19. AVERY
AVERY
Flustered, it doesn’t matter how hard I try to focus on the road, all I can feel is Rhett’s presence. His scent fills my lungs, seeping into my bloodstream, warming me from the inside out as I squeeze the burning energy vibrating through me into the bear on my lap.
Again, the pang to let him in hits me hard.
I wasn’t sure what tonight would entail—a part of me was dreading the possibility that he might realize that being with me is more of a headache than he’s willing to take on.
Hell, he might still come to that conclusion, but the gesture, as mushy as it is, puts me at ease. It ignites fresh hope inside me.
Where there’s hope, there’s love. Mom’s voice fills my thoughts. When I catch a side glance of him, the butterflies that have been fluttering in my belly since this morning dart in every direction.
Every action Rhett takes is so sincere, so thoughtful, that I can’t help let my guard down. I feel things I’ve never felt. From the way he looks at me, to the way he touches me, there is a reverence—a care—that no one has ever lavished me with.
Our gazes catch for a heated second, leaving me incapable of thinking of anything other than the way his hands grazed my thighs as he buckled me in. The way his hot breath tickled over my skin, seeping under my skirt to my—
My thought slams to a halt as the car swerves to the side of the road, and before I’m fully aware of what’s happening, Rhett’s hand is curling into my hair, tugging my face closer to his as he leans across the console and presses his mouth to mine.
Hard, as though he needs me desperately.
I yelp as his teeth sink into my bottom lip with a deep, guttural groan that vibrates all the way through me.
There’s a seismic shift with the way he’s touching me and taking—taking as though there is nothing he needs more than me.
“Oh…” The whimper escapes me with the desperate lick of his tongue into my mouth, swirling over mine to a low growl.
And God, he tastes so good. Minty and sweet.
The citrusy tang of his cologne that fills my lungs is maddening in a way that consumes every breath, heartbeat, and sense, leaving me wanting more of him unlike I’ve ever wanted anything else in this life.
“Rhett,” I moan as he pulls away slightly to look at me.
The hand still clutching at my hair presses to the curve of my neck, the bite of it shocking my roots with a current that travels all the way to my core, a tidal wave of desire that completely overtakes me. His uncontrolled force surprises me, leaving me in a frenzy of lust and confusion.
The force and slip of his usual control is empowering, building an inferno deep inside me that flames higher with the urgency of his kiss.
I’m completely lost in him, in the way he licks over my top lip with the tip of his tongue, his blue-green eyes brighter than ever around his obsidian pupils.
One of my hands clasps around his bulging shoulder while the other flattens to his hard stomach, and as it slips lower, I feel the heat of his need below my wrist.
Yearning pulses through me, pooling between my thighs. I’ve never felt this wanted or needed before. As though I hold the power, because as much as he takes from me, he gives me more with his desperate groans and his control-strained touches.
“Fuck, Avery, you need to tell me to stop.” He looks down on me, licking his lips before he bites down on them as though he’s hopelessly trying to hold himself back. “Tell me to take it easy on you.”
“No.” I shake my head, pulling him closer. “I-I like it. Like this. I like it this way.” I twist my hand in his shirt, luxuriating in the way his body is racking as violently as mine to our proximity.
“You want me to stop, sweetheart.” Eyes screwed shut, he rolls his forehead over mine.
It’s as though I can hear his silent pleas for me to do as he’s asking…begging, but I can’t. I won’t.
I want more. I want him to be the only mark on my body, my heart, and my soul that burns after tonight.
Rhett could overshadow all my scars if I let him.
And now more than ever, I want to open myself up to him.
To let him lighten my darkness. I want to allow him to eradicate the pain with my longing ache for him.
“I want to do the right thing, Avery. Sunshine, let me do the right thing.”
“This doesn’t feel wrong, Doc.”
Clutching at the open collar of his striped Oxford shirt, I pull myself as close as I can with my seatbelt still on and the center console in the way.
Kissing the corner of my mouth, he inhales deeply. “I’m trying to be a good person…trying to deserve you…”
“You are,” I tell him, my voice breaking with the agony my need is clawing at my insides. “You do.”
It’s me that might never be enough. Even so, I want to know the extremity of his affection and desire for me. It’s a risk that I can’t shy away from anymore.
“Fuck.” His curse rumbles from his lips with a vigor that sparks bright in my chest, igniting life into every wilted and battered shadow of my being.
For so long everything has been so dark and muddied, and somehow, he’s brought color to my entire existence when the only place I could find it before was in Iris. It’s inside me now.
“I’m going to pull back now, and we’re going to have dinner…” He swallows hard before he continues. “Because I want to romance you. It’s what you deserve. Is that okay with you?”
I swallow just as hard, nodding while he reticently does as he said, watching as I fall back into my seat, panting and clawing at my thighs with the frustration of my longing. While I focus on the sun and sea embroidered on the blue bear on my lap.
The sun isn’t setting quite yet, but the sky is dimming slightly with the expectation of it. I thought we were going into Silverlark Harbor, but we’re navigating a dirt road on the side of a cliff. As Rhett keeps driving, I look around while trying to figure out where he’s taking me.
“We’re almost there,” he tells me, turning into a precariously narrowed downslope.
My entire body is still humming from our kiss.
Water is still pooling in my mouth at the scent of the leather and his cologne mixed with the briny sea air.
The more I think about it, the faster my pulse flutters, erratic in its rhythm as it builds up and slows with my nerves and the excitement of being with him.
“Where are we?” I ask as he takes a U-bend into a wider area where he parks.
Getting out, Rhett rounds to my side. My heart is up in my throat as he helps me out, sitting the Care Bear in my place before threading his fingers with mine.
“We’re right at the bottom, over there.” He points down over the edge of the rock face as he walks me hand in hand. “Do you want to check on Iris?”
I feel myself flush because he must have noticed the way I’ve checked my phone a few times in the last ten minutes.
“No, Callie is sending me photos. I don’t want to be overbearing, you know?”
“You’re not,” he tells me, leading me down the last steep part of the path. “It’s okay for you to worry. Good moms do.”
“I’ve been neurotic about keeping her close since we’ve been here.”
“It’s understandable.”
“Tonight is the first time I’m letting go and that I’ve not been with her ever.”
“Ever?” Rhett helps me down to a rocky shore that’s a little mossed over.
Small rock pools are beginning to fill with the incoming tide. I’ve never been somewhere so secluded and untouched. Although, there is a long jetty that he takes me up, and at the end is a stunning polished white sailboat.
“It’s always been me and her. Iris is my best friend in a lot of ways.” Something that I know isn’t normal for most people, but it’s the way our life has been, until now. “Anyway, I’m meant to be focusing on tonight, not talking about my abandonment issues.”
“You can talk about whatever you like, Avery.” Rhett pauses in front of the redwood-accented boat. “Past, present…anything. I’m big enough and ugly enough to handle it.”
He steps into the boat, letting go of my hand before grasping me around my waist and lifting me on board. My arms wrap tightly around his shoulders. I’m certain my feet touch the deck, but with him holding me…I feel weightless. And when his arms envelop me, I press my lips to his on pure instinct.
I’m still for a moment, waiting for him to take over. His loss of control and composure around me is…intoxicating. I crave it like my lungs burn for air when I hold my breath, and the very first rush of it is glorious.
It’s so freaking sexy. The thought makes me blush with how close we are. It sounds so loud in my head that I’m certain he can hear my internal swooning over him.
It hits me then that I don’t want him to take over. I want to kiss him.
Licking over his lips, I twist my fingers into his hair, like he twisted his hands into mine earlier. The low, pleasured rumble that vibrates from him makes my heart race. My skin feels alive all on its own as the soft breeze wisps over it.
When I kiss the perfectly defined dip of his cupid’s bow, Rhett opens his mouth a fraction, enough that my bottom lip slips between his.
Letting myself go, I deepen our kiss, savoring the roll of his tongue with mine, the way his groans meld with my soft moans into an electric melody that amps up the need to get closer.
God, I want him so bad.
If I could sink into him completely, I would. This blissful feeling of being wanted in return is so heady, leaving me giddy and wanton.
Wanton. I can’t remember ever feeling like this.
I can’t remember ever kissing anyone like this.
Like my entire life depends on the taste and feel and connection of our mouths.
I thought I disliked these kinds of kisses, but it’s obvious that it wasn’t the action, it was the man.
And the man I’m kissing now is unlike any other I’ve ever known.