chapter 17
Sebastian
IT’S FRIDAY NIGHT, AND I’M barefoot on the deck, grilling up burgers—plant-based ones, for my girl Nora—sipping a cold beer from a sweating bottle.
Hippie Sabotage plays low over the speakers in my living room, the music slipping out through the open sliding glass door.
In the distance, the sunset paints the ocean in hues of pink and gold, and a breeze twines through the palms along one side of my house, making their huge long leaves rustle and sway.
I flip the burgers on the grill and take another sip from my bottle. As I hum along to the song, behind me, there’s the sudden sound of dog nails scrabbling on hardwood.
I’m smiling before I even turn around.
A golden retriever comes barreling through the open door onto the deck, and I put my beer down to bend over and ruffle her silky ears.
“Hey, Nala girl.” Then I’m surprised when another dog—a blue-gray pitbull—appears in the doorway, tail wagging, but looking a bit hesitant.
I kneel down next to Nala and hold my hand out to the other dog. “And who’re you?”
Nora appears behind the dog, holding a tray of what look like cookies. “This is River,” she says, smiling down at the pitty. “We adopted her from Jordan’s rescue.”
“No way! That’s awesome. Congrats.”
While I’m distracted, Nala licks the side of my face, making me pull away and laugh.
I push to my feet and meet Nora at the big outdoor dining table. After she puts the tray of cookies down, she holds her arms out, and I pull her into a hug.
“What’re you making?” she asks, peering around me toward the grill.
“Beyond Burgers,” I say. “Just for you.”
She grins up at me. “Thanks, Seb.”
There’re footsteps through the house, and Dex, Jordan, and Michael step out onto the porch. I greet them, shaking Michael’s and Dex’s hands, then tugging Jordan in for a hug.
“Lucas and Alisha aren’t here yet?” she asks.
I shake my head. “Nope. Not yet.”
Jordan gets a weird look on her face.
“Why?” I ask. “What’s up?”
She shrugs one shoulder, then reaches up to tuck a strand of blond hair behind her ear, the diamond on her wedding ring catching the light. “Nothing. They’ve just been weird lately.”
I want to ask what she means, but River decides she’s comfortable enough now to approach me, and I get distracted with petting her while she pants and smiles that big pitbull smile at me.
Dogs are so awesome.
Jordan wanders off to talk to Nora, and Michael comes over to greet me.
“How was Vegas, man?” he asks. “You went back there this week, didn’t you?”
As I straighten from scratching River behind her floppy ear, a smile tugs at my mouth. “It was sweet. Next time we go there, I’ve got to show you this local pizza place Remi took me to.”
Michael smiles, his dark eyes crinkling in the corners. “Remi, huh? Jordan keeps asking me about this girl you met. At least now I’ve got a name to give her.”
I guess I’ve been pretty secretive about it all, though I haven’t meant to be. It just feels . . . fragile right now, like Remi could take off running from me at any second, leaving nothing but footprints in the desert sand. Talking about her feels like I might be jinxing it or something.
River trots off to join Nala in sniffing around the deck, and Alisha appears in the doorway, her waist-length braids twisted up into a knot on the top of her head.
She smiles at us as a chorus of greetings go out to her, then moves across the deck to join Jordan and Nora on the couch near the firepit.
Jordan hugs her, then puts a cold beer in her hand.
A moment later, Lucas steps out onto the deck, hands in the front pockets of his ripped jeans, mouth pressed into the firm line that means he’s probably in one of his Lucas moods.
Great.
Dex greets him, clapping a hand down onto his shoulder, but Lucas shrugs him off and walks to the ice bucket to get himself a beer.
“Is something going on with him?” I whisper to Michael.
“Who?” He turns to look over his shoulder as Lucas pops the cap off his beer bottle, then looks back at me with a shrug. “I have no idea.”
I’m not surprised. Michael stays out of all the drama.
Lucas stares at the beer in his hand, hesitating for a moment, then downs half of it in a couple swings.
I’m still watching him when the smell of burning burgers reaches my nose.
“Shit!”
I whirl around and hurry back to the grill, and I’m in the middle of flipping the Beyond patties when my phone buzzes. Reaching into the pocket of my sweats, I grab my cell and pull it out. And my lips immediately curl into a smile when I see the name on the screen: Remi.
How’s your hand? Hope you can still hold your drumsticks, rock star.
We’ve been texting on and off since I flew home on Tuesday, and every time a message comes through from her, my body reacts with a wave of heat and a tingle of excitement.
I hold out my hand, with my palm mostly healed up after my crash on the skateboard, and take a quick photo, sending it into our message thread.
It’d be better if you were here. C
The text whooshes away, and I slip my cell back into my pocket, still smiling to myself.
“Those done yet or what?” Dex sidles up next to me. “Dude, you’re burning them!” He takes the metal spatula from my hand and elbows me out of the way. “Go get the buns. Hurry up.”
“Okay, okay.” I obey, jogging across the deck to grab the buns from where I left them in the kitchen. On my way into the house, my cell buzzes again, and I pause at the kitchen counter to pull it out.
Guess you’ll have to come see me again.
Under the text, a photo comes through, and my throat goes tight when I see it.
It’s a photo of Remi sitting in front of a vanity mirror, makeup halfway done, black hair pulled into a messy bun on the top of her head. It looks like she’s getting ready to go to the club.
And she’s so fucking beautiful. It’s hard to see, but there’s a little silver scar on her hairline, the one she told me she got when she fell off her skateboard when she was learning. I want to trail my fingers over it, to kiss—
“That your girl?”
Lucas’s voice is in my ear, one of his arms coming to rest across my shoulders.
I lock the phone screen quickly, though I’m not sure why. It’s almost like I want to keep Remi to myself, tucked away where no one can hurt her.
“I mean, she’s not my girl,” I say, sliding my cell back into my sweats pocket and shaking Lucas’s arm off before grabbing the bag of burger buns from the counter. “She’s—”
“Sebastian!” Dex yells from out on the deck. River and Nala bark, creating a raucous outburst. Dex raises his voice to say, “Where the fuck are those buns?”
I move past Lucas, but as I go, I hear him mumble, “Keep tellin’ yourself that . . .”
Later that night, after we’ve finished eating and are sitting around the firepit in the dark, I remember that I never texted Remi back.
I move my beer bottle to my other hand and wiggle my cell out of my pocket.
River is sitting next to me on the patio couch, and she perks her ears up and tilts her head at my movement.
I reread Remi’s message and stare down at her photo.
Guess you’ll have to come see me again.
I’d love nothing more than to see her again, but we’re in the studio this coming week, so I won’t be able to fly back to Vegas until the following week. That’ll be two weeks without seeing her, and it makes me feel a pit of loneliness, even as I’m surrounded by my favorite people.
I’m still staring down at the photo of Remi when my phone is snatched out of my hand.
“Hey!”
I look up, and Alisha has my cell in one hand.
She tips her head and stares down at the screen, lips turning up in one corner.
“So, this is the woman we’ve all been so curious about, hmm?
” She turns the cell around, and everyone but Lucas leans forward, squinting to try to see the photo on the screen.
“Oh,” Jordan says, blinking in the firelight. “She’s pretty, Seb.”
Nora smiles but says nothing. Nala is lying next to her, head in her lap, and Nora pets her slowly.
“You never texted back.” Alisha arches a black brow at me.
“Well, I was about to.” I hold out a hand for my phone, but she doesn’t give it back.
“Let’s send her a photo, since she sent you one,” she says. “Everyone, smile.”
Alisha holds up the cell, and I barely have time to blink before she snaps a photo, the flash bright against the darkness. She looks down at it and laughs. “This is perfect. I’m sending it.”
There’s a whoosh as the text goes out, and then Alisha offers the phone to me. I pluck it from her fingers and immediately look at the photo she sent.
And it’s kind of the perfect representation of us.
Alisha’s smiling face is in the foreground, selfie style.
Nora and Jordan are sitting close to each other on one couch, Nala’s eyes closed where she’s asleep with her head in Nora’s lap.
Dex is in his own chair, leaning back, beer in one hand, chain around his neck glinting in the flash from the camera.
Michael and Lucas sit next to each other, an acoustic guitar in Michael’s lap, Lucas’s hand held up, flipping the camera off.
And then there’s me. River and I are both staring at the camera, and we look surprised, eyes wide, caught off guard by the sudden photograph.
What will Remi think of this? A tinge of uncertainty goes through me.
These people in the photo are my people, the ones I love and would do anything for.
And there’s a part of me, growing louder every day, that wants Remi to be my people too.
But I don’t know if that’s what she wants, and it’s still way too early to ask.
A hand falls down on my shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. When I look up, Alisha’s smiling at me.
“She seems cool,” she says softly as Michael starts to pluck at the guitar. “I’m happy for you.” Her gaze flicks to Lucas, who’s staring into the crackling fire, and her smile falters.