Chapter 24
Ace
“I’m pregnant…”
Her sobbed two words hit me like a ton of bricks, even now an hour and a half later, and I drop my head as I lean my elbows on my knees, and Coco whines near me.
I quickly rub behind his ears as I look at my girl, ensuring his whine didn’t wake her, and I swallow hard watching her chest move.
“She’s just passed out, brother, I promise…”
Tank's words echo in my head after I called him frantically while my girl was passed out in my arms…
I didn’t tell him what caused it, only her reactions, and the amazing brother that he is stayed on the phone with me until I felt comfortable enough to hang up, and even offered to come over and check on her in person.
My brother is fucking amazing, even though he thinks otherwise.
He feels he wasn’t a good brother because he was barely at the clubhouse.
His mama tried to dress him like a girl, desperately wanting a daughter before she forced another woman on him who she saw as a daughter, ruined his relationship, and made him miss five years of his daughter's life.
I don’t fucking blame him keeping his distance and the bitch is lucky she’s dead.
I run my hand through my hair as I drop my head again, my heart still pounding, and fear slowly seeps in.
She broke down before passing out, which scared the shit outta me.
As soon as she sobbed those words, her whole body deflated, like her legs couldn’t hold her up any longer, and I had to drive us home in her mustang, a car I haven’t driven in years. As soon as I pulled up to the house, her breathing became erratic, and fuck, I have never been so scared.
Her mama died while bringing my girl into the world.
Then she dealt with Ruth from the age of eight.
It’s messed with her head and fuck, we had a kids conversation during pillow talk, and we both agreed we didn’t want them, she even admitted to being scared that I wouldn’t want her if kids were off the table, yet here we are, expecting a baby due in roughly seven months.
I saw the test on the coffee table after I put Pidge to bed; it said, "10 to 12 weeks pregnant."
“Fuck,” I choke as I grip my hair, ignoring the way my knuckles sting, the action causing the cut to open a little more.
I didn’t think when I hit Dad, all I heard was his fucking nasty words, which I know he said out of anger, because as much as he hates to admit it, he loves my mother something fierce and in his fucked up mind.
He has to defend her even if he doesn’t trust her and he flipped because I wouldn’t open up to him.
He wanted answers that I’m not willing to say just yet, and if he doesn’t like it, well, I meant what I said, he’s dead to me.
No one calls my fucking girl a patch chasing whore, including him, even if he had no idea who she even is.
He saw how I reacted to her but his anger clouded him and he fucked up.
A knock sounds at the door, and I tighten my jaw because I know who it is.
Coco lifts his head, his ears twitching, and I point to the bed and command, “Stay, boy,” before he barks and disturbs Pidge, and the dog moves on my command and jumps on the bed before curling around my girl, where Chloe is already asleep, curled up near her stomach, as if she knows…
Damn.
Another knock echoes, and I swallow hard before standing and looking at my girl one more time, ensuring her chest is still moving up and down, and I turn and walk out of the room.
As much as I would love to try to wake her, to make sure she really is okay, she needs her rest.
She has her final test tomorrow.
Gently shutting the bedroom door, I growl at another knock just as I hear my dad boom, “Open the fucking door, Luca!”
Son of…
Seems I didn’t hit him fucking hard enough.
“Dad!” Dirty snaps, Doc adding, “Ice, this isn’t okay!” and I huff.
Great.
Shaking my head, I yank my front door open just as Dad goes to bang again, but stumbles, and I snap, “Keep your fucking voices down!”
“I’ll do no such fucking thing. We need to finish our conversation before you fucking hit me!” Dad snaps back before he shoves me away and storms into my home, and I swear to fuck.
“He’s our father,” Dirty reminds me as he walks inside with Doc following, but I just scoff.
Some fucking father, he’s done nothing but fucking talk down to me for months.
“You had those two people killed, and I want to fucking know right now why?” Dad commands, and I chuckle darkly as Rylan’s screams of sorrow still fill my head as he watched Gabby’s throat being sliced by Trigger, making me smirk.
“You have no right to know, the council brothers were informed, and the council father, you are fucking not!” I remind him, and his nostrils flare.
“What the fuck has gotten into you, huh?” he huffs, “Where did the boy who used to talk to me about everything go?”
Doc jumps in and snaps, “Ice, I told you this had nothing to do with you, and you storming in here is not fucking okay.”
“And what about him hitting me, huh, Doc? A brother? What punishment is he going to get for that? Because right now, the boy is spiraling, he needs a punishment so we can get him back on track!” he shouts, and I take a step forward just as Coco bounds down the stairs and stands before me, growling at my dad, and I tense because I know I shut the fucking door.
Damn it.
“What the fuck?” Dad gasps in shock as he jumps back, seeing the dog that used to lie his head on his lap, ready to chew him to bits, just as I hear footsteps, and I swear, I’m going to kill my dad.
“Luca?” I hear my Pidge rasp, and I glare harder at my father.
He woke her up, the fucker woke her up!
Everyone’s heads snap to the voice, and Dad's face pales as he chokes, “Shit,” seeing Pidge now only in just my shirt that I changed her into, but also hearing her call me my legal name, and I growl, “Yeah, Dad, shit!”
He winces instantly, seeing where he’s fucked up, while Dirty smiles. Doc just blinks and asks, “Does that mean you lost the bet?”
I roll my eyes at the fucker and hold my arm out to Pidge, who gingerly walks over to me and then burrows into my side. Instantly, I cup her cheek as I kiss her forehead and inhale her scent, and everything centers me again.
“Shit,” Dad chokes out yet again.
Seems he now understands where he fucked up today and probably realized what I told Mama to make her cry. But I ignore him. I pull back slightly from my girl, and we lock eyes, hers red and still teary.
“How are you feeling, Pidge?” I murmur, rubbing my thumb along her jaw.
She shrugs before admitting, “My head hurts,” and I hum, not surprised.
She cried until she passed out.
“Do you want some pain relief?” I ask and she shakes her head but winces, and I grit my teeth.
“Pidge,” I start, but she quickly says, “I don’t know if it’s safe,” and I sigh and press my lips against her head, understanding where she’s coming from.
She doesn’t know what caused her mother to pass in childbirth. Her dad died before he could explain so she won’t risk any little thing.
“Son?” my dad chokes, but I don’t look his way, instead, Dirty says, “Dad, why don’t you give them some space?”
“No,” he snaps instantly as Doc asks, “Why don’t you want to risk pain relief? Are you allergic?”
Pidge flinches as Doc goes into doctor mode and I run my fingers through her hair, then gently massage her scalp. I try to brace myself for what I need to admit out loud and fucking pray I don’t hurt this girl. Hurting her will fucking destroy me.
She’s my everything, and it’s taken a lot for me to even admit to that.
“Pidge is pregnant, and her mama died while giving birth to her. We don’t know what caused the death,” I admit, and everyone freezes.
Sighing, I say, “It’s a bit of a shock for her, as you can see.
When she showed up at the club, it was because she needed me.
Where she is concerned, she comes first in every way.
” I look at my dad. “Rylan tried drugging her three days ago. He’s always wanted her and realized she never wanted him, even though she never indicated she did.
The woman, Gabby, was in on it. She wanted everything Pidge had, including me. ”
“Shit,” Dad repeats, and I hum because yeah, he fucked up.
“How is the pregnancy a shock if you’ve been having sex?” Dirty asks and I swallow hard.
He doesn’t realize we spoke about not having kids and I open my mouth to tell him that being pregnant isn’t the shock, it’s that, despite agreeing we didn’t want kids, we never thought about protection.
But before I can speak, Pidge opens her mouth and completely shocks me as she whispers, “I have an IUD…”
Everyone’s eyes widen, and I just blink.
“An IUD?” I ask.
She nods and reminds me, “I told you, I didn’t want children. I don’t know my mama’s medical history. Dad never told me why she died. Then I got stuck with Ruth and Abby. Having a child, bringing it up—I just can’t, Luca. I don’t know how to be a mama.”
My heart aches for this amazing, caring woman and the pain she has fought to survive.
“You know an IUD isn’t a hundred percent,” Doc’s voice is careful and Pidge winces.
“I know, but it’s more effective than birth control and is supposed to last up to twelve years and I know we didn’t use condoms, but when he’s around, he’s all I can see which is scary, too, because I never wanted a relationship.
Falling pregnant with an IUD is nearly fricking impossible,” Pidge admits quietly and I grip her hair and press my lips against her head.
"We’re broken, but we heal together," I murmur. She melts, then snorts when I ask, "Does this mean I have super sperm?"
“No,” Doc instantly replies, not letting me get a big head. He adds, “You don’t, but you’ve lost the bet. Even if you’re not ready for everyone to know yet, when you said the guy attacked an employee, I never realized it was Molly—and you never said she was your girl…”
I groan, holding my girl tighter, who pulls back and raises a brow, and I smirk.
“I was cocky,” I admit to my girl who tilts her head and I smile and admit, “I swore in front of the officer brothers that I’d never settle down and one by one, they all bet a hundred bucks that by early next year I’d not only have a woman I was madly and deeply in love with but I’d also have a child on the way or one born and another on the way. ”
“You lost the bet, huh?” she whispers, and I reply, “I most definitely lost the bet when you knocked over my bike.”
“Pushed Luca, I was pushed,” she reminds me, and Dirty chuckles as Doc grins while Dad looks wrecked.
“Does your mother know?” he asks, and I swallow hard.
“That day you found her crying, I’d finally admitted what Pidge meant to me and why I refused to look into the feelings I was feeling, and she begged me not to give up on love because she destroyed it for me.
She thinks I gave up, and I’m not ready to tell her yet,” I say firmly, and Dad looks away but nods in understanding.
I’m not ready for her continuous meddling when I don’t trust her still, even if she kept what I told her to herself.
“Molly?” Doc says, gaining our attention. He gives her a small smile before asking, “Would it make you feel better if we did a scan here?”
“You can do that?” she asks quietly, and Doc nods.
“I can,” he confirms, “I can also have Dirty look into your mother's death records and find out exactly what caused her death.”
I look at my brother, and he nods as Doc gets out his phone, presses a few buttons, before he puts the device to his ear.
“Tank, can you do me a favor and bring the ultrasound machine to Ace’s place along with Dirty’s laptop but keep it on the downlow?
” he says and Pidge sniffles as she burrows herself into my side even deeper while Dad watches us closely, guilt radiating from him as he whispers, “Yeah, I definitely deserved the punch,” but I ignore him and his bruised jaw and hold my girl closely, pressing my lips against her head while Coco stands before us, eyeing Dad.
An hour later, my heart is pounding full of fear as we hear the baby’s eleven-week heartbeat, and I squeeze my girl's hand tightly as she sobs, petrified because she doesn’t know how to be a mama. All while she struggles with the concept that her mama passed because of breast cancer.
The fear that’s been slowly building up fucking suffocates me, and in this moment, I don’t know if I can do this, if I can be strong for her.
I don’t know if I can be a dad.