4. Noah
We’ve been at the hospital for hours now.
Don’t ask me the specific number because I have no idea what that number is.
I mean, I’m at the hospital, anxiously waiting for news about Dad and my sister. I never imagined I’d be here. At least, not for something like this.
It’s moments like these that make me re-evaluate what I’ve been doing with my life and not take things for granted.
I’ve spent the last several years working on a book I believed would never see the light of day. My dad is the one who convinced me I should publish it. He convinced me I should share my talent with the world which is fucking terrifying, but it’s worth it if I’m able to connect with readers.
Not taking things for granted is something I don’t think about often, mostly because I’ve never been in a situation where I didn’t have to think about it.
Until right now.
Mom fell asleep next to me which doesn’t surprise me because I could tell how exhausted she is. She’s been running on a never-ending hamster wheel since we got here this morning.
Celia fell asleep next to Dani with her head nuzzled into her neck.
One of the nurses brought over a couple more chairs for them to sit on.
I turn to my right, noticing that Dani is glaring at me.
“What?” I say in a whisper.
She rolls her eyes, puckering her lips out. “Nothing.”
“No, please, enlighten me. I beg you.”
“I forgot how irritating you are.
“Oh, I’m irritating. That’s funny. You’re the queen of being irritating.”
I love annoying her because the look on her face is always priceless. I wish I could take a mental picture and store it in my brain forever.
Her bold eyebrows furrow and her cheeks turn a rosy color. “God, I hate you.”
“Well, I’m glad we’re on the same page about something.”
She fakes a laugh, rolling her eyes and sticking up her middle finger at me.
Before we can say anything else, a woman in her thirties walks over to us. She’s average height with dirty blonde hair tied into a low ponytail and blue eyes.
“Hi, I’m Dr. Caitlyn Miller. Are you Benjamin and Elizabeth Kaplan’s family?”
Breathe, Noah. Just breathe.
I lightly rub my mom’s shoulder to wake her up. “Mom. The doctor is here.”
She jumps, practically flies, out of her seat like something just bit her on the ass.
We all stand, getting up from the chairs we’ve all been sitting in for hours.
“I’m sorry. What was your question?” Mom asks Dr. Miller.
“Are you Benjamin and Elizabeth Kaplan’s family?”
“Yes. I’m Benjamin’s wife and Elizabeth’s mother.” She puts her arm around my shoulder, pulling me to her so hard it makes me lose feeling in my body for a few seconds. “This is my son, Noah. We’ve been here for hours and nobody has given us any updates.”
“Here’s the good news. Your daughter is unconscious, but she will make a full recovery. The impact didn’t severely damage any vital organs, but she has a long road to recovery ahead,” Dr. Miller explains.
Thank God.
I can see some relief wipe across my mom’s face. As Mom releases me from her grasp, I can breathe.
Celia seems relieved too. She walks over to my mom, wrapping her arm around her. My mom rests her head in the crook of Celia’s neck.
“What about my husband?”
“Mrs. Kaplan, your husband suffered severe damage to several vital organs. He’s still in surgery,” Dr. Miller tells us.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
My mom’s facial expression quickly shifts from hope to hopelessness.
Tears flow from her eyes and her breathing is heavy. Celia guides her back to a chair and sits down next to her.
Dani stands there, staring at the wall in front of her. It’s like she’s immobile and frozen in time.
A nurse puts a thumbs up in the air at Dr. Miller, signaling to the doctor that she’s needed back in the surgery room.
I can’t form cohesive thoughts in my head because none of this feels real. I’m living a nightmare. One that I can’t wake up from.
Let me wake up. Please. I’m begging you.
I can see my mom. Celia’s fingers are red from how tight my mom’s grip is on her.
Dani stares off into the distance, her hands intertwining in her lap and her legs are shaking.
I’m sitting in between her and my mom.
I turn my head towards Dani. “Will you cut it out?”
“Am I annoying you?”
She knows that my buttons are incredibly easy to push right now. I hate that she’s trying to pick a fight with me right now after the doctor told us my father is still in surgery.
I huff. “Honestly, you are. Are you just here to screw with me? Because if you are, you can walk out of this hospital right now. My dad is in surgery. My sister is unconscious. My mom is an emotional wreck. I’m not in the mood for this shit!”
Getting up from my chair, I storm off before she can say anything else that will piss me off.
I end up pacing down a small corridor for what feels like forever.
Three hours have passed by since my dad was taken in for surgery.
I can see some of the nurses sitting at the giant desk area in the middle of the fourth floor occasionally glancing at me.
I’m officially losing my mind.
Oh, the irony.
“Noah.” I hear Dani’s voice call my name from the other side of the room.
I glare at her when I walk past her and continue to pace. When I come back to complete another lap, Dani’s standing in front of my pathway.
“Noah, stop pacing. You’re making me dizzy.”
Tough shit. I don’t care about making you dizzy. I care about my dad making it through this surgery.
Just as I turn my back, she grabs my wrist. Her thumb gently rubs the inner skin in a windshield wiper motion.
What the hell is going on?
I stretch out my hand to express my discomfort, but she doesn’t let go.
Her face softens as she meets my gaze. “I’m sorry, okay? You don’t have to accept my apology. I wouldn’t if I was you.” She takes a deep breath. “I’m not here to be a thorn in your side. I’m here because I love your mom. I love your dad. And I love Lizzie. They’re like family to me. Your mom means the world to my mom. I’m hoping you know all this.” She takes a deep breath. “I can tell how much you don’t want me here and I don’t want to cause you any more stress. And yes, I know I said you couldn’t make me leave, but things change. If you really want me to go, I’ll go.”
Why do I feel like I just got punched in the face without actually getting punched in the face?
She waits for a response, but nothing comes out of my mouth.
“Okay, then…Well, I’d say it’s been nice to see you, but we both know that’s bullshit.” She heads back to the chair she was sitting in to grab her bag.
Just as Dani is about to reach the elevators, Dr. Miller walks by her. She’s walking towards my mom with a surgical mask slung around her neck. Sweat is dripping from her forehead down to her temples.
I’m running back to my mom like a bat out of hell.
Dani hangs back a bit, but enough to overhear the conversation between Dr. Miller and my mom.
Dr. Miller pulls Mom aside.
Celia has her arm around my mom, her thumb rubbing my mom’s shoulder.
“Mrs. Kaplan.” Dr. Miller’s tone is firm and gentle, but her eyes say something entirely different.
“Dr. Miller, how is my husband?” My mom’s voice is frantic and searching for Dr. Miller’s face for a physical response.
“Mrs. Kaplan, I’m so sorry, but your husband didn’t make it.”
This is a fucking nightmare. This isn’t real. This isn’t happening right now.
I see my mom drop to the floor on her knees with her arms covering her face. Her wailing is piercing through my heart.
Celia gets on the floor, hugging my mom tight to comfort her.
Dani’s shoulders are rising and falling, but she’s not making any eye contact with me.
She’s numb.
Just like I am.
“I wish there was more we could do,” Dr. Miller says before she leaves us.
I shrug my shoulders, shaking my head. “What the hell is she talking about? What is she apologizing for?”
“Ah, the denial phase is setting in,” Dani says to herself out loud.
“Oh, shut up, Dani,” I reply.
“I’m not trying to be a bitch. I’m being serious.”
Celia cuts our tizzy short. “It’s your dad, Noah. H-he’s gone.”
My jaw trembles before I start laughing. “You’re lying.” I point my finger at her, my hand shaking and slightly realizing Dani’s right.
I am in denial.
I try to put my left hand on the wrist of my right hand to stop it from shaking.
Why can’t I stop it from shaking?
I attempt to find one of the plastic chairs in front of the wall and just barely make it. I look around my surroundings.
The room is spinning.
I can’t breathe or move.
Fuck, it’s happening again.
“Hey, look at me.” Dani pulls one of the plastic chairs and places it in front of me. She sits down and delicately places both of her hands on my thighs. “Noah. Look at me.”
I take my time, but I look at her.
“I’m not going to sugarcoat this all for you. I’m going to be brutally honest with you, which shouldn’t surprise you. The next several months are going to be challenging as hell. But you’re going to get through them. You’re going to get through this. I know everybody says this. Everybody said this to me when my father passed away.” She takes a deep breath in and out. “I know we fight a lot. I—I just want you to know how much I admire your strength. You never back down from a challenge. And you always persevere no matter how difficult things get. You’ll get through this.”
She gets up, but I reach out to grab her hand before she can walk away.
I forgot how soft her skin is. Wait, what the hell am I saying?
“Stay,” I whisper.
She looks down at my hand intertwined with hers, glancing at me.
I’ve hated this woman for most of my life, but right now, I hate her a little less.
“Stay,” I repeat, my voice coming out as a breathy whisper. I run my tongue along the inside of my mouth.
“Are you sure? Because there’s no turning back if you change your mind later. Just saying.”
“Don’t make me regret this, Solomon.” I’m laughing when I should be bawling my eyes out.
I need this. I’m laughing so hard that my stomach starts to hurt and the realization that my dad just passed away hits. The laughter fades away and turns into tears.
She doesn’t say anything. Instead, she sits down next to me and holds my hand. She’s looking up at me with those big brown eyes of hers.
This is when I realize I don’t hate Dani Solomon.