17. AVERY #3
I think about his question for a beat. “I haven’t thought about it, and Carl and I never spoke about having more.
I think after Iris was born, he realized that the notion of having a child is very different to the reality.
He didn’t want her when she kept us up all night or puked up on his expensive suits.
It didn’t take long for the baby he practically forced on me to become an inconvenience to him.
Ironically, she became my solace. A saving grace throughout the years. ”
“She’s an awesome kid. I get why she and Scarlett get along so well.”
“It’s the first time she’s had a friend outside of swim club and school.”
Surprise and disbelief scrunch up his face. “Really?”
“Carl didn’t like inviting people into our house, and going to other’s houses wasn’t okay either. We used to meet another little girl at the local playground, but when I turned down every playdate at her house or shied away from inviting her to ours…it eventually fizzled out.”
“Sounds like you were isolated.”
“It’s one of my biggest mistakes and regrets, especially seeing how happy Iris is in her friendship with Scarlett.”
Handing me the basket, he grasps my hand, stealing my full attention. “You haven’t answered my question.”
I know, and answering is making me nervous. It’s obvious that my reply will be something monumental to us. “Thinking about it now, it’s not a make-or-break issue for me. Iris is more than enough for me. If it’s only ever her, I’ll still be as happy as I am now.”
“You might change your mind,” he tells me.
Dropping my hand and taking his back, I say, “You might change yours. You asked me to trust you to make the right decision and do the right thing if that ever happened. Well, it’s the same for me.”
“Avery.” He tries to take his hand back, but I hold it tighter, silencing whatever it is he’s about to tell me because it’ll be him trying to push what he thinks I should feel on me. And I’ve had enough of people doing that to last me a lifetime.
“At the risk of sounding callous, just because you couldn’t have a baby with one person, doesn’t mean you can’t with another. Look at Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman—they adopted together and then both went on to have children with different people.”
“I’ve been selfish enough in my lifetime, but I don’t want to be that person with you. You deserve better.”
“Let me define what that is.” Going up onto my knees, I stroke over his jaw. “I need you to trust that I know what’s better for me.”
“And Iris?”
“There is no me without her, and my definition of better is being happy, and look at her, Doc.”
“I don’t want to let either of you down.”
“What if you’re our second chance at everything we’ve ever wanted? You’re meant to be a genius doctor, Rhett, and I’m not rocket science.”
Sitting back onto my heels, I take a deep breath to steady myself.
This is the biggest risk I’ve ever taken.
Opening myself up to another person right now is the greatest gamble of my life, especially with someone who has the ability to decimate me.
Still, every molecule of my being is urging me to do it.
“With you, even with the storm I know is coming, I feel good and, believe it or not, in control. My life hasn’t been in my control in years. I’ve lived trying to please someone who didn’t want me and trying to be a version of me that would make everyone else, except me, happy.”
I start to take the cardboard boxes out of the basket, smiling at the one from the little bakery in town that serves the best red velvet cupcakes I’ve ever had.
“In case you ever think you need to be something you’re not for me…
” Rhett takes out a bottle of sparkling grape juice, the rosé kind Iris and I love to drink when we’re celebrating something.
“I like who you are. Everything about you, sunshine. You’re always, always going to be more than enough and so much more than I deserve. ”
“Anyone ever tell you you’re the biggest cheeseball?”
“I’m pretty certain it’s the weird cheese-and-cucumber sandwiches you’re smelling.”
“I love those.”
“I know. Iris kindly made me a list of all your favorite things. Have to say, there weren’t any fluffy kittens or raindrops on mittens or…” Scrunching his nose in thought, he pulls a face. “You get the picture.”
“It’s raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, but yes, I get the picture, and I think you’ve showcased your cheese enough.”
“No, no, no, sweetheart, you have no idea how strong the cheese can get. Just you wait until our real date. I’m going to get all camembert and stilton on you.”
“Our real date?”
“Listen, Iris and I had a conversation, and if I don’t romance you and make you smile and treat you better than a princess, I’m going to have to answer to her. So, yeah, I’m taking you on a date. You, me, and some more cheese thrown in. The edible kind that Iris says you love.”
“You’re so good with her.”
“Like I said, she’s a good kid, but I want her mom all to myself and at my mercy for one night.” With a wicked hitch of a brow, he licks across his lips before he adds, “Or maybe I’ll be at her mommy’s mercy. I heard she likes control.”
Oh. My. God. The sound of his voice, deep and growly, sends frissons of heat through me, making my toes curl in my shoes and my throat swell with the need to taste his lips. To feel his tongue lick into my mouth and his hands squeeze around my waist.
If Iris wasn’t right there, I would kiss him. I would devour every little ounce of his taste until it was ingrained in me.