Chapter 16 Incapable – Tara
A Couple of Days Later
“This is Ms. Morgan. How may I help you?” I spoke into my classroom phone.
“Ms. Morgan, you have a visitor at the front desk,” the attendance office receptionist Pam stated, utilizing an unreadable, surprisingly formal tone unlike the one she typically used when we interacted with each other.
“Is it a parent?” I asked, automatically running through my class roster, thinking about which parent would be the most likely to engage in an unplanned visit.
Mentally coming up empty handed, I didn’t know what was to become of the planning period I’d been looking forward to since the first bell rang indicating the school day had begun.
“No, Ms. Morgan. It’s a personal visit. Very personal. ” I knew Pam was throwing me a clue, and I felt bad for not catching it. “I’ll send him back.”
Still attempting to process the cryptic nature of her warning, I ended the call and cleared the papers from my desk which I had been grading.
I was more than halfway through analyzing the spelling pop quiz I’d given my students the day before and found myself being hopeful my unexpected guest wouldn’t keep me too long and I could finish before I left for the day.
Grading assignments was one of the few aspects of being a teacher I tried to put off, and it was only because it took a certain mental space to get through two hundred copies of the same thing, but I had a love for teaching, and I did my best to translate my enjoyment to my students.
For me, pop quizzes were one of the best ways to keep my students on their toes while ensuring they were grasping the beauty of the English language.
A knock on the frame of my classroom door gained my attention. Since the door was open, Jason didn’t have anything stopping him from boldly barging into my space as if he’d been granted permission.
Sucking my teeth in response, it amazed me how I had spent the better half of my life being blindly loyal to a man who as of late, I couldn’t stand to share the same space with.
“Jason, if you’re going to make a habit out of showing up unannounced and uninvited, please let me know so that I can head to the police department and get a much-necessary restraining order.”
Taking in his appearance, he was dressed in casual clothing, and if I had to guess, I would say the red bruise across the bottom half of his face had stopped him from being in attendance at this firm.
Missing a Monday at work was something he rarely if ever did, but to save his ego, I knew he would put up the front of working from home for as long as the bruise staked claim on his light pigmented skin.
Jason had always put me in the mind of Michael Ealy with the exception of his blue eyes. One of the minor distinctions between the two was Jason had fuller lips and his eyes were several shades darker than my previous celebrity crush.
“Tara, you would never get a restraining order placed against me,” he stated as a smirk rested on his face.
“Is that what you think, Jason?”
“No, Tara. It’s what I know.”
“There was once a time where I thought you would never disrespect me, and you proved me wrong. For my safety and my sanity, I won’t hesitate to go down to the courthouse and tell them how I rightfully fear for my wellbeing when I’m around you.”
“Is that what made your little bodyguard attack me? If it’s anyone who should be at the courthouse in search of a restraining order, it should be me getting one against him!
Why was he even there in the first place?
For God’s sake, look at what he did to my face,” he cried, pointing to his mark of shame.
“Jason, you are at my place of employment. Please lower your voice,” I stated, rushing to the door before a crowd of staff members came by with buckets of popcorn in tow. My heels clicking away against the linoleum tiles in my classroom, were reminiscent of the dance my nerves were doing.
“I know where I am, Tara. I had to go through loops and give my id to Pam who already knew who I was, just so she could buzz me back here, and don’t think for a second that I missed her snide tone when she told you it was a personal visit. What have you been telling her?”
“I haven’t been telling her anything, but she is well aware that you are my ex -husband.”
“You love to throw around how I’m your ex-husband, but you’re still carrying my last name. Tara, you love being associated with me and you know it. I’m the best thing to ever happen to you, Mrs. Morgan.”
“Jason, give it a rest. To set the record straight, Jaedan and Raegan are the best things to happen to me and the only good things to come from you. You and I both know you only want me because it looks like I’m moving on—”
“Well, are you?”
“Am I what, Jason?”
“Are you moving on with someone else?”
“What I do with my time and who I share my body with is none of your concern. It stopped being your concern the moment you broke our vows. I can only pray you give your wife as much attention as you’re giving me.”
“Amber doesn’t have anything to do with this,” he declared, attempting to pull me into him.
Shoving him away from me, he wore a look of utter surprise as if he was expecting me to allow him to invade my space.
“And that’s the problem, Jason, because she should.
Amber should be at the top of your mind right now because she is your wife,” I sassed in contempt, giving him a piece of my mind which was long overdue.
“You thought the grass was so much greener on the other side, and you broke our vows to find out it wasn’t.
I can take ownership of making you think there could be something between the two of us again, but there can’t.
We aren’t together for a reason, and I should have never blurred the lines of separation, or in our case divorce. ”
“But you did, and we can only move forward from that. I know you still love me, Tara. No matter what little love affair you have going on with Zane, it will always be me for you.”
“Jason, you are downright delusional!”
“No, Tara! What I am is a man who wants his family back. I want to be home with you and my children.”
“You sound like a sick and condescending bastard,” I stated, shocked that I was bold enough in the moment to unapologetically state how I genuinely felt about him.
I had had enough of him and his shenanigans. “You have a wife and a child outside of the relationship we had. You should be at home with them.”
“What has gotten into you, Tara? You should be happy that I want to come back home to you. I know you never wanted to get the divorce in the first place, so here’s your chance to have me back.”
“Jason, for the sake of our children, please let this be the last time we have this conversation,” I pleaded.
“Us having sex was a massive mistake which should have never happened. As a woman, I felt the need to get back at Amber. You moved on well before I did, so there shouldn’t be a problem.
For the sake of not backsliding in our coparenting relationship, I think it’s best for us to act as if it never happened. ”
“Tara, I know you don’t mean what you’re saying right now. You’re just confused.”
“Ironically, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I don’t want you, Jason. I wanted revenge. Nothing more and nothing less. I don’t want to have anything to do with you aside from a healthy friendship that allows us to be the best parents we can be.”
“Is this because Zane is back in town?”
“No, Zane honestly doesn’t have anything to do with this,” I admitted. “Do you know that our son doesn’t respect the way you treated me when you were my husband?”
“Jaedan is a child. When he gets a wife of his own and has a household to run, then and only then can he talk to me about how I treated you.”
“Jason, you honestly can’t see fault in what you’re saying can you?” I asked as my anger turned into sympathy in an instant.
To an extent, I could understand his warped perception of ownership when it came to me because we were in a relationship for so long, but when it came to his understanding of the roles he should’ve played in relationship to our children, I couldn’t understand his logic.
“How could you be okay with our son not respecting you on any level, especially the level of how he views the way you treat his mother?”
“He doesn’t know anything, Tara, he’s a child!” Jason barked as spit flew from his mouth, barely missing me. “I could care less about his opinion to be honest.”
“Really? Wow… Just wow! Jason, I don’t want a man who can speak about his own son like that.
You don’t have respect for anyone outside of yourself, and ironically, you’re the person who isn’t deserving of anything other than a slap in the face, or a kick in the ass because poignantly you’ve already been hit in the face. ”
“Let’s take a breather because I think we’re getting off on the wrong foot.”
“No, we’re not. I’m just finally seeing you for the sorry excuse of a man you’ve always been.
Now, please leave my classroom before I call security and ask them to remove you.
I know you could care less, but I would hate for our children to witness their father being drug out of their school kicking and screaming like the fool he is. ”
“Tara—”
Holding up my hand to stop him from talking, I walked over to the side of my chair, and picked up my desk phone, fully prepared to call the security desk.
“I’m leaving,” he conceded before my finger could hit the first number in the extension.
Defeat was evident in his demeanor, and I hoped it meant he heard everything I said, especially regarding how our son had grown to ultimately resent him.
Jason needed a change starting with the man in the mirror, but knowing him, he would find fault with everyone around him before he found fault in himself.