6. Noah
Of course, I was checking Dani out.
How could I not?
Why would I tell her that I was? That’s just weird.
When she got up from the chair, I nearly lost my fucking mind. She was wearing nothing else underneath her tank top. Her hard nipples kept peaking through.
Fuck, I can’t stop staring at her. Okay, this is not the time nor the place for this right now.
Before I can say anything, Celia walks into the room.
She goes over to Dani, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Good morning, honey. How did you sleep?”
“Like shit. It’s hard to sleep when nurses are coming in every hour to check on Lizzie. But, it’s okay. She’s more important than sleep.”
This is when my eyes pull towards the hospital bed my sister is lying in.
God, I hope she wakes up. She has to wake up.
Dani has been a nice distraction from everything going on because I’m trying hard to not focus on the chaos. It’s not because I’m in denial and I don’t want to accept what happened.
Life is easier when you ignore the bad shit and live in a world where positivity is the only thing that exists. That’s why I’ve been living in Noahland all my life because it’s easier. I get to make the rules and I’m able to turn the world off when it’s necessary.
And right now, I want to shut everything off.
Celia nods and turns to me. “Can I steal you for a moment?” Her voice takes me out of my deep thoughts.
I lightly furrow my eyebrows. “Sure.”
She gestures to Dani to go wait out in the hallway.
Once she leaves, Celia stares at me with her big, brown eyes that look like her daughter’s. “I need you to stay with Dani. I know this is a lot to ask of you since you two don’t get along, but I don’t know who else to ask. I just don’t feel comfortable leaving her alone in the vulnerable state that she’s in. When Jacob passed away, she was knee-deep in anxious thoughts. It got so bad to the point where she missed half of her freshman year of high school. I don’t want that to happen again.”
There’s no goddamn way.
“Uh…I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I say.
“Noah, I’m going to be honest with you right now. I care about my daughter’s mental health and maybe it wouldn’t be such a horrible thing for you two to spend some time together. Maybe, you’ll actually get along for a change. I’m going to stay at your house to help out your mom. I want to be there to help her out when Lizzie wakes up.”
I roll my head around, exhaling. “Fine, I’ll do it.”
I highly doubt we’re going to get along.
“Thank you, Sweet Boy,” she says, placing her hand on my shoulder before she walks out of the room.
Dani peeks her head into the room. “Grayson is here and there’s another guy I don’t know who’s with him.”
I rush out of the room and see my best friends walking towards me.
Grayson looks like he just rolled out of bed with his tousled dark hair and wrinkled shirt compared to Xander’s perfectly placed dark curls and wrinkle-free shirt.
They look tougher than they are with ink covering both of their arms—Xander with significantly less than Grayson, his tattoos popping against his tan skin.
It’s not that it didn’t occur to me to text them and tell them what was going on. A lot of shit has happened in the last twenty-four hours.
These guys are like my brothers, especially Grayson. I’ve known the guy since we were in elementary school. It wasn’t until high school that Xander joined our trio.
We’re family.
“Dude, I’m so sorry about your dad,” Grayson tells me, his voice full of concern. He hugs me and lovingly taps me repeatedly on the back with the palm of his hand.
“Your mom called us because she thought we’d want to know what happened. Why the hell didn’t you tell us about this yesterday, man?” Xander asks, meeting my gaze.
“This is why.” I gesture to their faces full of pity. “Look, I’m happy you guys are here, but I need some time alone, okay? I-”
I get cut off when their heads turn towards Dani coming out of Lizzie’s hospital room.
Grayson crosses his arms across his chest, sticking his tongue out enough to wet his lips. He glares at me, shaking his head.
“Holy shit! Well, if it isn’t the famous Dani Solomon!” Grayson shouts as he goes over to her, picking her up.
Her body is stiff, barely moving and her eyes are widening so much they might pop out of her head
Why is he picking her up like that? Why is it bothering me so much?
“Put me down!” she demands, slapping his back and flailing her arms all over the place.
He gently places her back on the ground before she smacks his arm.
“So, you need some alone time, huh?” he whispers, smirking and raising his eyebrows at me.
I shush him, telling him to cut it out by narrowing my eyes and doing a swiping motion under my neck to make him stop.
Dani’s eyes meet Xander’s, her face softening and becoming full of intrigue. “I don’t think we’ve met before.”
“We haven”t, but I have heard a lot about you.” He sticks out his hand. “I’m Xander.”
She slides her hand into his, their hands interlocking for a shake. “Nice to meet you. I’m Dani.”
I roll my eyes, placing my hands on the temples of my forehead.
She walks away from Xander and leans up against the concrete wall opposite my sister’s room. She observes our conversation, studying my facial expressions and body movements.
This is making me uncomfortable.
“Is there anything we can do?” Grayson asks, sincerity cutting through his voice like a sharp knife.
“I think you guys should stay for a little while,” Dani suggests. “It would be good for Noah to be surrounded by some testosterone for a couple of hours or so. I mean he’s been around women for the past twenty-four hours.”
Xander raises his eyebrows.
Grayson opens his mouth. “She’s not wrong.”
She walks over to me. “I’m going to go home. I desperately need a shower.”
Now I’m picturing her naked body in the shower. Make it stop.
“Tell the guys how you feel. It doesn’t hurt to share your emotions once in a while,” she tells me, walking towards the elevators.
She mouths “breathe” to me, then the elevator doors open and she steps inside. The doors close 30 seconds later and she’s gone.
When I turn around, Grayson and Xander are staring at me with the same smug looks written all over their faces.
“What?” I ask, narrowing my eyes.
“When are you finally going to tell Dani you’re in love with her?” Grayson blurts out.
Ugh, not this shit again.
Xander chuckles softly, he covers his mouth in an attempt to hide the fact.
I grunt, rolling my eyes. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“You’re so full of shit, Noah. You’ve been crazy about this woman since we were kids.” Grayson pauses. “You continue denying your feelings buddy. I hope you know that burying them only makes it worse.”
“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. I don’t have feelings for Dani. I never have and never will.” I point to the hospital room behind me. “Do you see the room behind me? My sister is in there, lying on a bed unconscious. My dad passed away yesterday. This shit with Dani is irrelevant right now. Can we drop it…please?” I beg.
He puts both of his hands up. “Alright, I’ll shut up about it.”
“Thank you,” I say through a deep breath.
“You do know he’s never going to shut up about this, right?” Xander adds, the right side of his mouth curving up to form half of a smile.
“I know,” I say.
This is exactly why I didn’t call them. I knew Grayson would lose his mind over Dani being here because he’s convinced I’m hopelessly in love with her.
I’m not hopelessly in love with her. I have no idea what I’m feeling, but I know it isn’t love.
God, my brain doesn’t feel like it’s connected to my body anymore.
Yesterday didn’t feel real, none of this does.
It’s a nightmare that I can’t escape.
I wish I could go back in time and be the only one in the car. Dad would be alive. Lizzie wouldn’t be lying in a hospital bed. I would be. Or better yet, I wish I was in Dad’s place. Sounds morbid, but I do.
Dad had so many more years to live.
It’s not fair some asshole decided to cut his life short.
Maybe Grayson brought up the whole “love” thing with Dani to get my mind off everything that’s happened in the past twenty-four hours.
But the reality is my dad passed away.
He’s gone and he’s never coming back.
Get your shit together, man. You need to be strong for Mom and Lizzie.
“What exactly happened yesterday?” Grayson asks, pulling me back to reality while loosely combing his fingers through his dark brown locks.
“It’s a long story,” I reply.
“We’ve got time,” he responds.
“Yeah, we do,” Xander echoes.
I sit on one of the chairs against the wall in front of Lizzie’s room while Grayson and Xander are sitting across from me.
I tell them how Dad and Liz ended up here at the hospital, the car accident, Dad passing away, and how my sister’s recovery is going to be a long one.
They listen intently, allowing me to pour out my feelings which is something I don’t do often.
Xander opens his mouth and says, “I’m sorry the last twenty-four hours have been so shitty for you, man.”
“We’re just happy that you weren’t alone through all of this. If you were, we would’ve run a marathon to get here.” Grayson adds. “Next time something bad happens in our lives, we need to tell each other.”
I nod. “Agreed.”
Xander gives us a thumbs up. “You got it, dude.”
Grayson has this look on his face I can’t describe, but I have a feeling that I know what’s coming. “Can we acknowledge the elephant that left the room? The pretty elephant, might I add.” He tilts his head, raising his eyebrows over and over again
She’s a lion, always ready to go in for the kill.
“Dude, she’s not an elephant. And I told you to stop talking to me about this.” I stand my ground.
“Sorry, bad analogy.” Grayson blinks his eyes. “Noah, I’ve known you since we were kids. I’ve known Dani since we were kids. I’ve never seen you two in a room together without looking like you were going to murder each other. The energy felt different when Xander and I got here. Care to enlighten us, bro?”
He’s so adamant about this it’s getting on my damn nerves. I know what’s going to happen if I don’t talk about it though. He”s going to bother the shit out of me about it until I do, so I cave.
“Fine, dumbass. I’ll enlighten you. I thought Dani being here would be annoying as hell, but it turns out it isn’t. So. Far.”
Xander grins while Grayson has this smug look on his face I want to slap off. I don’t know why they’re both looking at me like that. “What?”
“Nothing,” Grayson says. “Nothing at all.”
Xander clears his throat so loud that the nurses at the front desk stare at us for a solid minute.
“Just say it.” My sarcasm is present because I want this interrogation to be over already.
Grayson turns towards Xander. “Do you want to take this or should I?”
“I mean you’ve known him longer, but let me take this one. You deserve a break,” Xander says as he stretches his arm to pat Grayson on the back.
Grayson crosses his arms over his broad chest and gets up to move his chair against the wall. He leans against the concrete wall. “Take it away, man.”
Xander gets up and moves his chair on the left side of me against the wall. Now, I’m in the middle of these two dumbasses.
“I know I just met Dani, but I’ve heard you talk about her non-stop throughout high school. You guys weren’t even talking anymore by the time we became friends. From what I just witnessed here today, I can say with confidence that you, Noah Matthew Kaplan, are undeniably in love with this woman.”
I stare off into the distance ahead, my mouth partially open and my eyebrows furrowing to express my annoyance. I close my mouth and whip my head in Xander’s direction.
My annoyance shifts into laughter, vibrating down to my stomach. “You literally just met her. How are you so confident about this? Wait, I see what’s going on here. Did Grayson put you up to this shit?”
A small smile appears on Xander’s face. “No, he didn’t. It’s just an observation I made.”
Just an observation, my ass.
“Let’s change the subject. You told us everything that happened. You didn’t tell us exactly what happened to your dad. Does the doctor know how it happened?” Grayson takes in what he said and rephrases. “Sorry, that didn’t come out right. What I meant was?—”
I cut him off. “I know what you meant. Dr. Miller told us his organs shut down due to the impact of the accident. Some asshole side-swiped them,” I say with a straight face, feeling my insides crushing piece by piece.
Xander walks over to me, arms spreading out until they wrap around me. At first, it makes me uncomfortable since I’m not the biggest fan of physical touch. Not right now anyway. But, I don’t mind it.
I hate when I’m in situations that are beyond my control.
I freeze with my arms pinned straight down both sides of my body. Eventually, I defrost my frozen, cold-hearted exterior and sink into the embrace. Our hands lightly pat each other’s backs.
Grayson is standing there with this sickeningly sweet expression written all over his face, tilting his head to the left and nodding.
“You’re an idiot,” I say.
Grayson smiles at me, laughing. “Hate to break it to you, but we’re both idiots. We”re founding members of The Idiot Club.”
“Hey, why am I not a part of The Idiot Club?” Xander is appalled at the idea that he wouldn’t be considered a founding member.
I beat Grayson before he can say something sarcastic and dumb. “You’ve always been a part of it. You just don’t want to accept it.”
I pull away from Xander’s hug and give him a playful punch below his left shoulder.
Xander rolls his eyes. “Oh, shut the hell up.”
“Okay, we’ve made it abundantly clear we’re all proud members,” I tell the guys. “I have to go home and pack. Celia wants me to stay at the house with Dani because she doesn’t feel comfortable leaving her alone.”
“I’m sorry. Come again. Dani’s mom wants you to stay with her? At her house?” Grayson’s tone is full of sarcasm.
I roll my eyes. “Yes, dipshit.”
“Oh, this is going to be interesting,” Xander adds.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” I say.
“Look at you with your big boy words. You really are a writer, aren’t you? Aren’t you?” Grayson rushes over to me, scratching the top of my head like I’m a human-sized dog.
Luckily, Xander comes to my rescue and I’m able to escape Grayson’s grasp.
Slapping Grayson’s wrist, I proceed to fix my hair and try to put certain tendrils back into place afterward. “You really are an idiot.”
“Haven’t we already established this?” Grayson puts his top lip over his bottom one, shrugging his shoulders.
“I don’t know if Lizzie’s going to wake up, and I don’t want to miss it if it happens.” My thoughts come out as one messy sentence.
Xander walks towards me and places his hands on my shoulders. “We’ll stay here. I’ll text you if something happens.”
“We both know there’s another reason you want to go home. We also know the reason isn’t at your home, but at another home down the street. The home you’re being forced to stay at where a particular brunette resides.” Grayson’s idiocracy is on full display yet again.
What a surprise.
“What?” Xander and I say in unison.
Grayson opens his mouth again and I just know it’s going to be something sarcastic and stupid. “Say hi to Dani for me, will you?”
“Do you ever just think to yourself, ‘Wow, now might be a good time to shut the hell up and not say anything’?” Xander punches Grayson on the upper part of his left arm.
“Death makes me uncomfortable.” Grayson shrugs his shoulders.
I check my back pocket to make sure my phone, car keys, and set of keys for the house are in there. And we’re good.
I glance into my sister’s room to see if she might wake up.
She’s lying there with her eyes shut, chest rising and lowering itself back into place.
God, I hate seeing her like this. It breaks my heart.
“We got this, bro. Go!” Xander pats my back.
“Thanks. Bye, losers.” I walk away from the guys, heading towards the elevators.
The button for the elevators lights up as I press it.
Here I am standing at the hospital.
I’m about to go pack up my stuff and drop it off at my childhood rival’s house. All because her mother is forcing me to stay with her.
I know I could’ve said no, but the look on Celia’s face was genuine. I could tell she was genuinely worried about Dani.
But, at the same time, what the hell is Celia thinking?
Why did she think having me stay with Dani would be a good idea?
It’s a horrible idea.
The doors to one of the elevators open.
I’m so exhausted. My eyes are struggling to stay open and my body feels sluggish. I think I ended up getting three hours of sleep last night. Honestly, I don’t know how anybody sleeps after going through a traumatic event like that.
When I reach the lobby, I take a deep breath and walk out of the elevator.
I debate on whether or not to run to the bathroom. Ultimately, I decided against it and headed towards the sliding glass doors. They open when they sense me approaching them.
Once I make my way into the parking lot, I search for my Subaru Forester.
You know how you forget where you park your car in a giant parking lot? Yeah, that’s what’s happening to me right now.
It takes me a solid three minutes to find my car—the Sunset Cove University magnet I have on the back helps. It stands out with the school’s signature teal, accompanied by a palm tree and birds.
My body goes into autopilot as I pull the keys out from my back pocket to unlock the car. Getting in the driver’s seat, I put my phone and house keys in the cup holder. The sound of silence fills the car as I turn it on and back out of the parking space.
The hospital is a fifteen-minute drive to Crystal Harbor, the neighborhood Dani and I grew up in.
Even with everything going on in my head, I can’t help but think about her the entire drive home.
Is she okay? What is she doing? Why the hell do I care? No, seriously, why do I care so much?
This is the woman who’d steal my shit when I wasn’t looking. The woman who would try to crush me at War of Words, but would unfortunately fail at it.
She’s the kind of woman who never admits defeat, and I can’t help but admit that it’s a quality I’ve admired about her since we were teenagers.
Either way, I can’t imagine any of this is easier for her.
Part of me wishes I could go back and be there for Dani. I’m just not sure if she would’ve wanted me there for her.
I wouldn’t if I was her.