5. Dani
Noah’s head is resting in the crook of my neck.
How the hell did we get here?
Hours ago, I was ready to punch him in the face and here I am holding his hand.
He fell asleep on me. I can barely look over my shoulder because the weight of his head is holding it down.
My arm has gone completely numb.
My hand is sweaty.
I swear I’m not complaining.
The thing is I know what it feels like being told that the person who raised you and loved you endlessly isn’t here anymore.
The shock and fear of the unknown.
And not having any idea what’s going to happen next is nerve-wracking.
I still have nightmares about the day my mom told me Dad passed away. They’re not as vivid as the ones I had years ago, but they’re enough to scare me awake.
There’s one nightmare in particular I’ll always remember.
I’m in the car with my dad and I see a car coming straight at us. I’m shouting at him to turn around and watch out, but he doesn’t hear me. The car slams directly into us, causing my dad’s head to hit the steering wheel before the airbag deploys. I can’t wake him up, even though I’m shaking him and screaming at the top of my lungs.
I wish these nightmares would stop, but my mind loves to torture me.
Unfortunately, I’ve gotten used to it.
My mom took Laura to the bathroom thirty minutes ago.
I unlock my phone and find my mom in my text messages. I start texting her with one hand, discovering it’s not as easy as I’d thought it would be.
MOM
ME
are you guys okay? i’m starting to get worried
MOM
We’re fine. I’m just helping Laura get some air
ME
why didn’t you tell me you were going to do this before you left?
MOM
I’m sorry, Sweet Girl. Laura was freaking out in the bathroom, so I suggested we go outside for some fresh air. I think it’s helping a little
How’s Noah?
ME
sleeping like a log
MOM
He’s been so wired today. He deserves to rest. Alright, we’ll be back up soon
ME
okay
I glance over towards the window down the hall.
The sky has turned pitch black and all the desks are lit up thanks to desk lamps.
I’ve been here since around one in the afternoon, while Laura, Noah, and Mom have been here for several hours. Still, we’re all ready to drop at any moment now.
“Did I fall asleep?” Noah asks, his sleepy eyes looking right up at me.
“Yes, you did.”
He takes his head out of the crook of my neck and sits upright, rubbing his eyes with the knuckles of his index fingers. “Was I snoring? Please tell me I wasn’t snoring. That would be so embarrassing,” he says.
“You weren’t snoring.”
He’s looking down both sides of the hallway for Laura. “Where’s my mom?”
“My mom took her to get some fresh air. They’ll be back up here soon.”
He nods his head slowly, puckering his lips out.
After twenty minutes, our mothers make it back to us.
Laura looks so exhausted, it breaks my heart just to look at her. Her eyes are sunken in with dark circles underneath and her face is partially covered in red splotches. She can barely keep her eyes open. Her mascara has melted around where her dark black eyelashes start.
“I’m going to stay overnight with Lizzie,” Laura says.
“No, you’ve been here all day. You need to get some rest,” Mom tells Laura.
“Well, if my mom isn’t staying, then that means I am.” Noah’s tone is confident.
“No, I’ll stay. You’ve all been here for hours,” I tell them.
Laura looks like she’s going to say something, but doesn’t. She’s too tired to argue with me.
Noah stands there, staring at me.
I can’t get a read on him and it’s driving me nuts.
“Are you sure, honey?” Mom places her hand on my shoulder, tilting her head.
I nod. “Yes, I’m sure.”
Gesturing to my mom and Laura to go, they do so without a fight.
Noah walks up to me and a breeze blows his minty scent my way. “Thank you.”
Why does he have to smell so good? Why the hell am I paying attention to how he smells? Get a grip, Dani.
“For what?” A confused look appears all over my face.
“For what you did for me earlier and what you’re doing for my family now.”
“Oh, now you thank me. How sweet of you.” I roll my eyes, crossing my arms in front of my chest.
“Sorry it took me so long.”
“If only you apologized for all the other shit you’ve done, we’d be in a much better place. Also, you never have to thank me for helping your family. And you didn’t have to thank me for what I did earlier. I’m just busting your balls.” I lightly punch his arm.
I hear a sound come out of his mouth.
Licking my lips, I giggle. “Oh my God, did I hurt you?”
He shakes his head, squinting his eyes with his eyebrows furrowing. “No.”
“You can tell me the truth. I heard you moan,” I tease.
He walks closer to me. “Trust me, when I moan, you’ll know,” he whispers in my ear.
Oh, hell no. Not today, sir. Not ever.
I swallow and clear my throat. He takes a few steps back. We’re at an arm’s length away from each other now.
“Well, you’re full of shit,” I blurt out.
“Seems like I’m always full of shit when it comes to you.” He rolls his eyes. “Good night, Dani.” His jaw flexes, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down.
I grin, raising my eyebrows. “Yeah, good night.”
I honestly have no idea how long Lizzie is going to be in the hospital for. I just know that I’m going to be here for all of it.
No matter how long it takes.
As I watch Noah leave, I wonder how these next few weeks or months are going to be.
We didn’t kill each other which says a lot about the both of us.
I’ve changed.
He’s changed from what I witnessed today.
I mean he’s still an ass, but it doesn’t annoy me to look at his stupid face with his annoyingly perfect features.
There’s something about Noah Kaplan I can’t put my finger on.
And it’s bugging me.
I’m in Lizzie’s room, trying my best not to stare at her too long, so I don’t cry. It doesn’t work. My eyes are glassy, and I can’t stop the tears from falling.
She’s lying there.
Her chest rises and falls.
The beeping of the machine that shows her pulse is something I will be hearing in my nightmares tonight.
Looking around the room, I can’t help but feel the soul-sucking air swirling around me.
Lizzie’s bed is against the back wall, leaving enough space for the doctor and nurses to make their way around the machines and do what they need to do.
I walk over to her, delicately placing my hand on her shoulder. “I know you can’t hear me, but I want to let you know I’m here. You’re going to wake up. I love you so much, Lizbug.”
Walking away from Lizzie, I find a giant cushy chair hanging out near the window with a blanket on the table across from it.
That’s not a hospital blanket.
I graze my hand over the soft and plushy material.
It’s a blanket from home.
How did she know?
Mom had to have known I’d show up because she wouldn’t have brought this with her otherwise.
I used to use this blanket all the time when I was younger.
Nostalgia floods through my brain like old DVDs playing on an endless loop in a DVD player.
Snapping out of my nostalgic acid trip, I grab the plush material with both hands.
There’s a pajama top gently folded on the big, long desk across from Lizzie’s bed. Something else I know my mom left for me because she’s that kind of person.
I make sure no one is coming in before I remove my tank top.
My bra is next.
Slinging both of them over the back of the chair, I put on the pajama top. The soft cotton feels so nice against my skin.
Sitting down on the chair, I drape the blanket over my body.
Before I know it, everything fades to black.
My eyes slowly open and it takes a bit for everything in my view to appear clear.
I lightly rub my eyes, stretching my arms out wide.
The sunlight is breaking its way into the hospital room.
“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.” A deep voice says to me.
I lower my head and see Noah standing in the room with what looks like drinks from Kailani’s Cafe in his hands. I can see the green logo with two pink hibiscus chilling on the front of the cup.
Kailani’s is the hotspot for coffee and snacks in Sunset Cove.
“I don’t drink coffee,” I reply in a hushed tone.
Slowly getting up from the chair, gravity takes the blanket off for me.
Noah studies my face and body, making me feel uneasy and uncomfortable at the same time.
“I know. I got you an unsweetened iced tea,” he says, handing me the drink.
I raise an eyebrow. “Thank…you.” A sliver of a smile appears on my face because this guy just gave me caffeine.
He remembers I don’t drink coffee. Interesting. Very interesting.
Noah bites down on his bottom lip, staring at my tank top.
Why the hell is he biting his lip?
He starts singing out of nowhere. “Who’s the leader of the club that’s made for you and me?”
I look at him like he’s crazy, tilting my head and lowering my eyebrows.
He walks a little closer to me and points at my shirt which has all the classic Disney characters on it. “M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!” He raises his voice.
Oh, hell no.
I shake my head, flattening my lips. “If you must know, my mom brought this shirt from home. It’s actually quite comfortable. And soft.”
“I bet it is.” He takes a long pause, scanning my tank top. His eyes are staring deep into my soul. “It’s cute.” He smirks.
Are you kidding me? I can’t handle this shit.
Awkward silence fills the room. This is when I realize I’m not wearing a bra. It’s slung over the chair.
Seriously, how could I forget I’m not wearing a bra?
No wonder why his eyes keep wandering to my breasts. Panic mode sets in. Wrapping my arms around my chest as quickly as possible, I can hear the sound of a slap from my hand landing too hard on my arm.
He’s still staring at me.
“Do you mind turning around?” I gesture to him with my finger in a circular motion.
I can hear his heavy breathing which makes chills appear up and down my arms. I swallow deeply.
I take a glance at the back of Noah’s body.
Damn, his back muscles are impressive.
My eyes wander down to his ass.
What the hell am I doing?
My heart is pounding and adrenaline kicks into high gear.
Biting my lip, I put on my shirt and the shorts I wore yesterday. They’re all I have to wear right now so they’re going to have to do for now.
“You can turn back around,” I say.
He turns back around, placing his iced coffee on the desk. His gaze meets mine as he walks closer to me. “Were you just checking me out?”
Does he have eyes in the back of his head?
“What the hell would make you think that?”
He’s so close to me I tense up a bit.
He crosses his arms over his broad chest. This makes his muscles flex even more than when his arms are hanging by the sides of his body.
Why am I paying attention to these things?
Those goddamn black thick-framed glasses he’s wearing are doing things to me. He looks like Buddy Holly. An insanely attractive version of Buddy Holly.
Snap out of it, Dani.
“It’s okay if you were,” he says, smirking.
I roll my eyes, grinning at his smug face. “In your dreams, Kaplan.”
His mouth finds my ear. “If we’re telling the truth here, I totally wasn’t checking you out either.” He winks his left eye as he pulls away.
Gulping a lump of saliva down my throat, I look away to avoid any eye contact.
What the hell was that?
He steps back more, so there’s a good amount of space between us.
I don’t get it. I was dreading coming here because I knew I’d run into Noah. It was inevitable considering he’s part of the family. What I didn’t know was that I’d be losing my mind over his toned muscles. And his constant staring.
Those ocean blue eyes of his are going to kill me.