Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
When I arrive home, my heart is just starting to slow as I walk through my front door. It has been practically beating out of my chest the entire drive back to the cabin.
“What. The. Actual. Fuck?!” I yell into the empty room. My cat Penelope pops her head up and stares at me from a perch on her cat tree. She spins twice and then settles back in.
“Sorry, Pen,” I say as I stroke her furry head. “Your mama is losing her mind right now. I just saw Logan. I just talked to Logan. Yes, that Logan! Oh my god, this can’t be happening.” Penny tilts her head and listens to me unload the events of the past hour.
“What am I going to do, Pen?” I ask as I continued to pet her. “Logan, can’t be here.”
I wait for my grumpy cat to reply, but of course she doesn’t have any answers. Great listener but not so great with solutions.
My real estate stalking skills are useless. I always knew that there was a possibility Logan would return to Emerley. As time passed, the chance seemed to lessen. What I was not prepared for was the visceral reaction I had to seeing him again.
My entire body hums with acknowledgement. That traitorous bitch. While my brain was raging, my heart and other unmentionable parts were practically singing. I'll chalk that up to muscle memory or some shit.
Logan was a cute boy but hadn’t quite grown into his body if that makes any sense. He was tall and thin the last time I saw him. I see no sign of that now in our brief exchange.
What I saw was all man. Tall and so very handsome.
His lanky limbs filled out perfectly. Not bulky, just perfect.
His light brown hair short on the sides and longer on the top.
He has facial hair for fuck’s sake. He barely had to shave when we dated.
And the tattoos. Oh, the tattoos. They are very unexpected.
Not at all what I would associate with my ex-boyfriend.
Black ink peaked through both the cuffs and neck of his red henley.
I do enjoy a man with tattoos.
No, no, no. I’m spiraling and desperately need reinforcements.
I search through my bag looking for my phone. Once again, I remind myself to clean it out. When I find it, I opened it to our book club group chat.
911!!! Emergency book club meeting.
Bring wine!
Responses come in at once. At least they all can find their phones today.
Claire
OMG, what’s going on? Are you okay? Is your mom, okay?
She’s fine, but I’m not. Please come if you can.
Beck
I’m sooooo sorry.
Beck
I didn’t know.
Beck
He said his name was LJ.
Beck
I can’t believe LJ is LOGAN!
LJ equals Logan James. It’s totally not your fault, Beck.
How would you know?
It was just shocking to see him again, and I need all my girls to debrief.
Claire
Logan? WTAF. When did this happen?
About 30 minutes ago. Can you come?
Claire
I just texted Riot and he will stay with Ben.
Riot’s on my shit list too.
How could he not tell me he was back?
That fucker.
Claire
Do you want me to ask him?
No.
Claire
I’ll let him know to stay away from you for the foreseeable future. lol
Megan
Can someone pick me up?
Jeff is working late, and my car is at the garage.
Beck
I will grab you on my way, Meg.
Beck
I'm so sorry, Han :(
Beck
Do you want me to pick up anything else?
I wouldn’t say no to donuts.
Beck
Done!!!
Megan
Thanks, Beck. I will be ready.
I drop my phone on the counter and pour myself a glass of icy water. I’m still trying to regulate my breathing, as I hold the cold glass to my cheek. In for five seconds. Out for five, I breathe.
As I watch the gentle waves roll onto the shore, my mind drifts back to my last conversation with Logan. It’s been a long time, but that moment is etched in my memory.
“It’s not you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I just can’t do this anymore. I’m only going to end up hurting you.”
The best thing? What a fucking joke. You don’t push away the best thing. You don’t break the best thing. Fuck him. Fuck him for coming back.