Chapter 30
Deacon sat in his office with the We-C-U projections for the first quarter up on his computer screen, but he was staring at the last text he’d sent Jenna and contemplating whether or not he should send her another one, call, or send more flowers, this time maybe to her salon.
Poppy was picking Tabby up from school and then taking her to get pom-poms for the parade.
He needed to focus on work, but all he could think about was Jenna.
When there was a knock on Deacon’s front door, he was actually relieved for the distraction.
When he answered it, he was surprised to see AJ standing on his porch.
“Hey man.” He opened the door to let him in.
The last time AJ had shown up at his door, he’d been there to give him an ultimatum, which he’d appreciated instead of going directly to his sister behind Deacon’s back, he wondered what this visit was for.
“You asked me to look into the crash, and I did, but I don’t know if you are going to want to know the information I uncovered, and I didn’t want to email it to you.”
Holy shit. If AJ thought it would be inappropriate to just email then, fuck, it was really bad.
Deacon totally forgot he’d sent AJ a message from the plane on the way to meet his mom after his conversation with Jenna because she’d made him wonder if there might be something more to the crash. So much had happened since then if felt like a lifetime ago.
He took a deep breath, crossed his arms and stood with his legs slightly apart. He felt himself bracing for impact. His chest was tight, and his stomach twisted in a knot.
AJ’s expression was difficult to read, but there was a weight to it, a somber gravity that Deacon couldn’t quite name.
He handed Deacon a manila folder. “I wouldn’t be giving you this information unless I was one hundred percent certain it was the truth.
I triple-verified my sources and also pulled in some favors to get a look at some reports and access files and interviews that had been, rather tried to be, buried.
“Your mom was diagnosed with a very aggressive brain tumor six months before the crash. She was given nine months to a year to live.”
Deacon pulled out X-rays and MRIs. He was reading the doctor’s reports, but he wasn’t exactly sure what they meant.
“And then five weeks before the crash your father was diagnosed with stage 4 ALS.”
“What?!” Deacon lifted his head to look at AJ.
“From what I could find, he hid it from your mother. She never went to an appointment with him. He only went to three, and they were all scheduled when she was either at a treatment or at a massage.”
“Treatment?” His mother went to treatment.
“She did try and shrink the tumor, but it was too aggressive.”
“So what? They just decided to Thelma and Louise it?” Deacon stared down at the medical records.
AJ took another breath, and Deacon realized he wasn’t done.
“No. I looked at your mother’s toxicology report on her autopsy. She had enough morphine in her system to tranquilize a horse. I’m confident your father planned the crash, and your mother was unconscious and unaware.”
“So, he killed her. He killed himself and my mom.”
AJ took a breath, and Deacon waited, realizing that was a pattern with AJ, if he took a breath he was about to say something important.
“She had weeks to live. The tumor had spread to a portion of her brain that affected memory and motor skills. And her quality of life would have been horrific, and the same for him.”
Deacon knew that AJ was just stating facts, that’s what he did, but there was still an emotional aspect to this, and he appreciated that he’d come over and delivered the news the way he had.
“Thank you for doing this for me. And for coming over to tell me.”
“That’s what family does.”
Deacon nodded.
“Do you need a hug?” It was clear AJ did not want to give him a hug, he had sensory issues, but he held out his arms indicating he would make the sacrifice. “I never know—”
“No.” Deacon smiled, letting him off the hook. “I’m good, man, but thanks.”
AJ nodded and left without saying goodbye.
Deacon closed the door behind him and was once again confused as to why anyone would not love AJ.
He said exactly what he thought, he never lied.
You always knew how he felt about you. If AJ ever wanted a best friend, Deacon would happily volunteer for the job.
Although he was pretty sure Poppy had that spot on lock.
As he stared at the papers, the only person he wanted to tell about it was Jenna.
He wished he could call her. If she were the one offering a hug, he would definitely not be turning it down, because that’s exactly what he wanted.
He just wanted to hold her, for her to hold him.
Just like she’d done after Poppy broke the news about his birth mom.
Speaking of his birth mom, could he call her?
She knew both the people who were involved in this.
Although, he wasn’t so sure how she felt about them.
He figured the worst she could do is say she didn’t have time to talk.
He pulled out his phone and was scrolling down when he noticed his hand was shaking. Why was he nervous?
He pressed her name, and it rang six times before going to voicemail. He decided not to leave a message. He headed back to his office and had just sat down when there was another knock at the door. It was like Grand Central Station.
Despite knowing it wasn’t going to be, Deacon still found himself wishing it would be Jenna when he opened the door. That somehow she would have found out what was going on. Maybe Poppy would have told her.
When he opened the door, it wasn’t Jenna, it was a mini version, her daughter, Blake.
“Blake?” Instantly alarm bells went off, and panic rose in him. “What’s wrong? Is it your mom? Why aren’t you in school?”
“Mom’s fine. It’s my lunch hour. Can we talk?”
“Um, yeah okay.”
Blake turned around and waved, and Deacon saw her boyfriend Noah was on his scooter. “Does he want to come in? He can hang out with Rocco.”
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“Of course.”
She gestured for Noah to come inside, and he hopped off the bike and removed his helmet.
Deacon hadn’t actually met the young kid, but he’d seen him around a lot and was impressed by him.
He’d seen him at the park a lot babysitting his niece, Parker, who was a toddler, and he was great with her.
He volunteered his time coaching kids’ basketball at the community center, tutored, worked two jobs, delivering pizzas and at his brother and sister-in-law’s resort, Mountain Ridge, played football, and baseball, and was a straight A student, which he knew because Sue Ann’s Café put up the names of all the straight A students in Hope Falls on the community board in the café.
Before Noah stepped inside, he wiped his feet on the welcome mat and then held out his hand. “Nice to meet you, Mr. St. Claire.”
“Deacon, nice to meet you, too, Noah.”
Rocco was wagging his tail beside the teen, waiting to get affection and as soon as they released hands, Noah bent down. “Is this the king? I’ve heard so much about you, King Rocco,”
Rocco licked his face, and Noah laughed.
“Are you guys hungry or thirsty? We have sandwiches and sodas.”
Noah looked up at Blake, and Deacon recognized the expression. The poor kid had gotten roped into skipping his lunch to take her there. “Noah, the kitchen’s right through, there. Go help yourself to anything. There’s pizza, chicken, and sandwiches.”
“Are you sure?” Noah asked as he stood.
Deacon remembered what it was like to be a fifteen-year-old kid playing sports, working, and in love with a blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl who had him wrapped around her little finger. “Absolutely. We’ll just be in the office.”
“Thanks Mr. St, er, um Deacon.”
Noah and Rocco headed to the kitchen, and Deacon and Blake went into the office.
He sat behind his desk as he asked, “Are you sure you don’t want something to—”
“Do you love my mom?” Blake spoke at the same time.
Deacon stared at her. He was trying to gauge whether this was her being upset because she found out that something happened between them or if she wanted them to be together.
“Why?” He didn’t feel comfortable responding until he knew her motive for asking the information.
His phone rang and he saw that it was his mom returning his call.
Blake’s face dropped, and he saw she expected him to tell her that he needed to take it.
He quickly pulled up his auto-messages and sent: In a meeting will call back after.
Then returned his attention to Blake. “I would put it on silent, but I never do when Tabby’s not with me. ”
She did a half eyeroll, but in an endearing way. “Yeah, my mom’s the same way.”
He knew that. She told him the first day they met eighteen months ago.
“Anyway, yesterday, my dad came over to pick me up and my mom and him were talking. I couldn’t hear everything they were saying because the music was so loud in my room, and if I turned it down, they would have known I was eavesdropping.
But I know that something happened between you guys, and I also know… ”
Blake got tears in her eyes, but she quickly wiped them away. The gesture reminded him a lot of her mother. He pulled two tissues from the box on the corner of his desk and handed them to her.
“Thank you.” She held them in her hand and took in a shaky breath, taking a moment to compose herself.
“I also know that she had a very hard life growing up. I never knew that before. She told me her mom was not a nice person, and that she was not in her life and I just…I don’t know why I never…
why I never asked her about it. I just, she was my mom, I didn’t think about her life before me, which is so stupid. ”
“It’s not stupid,” Deacon assured her. “Kids are not supposed to think about their parents’ lives. That’s the parents’ job. If your mom wanted you to know about her childhood, she would have told you.”
“Maybe.” Blake shrugged. “Or maybe she just didn’t think I’d care.”
“No.” Deacon shook his head. “No, your mom knows you love her. Believe me, she knows.”
He wanted to tell her that the first day he met her mom that he’d been there when Blake called and told her mom she loved her, but that would sort of ruin the cover story that they’d just met at trivia night so he couldn’t.
“Anything she didn’t tell you was to protect you.”
“I don’t need protecting,” Blake snapped defensively, another move that was the mirror image of Jenna.
Deacon didn’t respond. It wasn’t his place to.
“It doesn’t matter, that’s not why I’m here.” Blake shook her head, as if she was getting off track. “I’m here because of you.”
“Okay.”
“I’m going to tell you something because I trust you, but if you use this information to hurt my mom, my dad is a cop, and I will figure out how to make your life hell.”
“I would never hurt your mom.” He hoped she could see he meant that.
Blake took a deep, shaky breath, and he noticed her hands were shaking. “My mom is in love with you. She doesn’t just love you, she’s in love with you.”
Deacon shook his head. “I don’t think—”
“She is,” Blake insisted, cutting him off.
“I know my mom. I don’t know exactly what your guy’s deal is, and, honestly, it’s none of my business, but ever since the trivia night, she’s been different.
And then you sent the dress, and I thought, okay good, he’s stepping up.
But then she wasn’t going, so I thought, okay, maybe he’s a dork.
But then she did go and you looked like you were gonna kill that guy.
So I thought okay this is good. But then she retreated back into her turtle shell.
But then there was the hospital and the Oregon trip, and she agreed to go, so I thought, okay, they’ll figure it out.
I mean, I swear, you guys are worse than that old Paula Abdul song two steps forward, two steps back. ”
“Opposites attract.”
Her hands flew up in the air. “I don’t care what the reason is—”
“No, that’s the name of the song,” he clarified.
“Oh.” She smiled, and he was glad to have unintentionally lightened the mood a little.
“Well, since you guys got back from Oregon, she’s been in bed every day and night, every second she’s not at the shop she’s watching Dawson’s Creek.
And that is not my mom. Usually, I can’t get her to sit still for two minutes. ”
“Yean, I know, she said she wasn’t feeling well.” He thought she’d been making excuses but now he was worried about her. He should call a doctor and—
“No!” Blake’s arms went up again in, and there were tears in her eyes again.
“She’s not sick! I mean, not physically sick.
It’s her emotions. That’s why my dad and her were talking, he was worried about her.
He still loves her and—” Blake sucked in a sharp breath, her eyes widened, and she reached over the desk, holding her hand out towards him.
“Whoa, not like that. They’re just friends. He’s madly in love with my stepmom.”
Then she was silent. She just stared at him as a smile spread on her face.
“What?” he asked, not sure why she was smiling all of a sudden when two seconds ago she was on the brink of tears.
“You do love her. You really love her.”
He didn’t see any point in denying it.
“I do.” His brow furrowed. “Why? Why…how do you know that?”
“Because I just mentioned that my dad still loved her, and your face turned into the Hulk.”
“No, it didn—” He started to deny it but then realized the feeling he had when she’d said it and she was probably right.
She started laughing and then sighed as if a huge weight had been taken off her shoulders. She placed her hands on his desk and leaned forward. “Okay good. So that’s phase one out of the way, now phase two. What are your feelings on marriage?”
“Marriage?” he chuckled a little, thinking she was joking, but then he saw the look in her eyes. “Oh, you’re serious.”
She held his stare, her expression unchanging.
“In general, I’m neutral. Before I met your mom, I wasn’t really a fan for myself, but if we are talking about me and your mom—”
“We are.”
“I’d go to city hall today to make it official.”
“Good.” She grinned a grin that would make Deacon very nervous if she wasn’t on his side. “I have some ideas.”