolt, I mean pack my crap and drive until I’m out of gas for a different reason, a terrifying reason.
“According to the report, both stole over a hundred thousand dollars from the bar that is always bursting with people at night with lines out the door,” the presenter explains and my eyes flit to the coffee table.
Bile rises again, the burning makes it hard to breathe.
I glare at the stick, praying for a negative even as the result is clear.
Pregnant 10-12 weeks
This cannot be happening, it just, it can’t, I can’t be, I mean…
This is too much. It’s not—I can’t... Bile rises as my stomach tightens and dizziness takes hold and I rush to the toilet near the front door, lift the seat, and vomit what little I’ve managed to eat and just when I think I’ve heaved enough, the bitter taste makes me gag and wretch again.
Tears fall as a sob rises, and I fall to the floor, my body trembling.
I can’t have a baby, I just, I can’t.
I don’t want a child. I never have with everything that has gone on in my childhood, that and the fact that my own mother died while giving birth to me.
Having a child is terrifying to me, the dream I used to have well and truly gone, and yet here I am, pregnant, and I don’t even know how this has even happened.
I have an IUD, and it is nearly impossible to fall pregnant.
My breathing becomes choppy, and I rest my head on my knees as sobs consume me and I tremble.
I can’t do this, I can’t…
I-I need, I-I, oh god, I need Luca, but what if he thinks I trapped him? He made it clear he didn’t want kids.
Oh god, what if he leaves me?
Another sob tears from my chest as my mind swirls and dizziness consumes me, and my breathing becomes choppy to the point my chest hurts.
I can’t…
Oh god, what am I going to do?
I take deep breaths and try to steady myself, and make a plan before I break.
I need to speak to Luca.
Taking a shuddering breath, I push myself up, my legs shaking so much I stumble several times before finally standing fully upright.
I walk out of the toilet to find Coco sitting outside, his head down as he eyes me with caution, and I gently pat his head before stumbling over to the couch and grabbing my phone.
I just need Luca, I need him to come home, I get he has church, but-but…
I take another shuddering breath and unlock my phone, a photo of Luca sitting on his bike at college hits my eyesight, and I swallow hard as I bring up his number, then hover my thumb over it.
“He saw the situation for what it was. He’ll help you,” I try to encourage myself, knowing how hard it was for him not to take what Rylan did the wrong way, and I swallow again, the lump building getting larger, before pressing on his name and putting the phone to my ear.
It rings twice before the call is disconnected, and I shake again as I slowly sit on the couch, and more sobs release as my insecurities build while Coco whines near my feet.
He’s in church, I try to remind myself, but the voice in the back of my mind doesn’t want to believe it and wants to go back to my bad place, to my childhood, to my step monster and how my father didn’t open his eyes to see what his wife was doing before making that stupid contract.
Maybe I should go to the clubhouse?
But we’re not out in the open, he might be angry. Heck, he may even dismiss me and claim he doesn’t know me...
But I need him right now…
But what if he gets mad and leaves me?
I squeeze my eyes shut at my sickening thoughts. I need him. He’s the heart of my everything. Pregnant, I need him now…
With that thought in mind, I slowly stand and mutter, “Stay, boy,” when Coco goes to follow me, and I walk over to the front door, grabbing my keys as I pass, all while I try to ensure I’m breathing.
This just cannot be happening, I don’t want a child.
***
“What can I do for you, miss?” the man wearing a prospect cut asks as he bends in my window five minutes later, and I swallow hard as I squeeze the steering wheel, my eyes going from the large building with several bikes and cars before it to the man eyeing me like I may have a bomb hidden.
“My name is Molly Wright,” I rasp, not knowing what else to say.
I could say, ‘Hey, I’m in a relationship with my boss Luca—though you know him as Ace, who used to hate me. We’re both supposedly unattainable and halfway out the door, yet I’ve just found out I’m pregnant. Can you let me in?’
He’d probably call me crazy and tell me to turn my ass around before he shoots me in the head.
Swallowing hard, I watch as he looks at his clipboard.
When I expect him to turn me away, my heart stutters as he knocks on my hood and says, “I’ll let you in.
Ace should be out of church now and mentioned that if you ever come to the club, let you straight in.
Something about you tells me you wouldn’t be here unless it’s an emergency. So head on in, sweets.”
Maybe my mind was spinning for nothing.
“Thank you,” I choke, and he furrows his brows with concern but nods before he goes to the hut, and within seconds the gates open, and I take a deep breath, hoping to stop the tears that have formed from falling, and I drive through the gates and pull up behind Luca’s bike, my hands shaking as I switch off the engine.
I look back at the large, intimidating building, and I swear my heart is in my throat, and I think I might have made a mistake coming here.
Maybe I should just drive back out and keep going until I run out of gas?
Crap, no, no running.
I squeeze my eyes tight and grab my keys out of the ignition and climb out of my Mustang before I do what my mind wants me to, and I walk towards the large door, my body trembling.
Loud voices echo as I open the door, and I pause just inside the door at the scene before me. I frown, seeing Luca square off against a man who looks like him, a woman gripping the man’s arm with tears in her eyes, while Dirty has an arm stretched out between them.
“Dad, just fucking leave it, yeah?” Dirty growls, and I flinch at his harsh tone as my eyes go to Luca.
His body is tense, and his hands are fisted, and I instantly read him.
He’s ready to snap and wants a line.
I don’t judge him for the decisions he made while broken. Just like I don’t judge the fact that he still has the urge, cocaine is addictive, and he relied on it enough for his body to continue to crave it, but I won’t let him go back down that route.
Taking a deep breath, I put the pregnancy on the back burner for just a moment and descend the few steps just as the man shouts, “No, I won’t fucking leave it! He made your fucking mother cry, my old lady, and neither of them will tell me why, and I’ve had enough!”
“Ever thought maybe she’s trying to prove to me I can fucking trust her after she blurted out in anger that she basically used my birth as a way to fucking keep you?!” Luca snaps back, and I quicken my steps, seeing him taking a step forward, causing several eyes to come my way.
“Can we help you?” a woman in barely there clothes asks, causing Dirty to look my way, and his body physically relaxes as he removes his arm from in front of Luca.
The woman holding onto the man, I’m realizing, is their dad, looks at Dirty with wide eyes as the man snaps, “I don’t give a fucking shit, she’s my old lady, and you need to grow the fuck up.
What happened is in the past and has fuck all to do with you, so get over it and stop acting like a spoiled club brat throwing his toy out of his crib! ”
Seriously, get over it?
His mama caused his problems, and I think this man would be singing a different tune if he knew how much Luca was hurt by her actions.
Luca scoffs, “Only the fact I wouldn’t have been born if you’d walked away, but sure, Dad, it has nothing to do with me and I should get over being a fucking pawn right?”
Crap…
The man flinches and I quickly grab Luca’s fist in both hands before he hits his own father and Luca’s head snaps toward me, anger and pain in his eyes shifting to concern when he realizes it’s me.
“Wait, who are you?” the woman demands, tense but I don’t look her way as I step into Luca, his gaze fixed on me, worry etched on his face as his eyes dart between mine, which instantly well with tears.
Reading me instantly, Luca slips from my grip, turns to face me, wraps an arm around my waist, and cups my cheek.
“What happened?” he asks as Dirty quickly rounds him, blocking us from the couple he argued with, and Luca whispers, “Talk to me, Pidge. What happened, baby?”
I shake my head, words stuck, tears falling. Luca tenses, scans me for injury, then nods when he sees I’m not physically hurt and says, “Come on, let’s get outta here,” before guiding me to the door while everyone watches, likely confused.
“Brother?” Dirty says as I curl myself into Luca’s embrace, and his arm tightens as his chest rumbles, “I’ll call you later, Dirty!”
His tone leaves no room for argument, and no one stops him until the man he was arguing with opens his mouth, and everything just happens so quickly that I don’t have time to react to stop it.
“Don’t you fucking dare walk out of that door when we’re halfway in a conversation, son, especially when we haven’t even gotten to the two people on the fucking run.
You may have gotten your Pres’s okay, but what you and Trigger did required a full fucking club vote, and you can lose your patch for this,” the man’s growl echoes in the room while my mouth parts.
See, I knew Luca had something to do with it!
I open my mouth to call Luca out, but the man digs his grave because before I can speak he snaps, “Turn back around and act like a man, you can fuck your patch chasing whore later!”
Uh oh…
Luca’s energy changes instantly, and I grip his cut and whisper, “Luca, don’t…” but he’s out of my hold before I can plead with him.
No one is quick enough to stop him, not even Dirty who lunges forward, already knowing who I am to his brother.
His fist hits the man's jaw, who lands on the floor with a lump, and I cover my mouth with my hands in shock. The woman who was holding the man looks at Luca with wide eyes as Dirty drags him back, which isn’t easy because Luca looks ready for murder.
Luca points his finger at the man and sneers, “You know what, you’re fucking dead to me, go and enjoy the rest of your miserable life with a woman who threatened to abort me if you didn’t stay with her when she couldn’t keep her legs shut!
” before shoving his brother out of the way and storms back over to me.
The man looks at his son with shock, and the woman sobs, a woman I’m beginning to realize is his mamma, and Dirty mutters, “Nice one, dad,” knowing where his father went wrong.
“Come on, baby,” Luca mutters when close as he wraps an arm around my waist and guides me to the door as the brothers call for him to come back, but he ignores them.
Why do I have the feeling everything has just gotten ten times more complicated?
When we get near my car, Luca turns to me and gently cups my cheek as our eyes lock, the tension still radiating from him, but the concern in his eyes shines through.
“Talk to me, Pidge? What has happened? I know you wouldn’t have come here if it wasn’t something big,” he whispers, and my tears fall again, my body beginning to tremble as everything hits me at once and I open my mouth and tear his world apart like the news has torn mine as I sob, “I’m pregnant…”