Chapter 25
Ace
I can't count the number of times I've borne witness to a woman crying. The number seems to be endless, but hearing her sobs through the door brings out a visceral reaction in me I've never felt before.
I know it's best for everyone if I go back to my part of the suite and let her have this moment to herself. I can't fix it. There's nothing I can do to make this better for her. A story about my tragic past doesn't ease the guilt she's going to feel for a lifetime, and I didn't tell her my story about Noah to try and one-up her. I just wanted her to know that she's not alone in the way she feels about Sadie's demise.
I press my forehead to her bedroom door, knowing by the shower being on that she's trying to hide this from me. I don't know if she sees it as a weakness or if she's worried I'll have some sort of negative reaction; either way, her pain makes me want to comfort her. For once in my life, I genuinely want to take on someone else's burdens if only to ease them a little.
I knock gently on the bedroom door, but she doesn't answer.
I pace through the small common area of the suite, forcing myself away from her door, but a second later my feet carry me right back across the room. But instead of knocking again, I open the bedroom door and enter .
The sobs continue, telling me she either didn't hear me come into the room or the pain is too great to stop it.
Approaching the bathroom door, I hesitate when I lift my hand to knock on that one. She's in there alone because that's what she has chosen. If she wanted me to witness her crying, she would've done it in the living room or in the car.
I know she has spent a lifetime not letting anyone see the real her. She has been trained to be brave and face adversity with a smile on her face, to assure anyone who might be watching her instead of her father that everything is fine, that she has it all under control.
Instead of turning back and leaving the room like the alarm bells in my head are insisting that I do, I knock on the bathroom door, growling when I get no response.
I knock louder, hating that I hear her sobs halt as if she's holding her breath, possibly feeling as if she got caught doing something wrong.
I startle when the door opens because I was fully expecting her to just answer by speaking through the wood.
Her face is red and blotchy, her nose irritated from the number of times she's had to blow it in the last twenty-four hours.
"Hey," I whisper stupidly because seeing her made my brain fritz.
Steam from the shower swirls around me, escaping the humid room.
"Sorry, I just—" she waves her arm as if it explains her state of mind right now.
"You don't have to be brave in front of me," I tell her, reaching out and cupping her cheek when she attempts to look away. "Ever."
As if she has been waiting to hear this her entire life, she doesn't hesitate to fall into my arms, her tears once again renewed as she sobs.
I sweep an arm under her legs and carry her to the bed, sitting down, still holding her .
My heart aches for her.
My head tells me we're the same.
My body craves the warmth of hers.
"What if he did it?" she asks after her sobs begin to settle. "What if I lost Sadie but then I lose William, too?"
I can't imagine the betrayal she's feeling right now.
"I feel like I've failed my entire family."
"I know this is hard to hear, but their choices aren't your failures. They have free will."
I sweep a tear off her cheek when she lifts her head and looks up at me.
"And I know this will be hard to hear, but some people will never change, no matter how many opportunities they're given. Sadie—"
"She didn't deserve to die."
"No, baby," I tell her with a sad smile. "She didn't."
I don't know who makes the first move.
Was it her leaning in closer?
Was it me when I traced her lower lip with my thumb?
I guess it doesn't even matter because in the next breath, her lips are on mine, tongue seeking entrance I offer with a moan of need that rumbles from my chest.
I ache for her in a way I can't recall ever feeling for another woman. As high of a chance there is that both of us will come to regret it, neither of us seems too quick to want to stop it.
She breaks the kiss long enough to pull my shirt over my head, her eyes dropping to my chest as her hands roam over my pecs.
I pride myself on how well I've taken care of my body. Healthiness is pertinent to the job, and the threat of the yearly fitness test keeps me on track most days.
Feeling as if fair is fair and it's my turn, I reach up and begin to unbutton her blouse. The hint of lace I've been forced to see all day has been driving me crazy, and I feel on the brink of insanity by the time I'm able to slide it off her shoulders.
"No," I tell her, moving her arms away when she tries to cover her middle. "Jesus, baby."
I cup her full breasts, the white lace covering them making my mouth water.
With the tip of my forefinger, I pull one cup down, not hesitating for a second to lean forward and cover her dusty pink nipple with my mouth.
Her moan makes me suck harder, flicking my tongue against the tip of her breast as it tightens.
Selfishly, I pull back and give the same attention to the other breast, greedily sucking it into my mouth.
She shifts, situating her body so that she's straddling my hips rather than lying across my lap, and I realize just how fucking lucky of a man I am when she leans forward, offering her breasts to me again.
I tease the furled tip of one with my fingers as I lave at the other with my tongue before switching sides as she continues to grind down on my lap. My cock aches, the angle of it is not very conducive to what we're getting ourselves into.
The back of my hand brushes the heat between her legs when I reach down and arrange myself better.
"Wow," she whispers, her forehead resting against mine as she looks down between us.
The swollen, angry-looking head of my cock is visible above the waistband of my boxer briefs.
"I'm glad I'm not the only one losing my mind," she whispers as a bead of pre-cum rolls to the side.
"Are you aching for me, Cora?" I ask, lifting her flowy skirt until I can see her silk-covered pussy. "Jesus."
Wetness outlines the most delicate part of her body and my own arousal spikes at the sight of it.
"Yes," she whispers, and I'm so lost in the sight of her it takes too damn long to remember what question she's answering .
"Take me out," I say, lifting my hips so I can grab my wallet from my back pocket.
My eyes stop working when she reaches for me, but it's impossible to see a damn thing when they're rolled into the back of my head anyway.
The warmth of her hands makes me moan as she wraps her fingers around me once my zipper is pulled down and my cock is freed.
I pull a condom from my wallet, wondering for the briefest of seconds if the damn thing is expired with how long the motherfucker has been in there.
I lift my hips, shoving my slacks down to my thighs, my cock reaching up for her warmth when I do so.
"Do you want me to put that on?" she asks, eyes locked on the condom.
"I'll come before you get the damn thing rolled all the way on," I mutter, feeling like I'm already teetering on the fucking edge already.
I look down at the condom one last time, noting that the expiration date is still several months out, before tearing open the package.
I want inside her like I want my next breath, but a baby at fucking sixty isn't anywhere on my fucking life bingo card.
I grind my teeth, my own hand situating the condom in place driving me crazy.
"Pull your panties to the side," I urge as I tap the head of my cock against her clit.
She whimpers, rushing to do as I ask, and the sight of that swollen nub makes my mouth water. I know the woman has to taste fucking divine, but I also know where this is heading and how it can only happen once, and I look up at her, watching her pretty face as I allow myself a second to mourn the loss of not ever having that experience.
Heat surrounds the tip of my cock, forcing my eyes back to where she has lifted and situated herself over me .
"Cora," I growl, both loving that she took the initiative to seek what she wants and hating that she didn't wait for me so I could witness her body taking me inside of her.
I press my head back against the headboard, my legs trembling as she sinks lower.
My mouth hangs open, jaw lax, as she lifts up a few inches before lowering once again.
Fiery heat engulfs my full length, and I swear I feel the rumble of her own moan deep in my nuts.
I grip her ass in a punishing hold, but it does nothing to keep her from lifting and falling again.
My eyes are locked on our connection, the slickness of her own arousal left behind on my cock each time she rises.
Fingers on my chin force me to look up, and in her eyes I find both pleasure and a sense of sadness so acute I'm forced to wrap my arms around her, locking her in place, fully seated on my cock as I lean forward and kiss her.
I say with my kiss all the things I'll never be able to say with words.
I care about her.I want to protect her. I want to take her pain as my own. I want her happy and smiling, her real smiles not the ones she shows the rest of the world. I want her to miss me as much as I already miss her.
Although she's grieving her sister, I hope she grieves for me because it means I won't be alone in the sadness I'll feel having to walk away from her.
She moans into my mouth, and I feel the clench of her body around me, one tight squeeze followed by several small ones. She gasps, lips against mine as if surprised by her orgasm. Mine happens a second later, my body responding to hers, our lips but an inch apart when I fall over the edge.
Fresh tears leak down her face, falling onto mine, and I hate that the reprieve from her torment didn't last very long.
I'm a complete piece of shit for letting things get this far, but it doesn't stop me from wrapping my arms around her and holding her close for just a little while longer, wanting to be the balm of ease on her skin, and if I could climb inside of her and scrape away all the pieces that make her cry, I'd do so in a minute, no matter the sacrifice and cost to me.
But grief doesn't work that way, and doing anything else to distract her from it will only make things worse in the end.