Chapter 27
Ace
I gently suck my lip ring into my mouth while I eye the door to the diner.
I’m waiting for Dirty to show up so we can get this fucking conversation over with.
Afterward, I plan to take my girl home, hopefully with our niece and nephew in tow to spend some time with them, if she agrees.
But I doubt Pidge will say no—she never can when it comes to Caleb and Lyra.
My girl loves them to fucking pieces, and I know just by watching her with them, she’ll make an amazing mama, something she’s slowly learning to deal with the further along she gets within her pregnancy.
She’s nineteen weeks pregnant, carrying our boy, Sean Scott Lee.
No one in the club knows yet, and while Dad, Dirty and Doc know we’re together and expecting along with Tank, they don’t know we’re having a boy and Trigger just knows about Pidge, not the pregnancy and that is how it needs to stay for now.
Next month, my smart, hardworking woman will graduate from college before starting culinary school. She’s also looking into starting a nonprofit to help underprivileged kids in the system, a topic we've discussed at length.
As I said, my girl is fucking amazing, and I’m going to make sure I stand by her side the whole way, just like she stands by mine, despite my fucking issues.
I look towards the door again, and I swallow hard, seeing Dirty pull up in the truck just as Blue asks, “Why is there a chocolate sauce balloon above your office doorway? I went to place my vacation forms on your desk, but walked away when I saw it.”
I snort, I can’t fucking help it as my eyes go to the pass and Pidge sends me a wink and I grin wide, knowing exactly what she wants.
Pregnancy has brought out the kinkier side to my girl, and I fucking love it.
“Because my girl wants to lick it off my body later,” I admit to Blue, whose eyes widen before she looks at the pass where Pidge has now disappeared from.
“Kinky, I never knew Molly had it in her,” Blue mutters as she walks away, her eyes still on the pass, and I chuckle just as I hear, “Uncle Ace!” and Caleb slams into me, making me choke out a laugh.
“Hey, Bud, how was school?” I ask him, and he shrugs.
“Weird now that Mama isn’t teaching us, we miss her,” he admits as Lyra latches onto my arm, and I soften towards them.
Both were in her class but have gone up a year and both are struggling without her.
“You may miss her, but she is really proud of how far you two have come,” I say, and they both brighten up, and I smile as Dirty says, “Alright, you two, head to the back, and Blue will bring you both milkshakes. If you’re good, we may help convince Auntie Molly to allow you to stay the night at their house. ”
Lyra grins widely as Caleb snorts, “Like Auntie Molly would say no to us,” as he walks away, and I laugh because the kid has a point.
“The kids have her wrapped around their little fingers,” I chuckle, and Dirty hums.
“She’ll make an amazing mama, even if she doesn’t think she will,” he replies, and I smile as I look towards the pass and notice her pulling funny faces at the kids, and I grin along with my brother.
“That she will,” I murmur just as Shaun places two coffees in front of us, and I give him a head tilt.
“Does he have any idea at all that he’s being patched in next month?” Dirty asks, and I shake my head.
“I thought it would be a good surprise, but Pidge will have to be there,” I reply and he hums, then decides not to beat around the bush.
“The cocaine,” he asks and I sigh. He continues, “I’ve given you months, little brother. Especially with the shock—you’re getting everything you said you never wanted. But the time has come, Luca. Talk to me.”
I lick my bottom lip and study my coffee before finally speaking.
I whisper, “There’s something I never told you, brother.
I always wanted what Mama and Dad had—the kind of love where you’re not alone, but with your best friend.
Even though all the shit the brothers had been through, and the affiliated brothers too, I still wanted what our parents had.
Then I found out it was all a lie. Mama admitted she had an affair and used me to get Dad back.
” I look at my big brother. “It fucked me up. It made me question my life choices and the life I thought I had growing up. He was going to leave her, Alex. He didn’t want to stay with someone who could cheat for six months when he gave her the world.
And she threatened to abort me if he left her—even though the DNA test hadn’t come back yet. ”
I shake my head and lower my gaze.
“I’m ashamed. When we were on the run, I eyed the coke and just wanted to forget.
I wanted to pretend our mother didn’t whore herself out, even she herself admitted her reasons weren’t valid for that kind of affair.
He didn’t hit her, didn’t look at other women, he treated her like a fucking queen, worked his ass off so she didn’t have to.
Then, bam, she’s knocked up with me, and I was her pawn to keep her lifestyle.
That’s how I felt. I couldn’t shake that feeling—the anger.
” I rasp and swallow hard. “I did one hit when everyone was asleep and I was fucking some whore.”
“Fuck,” he chokes.
“The thoughts stopped, Alex. The pain I felt from how easily our mother used my life to get her way—that’s why I did another, and then another.
I put money in the club account, thinking it would make it okay until I realized I was addicted and went cold turkey, but the pain was still fucking there.
She wouldn’t leave me alone, wouldn’t let me deal.
She was always in my face, got Dad to get in my face, so I had to move off club property for my sanity and fucking became my outlet.
Every time I needed a line, I fucked,” I confess.
“Until Molly?” he confirms, and I nod as I look towards the pass to see her handing food to Blue, and I say, “Until Molly.”
Pidge’s eyes come my way, and she tilts her head, and I give her a smile so she knows I’m alright, and she nods before going back into the kitchen.
“She knows?” he asks, shocked, upon seeing our interaction.
“She knows,” I repeat. “When she was shoved into my bike, I instantly felt that spark with her. I knew she was the woman I wanted growing up. It scared me. Instead of telling her to fuck off like my head wanted though, my mouth moved without thinking. I demanded she pay for my bike repairs by working in the diner. I refused to look into what happened because, deep down, I knew she wasn’t a patch chaser.
I knew she didn’t want my cut. I also knew I’d never see her again if I had let her walk away.
Having my eyes on her, even though I wouldn’t admit it, centered me.
The angry thoughts vanished, only to make me angrier.
That’s when the pranks started,” I smile while Dirty groans.
“Fuck, she can’t meet Annie, can she?” he questions, and I shake my head and admit, “No, she can’t because even now as we speak, there is a chocolate balloon balancing on my doorway in my office, and those two women together would be mayhem.”
“Fuck,” he chuckles, and I shake my head and look his way, our eyes connecting.
“I knew I had to tell her everything for us to have a future. Her reaction was why I told you about the cocaine. She became my pillar.” I look towards the pass again.
“Even when I was panicking, afraid of becoming a father, I sat on the couch with a line in front of me, hoping it would take away my pain and fear. She didn't judge me.”
“Did you…”
His concerned question trails off, and I shake my head and admit, “I was about to throw the shit out before Pidge walked into the living area. I had already realized I was fucking up, and that I didn’t want to disappoint her, but she wasn’t disappointed, she understood.”
“Does Mama know?” he asks, and I shake my head.
“No one except you and Trigger knows how deep I went because of her actions, and right now, I’m not ready for everyone to know just yet, not until after next month anyway,” I reply.
He asks, “What is happening next month?” just as Pidge walks out of the kitchen, and I grin widely as she walks over to me, and I lift my arm as she presses into my body before she faces Dirty, who gives her a grin.
“Hey, Pidge,” I say softly into her ear, and she hums, showing me she has my attention. “What are we doing next month?”
Pidge looks at me with a soft smile as I gently rub my hand over her small bump.
Our son moves beneath my hand, making my heart race and while yes, the fear is still there—the fear of the unknown, the fear of fucking up, I also feel excitement.
We’re building a family together. And yes, I said building because I want that little girl.
“I graduate from college before finally going to culinary school,” she says, and Dirty high-fives her, making me chuckle.
“And?” I prompt, and she rolls her pretty eyes.
“I told you, Luca, that wasn’t a real proposal!
” she sasses and Dirty’s grin widens as she looks at him and says, “Though I have told him I want a better proposal, we are getting married the day I graduate and I would be honored if you, Hol and the kids were there, oh and Doc because that man looks like he could kill us with his pinkie if he was left out!”
I chuckle at her words as Dirty stands and takes her into his arms and whispers, “I would be fucking honored.”
When they pull apart, my big brother looks at me with teary eyes, and I give him a grin, and Pidge says, “I’m going to go enjoy some milkshakes with the kids and let you two continue to talk.”
I nod and kiss her lips, and before she can walk off, I ask, “You alright with the kids staying tonight?”
Her eyes light up, making me and my brother laugh as she squeals, “Yes!” and rushes over to the kids, where she’ll most likely get their help to pull some pranks on me.
“I’m going to be covered in god knows what later,” I snort and Dirty laughs.
Shaking my head, I keep my eyes on my girl as she leans in and begins planning the slumber party we’re now having, and I say to my big brother, my best friend, “I’m sorry I disappointed you.”
“Fuck, Luca, you haven’t disappointed me,” he snaps, and I give him a raised brow, but he shakes his head and reminds me, “Mama made you feel unwanted, that is what you were feeling. She was willing to abort you if she didn’t get Dad, and that feeling made you feel unwanted, disposable, a meal ticket.
I’m just surprised you didn’t spiral even further. ”
I look back at Pidge. “I think I would have, if she kept pushing and Pidge didn’t fall into my life, quite literally, I would have drowned. She’s keeping me afloat and helping me remember who I used to be, before our own mother broke my fucking heart,” I murmur.
“What about Dad? He’s been standing beside her,” Dirty questions and I sigh.
“He loves his old lady, even if she doesn’t deserve that love and having Pidge, I understand his anger towards me, I’d probably be the same and it helps he hasn’t told her about Pidge, about the baby so I’m slowly learning to forgive him but Mama…
” I shake my head, “When she sat next to me, before I claimed Pidge, even she claimed what she did wasn’t justifiable.
She claimed she wouldn’t have gone through with the abortion, but a big part of me thinks, fuck… ”
I drop my head, and Dirty finishes my sentence, “She was saying it to save face. She would have gone through with her threats just to hurt Dad.”
I nod and say, “It’s bad, right? That I think that?”
“No,” he instantly denies, “Mama, she has a mean-spirited side to her, and she would have done it, even I know that, so I can’t blame you if you can’t forgive her.”
“I can’t,” I admit sadly, “don’t get me wrong, I won’t stop her from being a grandparent, I’ve seen how she is with your kids but I just, me and her, there isn’t going to be a relationship because I’ll always remember how unwanted she made me feel, how I had to turn to drugs to hide from the pain.”
Giggles echo, and I turn and instantly melt seeing Lyra sitting on my woman’s lap, gently caressing the baby bump.
Fuck, that is a sight, and damn am I glad the kids know not to mention Pidge and the baby because we’re both not ready for everyone to know yet.
“I know you don’t believe it, but I’m proud of you, baby brother,” Dirty whispers, and I swear it takes everything in me not to bawl like a fucking baby.
“Why? Because I gave up the drugs? Because I finally got what everyone said I would have when I refused to believe it,” I ask, and I side eye him and smirk, “Or because my girl had a man try and force himself on her and I didn’t react as half the other brothers did when they got put in that situation? ”
Dirty laughs at the dig towards probably half the fucking brotherhood but nods anyway and says, “Yeah, brother fucking all of the above,” and we watch Pidge play with the kids, giving them her whole attention while they love on her baby bump, and I relax in my seat as I shoot the shit with my brother.
In this moment, while I laugh and smile and watch my girl with our niece and nephew, I know we’re going to be okay because, together, we’re a team, and I’m one lucky man to be one half of that team.