Chapter Eleven
D espite Faith’s declaration, it did not, in fact, pass.
Not for a while.
Faith stood behind her, asking a thousand questions, none of which Amy was capable of answering while she was hunched over the toilet. Finally Faith got the message and excused herself, leaving Amy in relative peace for the next half hour.
Thankfully, the nausea receded, and on shaky legs, Amy went to the sink to splash some cold water on her face. What a long morning it had already been and the sun was barely up. As she looked at herself in the mirror, she could make out the dark circles that hugged her eyes. It looked like she’d pulled an all-nighter on the road between rodeo destinations instead of a night wrapped up in Josh’s arms.
She took a deep breath, comforted by the thought of him, if not still a little mortified.
At least her stomach had settled.
For now.
Amy washed her hands and left the bathroom, careful with every step, somehow afraid to trigger another bout of nausea. But as she reached her room and sank down on her bed, she was feeling a little better.
“Here,” Faith said, appearing in the doorway. The tie at the end of her braid was coming loose. She passed Amy a glass of water.
“I’m almost afraid to drink anything.”
“Little sips,” Faith said, the way their parents had when they were younger. “The last thing you want to do is get dehydrated. Then it’ll be off to the hospital in Bronco.”
Amy grumbled. Faith was right. That’s the last thing she wanted. She brought the glass of water to her lips, realizing how dry her mouth was, and took a small sip. The water went down her throat like sandpaper. She winced.
“How are you feeling now?” Faith asked.
“Exhausted. Though my stomach feels settled for the first time since this morning. Then again, maybe this is just a short reprieve. Who knows?”
“Was it something you ate?” Faith said.
“No.” Amy shook her head. She repeated what she’d said to Josh. “I’m thinking it’s a stomach bug, maybe.” Though she was already feeling much better than she had been ten minutes ago. But just in case… “You should keep away from me. I’m already worried I gave whatever this is to Josh. I don’t need you and Caleb to catch it too.” Amy flopped back on her bed. “God, how can I feel so horrible and so wonderful at the same time?”
“Good night until this happened?” Faith asked. “You didn’t respond to any of my texts.”
“How could I? Josh was right there. Did you think I was going to start gushing about him while he was lying beside me?”
“You seemed really happy to ignore me.”
“I was.” She sighed heavily. “It was honestly the best night, Faith. Possibly the best night of my life. And I know that sounds ridiculous, but things were just different with Josh. I mean, it’s new and exciting, but there’s also something that feels…”
“Right?” Faith said softly.
“Yeah,” Amy said. “Like I was finally where I was supposed to be, and everything just made sense.”
“Good thing Josh didn’t hear you say that. It’d go right to his head.”
“It’s not just the sex though.” Amy laughed.
“I know,” Faith said, sitting down next to her and patting her knee. “I get it.”
Amy smiled a bit. She probably did get it. Maybe she’d felt the same way with Caleb. It was like a giddy bubble had swelled in her chest, making her light and buoyant. Like nothing could bring her down. Until this morning. “If only I didn’t get sick!” Amy covered her head with the pillow. She wanted to scream. “Like, how embarrassing is that? You sleep with a guy and then throw up in his bathroom.”
Faith drummed her fingers against her lips. “Amy, what if it isn’t a stomach bug?”
Amy tossed the pillow aside, sitting up on her elbows so she could look at her sister. Faith was studying her, lips pursed, eyes narrowed, like she was puzzling something out. She opened her mouth, then closed it again. Amy tilted her head. “What are you talking about?”
Faith cleared her throat. “I hate to even ask this. And please don’t take it the wrong way. But is it in any way possible… I mean… Do you think you could be pregnant?”
Pregnant? She huffed a laugh. Really? Pregnant? She shook her head. “No.” She sat up all the way. “No, I’m not. I mean, the last time I was with anyone was back around Christmas. We were careful, thank God,” she muttered. “And I took a pregnancy test weeks ago, just to be sure because things didn’t work out between us, and it was negative.” But by “weeks,” Amy realized she meant almost three months ago. She’d taken that pregnancy test back in January. Still, it wasn’t possible that she was pregnant with… Tru’s baby . Oh, son of a—
Amy stared at Faith, wide-eyed, shaking her head in disbelief. “It can’t… I can’t.”
“Oh, honey,” Faith said, taking her hand. “You know those tests aren’t always accurate. Or maybe you simply took it too soon or maybe it was a false negative.”
“No.” Amy couldn’t do anything but keep shaking her head.
“Think about it. It would explain all of your odd symptoms. Maybe it would even explain this bout of sickness that doesn’t seem to be a stomach bug or food poisoning.”
“Morning sickness?” Amy said. “But I haven’t been sick every morning.”
“No, but that’s not always the case for every woman. Maybe you’ve been really lucky so far. But there’s been other signs, Amy. Think about it. Maybe one-offs, but when you add them all up together—” Faith counted things off on her fingers. “That dizzy spell you had a few weeks ago in the store, and you’re always complaining about being tired. You’ve also been weepy, which is really out of character for you.”
Amy shifted to the edge of the bed, clutching the mattress as the pieces fell into place. She’d really thought that dizzy spell was because she hadn’t eaten. And of course she was tired; she spent every spare minute she wasn’t at the store with Josh. And she’d always chalked the weepiness up to being dumped by Tru. But then she thought about the fact her clothes had been feeling tighter too. Her heart galloped in her chest, the beat rushing by her ears like the crash of ocean waves.
What if Faith was right and the test had been wrong?
“Have you been getting your period?” Faith asked.
Amy shrugged. “With my birth control it’s virtually non-existent, so I wouldn’t even know. That’s why I took the test. To be sure.” As reality settled over her, terror set in, and Amy’s voice trembled. “God. Not now!” She covered her face with her hands. “Not when things with me and Josh are getting so good.”
“Okay,” Faith said diplomatically. She got to her feet, pacing in front of Amy. “Let’s not panic about anything. We don’t even know for sure yet. So, here’s what we’re gonna do. You’re gonna shower so you feel more like a human, and I’m gonna run out to the drugstore to pick up a pregnancy test. Then we’ll regroup, okay?”
Amy didn’t say anything.
“I’m gonna go now. Try not to freak out while I’m gone.”
Amy nodded. “Right. Okay.” A plan. She could handle a plan. The not freaking out part… Well, she wasn’t making any promises about that.
Faith left for the Tenacity Drugs & Sundries, and Amy got in the shower, scrubbing until she felt like herself again. Was that what this was? Morning sickness? Don’t think about it, she thought as a wave of panic launched up her throat. Nothing was confirmed, and until it was, she’d be freaking out for no reason.
When she was done in the shower, she dressed and brushed her hair. By then, Faith had returned. She handed Amy a bag full of tests.
“Isn’t this a little overkill?”
“Do you want to be sure or what?”
Amy took one of the tests, popped into the bathroom, and peed on the stick following all the directions. When she was done, she opened the bathroom door, and she and Faith paced, waiting for the results with bated breath.
It came back positive.
“No,” Amy said. She grabbed another test and took that one. It also came back positive and the panic inside her skyrocketed. Amy went to grab a third test but Faith stopped her. Stared at her.
“Amy,” she said softly.
Amy slumped against the bathroom wall. She was pregnant. This whole time she’d been pregnant. She was going to have a baby . A million thoughts raced through her mind. A baby? She couldn’t have a baby. She hadn’t been taking care of herself properly these past months. She tried to think back to every potentially foolish decision. Had she had a drink these past four months? She’d definitely been horseback riding. And she obviously hadn’t been to see a doctor. Weren’t there vitamins she was supposed to be taking? Or like…things she was supposed to be planning for? Birth? Lamaze classes? She didn’t know how she was supposed to be breathing!
She was sort of hyperventilating now and that clearly wasn’t right. She was also thirty-five. Did that make her a high-risk pregnancy?
“What are you thinking?” Faith asked.
“A really bad word,” Amy said.
Faith chuckled softly and leaned against the wall beside her. “That’s fair. I probably would be too.”
“I can’t believe I was so stupid.”
“You weren’t though. You did the things you were supposed to do. Used protection. Checked. It’s just one of those flukes. You know, the zero point one percent chance or whatever it is.”
“Of course it would happen to me.”
“I know you haven’t had long to process this news, but do you know what you’re going to do now?” Faith nudged her shoulder. “Whatever it is, just know I support you and Caleb and I will be here. And all of your sisters will.”
Amy had no idea what she was going to do. Of course her family would be supportive. She wouldn’t expect anything else. But there was so much more to this. Tru-shaped complications that she hadn’t ever considered. Having his baby would mean that she would be forever tied to that man.
The corner of Faith’s mouth twitched uncertainly, and she took Amy’s hand, squeezing it. “Amy, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I did my best to stay out of the relationship when it was happening, and I don’t mean to pry now, but is the baby Tru McCoy’s?”
Amy nodded miserably. “The movie star and newlywed,” she said with a dramatic flourish. “And I’m now apparently his baby mama.”
“Wow,” Faith said under her breath. “We suspected maybe you two had a thing.”
“Who?”
“Oh, me, Tori, Elizabeth, Carly. We used to talk about it all the time. But I never expected this to be the result.”
“Yeah. You and me both.” She could only imagine how he’d respond to the news when he found out. How was she going to tell him? Did she even want to tell him? She hadn’t spoken to Tru in months. He’d likely already forgotten who she was, and maybe that was for the best. Maybe there was no need to drag him back into her life.
Besides, there was something haunting her more than the thought of confessing she was pregnant to Tru and that was telling Josh . Where did she even begin? As she sat there, she pictured his face and tried to imagine how he would take the news. Would he feel lied to? Betrayed? Worst of all, would he look at her differently now?
Amy couldn’t shake the feeling that she was about to lose him and everything they’d been building together.
It was all over, wasn’t it? Horseback rides around Split Valley Ranch and lunch at the Silver Spur Café and sunsets wrapped in each other’s arms.
It was all about to change.
What a mess she’d made.