18. RHETT
RHETT
The monotone beep of the monitor is a motherfucking omen for the rest of the day. All I can fucking think about is the patient I lost and the way his wife looked at me when I informed her of it.
“You need to stop beating yourself up about it, dude. He knew the risk, and he chose to have the procedure anyway,” Luke says from my doorway. “Triple bypass is no joke, and the fact that he was diabetic…come on, you knew this wasn’t going to be your usual fairy-tale surgery.”
“Don’t we have this conversation every time?”
“You do it for me, and I do it for you. It’s what we do.” He comes inside and lies on the leather chesterfield in the seating area in front of my desk. “Fuck, I don’t think I’m going to be able to get up again. Beth isn’t sleeping, and the soundtrack of her swearing is keeping me up too.”
“Isn’t that practice for what’s to come?”
“Fuck, mate, I can’t even fucking think to filter. I had to tell one of my patients that he’s got stage four heart failure, and I fucking blurted it out like a cunt. My wife has finally offed my tact.” He gestures slitting his throat as he emphasizes, “Dead. Gone.”
“Like my patient.”
“Fucking hell, Reynolds, don’t you have your date tonight?”
“Yeah.” It’s been the one thing keeping me going today.
Iris is having a sleepover at Callie’s to celebrate her first week at her new school. I’ve planned every part of this date meticulously. I can’t wait to leave the clinic and get lost in my own precious sunshine.
“Right, so shouldn’t you be trimming your sac or something?” Luke yawns up at the ceiling.
“What the what? Is that a British thing? Trimming your sac—that sounds wrong on so many levels.”
“See? I’m even sounding like her. I have Beth brain, and it’s a fucking disaster.
She’s forgetting toast in the toaster, practically set the house on fire after she left her cheese on toast under the grill, and to make matters worse, she broke the kettle.
I can’t even make myself a decent cup of tea to chi myself. ”
“I think you meant Zen.”
“Case in point. I’m worried one of these days I’m going to walk in here and you’re going to mistake me for one of your bimbos.”
“Fuck you, dude, and fuck off.” Standing from my desk chair, I grab my jacket and shrug it on before I head out of my office. “Don’t sleep in my office. I don’t want the stench of miserable ass in the leather.”
“You’re a dick.”
“You wish you had my dick.”
“Mate, it’s probably fucking riddled.,” He follows me to the small parking lot behind the clinic where we’re parked side by side. “Go on your date and get your end away so you’re back to cocky arsehole next week.”
“It’s not like that.”
“You better be talking about the girl and not the mood.” He gets in his sleek Tesla with the bright red car seat in the back.
When he notices me staring at it, he sighs.
“Don’t. She’s gone bloody nuts—I have one in mine, she has one in her car, and there’s a spare at home.
The longer this pregnancy drags out, the crazier she gets. ”
Hearing him talk like that makes me think of the conversation Avery and I had at our picnic.
She’s a wonderful mom, and maybe it isn’t a part of her future plans, but she’s still young.
There’s time for her to change her mind, and it bothers me to think that it’s the one thing I might not be able to give her.
“You’re in over your head,” Luke chuckles. “I haven’t met her, but seeing you like this…I know I’m going to like her.”
“I wish I’d seen her coming so I could’ve prepared myself.”
“Look, Beth was a one-night stand, and now look at us. She followed me halfway across the world and married me in a dingy chapel in the middle of buttfuck South Carolina, and now she’s making me a dad. At no point did I see any of this coming, not even her.”
“Avery’s every single thing I never thought I wanted and that I had given up on. I thought I was done, but from the moment I met her, she’s all I can think about. And before you make some stupid lewd joke, it’s not sex.”
“It has to start somewhere.” Luke gets in his car and heads off, leaving me to ponder his words.
It has to start somewhere.
It’s been about the sex and nothing more for so long that I am in over my head with Avery. She makes me question everything I’ve ever told myself about what I wanted out of life. Success isn’t enough anymore. Fleeting and forgettable moments that bear no fulfillment or joy don’t hold any appeal.
The ranch looks different as I cruise down the bald cypress–lined drive. The two-day heat wave is beginning to wane, but even with the AC blowing cool, I can’t shake the heat coursing through me.
When I stop the car close to the house, Jo stands from where she’s sitting on the porch. She’s got that look in her eyes that tells me she means business. Breeze and Wave greet me as I jump out of my Jag, looking back to see that everything is as it should be.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Jo grunts, following my gaze when she stops in front of me. “How old do you think she is?”
“Mind your own damn business.” I stick my tongue out at her as she pinches my chin.
“Listen here. You better not hurt my girl.”
“Your girl?”
“I’m serious, Rhett.” The use of my first name is sobering. “Promise me you’re not going to hurt her.”
I know better than to make promises that I can’t keep.
I’ve been there, done that, and got the sordid history to remind me.
Avery is different, though. I feel it in my bones.
As though I’ve found that fundamental missing link in my DNA.
For the first time ever, there is something that scares the shit out of me—and it’s losing her.
“I promise.”
“She’s been through enough.” Relinquishing her grip on my chin, she holds on to my arm, making her tremors more noticeable.
They’re worsening at a faster pace that makes me worry. I know her doctor said that there’s nothing else they can try outside of clinical studies, but watching her deteriorate is fucking painful especially when she still has so much fire in her.
If anything happens to her, Avery and Iris will be devastated. That only makes my observation harder to stomach. I’ve never wanted to protect someone so much as I need to when it comes to them. They mean more than anything I’ve ever had.
“I mean it. You brought her into my home, and I won’t let you mess her around. You understand?”
“I like her, Josie. I’ve never—”
Marking me with a glare, she comes closer until we’re toe to toe. “Like isn’t enough.” The sternness in her voice is cutting. “Like isn’t enough for her or for Iris. Like is fleeting, and they need steady and strong. They need someone that’s going to fight for them to the very end. You understand?”
“Yeah, I do, but I’m not going to tell you what she needs to hear first, so…”
I can’t do that to Avery. She deserves to be the first person to know exactly how I feel about her. How she makes me feel. She staggered into my life, and it feels fuller with her and Iris than it has ever felt with money and success.
“She’s easy to love. A lot easier than I ever was, and Duke loved me more than I ever thought possible.” Tears line her eyes with yearning, and before I can comfort her, she turns away, telling me, “Don’t fuck this up or I swear to God, boy, I’ll make sure you regret it.”
All I want is to give Avery everything I can and more. I want to be all that she needs. For a long as I breathe and as long as she’ll let me.
I’m in my head while I watch Jo take the steps to the porch slower than usual when the front door opens. Ship comes bounding toward me with his tail swishing excitedly behind him. It doesn’t matter how many times he jumps up at me for attention, Avery is the only thing I can focus on.
Our surroundings fade and the world falls away as she stands on the top step looking at me.
Her smile is a little guarded at first, making my chest tighten with the thought that there’s a chance she’ll be torn from me in the near future.
Still, that doesn’t stop all the other thoughts from going down a torrid track.
Holy shit!
I have to take a moment to pick my jaw up from the ground with how stunning she looks. The white dress she’s wearing makes her tan glow. Even though she’s wearing flat sandals, her legs look long and endless, perfectly sinuous as they disappear beneath the loose skirt of her cotton lace dress.
When Cap falls at her feet, Avery half crouches and half bends to pat his head, making her tousled curls cascade over her face. Incapable of looking away, I take a half step forward, urged by the needy hum in my fingers to run through those luscious strands.
The very first instant I laid eyes on her, I thought she was pretty, but man do I feel like a fool for not realizing just how exquisite she is.
Then she starts toward me, and my heart goes into overdrive.
It takes everything in me not to fucking stare her out and drool like one of the dogs running around us.
“Hey, Doc!” Avery sings bashfully when we’re a few feet away.
Her voice has that nervous, high-pitched edge to it that draws me closer, in spite of feeling nervous myself. With Jo watching us, I might as well be back in high school, picking up my date with her mom watching me in warning.
Don’t fuck this up, and don’t hurt my girl!
“Sunshine,” I manage, but jeez, I’m so out of practice with the serious dating thing that we both stand there looking at each other.
I know I’m meant to compliment her, but I’m still trying to catch my breath. Which is impossible as the gentle breeze wafts her honeyed, floral scent my way, making my mouth water with the need to taste her again.
I have no idea how I’m going to make it through tonight with the way she’s looking at me, gnawing on her lip with a half-lidded gaze that calls my dick to attention.
“You ready?” I finally ask.
“Mmhmm.”
There’s a shy awkwardness between us that hasn’t been present in this way before. An underlying excitement that knots the pit of my stomach while I watch her sway in the breeze.
“How was Rowan’s?” I ask in order to break the stiffness of the moment. “I bet Iris was excited today.”
“You’re not kidding! I’ve never seen her so happy and…” Avery draws in a deep breath like she needs to steady herself.
She’s wearing her emotions on the surface, and I know that tonight needs to be perfect. This has to be the best night of her life. I need her to see what it would be like with me.
“She couldn’t wait for me to leave. Too bad Callie wanted to give me a makeover.” Avery tips her head to the side, looking a little abashed, while her hot pink, freshly manicured fingers tug at her earlobe.
“You didn’t need it.”
Taking a deep breath, she beams at me, her hand falling to splay beneath the curve of her breasts, making it impossible for me not to fixate on the low V. The way they sit high and full…
Now’s not the time to be a fucking perv, asshole!
I force my eyes back to hers, pausing momentarily on the column of her neck as she swallows and then on the way she rolls her bottom lip into her mouth, worrying it.
“Rhett…” Her whisper is croaky as she comes closer.
Coral glossed lips rub together, and my dick threatens to mast at the audible pop and the springing thought of what they might feel like squeezing around it.
It’s not the first time the thought’s crossed my mind, but it’s almost impossible to shake myself free of it as she licks across the perfect line of her teeth.
Fuuuuck…
I have no idea what’s wrong with me. Only that our secret kisses and my fleeting tastes of her have awakened a hunger I haven’t felt in a long time.
A hunger I can’t imagine having for any other woman.
I’ve never craved anyone like this before, and it says a lot because of all the stupid shit I’ve done in my life.
Grabbing her hand, I lace my fingers with hers, walking her around the front of the car to the passenger side.
Avery pauses when I open the door for her, eyes widening on the corny, light-hearted gift I left on the seat before a laugh bursts from her. It’s perfection. Addictive too. I wish I could rewind and replay it on loop.
“I told you…” I grab the Care Bear and turn it over in my hands before handing it to her. “My cheese game is strong.”
“No lie, huh…”
“I wouldn’t ever do that to you.”
It’s the stupidest thing I could’ve said right now because it sobers the moment for a beat until slowly the serious expression morphs into a faint smile that brightens fondly as she tells me, “I was obsessed with these as a child.”
“Was? You hum the theme tune all the time.”
The pink flush of her cheeks deepens as she looks over the bear, and then in a move that surprises the hell out of me, she hugs the damn thing.
“Not gonna lie, sunshine, it feels pretty fucked-up to be jealous of a stuffed animal.”
With a deep inhale of the toy’s blue fluff, she looks up at me, thick lashes framing moss-and-gold-flecked eyes. “Care Bears feel different to other stuffed toys when you hug them.” Avery licks her lip coyly and then adds, “This one smells good too.”
As though it was a prompt, I inhale deeply at her statement. Her scent fills my lungs, drawing me nearer. The closer I get, the more she squeezes the bear to her chest, making it hard to look anywhere except for her breasts, and damn, I want to pull the thing from her grasp and take its place.
Goddamn, she’s so sexy with her soft smile and fluttering lashes. All I want to do is jump into my car and pull her up onto my lap. I want to hold her as close as she’s holding that bear and kiss the breath right out of her lungs.
Taking the gift from her, I sit it on top of the dashboard before I help her up and lean across to plug the belt in.
Man, I don’t think I can take the way my heart is beating so fast, making my blood pump hotter around my body. Goose bumps break out across the back of my neck with a barely controllable shudder as her heavy exhales cover my skin.
My sight lowers, fixing on her bare thighs.
Now that she’s sitting, the skirt seems shorter.
I have to bite down on my lip to stop the groan that rumbles at the back of my throat.
The need to touch her and explore every magnificent inch of skin is so heavy that it congeals the air around us.
The mental image of slipping my hands beneath her skirt, feeling the physical warmth of her flesh and the goose pimples scattered over it…
God, I’m going straight to hell for this is all I can think as my fingertips burn with the need to bury themselves in her flesh. My mind becomes convoluted with images of what she would look like beneath me and the sounds she would make as I kiss every inch of her body.
I wonder if she’s as wet as I imagine her to be. As needy as her breaths make her out. Pulling back with a rough skim of my hand over my face—as if it might help stow my errant thoughts—I shut the door and round the car, noticing how she’s holding the bear again when I get in.
Without another word, I try to collect my breaths and myself while we drive away from the ranch.