33. Lilith
LILITH
Soft lips press against my temple. My cheek. My nose.
“Lilith.”
I haven’t fully woken up yet, and my body is already responding to Alaric, same as it does every morning.
Need pools between my thighs. My nipples tighten. A warm flutter races over my skin.
“Little devil.” A strong hand curls around my throat. The touch is confident. Comforting. It’s home. “Time to wake up.”
“Mmm.” That indulgent mmm, I never did that before I met Alaric.
It’s his fault for turning me into this pampered, worshipped princess. His gifts, his affection, how he takes extra care of me after we have sex.
No one can survive this kind of treatment without becoming a little spoiled.
That has to be why my eyes stay closed. Why I refuse to bother myself with anything other than, “Mmm.”
“Hey.” His thumb drags over my bottom lip.
At least I think it does. The light pressure over my mouth tells me his finger is there, moving, except…
I only feel it on parts of my lips.
Is my mouth numb?
As the question rises, my pulse starts to pick up. My subconscious warns me against…
Against what?
I force my senses to work. To sharpen.
It’s then that I realize that I have crumpled fabric filling my mouth. That another piece of silk is wedged between my teeth.
I’m not spoiled.
I’m…
Gagged.
I’m gagged, and Alaric doesn’t do anything about it.
Because.
Because—oh, no.
Oh, no.
Flashbacks from yesterday pummel into me at a frightening speed.
The storage unit. Fraser. The notebook.
Everything had been going according to plan. Alaric’s and my happily ever after was just within reach.
Then.
The needle.
The binds and gags.
How he wouldn’t listen. How he held me while I cried myself to sleep.
The more vivid these images become, the stronger the nausea that’s churning in my stomach.
I’m not afraid of him.
But why did he have to do this?
A few days to let it sink in.
Won’t have a chance to run.
I’ll have to work harder to convince you staying is the right thing.
Why? Why, why, why?
I told him I loved him. I saw the notebook, and I told him I loved him still.
And yet he doesn’t believe me.
“Mmm.” The garbled please comes out at the same time I open my eyes.
Despite the adrenaline and panic threatening to swallow me whole, I can’t help but notice how handsome he is.
His hair is messy but perfect. His stubble somehow highlights his cheekbones and defined jaw.
Morning light glimmers in his blue eyes, and so does love.
Perched on his elbow and wearing a gray Henley that stretches over his muscles, he’s breathtaking.
“There you are.” Alaric’s huge hand covers my entire cheek. “My Lilith.”
He looks a little unhinged and somewhat broken, but he’s nonetheless mine.
There’s still hope for him. For us.
“Mmm.” Please, I try to say again, and fail. My speech is restrained. So are my arms and legs when I try to move them. My gaze lifts to Alaric’s, pleading. Begging. “Mmm.”
“Don’t…” That one command holds rivers of pain. “Please, stop tugging on the binds. Your ankles, your wrists. Don’t hurt yourself.”
Release me, and I’ll be fine. Better than fine. Since I can’t talk, I give him a meaningful look, smiling despite the double gag that’s restricting my lips.
“I’ll release you,” he says, as if reading my mind. “Only so you can use the bathroom. With me there.”
Disappointment is a heavy weight. It almost smothers the sliver of hope I have.
Never.
He promised I wouldn’t be harmed. That he’d let me go if he believed I accepted the other side of him.
I trust him to be true to his word or to come to his senses, whichever happens first. Hell, by this time tomorrow, this will have all blown over. This whole ordeal will be nothing but a bump in the road that we’ll laugh about years later.
It’s going to be fine.
“After that, we’ll have a shower together. Then we’ll talk.” His thumb is soft on my cheekbone, his touch reverent. “Well, today, I will. You’ll listen.”
Ha. Of course I’m going to talk too. I’ll find a way. I’ll fight for us.
It won’t be easy. I can tell just by looking at him that it’ll be an uphill battle.
Despite the pain I see on his face, there’s determination there. Composure. Stillness.
Yesterday, his resolve scared the shit out of me. Mom had abused me for years, but I’d never been kidnapped or tied up. I fucking lost it. And with good reason.
Today, I’m… No, I’m not used to it. But it isn’t as terrifying. As stifling.
I can think. I can plan.
I can save Alaric from himself.
So instead of shaking my head and growling at him, I play it smart.
“Mm-mm.” I infuse submission into the sound, praying it comes out as okay.
“Good girl.”
His praise washes over me, easing the tension from my body. I sink into the mattress while his deft fingers work the ties at my wrists first, then my ankles.
Each knot that falls away is followed by the brush of Alaric’s lips, by his fingers soothing the places where the restraints held me.
At least the stretch on my shoulders is no more.
“Come on, little devil.” His chest expands before he schools his expression. “We have a long day ahead of us.”
Needing to get things started just as much as he does, I wrap my arms around his neck, letting him carry me to the bathroom.
As Alaric and I shower together, the water seeps into the gags until they’re soaked through.
The sensation isn’t comfortable. More like strange.
Still far less strange and uncomfortable than what happened a few minutes ago when I used the bathroom. He crossed his arms over his chest and didn’t turn around, all so I couldn’t remove the gags.
He thinks he’s protecting your relationship. He loves you.
It was hard to remember that when I was painfully exposed to him.
I’m better now that it’s over. When he looks at me with so much affection. When his hands massage shampoo into my hair.
His ministrations are controlled, yet soothing. He’s being thorough, but never aggressive.
I’m not like his other captives.
I’m not.
Then again… What happens if, when he finally hears me out, he decides I’m lying?
What if his fears win out and our fairytale turns into a tragedy?
A shudder ripples through me. My hands shiver on his waist, not knowing whether to hold on or let go.
“Shh.”
One of his arms loops around me, his hand splaying over the curve of my spine. He’s both keeping me upright and pulling me toward him.
And though his cock throbs between us, Alaric doesn’t try to force anything on me.
I’m safe.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” he reassures me for the umpteenth time. “I never will.”
I should remind him that gagging me and locking me up does, in fact, hurt me.
Can’t.
First, there are the gags. Second, I won’t blame him for doing what he thinks is best for us.
He’ll come around.
Don’t you dare doubt him, Lilith.
I’ll do my best, I answer the voice in my head. I won’t give up on him.
When my body and hair are clean, Alaric wraps his fingers around my throat. His gaze is dark and burrows into me as he shampoos and then soaps himself with one hand.
I shouldn’t get distracted. I shouldn’t let how hot he is throw me off.
I totally do.
Focus!
“All done.” He turns off the water, slides his palm to my lower back, and guides me out of the shower. “Let’s dry you off.”
I hum when he runs the softest towel over my body. His methodical, careful, adoring way of toweling me off becomes my entire tether to this earth.
Whatever tension was left in me eases further when he kneels in front of me, dragging the towel over my pussy. Arousal slicks my inner thighs, earning me a low growl and a soft kiss against my hipbone.
Bliss envelops me for all of a second. Then, as he straightens, anxiety sneaks in.
Hope.
She’s got to be out of her mind with worry. She’ll call the cops. This will be the first place they search.
No.
Alaric doesn’t chase me when I turn around, rise on my tiptoes, and write her name on the steam-fogged mirror.
“She’s fine.” He dries himself off and knots the towel around his hips. Tying a clean, dry one around me too, he looks at me while I frown at him through our reflection in the mirror. “I, well, you, texted her and said I’d come down with something and you’re taking care of me.”
Another shudder rakes through my body.
She won’t be looking for me, then. Not for a while.
And if something in Alaric snaps… If he steals me away to another state, another country…
“Mmm.” A tear breaks free from the corner of my eye.
“You’re safe.” One hand on my stomach, he presses me to him until I’m flush against his chest. “It’s okay. I swear that everything will be okay.”
Another tear follows. Then another. Alaric kisses the top of my head. Then, with his free hand, he grabs a brush from the vanity and holds it up.
“Let me brush your hair.” His eyes pierce me through the mirror, begging me to say yes. “You’ll feel better after that.”
I will. I know I will. You’ll make sure of that.
Because you’re not evil. Not an abuser.
An abuser wouldn’t have cared so much.
An abuser wouldn’t have asked for my consent.
That seems to settle me, and I give in.
For now, I surrender to Alaric.