Chapter 18 #2
It seemed a strange thing for it to happen over, especially given that I’d been terrified we were about to be over not more than an hour ago, but it happened. At that moment, I realized I was in love with Hawk.
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“I love that you did that for me.”
Hawk simply smiled as he reached over and covered my hand with his.
And as we ate, I considered how concerned he’d been about us not being able to go out to restaurants regularly because of how people felt about him.
If this was what I could expect in exchange, I wouldn’t have cared if we never went out.
“I have a question,” I said after a while.
Hawk chuckled. “No need to announce it. I always tell you to just ask.”
I hesitated for a beat, replaying the question in my mind. The last thing I wanted to do was leave Hawk feeling offended. “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, and if you’re happy, I’m happy for you. But I was wondering what you’d wanted to do.”
“I’m not sure I’m following you.”
“For work. I suspect you find what you’re doing with Joyce and Dale enjoyable enough, but is that what you’ve always wanted to do?”
His expression was marked by disbelief. “Chloe, I assemble furniture.”
“I know. I don’t want you to think there’s anything wrong with that. I was merely curious if that was part of your plan for your life.”
Hawk eyed me curiously. “Sweetness, I’ll repeat, I assemble furniture.”
That response offered no explanation. “I know.”
“So, you realize how ridiculous that question is, don’t you?”
Ridiculous? Not exactly. If anything, I’d been worried about him being offended by it. But the hint of amusement in his tone indicated that wasn’t the case.
I didn’t respond, because I wasn’t quite sure what I could say.
Noting my silence, Hawk clarified, “I’m beyond grateful to Joyce and Dale for giving me the opportunity to make an honest living. But I never had dreams of becoming a furniture assembler. It’s just a job for me.”
I’d figured that much. “If things hadn’t happened in your life the way they did, what do you think you’d be doing instead?”
“I always had a dream of becoming a detective.”
“Really?” I didn’t know what I thought Hawk was going to say, but I never would’ve guessed detective.
“Yeah. After growing up the way we did, seeing my dad in and out of jail, I wanted to be on the right side of things. I wanted to make a better name for myself. And I liked the idea of being able to solve cases.” He chuckled.
“I have a strong attention to detail, so I thought something like that would be the perfect career for me.”
“So, do you no longer have the desire to do that?”
“I’d do it in a heartbeat.”
I shot him a questioning look. “Well, what’s stopping you?”
He covered my arm with his hand again, and the way he did it made me feel like he was preparing me for some bad news. “A felony conviction disqualifies me from a lot of career options, especially one in law enforcement.”
My shoulders rounded as I slumped forward. “I hate that for you.”
Hawk shrugged. “It is what it is. I can’t change it now. Plus, look on the bright side.”
“Is there one?”
He smirked. “Working where I do, I had the opportunity to meet you.”
Returning a grin, I said, “You’re right. That is the bright side. And can I just say one thing?”
“You can tell me anything you want.”
“If you decide, at any point, that you want to explore other career options that might be more fulfilling than what you’re doing now, I’d support you completely.”
Hawk’s expression warmed, his features softening.
“I appreciate that. I can honestly say I haven’t considered doing anything differently than what I’m doing now, because I didn’t think it was an option.
But I never thought having someone as wonderful as you was a possibility, either.
So, I think it’d be worth spending some time ruminating over it. ”
Warmth and joy moved through me. I didn’t care if Hawk wanted to continue building furniture for the rest of his life. What mattered to me was that he was happy and fulfilled every day doing something he loved.
We finished dinner long before the conversation ended, so when it did, and after we’d taken our plates to the kitchen sink, I said, “Thank you for this tonight, Hawk. It was lovely.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed it. I did, too.”
I wanted to kiss him. To wrap my arms around him and hold him. Despite our conversation earlier in the evening and his reassurances that he wasn’t upset with me, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
So, I simply smiled.
That’s when he said, “I owe you for what happened the other night.”
I waved my hand in the air dismissively. “It’s done. Dinner was wonderful, and I’m glad we were able to talk things out. You more than made up for the argument the other night.”
“I’m not talking about that.”
Squinting, trying to figure out what he was referring to, I got no answers. “I’m not sure I understand.”
Hawk closed the distance between us, slipped his arm around my waist, and tugged me close to him. He leaned in, his lips brushing lightly against mine. “I owe you for the other night.”
“Owe me?” I repeated when it suddenly dawned on me. My eyes rounded.
“I see it’s sinking in.”
I didn’t respond. I was too busy living inside my head, trying to figure out how Hawk intended to follow through.
“Are you alright with that?” he asked, his voice low.
“Of course, but…”
“But what?”
I placed my palm lightly against his chest. “If you’re not ready for it, we can wait. I don’t want you to feel pressured to do anything because you feel indebted to me. That night wasn’t about that for me. I swear.”
Hawk fought against a grin. “I’m ready for it, sweetness.”
“Are you sure? I want you to be sure.”
“Chloe, I’m not a virgin. It’s been a while, but I know what I’m doing. And I’ve been thinking about all the things I want to do to you for a long time now. I’m good.”
How could I argue with that?
I slid my palm up his chest and over his shoulder, my other hand meeting it behind his head. “Okay. Then you can do whatever you feel is necessary to make it up to me.”
Hawk’s mouth descended on mine again. He captured my lips in a bruising kiss before hoisting me up. My legs went around his waist, and the next thing I knew, he was carrying me through his home.
I could only assume he was taking us to the bedroom.