17. Chapter 17
Grayson
I can’t decide if I’m freaking the fuck out or if I’m living all my dreams. Both.
I think it’s actually both. For one, I’m playing last night over and over again in my head on a loop.
Harlow’s facial expressions, his moans, and the way I literally stole his words will probably never leave my head again.
I’m gonna be an old man on my deathbed, still thinking about the way his lips stretched around me. About how no matter how much I gave him, he just wanted more. About the way his body convulsed and shook as he came on the shower floor.
And that’s not even taking into account the way he sank into my embrace and fell asleep within seconds. It took me forever to fall asleep. My brain was too loud. It seemed like Harlow—who always has a constant stream of thoughts and words—gave them all to me.
Even now that he’s back to normal and moving a mile a minute, I can’t stop thinking about it all.
“Here?” he asks, pointing at a high-end jewelry store.
He’s beaming, happiness and excitement pouring from every inch of his body. After waking me up with excited rambling about picking out our rings today, he hasn’t slowed down once.
The whole time he was waiting for me to get ready, he was bouncing around, pacing back and forth, and checking the time over and over. As if all the rings in the city were going to disappear.
I thought at first that maybe the whole ring thing was a drunken thought, but as soon as he opened his eyes, his first words were, “Let’s go get our rings,” and he hasn’t stopped talking about it since.
It’s fucking with my head. Not that I don’t want it.
I do. Of course I do. It’s been my dream since I was twelve years old, but now that it’s actually happening, I’m wondering if it’s more of a nightmare.
Sure, we’re married, and sure, we’ve had sex now, and sure, we’re buying rings, but it’s not real.
I’ve wanted this my whole life, and I finally have it, and it’s not even fucking real.
“I’m not sure,” I say, shaking my head. “This place looks expensive.”
He glances up at me with a pout. “I’m not worthy of an expensive ring?”
I’d go broke to buy him an expensive ring, but… “It’s only for three months, right? So maybe we should do something more… cost-effective.”
That seems to deflate him some, and I want to take the words back. “Oh yeah, I forgot about that.” I can’t see how. It’s all I can think about. Already there’s a calendar counting down the days in my head until all this goes away. “Okay, but can’t we just look?”
I sigh. “Sure.”
There’s no harm in just checking it out, and I’ve always been shit at telling Harlow no.
His previous excitement comes back, bubbling up and damn near spilling over as he opens the door and breezes inside.
The store is nice, with cases filled with rings, necklaces, and earrings, and when we’re both inside, the woman behind the counter with a name tag that says Olivia waves at us. “Hi, how can I help you today?”
Harlow reaches back, grabbing blindly for my hand, so I slide my fingers through his, and he tugs me forward. “Hi, we’re looking for wedding bands.”
She smiles. “Perfect. For yourselves?”
Harlow glances back at me. “Yes,” I say, answering for him. “We did everything all backward. Wedding first, rings after.”
Olivia laughs, leaning over the counter. “You know? That’s not even the first time I’ve heard that this year.” Raising an eyebrow, she smirks. “Kinda comes with the city, I think.”
Harlow giggles. “Yeah, I can see that.”
“Well, I’m Olivia,” she says, pointing to her name tag. “What are you looking for?”
My heart skips a beat. I can’t believe I’m ring shopping with Harlow right now. Feels a lot more like a dream than a nightmare, so I think I’m just gonna roll with it. Soak up the good feelings, and enjoy them for as long as I can.
“What kind of ring do you want?” I hear myself ask.
He gives me an indulgent smile, his blue eyes crinkling at the edges. “I’m not sure. Do you like normal gold or white gold? Probably just something simple, right?”
“Yeah, I think simple. I like traditional gold, but I’m not picky.”
Olivia makes a clicking sound with her tongue, dragging my attention away from Harlow. “I have these.”
She reaches into the glass case in front of her, pulling out matching rings. The bands are simple, medium thickness. There’s nothing remarkable about them, and they’re fine. But nothing like what Harlow deserves.
I know it’s not a lifetime marriage and that I’m the one who argued for having cheap bands not ten minutes ago, but… “What about these?” I ask, pointing to another set of rings in the case.
They’re brushed gold with beveled edges, and while still simple, they’re gorgeous.
Olivia hums, putting the other rings back in the case and pulling out the ones I pointed to. They’re just shy of a thousand dollars each, which is still not as expensive as some of the other rings in here, but it’s definitely a steeper price than the first rings Oliva showed us.
“Those are gorgeous,” Harlow says, his voice hushed. “Can I try one on?”
Olivia nods. “Of course.”
I pick one of the rings up out of the box, and I’m working on handing it to Harlow when he holds his left hand up in the air between us.
My throat bobs as I dart my gaze to his. “Put my ring on me, please, husband.”
My heartbeat quickens as I swallow hard, lifting the ring to Harlow’s hand and sliding it down his ring finger. It goes easily past his knuckle, settling perfectly at the base of his finger.
It looks stunning against his skin, and my stomach flips wildly. Harlow is wearing a wedding ring. A wedding ring that I put on him. Fuck. Harlow Young is my husband.
“Do you like it?” I croak out.
Harlow studies his hand for a second, his eyes soft. “I do,” he whispers. “Let me put yours on.”
I hold my hand out dutifully, my throat almost closing up when Harlow slides the cool band onto my finger. It fits perfectly, just like his, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d almost think it was fate.
Harlow places his hand next to mine, and seeing them side by side… Matching rings on each of our hands is almost more than I can take. I wish I could kiss him. We turn our heads at the same time, locking eyes.
“We’ll take them,” I say without breaking eye contact.
A shocked expression passes over his face. “What do you mean? You said you didn’t want to spend this much.”
And I didn’t, but I also can’t deny how it feels to know that a ring I slid onto Harlow’s finger myself will stay there for the next three months.
“Do you like it?”
He nods slowly. “I love it, but—”
“Okay, then.” I turn to Olivia. “We’ll take these.”
“You don’t want to see any others?”
I shake my head. These are perfect. Reaching into my back pocket, I pull out my wallet and hand Olivia my credit card.
The entire time she’s taking my payment, I’m watching Harlow, and he’s looking at his hand. At his ring. The ring that I put there.
My heart swells to a near-breaking point. This is going to kill me, but God, what a way to go out.
Olivia taps the counter, then hands my card back to me when I finally manage to drag my gaze from Harlow.
“Thank you,” I murmur, sliding my fingers through Harlow’s.
“Yes, thank you so much,” he echoes.
Olivia wishes us well, and we walk out into the heat together.
“Holy fuck,” Harlow says as soon as we’re outside the building. “I can’t believe you spent so much money.”
“You liked the rings.”
Harlow scoffs. “Yeah, but Jesus, Gray.”
It’s a gorgeous ring, and once I saw it on his finger, that was it. He loved it. I loved it. I especially loved seeing it on him.
“It’s fine. I promise.”
Holding his hand up in the air, he admires the ring. My breath catches. So fucking worth it. “So,” I say, trying to gain some semblance of control over myself. “Do we have plans today?”
Harlow shakes his head, still not taking his eyes off the ring. “Not until later. Fancy dinner.”
“Oh yeah. I forgot about that.”
Dropping his hand, Harlow turns to me with a wide grin. “It’s gonna be so romantic. And I get to look at my wedding ring the whole time, so now I’m even more excited.”
My heart thumps. Dangerous, dangerous, dangerous.
Who am I kidding? It’s too late to go back now, and even if I could? I can’t say that I would.
The real world is hurtling toward me at unfair speeds. One dinner, one sleep, and one flight home are all that remain of our little bubble.
This time tomorrow we’ll be back home. We’ll be moving his stuff out of Josh’s place and into mine, going back to work, and facing the consequences of our actions with people who know us in real life.
I’m not ready.
I’ve enjoyed this. Having Harlow all to myself is a novel experience, and I don’t want to give that up. The only thing that’s keeping me from fully spiraling is the knowledge that he wants to sleep in my bed when we get home.
Unless that’s changed. Something tells me it hasn’t. If anything, he seems more clingy now than ever before.
“What do you think?” Harlow asks, smoothing his hands over his hair. He’s wearing a pair of dark pants and a gray knitted sweater that makes his eyes pop even more than usual.
I think he’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on. I think the gold of his ring reflecting the light is unreal. I think he’s the man of my dreams, and he doesn’t even know it.
“You look really nice.”
Harlow grins, flashing his perfect teeth. “You too.”
“Are you ready?”
Nodding, Harlow reaches out to take my hand. I’m not sure we’ve ever held hands so much in our lives. Is that something that’ll change when we get home? I sure fucking hope not.
The Eiffel Tower is somehow exactly how I pictured it and nothing like it at the same time. In the center is a large bar, and the floor-to-ceiling windows show off the Vegas skyline in all directions.
We’re led to a small table against the window, and when we sit down, I glance out.
“You can see the fountains,” Harlow says, his voice filled with wonder.
They’re lit up right now, dancing and swaying to music we can’t hear from this high up. “Would you wanna see them at ground level before we head back to pack?” I ask, turning my attention to him.
He’s still staring out the window, his eyes wide and awed. “Yeah, can we?”
I can’t fight my smile. “Of course.”
Opening my menu, I flip to the appetizers page. “What do you think you’re gonna eat?”
Harlow turns his attention back to me. “I’m not sure. I haven’t looked at the menu.”
“Oh.” I scan the page. “I think I just figured you’d already seen what they had when you chose this spot.”
“I actually chose it because I liked the idea of being at the top and seeing the views. I didn’t even think to look at the food.”
I chuckle. That actually checks out. Would Harlow even be Harlow if he didn’t jump both feet first into everything, even without all the information he needs?
“What the fuck?” he whispers, his eyes scanning the menu. “That might have been a mistake. What is this stuff? Marinated octopus? Bone marrow.” He glances up at me, horror etched on his face, before darting his gaze back to the menu. “Escargot?”
“Snails,” I say, answering his question as he looks up at me.
His mouth falls open, his brows drawing together. “Snails? People eat snails?”
I shrug. “It’s supposed to be really good.”
He shakes his head. “No. I can’t eat here.”
“They have other things.” I lean closer, tapping his menu. “Salmon. You like salmon”
Throat bobbing heavily, he swallows again. “In the same kitchen they’re making bone marrow and octopus and snails? What’s the bone marrow even from?”
“Bones,” I say, deadpan.
He rolls his eyes, but he looks disgusted. “I mean, from what animal?”
“Cows, I’d imagine.”
Harlow pales. “I really can’t eat that.”
I’m trying really hard to keep myself from laughing, but it’s basically impossible. “You don’t have to. There’s other stuff on the menu.”
Sitting back in his seat, he looks at his lap and starts nibbling on his lip. The nervous gesture makes my heart clench.
“Hey,” I whisper, waiting until he looks at me before I continue. “Do you wanna leave? We can find a food truck or something and go watch the fountains.”
He’s still nibbling on his lower lip, but after a second, he sighs, releasing it. “No, that’s okay. I don’t want to ruin our night.”
“Harlow.” I shake my head. “Any night with you could never be ruined. Let’s go.”
“Are you sure?”
Standing, I offer him my hand. His eyes fall to it, then his lips quirk up, and he takes it, letting me help him to his feet.
I place my hand on the small of his back and lead him out of the restaurant.
There’s no way I’m gonna make him stay here if he won’t even eat anything. There’s no reason for it.
“I feel bad,” he says softly when we step off the elevator.
“Why?”
He sighs. “It was supposed to be a romantic dinner.”
Sliding my fingers through his, I step out of the building and head toward the fountains. I’m mostly going off memory, so I hope we don’t get lost.
“And now we can have a romantic walk and go look at the pretty water.”
Harlow shifts, pressing closer to me.
“You know,” I say softly. “Just because we’re married now doesn’t mean anything changes, right? We’re still us. Still Gray and Harlow.”
His lips quirk up. “I know.”
“Good. I’ve always been down to take any adventure with you, you know that. Even if that means plans change, or hell, we get married in Vegas. Any adventure with you is fun.”
We round the corner, and the fountains come into view.
Harlow gasps, his fingers tightening on mine. If I had known they would have caused a reaction like this, I would have brought him sooner.
The water is dancing in time with the music, lights reflecting off it. It really is beautiful.
We get closer, then Harlow leans into my side. I drop his hand and wrap my arm tightly around him. Snuggling into me, he sighs. “This is really nice. Much better than snails.”
A smile splits my lips, and I lean down, pressing a gentle kiss to his wild curls. Pulling away, Harlow looks up at me, the water and lights making his blue eyes glow.
I’m lost in that for a second. In his eyes. In how beautiful they are. How beautiful he is. And when he purses his lips and tilts his head back more, I don’t even pretend to hesitate.
Cupping his jaw, I lean down, sealing our lips together for a slow kiss.
I’m not ready for this to be over. None of it. This week has felt like hours, and if I know how time works, three months will feel like three days, and it’ll be time to give him up.
I already know it’s going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.