Chapter 26
TRAVIS
My heart rate soars. Sweat pours down the side of my face and neck. I use my shirt to wipe it away, flipping off the crowd before I blow them a kiss and stride off stage. The deafening screams dissipate as we walk to the bus. My heart starts to settle, along with a heavy weight in my gut.
No one told me how fast you’d go from feeling the highest of highs to the lowest of lows in a matter of minutes.
The moment I step off stage, it’s like a switch flips.
Out there, I’m somebody. They love me, they need me.
I’ve never felt more alive. But the minute it’s over, I’m not sure what the fuck to do with myself.
My thoughts run rampant. What do I do now? Where are we going next? When can I shower again? Every minute of every day is scheduled to a T. These hours in between should be peaceful. Time to rest and recharge, but that shit doesn't happen on the road.
“That was fucking fun,” I say, as my ass finds the couch. The guys nod along, but they don’t say anything. Each one of them brings out their phones.
“Great job, boys,” Ellie says as she slips past us toward the bunks. We’re hitting the road for another eight-hour drive already.
“Hey, baby.” I glance up at Penn’s voice. He’s got his phone in his face, just like Liam and Tanner. They’re all FaceTiming someone.
Olivia’s sweet voice hits my ears, followed by Katie’s shrill one as she talks to Tanner.
Liam’s talking to his brother. They’re pretty tight.
Their parents fought a ton before they eventually divorced when Liam was sixteen.
They both became so bitter, Liam and Seth clung to each other in the aftermath.
“I miss you so fucking much,” Penn says to Olivia. I’m pretty sure I hear her sniffle.
Jesus.
I pull out my phone, no idea why. I know there’s nothing waiting for me.
The only people I talk to are the people on this bus.
And they’re too busy chatting up their loved ones back home.
I get up and shuffle back to my bunk only to hear more giggles.
Ellie is curled up on her bed on the phone, too.
What the hell? Is this check-in night or some shit?
It’s not that unusual for her to be FaceTiming someone.
I’m pretty sure she has a weekly session with her family.
I swallow bitterness and climb up to my bed and lie down.
My head hits the lumpy pillow, and I remember what’s underneath it.
Reaching my hand back, I grab the bottle and slide it out.
I almost forgot I had this vodka. It’s half empty, but that’s ok.
“Miss you, sweetheart,” I hear Ellie’s dad say. I’m familiar with his voice. I even met him once over FaceTime. He seems like a chill dude.
I unscrew the cap and take a long drink, letting the alcohol burn my throat. Seems like everyone’s got something I haven’t got. A reason to go home. Someone waiting for them. Someone missing them.
I take another pull from the bottle. I don’t need anything else. This right here will do.