Chapter 21
Ace
Our final night on the cruise is bittersweet. Something is bothering Shannon—beyond the situation with her mother—and she doesn’t seem to want to talk to me about it. I’ve been trying to be there for her in every way possible but she’s subtly pushing me away.
She’s trying to hide it, so I’m not sure what she wants from me. Whether she’s scared or overwhelmed or actually mad about something she doesn’t want to discuss, well, I’m good at reading people, but I can’t literally read her mind.
All through dinner and then later while we have drinks and dance in the lounge, she avoids my eyes and seems to lean more on Aubrey than on me.
At first it hurt, but now it’s just pissing me off.
I dropped fucking everything to come when I thought she was in trouble, and whether this is about her mother or something else, it doesn’t change anything for me.
I originally wanted to protect her, and when that was no longer necessary, I wanted to try to explore something serious with her.
What changed in the last twenty-four hours to make her do an about-face like this?
I plan to ask, but I’m too annoyed right now and the last thing I want is for us to have our first fight on our last night of the cruise.
“Things okay with you two?” Chris asks when the ladies excuse themselves for a restroom break.
“The truth?” I throw up my hands. “I have no fucking idea. She won’t talk to me.”
“Aubrey said she’s overwhelmed.”
“Well, yeah, but if she can’t trust me, after all we’ve been through the last two weeks, I’m thinking we don’t have a future.”
“Have you told her you’re interested in a future?”
“Yes. I mean, I told her I didn’t know what was going to happen, but I wanted to see where this leads.
And that’s the truth—I can get called back to D.C.
at any time. I have some big decisions to make, but I put everything aside when I thought she was in trouble.
Now, when my guy starts putting it all together, she shuts me out.
” I shake my head. “I don’t know what to do with this. Or her.”
As if on cue, my phone rings and Director Dickhead’s name flashes on the screen.
“Great. Just what I need. Excuse me.” I get up and walk through the reception area and then outside onto the deck. It’s cold, but a lot quieter than the lounge. “Ace Ross.”
“Ace. Where the hell are you?”
“Germany,” I tell him. I figure if he’s asking, he has to have an idea I’m not in Limaj. “Picking up a package for the king.”
“Interesting.” He sounds doubtful. “You’ll have to tell me about it when you’re back in town. For now, I need an update.”
“Plans for a Limaji intelligence agency are on hold while one of the cousins plans his wedding and they beef up the military. I told you it was handled.”
“I’m still getting intel that says otherwise.”
“I’m part of the king’s inner circle,” I say in a bored voice. “If you believe a snitch over your own asset, maybe I need to rethink my position with the agency.”
“All right, don’t get your boxers in a bunch. We’d like you to come back to D.C. to debrief.”
“It’s almost Christmas,” I say in irritation. “I’m going to L.A. to see my parents.”
“So, stop here in D.C. for one day and then go on your way. You have time.”
“I have to get this package back to Limaj, which won’t be until late tomorrow, maybe Sunday. By the time I get to D.C., it’ll be Christmas Eve.”
“Since when do you give a fuck about the holidays?”
“Since now. Look, I’m on a boat in the middle of nowhere, I need to go. I’ll ring back tomorrow.” I disconnect and sigh.
“Your boss?” Shannon’s voice startles me, and I realize she’s been standing in the shadows.
“Yeah.” I turn to her, meeting her eyes as the wind whips tendrils of hair around her head.
“Are you really going to see your parents for Christmas?”
“No. I just don’t want to go to D.C. next week.”
“Okay.” She hugs her arms around herself, shivering slightly in the cold air.
“Why were you out here without a wrap?” I ask her, moving close and pulling her against me to warm her up.
“I just wanted some air and then you came out.”
“And you wanted to eavesdrop in case I was hiding anything from you.” It’s more of a statement than a question because I already know the answer.
She looks down. “Maybe.”
“Shannon.”
She lifts sad blue eyes to mine.
“I don’t know what’s happening with your mom and Sandra, but you have to believe it has nothing to do with me.”
“I know.” She shivers slightly. “Can we go inside?”
“Of course.” I take her hand, and we walk back into the reception area.
“It’s not that I think you’re involved,” she says after a moment, moving to stand by the beautiful Christmas tree where we’d taken so many pictures this week. “It’s that I don’t trust myself.”
“Meaning what?”
“If my mother is behind this, and she’s the person I’ve leaned on and trusted most in all of this, in almost everything since my father died…
what does that say about my ability to read people?
To build strong relationships? I mean, you’re a spy!
” She drops her voice, hurriedly looking around apologetically. “Sorry, I’m just upset.”
“It’s okay.” I reach for her, pulling her into my chest, which seems to be the one place she’s most calm.
“I’m really out of sorts.”
“It’s okay.” I kiss the tip of her nose. “What can I do?”
“I don’t know.”
“What do you want to do tomorrow? I thought we would rent a car and drive back to Cologne, but it’s up to you.”
“I…” She seems conflicted. “Would you believe I haven’t even thought about how we’re getting home? I forgot we were ending in Switzerland.”
“You want to stay on the boat and sail back? It’ll take us through Christmas, but I’ll make it work if you want to do that. Give you another week to clear your head.”
She shakes her head. “No, I need to deal with this and move on, one way or another. But thank you for being here for me. For everything you’ve done. I don’t deserve you.” She squeezes my hand, turns, and goes back into the lounge.
What the fuck?
Did she just dump me? Given me a gentle nudge out the door?
What just happened? She didn’t say goodbye or anything, but her actions speak way louder than her words.
I take a deep breath and slowly blow it out before following her back to where we were sitting with Chris and Aubrey.
I have a feeling tonight isn’t going to be nearly as much fun as the previous two.